Personalized signature in QQ space

3. Oh, my God! My clothes have lost weight again.

2. Get drunk on the wine table if you don't sleep in class ~

1. The only difference between Superman and me is that I wear underwear underneath.

I am not a casual person, but I am not a casual person.

I am in Jianghu, but there is no legend about me in Jianghu. ...

4. Take other people's road and let others have no way out.

It is said that women are like clothes and brothers are like brothers. In retrospect, I actually streaked 19 years too many chefs!

6. I would rather believe in ghosts than men's broken mouths!

1. Clear water means no fish, while lowly people are invincible.

2. The one riding a white horse is not necessarily a prince, he may be a Tang priest; Not necessarily an angel with wings-mother said it was a bird man.

3. Time is the same as cleavage. There is still room for squeezing.

There is no room for two tigers in one mountain unless there is a male and a female.

Never treat the animals that are still dead after bleeding for a week lightly. ...

6. I, a college student's life goal: peasant woman, mountain spring, a little field.

7. Women remember: Be sure to eat, play, sleep and drink well. Once exhausted, other women spend our money, live in our rooms, sleep with our husbands, pick up our boyfriends and beat our babies.

1. In spring, I buried myself in the land at the entrance of the village. In autumn, I got many handsome guys. Then I changed the name of the village to "handsome boy village", and I became the village head as I wished.

One day, I dreamed that I had spent all my money. When I woke up, my pocket was really empty. ...

I have achieved great success in losing weight. Look, my three chins are sharp!

The problem with chocolate is that if you eat it, it will disappear.

Don't wait until everyone says you are ugly to find out that you are really ugly.

If my friends can sell them for five dollars each, I can make a small fortune.

7. A big belly is not terrible. The terrible thing is that it is unexpectedly big.

8. The biggest advantage of blind date is that if there are problems in marriage in the future, you can put the blame on the matchmaker.

9. Women show their generosity first, but men dare not be stingy.

10. Living in bed, dying in bed, wanting to live and die, is also in bed.

1. Wizard, please tell the princess that I am still on my way, and there are snow-capped mountains, rivers, dragons and beautiful women ... Tell her to go back to sleep!

My lover is a stunning beauty, and one day she will marry me on a fire-breathing dinosaur. However, at the end of the story, I only saw her mount, but I didn't see its owner.

1. A tree will die if it is not skinned. People are shameless and invincible in the world.

2. Do everything, do everything.

The real meaning of the iron rice bowl is not to have food in one place, but to have food everywhere all your life.

4. Sao belongs to Sao, and Sao has Sao Zhen; Cheap means cheap, and cheap has cheap dignity.

If eating more fish can make people smart, then I must have eaten at least one pair of whales.

6. Success in life lies not in getting a good deck of cards, but in how to play the bad ones well.

8. When you were born, you cried and everyone laughed; When you left, you smiled and everyone cried.

10. Wear other people's shoes, go your own way and let others find it.

1 1. After several decades, we will meet again, send them to the crematorium, burn them all to ashes, and send them all to the countryside to be used as fertilizer.

An expert looks at the door, while a layman looks at the sidewalk.

3. There are no roadside wildflowers, step on them!

4. I met a MM personality signature: I can't play chess and draw, and I am tired of washing and cooking.

I met a GG signature: Give me a girl and I can create a nation.

6. I met an old Shaanxi personality signature: ugly women are more troublesome, and black buns are more vegetables.

7. I saw our teacher's signature: I tell you, the teacher is very angry now, and the consequences are serious.

8. I met a writer's signature: it may look like it, but it may not be.

9. I met a lover's signature: I don't have to count what I say, I like it every day.

10. I met Sleeping King in my class. Signature: three minutes full in the morning, three minutes full in the middle and six minutes full after dinner.

1. midnight 12 logout! Otherwise, the princess will become Cinderella again.

2. Hello, is this China Mobile? This is China Unicom. My PHS is broken. Can you send China Tietong to repair it?

3. I am an academician of the Institute of Advanced Diving, Chinese Academy of Sciences, and I have lost the Nobel Prize for a long time, and I won the Oscar Award for Lifetime Stealth. ...

4. We want to fly in heaven, two birds are one, and I want to be a pig in the same circle!

7. Split up-do you want a piece of the action?

8. God said, "Let there be light." I said, "No!" So we spent the night.

9. I pinned Konka's TV remote control on my waistband and pretended to buy a new Nokia mobile phone.

10. I think I would like it if I came later in the morning.

2. Life is so fucking interesting, because life always fucking plays with me.

3. Buddha said: "Looking back 500 times in the past life, you have to pass once in this life." I would rather pass the world by 500 times in my life.

The night gave me a pair of black eyes, but I rolled my eyes with them.

I am an actor, and my eyes turn when I see beautiful mm. ...

6. Angels can fly because they despise themselves. ...

7. I want to puppy love, but it's too late. ...

9. I only trust two people in this world, one is me and the other is not you.

10. Don't speak English in front of me in the future, ok?

1. You can go as far as you want!

2. Rogues are not terrible, just afraid of being educated.

Guest officer, please respect yourself. The little girl only sells herself, not herself.

You can't satisfy everyone, because not everyone is human!

7. Take the road of NB and let SB say it!

8. Water can carry a boat and cook porridge!

9. Zi said in Sichuan, "How nice it is to have a boat!"

10. Driving is not difficult, but there are new people!

1. We want a small MM and irrigate it with * * *; I irrigate the head of the Yangtze River and you irrigate the tail of the Yangtze River.

2. Love at first sight, then decline and finally run out.

3. A person is not lonely, but when he misses someone.

4. Life is simple. Live, relax. Life is not easy.

If you can see my back, I think it must be very sad, because I left all my happiness in front!

6. Work QQ, refuse to chat, speak forcefully, and every word is gross; Punctuation marks, half price, 1000 words or more, 20% off; Emoticon picture, ten-month subscription, audio and video, not yet opened; Pay first and then chat, chat as soon as the payment arrives, pay online and provide invoices; Free monthly rent, single charge, weekend, business as usual; Looking for an agent,

1. If something goes wrong, look for the reason from yourself first. Don't blame the earth for its lack of gravity when you are constipated.

2. It's a long road in Xiu Yuan, so I go up and down for help.

4. knit me a scarf, and I am willing to repay it with the care of my life. Otherwise, you can strangle me with a scarf!

Men pretend to understand if they don't understand, but women are just the opposite.

In order to cooperate with the successful completion of family planning work in China this year, I decided not to contact friends of the opposite sex for the time being. Thank you for your cooperation.

1. Birds are big and there are all kinds of Woods.

2. The garden can't be closed in spring. I'm pulling apricots from the wall.

Do you think I'll watch you die? I close my eyes.

I thought I was decadent, and I didn't know that my morning paper was scrapped until today.

5. I am old, my wife, my wife.

6. I regard money as dirt, and my father regards me as a cesspit.

7. I drown my sorrows in wine, but I learned to swim in this damn pain.

8. I am your kite, the thread is in your hand, and only wind energy accompanies me.

9. Everyone else is pretending to be serious, so I have to pretend not to be serious.

1. Money is not a problem, but no money!

2. I am drunk and won't accept anyone, just hold the wall!

I am like a fly lying on the glass, with a bright future, but I can't find a way out.

4. You know what, big brother? Second brother's meat is now more expensive than master's.

6. Clear water leads to no fish, while mean people lead invincible.

7. Youth is like toilet paper. It looks a lot, but it's not enough to use ~

8. Being pregnant is just like being pregnant. It takes a long time for people to see it.

9. Friends around you, get famous quickly, so that my memoirs can sell well ~ ~ ~

12. I always treat handsome guys and money like dirt, and they always treat me like this.

13. Don't be lazy with me, I'm too lazy to compare with you.

16. I am in a bad mood today. I only have four sentences to say, including this one and the first two. I quit. ......

18. My name is God, my name is Jesus, my English name is God, and my dharma name is Tathagata. ...

2 1. The farmer's three punches hurt a little.

22. In fact, I have always been very popular: everyone loved me when I was a child, and now I am a bitch.

23. Don't be afraid of enemies like tigers, but teammates like pigs.

Go your own way and let others take a taxi.

25. Rats are looking for cats all over the street with knives.

26. As long as you work hard, you shit seriously.

27. Who runs fastest in China? It's Cao Cao (not Liu Xiang). Because speaking of the devil.

29. Only when there is a long queue at the railway station can we truly realize that we are "descendants of the dragon".

30. Lovers form families.

3 1. Spring comes, and a flock of geese fly north, forming a B-shape for a while and a T-shape for a while. ..

32. Lie down where you fell.

33. If the tiger doesn't show off, you can treat me as HELLO KITTY!

34. Donkeys can look backwards ~

◆ Women are plump, thin, slim, tall, slim, short and petite; Men are fat, pigs are thin, ribs are tall, bamboo poles are short, and melons are white gourd.

Professor: 90% of adult women in China are not virgins. The president sent a letter to the other 65,438+00% women. Have you ever heard of this? The girls shook their heads. "So you didn't get the letter!"

◆ "How much do you love me?" "Almost a dime." "Is that all?" "Isn't a dime ten dollars?"

You are very creative. It is your courage to live. Ugliness is not your intention. God lost his temper. If you live, who will set off the beauty of the world without you!

0 1. The early bird catches the worm, and the early worm is eaten by the bird!

02. Arguing with MM about whether a whale is a fish, I finally said "I also bring a personal word", and she agreed that a whale is not a fish.

03. The iron pestle can be ground into a needle, and the wooden pestle can only be ground into a toothpick. The material is wrong, and it's no use trying again.

If the answer was a virtue, I would have become a saint.

05. Life can't be like cooking. You can't cook until all the materials are ready.

07. Wear other people's shoes, go your own way and let them take a taxi to find it.

There is an old legend that people who can see beautiful women in XX campus will live forever. ...

09. Can eggs from all over the world unite to break stones? ! So be realistic. ...

1 1. Summer is just not good. When I was poor, I didn't even have to drink the northwest wind. ...

12. I used to have a pair of wings, but I didn't use them to soar in the sky, but put them in a pot to stew soup. ...

15. Today, a group of Japanese people visited our school-to be honest, this is the first time I have seen Japanese people wearing clothes!

16. How far away your thoughts are, how far you go! ! !

17. I am poor, and so are my servants, gardeners and drivers. ...

18. When the bank charges, it says, "This is in line with international practice!" When he was in service, he said: "We must consider China's national conditions!"

23. My friend's name in his girlfriend's mobile phone is "He", and later they broke up and became "It". ...

24. Don't look for me if you have nothing to do, and don't look for me if you have anything to do!

27. What can I do to kill your lover ...

28. The Internet is like a prison. You stole a wallet in, but you know everything when you go out.

3 1. Teacher! Just follow that old woman!

I love you! What do you care?

33. There is no limit to learning the sea, and turning back is the shore!

37. I really want to call your grandfather in person: Dad!

38. Beijing University of Science and Technology cheated me for four years, so I plan to cheat the society with the knowledge taught by Beijing University of Science and Technology for life!

When you put on the wedding dress of love, I also put on the monk's cassock. ...

4 1. Never seen such a disgusting school-set the mid-term exam on May 8th! ! ! (hidden)

42. House prices are getting higher and higher, and there are fewer and fewer good men. ...

43. If I become an emperor, I will make you a prince!

45. I have never been reduced to an excellent college student, relying on strong quality!

46. Shit, I've been complained! The client said that the mp3 file I gave him had no image!

48. Reduce the number of boys behind each girl to six!

49. It rains in the east and rains in the west, and the tutor is heartless. So I will fight with my classmates in the exam!

50. Hugging is really a strange thing. We are so close, but we can't see each other's faces.

1. What RMB should do is to take the road of dollars, so that dollars have no way to go.

2. A Taoist who doesn't want to be an abbot is not a good Taoist!

3. If you can't bear it, bear it again!

I know astronomy above, geography below, but I don't know English.

A good horse doesn't eat grass when he turns around, because there is no grass when he turns around.

6. Life is like taking a shit. Although you try hard, you still get a fart.

7. Sleeping means getting up tomorrow! !

In 2009, as a post-80s generation, I was still giggling!

10. Soldiers who don't want to be soldiers are not good soldiers.

1 1. It looks fat, and it's still fat when you take off your clothes!

14. Young girls are precious, but young women are more expensive. If there are rich women, they can both be thrown away.

15. I swear I will never swear again!

16. I am short of money and women, but I am not fucking wicked!

18. Cherish drugs and stay away from life.

19. Half of life is bad luck, and the other half is dealing with bad things.

20. Is there true love? Of course, there are many in TV series.

2 1. Flowers bloom not to fall, but to bloom more brilliantly.

22. Stupid is too smart!

23. Start with your heart.

Legally speaking, a sexual relationship based on money is whoring. If I text you, we will have a "trust" relationship. Although it's only a dime, at least I've fucked you in my life!

25. Although I lied to you, you should believe me!

26. Women's tears are the most useless liquid, but you make women cry to show that you are useless.

27. Haha,,,,, Being alive is the last word.

28. If you live, one day your life will burn out, your body will return to the earth and flowers will bloom. The soul becomes a memory and lives in people's hearts forever. Everything in the world goes on, and so does human life.

29. In public, I often choose politeness, but in private, I often insult my manners.

30. There are two kinds of men: one is lascivious and the other is very lascivious; There are two kinds of women: one is pure and the other is impure.

3 1. People who are ugly are also special, that is, very ugly. The best among people.

3 1. I am very tired today. I just want to say four words, including what I said before and what I said next.

Before the exam, I thought I knew everything. After the exam, I found that I didn't know anything.

33. It is better to spend money than to spend it.

34. An ugly person is a human being. Because you are ugly, you are a human being.

35. Busy-busy your heart. Without your heart, you will die …

36. Hate is like fire, but hate others but burn yourself.

37. Children who live in fairy tales will die in fairy tales.

39. Don't test people. People can't stand the test.

40. Joke catchphrase: I am also a cow this year!

1. Push me again and I'll play dead for you!

I have not only a car, but also my own!

3. If you like it, I'll buy it for you ... (after realizing that the other person is angry) Oh, no, it's "brother, I'll buy it for you!"

There are so many people who look down on me. Who are you?

I won't tell you if you kill me, but you haven't made a beautiful plan yet!

6. Not only am I lucky, but I also have athlete's foot!

7. Mirrors always reflect light!

8. Is there a P for handsome? Probably eaten by a pawn!

9. Give it to me, and you don't have to worry. There is nothing wrong!

10. Relax, I'm not a good person. ......

12. How dare I charge you if you don't thank me!

13. Don't tell me to bring it on-I'm in love for two generations!

14. If you ignore me, I will be a dog!

15. When will there be a bright moon? Ask Yi Zhongtian!

16. You can't reach it. Try stepping on your right foot with your left foot.

17. Some people are alive and she is dead. Some people are alive, and he should have died!

18. You said ... Do you like me? Actually ... first of all ... actually, I also ... I told you, actually, I like myself.

19. Do you drink water, drink water or drink water? You choose!

20. Castle Peak is still there, but it is a little red.

2 1. Hey, say what should be said and whisper what shouldn't be said.

22. Can you say stealing about a scholar?

23. Damn it, don't ask single men such questions!

24. Zi once said: Don't take my tolerance for you as your shameless capital!

25. Don't think I'm out of reach just because I'm handsome. In fact, I am a sea of rivers.

26. Today the weather is fine, windy and rainy.

27. As a typical failure, you really succeeded!

I really want to kill this bug, but my tongue is not long enough. ...

29. Two heads are better than one, and one is Zhuge Liang.

30. In this golden autumn of red leaves and maple leaves. ......

3 1. One thyroid hormone was cut and the other was not.

32. If you bother me again, I'll tie you to a straw boat and borrow an arrow!

33. The wind is rustling and the water is cold. Pay back the money you owe!

34. A: Where to eat? I have no money.

B: Let's go to the restaurant. It's on me.-the hose.

35. See if there is anything left.

36. I have a dragon and a white tiger, and I have a Mickey Mouse tattooed on my waist.

38. A: Without revenge, it's hard to swallow this evil spirit.

B: Then how can I let you die?

40. She is so fat that my thigh can't twist her arm.

4 1. There is a saying in Shushan, do it first, and learn from the endless sea to make porridge.

42. The world belongs to us and our sons, but in the end it belongs to our grandchildren.

43. I will do my homework!

44. Have you done your homework?

B: Yes! Well, it's still warm under p shares ... do you want it? So you're here.

45. Who is sitting in the village today? He doesn't even clean the blackboard!

46. How much is this pair of shoes?

47. I was really blind at the beginning. ...

48. Is this blind man blind?

1, two farmers play with pigs

2. Kill the bird man, I am an angel!

Live well, because we will die for a long time! ! !

5. Have you heard the story "The big pig said yes, but the little pig said no"?

7. Artificial intelligence cannot be compared with the stupidity of nature-because we advocate pure nature.

We should keep quiet when listening to the lecture in the church. It is impolite to disturb others' sleep.

10, people are not smart and bald! !

1 1, you are electricity, Li Siguang, you are the only myth …

12, stupid people are terrible not because they are stupid, but because they are smart.

13 I always wander between A Niu and Niu C.

14, not afraid of being used, afraid of being useless.

16, weeding at noon, bow and shoot big carvings.

17, the hair is gone and dandruff is more prominent!

18, don't call me if you have nothing to do, and don't call me if you have anything to do.

19, I'd rather have a fight with a wise man than talk to sb!

20. A big woman can't have no electricity for a day, and a little woman can't have no money for a day!

2 1, I would be embarrassed if I was negative that day; If you let me down, I will waver!

22. If the garden can't be closed in spring, I will draw an almond out of the wall.

24, life since ancient times who has not died, ah, nonsense paperless.

25. Steamed steamed buns are not for breath?

26. His knife is cold, his sword is cold, his heart is cold and his blood is cold. Shit, isn't this man dead?

27, the greatness of life, die under the flower!

28. If I lose this life, then I don't want the afterlife.

29. I love you What do you care?

3 1, take the newspaper to the toilet, I am a scholar.

32. Chopin of Niu B can't play the sadness of Lao Zi!

33. Zhuge Liang never led a soldier before he came out of the mountain. Why should I have work experience? ! !

34. Nonsense is the first sentence in interpersonal relationship.

35. As long as the hoe jumps well, is there a corner that can't be dug down?

You may not study hard, but you must not review well.

37. I learned a sentence from a friend: I'll give you ten words-how far the fuck is it, how far the fuck is it ~ I remember the first time he said this sentence to a group of us, I saw everyone below posting ten words. ...

The best way to deal with those who use silence to cover up their ignorance is to deal with a man as he deals with you.

40, even believe in advertisements, you are stupid to read!

4 1. There are two ways to pollute a place: garbage or money!

42. The reason of constipation is that the gravity of the earth is too small.

I don't know whether I went to college or the college fucked me.

45. Most people only do three things in their life: deceive themselves, deceive others and be bullied.

49. It's easy to quit smoking, but it's too difficult to quit you!

50, to mix in the rivers and lakes, it is best to be single! !

53. For the rich, everything is fine if it ends well.

54. What is love in the world? Everything has its vanquisher.

56. I am Jesus, his son, Coconut ~!

57. University is learning!

60, life can be done, life can also be exquisite!

6 1, other people's money and wealth are all things other than me.

63. I am the most honest person. Never lie. Except this sentence.

64. Don't say that others are mentally ill. The premise of having a brain is that you must have a brain.

65. I've been really busy recently, and it's hard to guarantee even one 16 hours' sleep!

Don't wash it, but for the mud, this broken car would have fallen apart a long time ago.

67. Lingling, Lingling, and another ice cream.

68, the cold of three friends-hot pot, cabbage, hot bed.

69. I didn't mean to be different, how can I have outstanding taste!

7 1, why do you need to sleep for a long time when you are alive and sleep when you are dead?

72. I hope that one day I can double-click my wallet with my mouse, then select a 100 yuan, hold down "CTRL-C" and then hold down "CTRL-V".

73, women are pleasing to themselves, and men are pleasing to themselves!

75, bald donkey, dare to rob the teacher with being original?

77. I said to the buddy sitting next to me ~ ~ You are only one step away from genius.

78. It is gold, which will always be spent; This is a mirror, it always reflects light …

80. If I give you a pair of wings, you should be braised …

Mean is a universal truth, and you and I are just one of them.

83. It is said that men become bad when they have money. I have been a good person for more than 20 years!

84, face first, unable to return to heaven.

86. Facing difficulties: You are not afraid of death, but are you still afraid of living? Facing danger: are you not afraid of life, but also of death?

87, high is high, it is a straw bag; Short is short and can stand stepping on; Being thin means being thin and muscular.

88. Only women and English are sad, only wives and jobs are hard to find!

89. There are three kinds of things that hurt people: annoyance, quarrel and empty wallet. The most hurtful thing is an empty wallet.

9 1, when arguing with others, take a step back; When chasing a girlfriend, take a step back and go to an empty building.

94, god wants to make people perish, must first make it crazy; God wants people to be crazy. He wants them to buy a house first.

95. When the sky falls, you hug me, hehe. ...

96. The pull ring of cans loves cans, but the cans are filled with coke!

97. Don't be the next one, just be the first one.

100, after studying for more than ten years, it is better to mix in kindergarten!

1. The kid next door finally vowed to lose weight-at the graduation job fair, someone said to him, "Sorry, buddy, you blocked my cell phone signal."

Lei Feng did a good deed without leaving a name, but everything was recorded in his diary.

4. I skipped classes too much. I wanted to go to class yesterday. Seeing the professor, the professor was surprised and said, I haven't seen you for so long, and I have grown so big.

Every time I miss a girl, I put a brick on the ground, so there is the Great Wall.

7. Yuanyang played in the water and was drowned by his mother; Fly with me, you fucking fell dead.

8. Pure, fictional, chaotic and beautiful.

9. Happiness is scratching when it itches. Unfortunately, this means it's itchy, but it can't be scratched. More unfortunately, the soul and body have not felt that itch for a long time.

10. Although I can't be a descendant of the rich, I must be an ancestor of the rich.

1 1. God didn't give me much responsibility, but it still made my heart ache and my bones and muscles tired.

12. Who held my hand and made me crazy for half my life; Who, kiss my eyes, cover my half-life displacement.

13. The crowd searched for her for thousands of Baidu, and suddenly looking back, that person still dismissed me.

15. What is happiness? Happiness is that cats eat fish, dogs eat meat, and Altman beats small monsters.

16. Are you a dung ball that was once rolled by a small low-energy dog, a cockroach that was trampled flat, and adopted by a mentally retarded master in Shaolin Temple who is known as a pear flower crushing a begonia?

17. I like the first half of your mother's short story. That's all for today. Please continue to enjoy it at the same time tomorrow. I like the second half of your mother. ...

18. Advertisement on the subway: Is it crowded? Buy a car! Advertisements in taxis: Are they blocked? Take the subway!

19. I received a mobile phone message. There is a monkey in the zoo, so ugly that everyone vomits. One day I went there and I threw up. One day you went there and the monkey threw up.