I am closest to my true self when I am insomnia.

I can't sleep tonight, and I dare not sleep for no reason. My mind is full of bad scenes, similar to seeing bad things in the past and having a nervous breakdown. Knowing it's time to go to bed, my eyes are sleepy, but my brain is still awake.

Half asleep and half awake, I woke up completely at one o'clock in the morning, and suddenly I wanted to go to the QQ space message board to have a look at my traces.

About friends and news

It turns out that many people have always been so sympathetic, I don't know when they started drifting away, and even need permission to visit each other's space, which is puzzling. On reflection, I have my own reasons. I was more or less ungrateful at school; Limited by the triviality of daily necessities, soy sauce, vinegar and tea after work, I have no time and energy to manage many relationships.

I have read such a sentence, a person's interpersonal circle is unchanged. If you know some people well, you will alienate some people. People are gone, and the data remains the same.

Even friends who haven't contacted for a long time before, from time to time, leave messages to pretend to be melodramatic, and the relationship can be maintained very well. Now, I won't leave you without news. Some relationships that are not usually maintained will fade away, and I will slowly walk out of my space, circle of friends and life, leaving only the person who once told you that he was your friend, and this person once had many languages with you. ...

About work and choice

I was once only one step away from civil servants and university teachers, but I finally chose the road I wanted to take at that time and gave up opportunities that many people, including myself, could not get.

I majored in Burmese as an undergraduate. In the year of graduation, as a "poor student" with introverted personality, social phobia and poor oral English, I was always worried that I could not find a job, so I chose to take the postgraduate entrance examination. However, because of the fierce competition, I temporarily decided to take the exam and prepare to make up the points, so I failed in the postgraduate entrance examination.

I accidentally met a lovelorn in college, and suddenly I had the psychology of going out to suffer. At that time, there happened to be a unit recruiting people in Zhejiang. Miss HR said: "This job is to be able to bear hardships." Because of this, I am very eager to get this opportunity.

During the waiting period, I prepared for the exam with my friends in Honghe College and went to Honghe in the spirit of accompanying the exam and going out to play. The questions are basically open-ended, such as how to discipline students when you are a class teacher, and I will answer them according to my own ideas. I didn't expect to get into the interview, but I gave up.

Fortunately, I finally signed a company in Zhejiang and went to the company I wanted to go to at that time. Miss HR is honest, it's really hard. Although it is said that we should recruit reserve cadres and stay in Myanmar for a long time, I don't know how long we will study in this department because the Myanmar factory has not been built yet. The salary was low and bitter, the working environment was not good, and the work content was disliked. After a year, I resigned.

That year, I turned white as I wished, but I had a face of acne. A little more than two thousand yuan a month was used to treat acne. I also want to go out of the province, and the time to go abroad is coming, but the boring work makes me suffer day by day, followed by collapse and more and more intense yearning for my loved ones. As a result, I worked hard but had no money, and my face was full of tears, so I couldn't go abroad to be a rich woman. Of course, there is a bright side. The first time I experienced the beating of society, I grew up a lot, I was strong and optimistic!

After resigning, I want to take the accounting certificate and take the postgraduate exam. After all, I fell in both places and always wanted to "revenge". In addition, because I was too headstrong before and felt sorry for my parents, I began to prepare for the civil service exam under my father's strong expectation during my unemployment, but I didn't want to go for an interview. By the time the written test results came out, I had entered my current unit, the media industry, and did professional-related work, giving up the opportunity to be a civil servant.

After a few years, the work became more and more difficult, and I wanted to escape. I find it better to be an "iron rice bowl". Year after year, I began to prepare for the civil service exam, but I have lost my perseverance and patience in those years and all ended in failure. After I gave birth to the boss on 20 19, I was exhausted and found the exam more difficult, so I gave up this road. In the future, the big probability is to try to keep up with the trend and work in the current unit for a lifetime. Maybe one day I suddenly want to explore other possibilities, but I can't be reckless anymore!

About love and marriage

In a person's life, he will like many people, talk about love several times, and finally choose to spend his life with one person.

After being admitted to the university, I finally got rid of my parents' control and puppy love. I just want to talk about a love affair in Bai Shou. It was not until the third year of high school that I began to have a serious long-distance relationship. However, you have exhausted your sincerity, and people are just going through the motions. After breaking up, you were sad, and he turned and hugged someone else. You broke up badly, and you didn't even have friends.

Failed love makes people grow. After this time, you seem to be a different person, no longer the sensitive and dreamy Pisces, but a lot more real. Also this time, let your future love and marriage be more tangible and less illusory. In the days to come, when you meet love again, you know that the only person who can give you a sense of security will always be yourself.

In 20 14, I went to Zhejiang alone. There is a person who is always by your side. When you are confused, he will wake you up and get to know the real you. At that time, you wanted to be friends with him for life, because friends would not break up, so you had no other ideas.

20 15, resigned and returned to his hometown. When you meet him again, you suddenly find that something has changed, and you suddenly can't accept that he will be with other girls, so you summon up courage to play a "joke" with him and then get together. It was May 25th.

From 2005 to 20 15, you met 10; From 20 10 to 20 15, you have been good friends for five years. You know his emotional experience, and he knows you. I thought about whether to be together halfway, but I always felt something was wrong.

Not long together, he went to work in other provinces, and you stayed in this province. After meeting, we can't break up peacefully in one place, and we are still friends. In the past, you were very clingy and wanted to be together every day, thinking about things and feeling insecure. This time, you are very sensible. You once wrote in your diary, "Love when you can, and part when you can't". When we are together, we stay together. When we are not together, we live our own lives. You won't think about it, and you won't be swayed by considerations of gain and loss. Maybe that's why you can go far.

In September of that year, he resigned from Xiamen and lived together. The first thing he did was to buy pots and pans and start the life of rice, oil, salt and vinegar tea. Whoever buys food and cooks early after work will wait for each other. Although life is not rich and I can't afford broadband for a long time, I am very satisfied. He will wash dishes together after dinner, go out for a walk together, go to the book mall together on weekends, read books together at home ... he will clean and wash clothes with you. If he doesn't rest on weekends, you can go to him by car, find a bookstore to choose books, and wait for him to go home from work after dinner. On valentine's day, he will remember to come back and eat hot pot with you ... life is ordinary, but he always thinks that it is the happiest time for two people.

20 17 years, you got married. In the same year, you had a minor operation and he got a new job. You have a small flower named "Zhajing". In 20 19, you had your first child, a boy named Yuan Yuan. In 2020, you bought a house. Although it is a small house, you have a nest of your own in this city. In 2022, your second baby was born, a girl, with both children.

All the way up to now, there have been sweet quarrels, feelings, regrets and many impulses to divorce. Your bad temper, coupled with my strange temper, will inevitably lead to quarrels between us in the future, so let's go on. Love, how much is left, will be worn away by trivial things in life, who knows?

I hope we can go all our lives and always have love; I hope that the days are getting better and better and I can change to a big house; I hope that the two babies will be safe and healthy and grow up happily together; I hope our tea shop business is getting better and better, and the work is smooth and smooth; I hope we can all be better ourselves, study hard to keep up with the trend ... it's hard to fall in love, it's harder to stay together, and cherish it. Come on!