The person I admire most is neither beautiful nor clever.

This kind of person is not the most beautiful or the smartest, but she appears beside you, and your laziness and cowardice are hidden in this moment.

1

I used to be jealous of someone, and no one knew about it.

The night before I went to college, I was uneasy and lying in bed. I was not outstanding since I was a child. I am ordinary and careless, but I am not willing to be ordinary. I have a sense of pride in my bones. At that time, there were several excellent people in each class, and their light made me jealous. For me, what is worse than watching others admire the stars and the moon is jealousy itself.

I don't want to admit that I am jealous. Zhou has a book called "I love therefore I am", in which he said rudely that jealousy is the quality of the weak.

What I didn't expect was that during the four years of college, the only girl who made me feel this emotion strongly was an ordinary girl who was not beautiful or smart.

2

That girl is my friend.

She looks ordinary, although she has some unique amorous feelings and lovely personality, but she is far from a beauty and her IQ is not outstanding. She didn't take the exam from the fourth grade to the last year of college. She is really not a talent.

When I first met her, I thought she was plain in all aspects, except that she was a little frank and honest, stood out from the crowd, laughed and laughed with boys like a silly girl, and was as cool as boys. It seems that she doesn't want to find someone from the department.

We spent a happy freshman year, eating, drinking and having fun, heartless, not ashamed of wasting time, and not ashamed of being mediocre.

Shameless, and of course a teenager.

But when I was a sophomore, I was pushed away by age, especially when I looked at the ignorant faces of freshmen when they entered school, I felt a sense of crisis. I laughed and called them "primary school girls" to take advantage of them and look back at myself. Apart from being one year older and three pounds fatter, there is no achievement or advantage.

Suddenly, I couldn't hold on to my three-foot thick face, and I was a little ashamed.

"Let's go and find something to do."

She said. Of course I agree, showing a fearless look, but in fact I have already played a small drum and retreated timidly.

I am the kind of person who needs motivation to move forward. I always muddle along until I have to. Obviously, you can enjoy the living expenses at home and be a hedonist. Why do you have to experience the pain of being picked by HR in advance? I can't take that step when there is still a way out.

three

But she was more serious than I expected. The next day, she found a bunch of part-time flyers, and I rejected them.

"This kind of leaflet is deceptive, you believe it."

But in fact, I know, I'm just looking for various reasons to hit her and want her to give up this idea.

I refuse to make progress, so I stubbornly hope that she can stay with me. Whenever she puts forward a new job, my timidity always reminds me of all kinds of cold water and throws it all over her.

"Reporter, this is our professional counterpart."

"The school press release hasn't been written yet, and no one has paid you to write it."

"Graphic design, I like this."

"Which one would you use PS, AI and ID? What people want is a successful hand, not a paid apprentice. "

Finally, when she found a part-time job in WeChat operation on the recruitment website, I was still sour.

"You don't understand this. Why did you go?"

She still went, and the monthly salary was 1500, which was not high, but she always bought snacks generously and gave herself a dress every month. I looked at it coldly and thought, I don't lack the money.

But the jealousy in my heart has spread wildly. We started from the same place. Now that she has started, I am still in the same place. Her aggressive and eager eyes, like a sharp knife, reflected my timidity and stabbed me all over.

four

Since then, my relationship has been a little distant. On the one hand, she is very busy. As a newcomer to the official WeChat account, it always takes her a lot of time to send a tweet, so naturally there is not much leisure to accompany me shopping.

Most importantly, every time I see her busy, I feel ashamed. She is like a chubby clam, rushing around to learn new things, but emitting a vibrant and attractive luster. And I lie in bed and read novels every day. When I am hungry, I can say that my clothes are reaching for food, but I am as pale and tasteless as shrimp.

Of course, her work is not always smooth sailing.

One afternoon, she came back and threw herself on the bed and cried. The leader disliked her poor activities, too many prizes, too late delivery and little purchasing power, and the money was wasted in Shui Piao. As a college student, she has never experienced such a battle, and she is afraid that her salary will not be paid, so she can only shed tears.

I comforted her, nothing more than the person who helped her pass the buck and kept talking about it. I even feel a little refreshed-I finally found evidence for the rationality of my cowardice. This is not a good job, so be it.

Worse than not taking a step, you will start to hate other people's behavior and even become the most annoying person.

Palace empresses Zhen Xuan said to AnLingRong:

No matter how cold it is, you can't warm yourself with other people's blood.

By that time, I had slipped into the abyss. In order to hide my cowardice, I hope everyone around me will stop like me. Because I am in the mud, I want to pull people ashore together.

Really ugly.

five

Recently, there is a popular saying on the Internet that looks like chicken soup. It makes sense to taste this soup carefully.

She used to be my nobleman, but I was still awake at that time. I imprisoned myself in a cage and resisted her change in the most negative way. Do you want to ask me if I regret it?

Of course I regret it.

But as the years passed, the past never came again. Now we are still friends. We mentioned the past and smiled at each other. She doesn't know the surging rivers and seas in my heart, but I can finally understand her mood at that time.

I still feel ashamed to think of these things now.

During those days, I couldn't tell her my heart, not when she found her first part-time job, not when she was internship in the studio, and she went further and further, while I was lying on the bed in the dormitory, chasing Korean dramas, playing games and looking at her with self-righteous but mean eyes to comfort myself.

And all this is because of my despicable jealousy. It makes me unable to see clearly what is good and what is bad, just to defend my so-called "self-esteem" and shrink myself into a shell.

I certainly missed the opportunity to walk with her, but I believe that many people are facing such an opportunity.

When the people around you start to leave the comfort zone of the past and rush to the wider world, do you want to go on the road bravely or bury your head in the sand as an ostrich? This is actually a very simple question.

Ask yourself after three years, will you regret it? If so, don't be shy, don't think about what will happen if you fail, catch up with her and go with her.