How to get out of psychological dilemma

How to get out of psychological difficulties

In a person's life, there will always be times when we encounter psychological difficulties. How should we get out of psychological difficulties at this time? Below I have compiled how to get out of psychological difficulties. Dilemma related content.

Avoidance method

When a person falls into a psychological dilemma, the first and easiest thing to do is the avoidance method. Avoid and avoid external stimuli that cause psychological difficulties. In psychological difficulties, the human brain often forms a strong excitement center and avoids relevant external stimuli, which can make this excitement center give way to a new excitement center caused by other stimuli. The center of excitement has been transferred, and the psychological dilemma is freed. "If the ears are not listening, the mind is not troubled", this is exactly what is said. For example, if trivial matters at home make you "angry" or "depressed", go to work; terminally ill people may wish to go to the hospital to visit dying patients; faced with the deep trouble of a hopeless love relationship, use a great wisdom to Da Yong comes to escape. This is an effective psychological self-rescue and an objective avoidance method. In addition, the subjective avoidance method can also be adopted, that is, the potential mechanism of human instinct is strengthened through subjectivity, and efforts are made to forget or suppress one's unpleasant experiences. To subjectively shift the center of excitement, attention shifting is the simplest and easiest method of subjective avoidance. When you are in pain and depression, concentrate on doing something meaningful and you will naturally avoid psychological difficulties.

Change of perspective method

Not any objective reality can be escaped. Sometimes, if the same reality or situation is viewed from one angle, it may cause negative emotional experiences and lead to psychological difficulties; but when viewed from another angle, positive meanings can be found, thereby transforming negative emotions into positive emotions. According to legend, an old lady had two sons: the eldest son sold umbrellas, and the second son sold salt. The old lady is worried about her two sons almost every day. What are you worried about? Every time it’s sunny, the old lady says: It’s hard to sell umbrellas on such a sunny day. So I was worried about my eldest son. Every cloudy day, the old lady murmurs: How can I dry the salt when it rains on this cloudy day? Then she worries about her second son. The old lady suffered from worries that came and went, and she became haggard day by day, and finally became ill. The two sons didn't know what to do. Fortunately, a wise man gave me some advice: "On a sunny day, it's easy to make salt, so you should be happy for your second son; on a cloudy day, it's easy to sell umbrellas, so you should be happy for your eldest son. If you change your perspective, you won't have to worry!" As expected, the old lady changed. Sadness is joy, and the mind is relaxed and the body is strong. It seems that when examining, thinking, and evaluating a certain objective reality situation, learning to change the perspective and look at the problem from another angle will often make the painful psychological dilemma disappear.

Self-comfort method

Aesop’s fable says that if a fox cannot eat grapes, he says the grapes are sour; if he can only get lemons, he says the lemons are sweet, so Then I won't feel distressed. Psychology has borrowed this term to explain the phenomenon of facts with some "rationalization" reasons and turn malignant stimuli into benign stimuli in order to seek psychological self-comfort, which is called the "sour grapes and sweet lemons" psychology. Yes, the so-called reasons in self-comfort are just "self-justification", but it does have the effect of maintaining psychological balance and achieving psychological self-help. The evaluation of professional titles in the unit cannot be done by each person. It is not worth it if you don't think about it. If you don't get the evaluation this time, there will be another time. Besides, you can still be competent without a professional title. If you have real achievements, your price will not be reduced. Why risk your life for a false name? Whether your lovers break up or marry such a ruthless and unjust person, you may be in bad luck. If you say "goodbye" to her early, wouldn't you avoid future troubles? If you lose two hundred yuan, just treat it as a waste. The year-end bonus has not been paid, not to mention "removing wealth and avoiding disasters". Isn't it a great blessing for the whole family to be safe?

Isn't this a "spiritual victory method"? Exactly. The method of spiritual victory should not be underestimated. There are some unsatisfactory things out there. If it can be changed, of course you should work hard for the good. If it is a foregone conclusion and irreversible, you should comfort yourself, accept yourself, and admit the reality. This is better than being dejected. , I am so miserable that I don’t know how many times it would be better.

Humor method

Humor method is one of the most helpful self-rescue strategies for relieving psychological difficulties. It is said that the great philosopher Socrates had a wife with a very bad temper. One day, Socrates was talking to a guest. His wife suddenly ran in and made a fuss, and poured water from the basin onto Socrates. How embarrassing is the situation? This is unbearable for any man with a little blood, but Socrates smiled and said: "I knew that after the thunder, there would be heavy rain." After explaining his embarrassment, he My wife couldn't help laughing either.

In the middle of a speech by British Prime Minister Wilson, someone in the audience shouted: "Shit! Rubbish!" This was clearly an accusation against the content of his speech. But Wilson, a capable politician, smiled and pretended to be confused: "Shit? Trash! Public health? Gentlemen, I am going to talk about this social issue right away." In this way, he not only did not get into trouble , but won a round of applause.

Laughter is a mental disinfectant, and humor is a ladder to get out of psychological difficulties. When there are setbacks in career and life, when there is a deadlock in communication, humorous behavior and humorous language can often turn difficulties and embarrassments into relaxed and natural situations, thereby relaxing mental tension, relaxing the atmosphere, releasing emotions, and alleviating anxiety. Get out of trouble.

Low-key method

People instinctively will continue to increase their life expectations. This naturally has its positive significance. It is a psychological driving force for personal progress and social progress. However, "things must be reversed at the extreme" and treating life with unrealistically high expectations may be the psychological root of some people who spend their precious time in a depressed and resentful psychological dilemma every day and cannot enjoy the joy and happiness of life throughout their lives. The higher the expectations, the greater the psychological emotional conflict. This is a conclusion of social psychology.

When thinking about "officials", when it comes to "money", and when it comes to "material" desires, lower your expectations; the same should be true for your career. Although people have always praised "aim high", but what is society without all living beings? Although "a soldier who doesn't want to be a general is not a good soldier" has always been appreciated, but without small soldiers to form an army, how can we be a general? There is only one sun in the sky , there is only one Mount Everest on earth. Although the stars are not as dazzling as the sun, they are still shining brightly; although the mountains are not as tall as Mount Everest, they are still vigorous and upward. "Without the fragrance of flowers and the height of trees, I am just a grass that no one knows..." If I am not strong, who will show my weakness? With the realm of grass, I say goodbye to psychological difficulties.

Catharsis method

Due to the influence of social culture, people seem to give more recognition to suppressing their own emotions. And there is more negativity to venting one's emotions. In fact, this goes against psychological science. Psychology believes that when a person is frustrated, he uses his willpower to suppress his emotions and behaves as if he is talking and laughing normally. Although this approach can reduce anxiety, it can only relieve superficial tension, but it cannot suppress the inner emotional turmoil. Not only cannot it solve the problem, it will also fall into a deeper psychological dilemma and cause greater physical and mental harm. If anger is suppressed, it is like a time bomb, always in danger of destroying oneself or others; if grief is suppressed and not vented with tears, it will not only endanger physical and mental health, but may even lead to death. Just as only a heavy rain can refresh the air in a sultry summer and clear the sky, only by venting the psychological pressure in a difficult situation can we gain a clear psychological sky.

Based on social effects, catharsis can be either reasonable or unreasonable. People who are good at psychological self-rescue always choose reasonable ways to vent their inner pain: first, rational and rational venting. For example, you can tell your grievances and pain to your closest relatives and friends, or you can talk to yourself and resort to words to let the bitterness in your heart flow out. The second is reasonable emotional catharsis. It is said that a certain American president had a sandbox filled with fine sand in his office to vent his anger when necessary. This is really a smart move. We might as well follow this method, cry loudly, scream loudly, and let our anger burst out on appropriate occasions. This is what the wise and the strong do. Because this is the best self-rescue strategy for immediate situations of extreme psychological distress.

Compensation Law

"No one is perfect." A person will inevitably have some defects in life or psychology, which will affect the realization of a certain goal. People will adopt various methods to compensate for this defect in order to reduce and eliminate psychological distress. This is called compensation in psychology. One type of compensation is to replace the failed goal with another goal. For example, the famous Japanese conductor Seiji Ozawa originally specialized in piano. He was very distressed when he broke his hand and affected the sensitivity of his fingers. Later, he did not hesitate to change to conduct and became famous in one fell swoop, thus getting rid of his psychological dilemma. Another type of compensation is to rely on new efforts in the hope that a certain weakness can be remedied and turned into a strong one to achieve the original goal. The Greek politician Deisesiges suffered from weak pronunciation and a mild stutter, which prevented him from speaking. He determined to practice his eloquence, put pebbles in his mouth to practice speaking, and shouted loudly in front of the sea.

In the end, his language disadvantage was remedied and he became a famous speaker, and his inner tension and anxiety were naturally eliminated.

Facing some of your own weaknesses or shortcomings, if you just sigh and feel helpless, you will only taste bitterness. The active countermeasure is to find another way to truly get out of the psychological dilemma. “What you lose is what you gain,” is the best explanation of this road to self-rescue.

Sublimation method

The literary giant Goethe suffered from the pain of broken love when he was young and attempted suicide several times. But he finally used his shattered feelings as material, got inspiration from the ashes of burned love, and wrote the famous book that shocked the world - "The Sorrows of Young Werther". It is true that "a blessing in disguise is a blessing in disguise."

Difficulties and setbacks are definitely not what people pray for, because they bring psychological depression and anxiety to people. Those who are good at psychological self-rescue can sublimate this emotion into a kind of strength, leading it in a direction that is beneficial to themselves, others, and society. When they obtain the satisfaction of success, they also eliminate psychological depression and anxiety and achieve positive results. Mental balance. The ancient kings Wen Wang, Zhong Ni, Qu Yuan, Zuo Qiu, Sun Tzu, Bu Wei, Han Fei, Sima Qian, etc. are praised by all generations because they saved themselves by sublimation in catastrophic psychological dilemmas and created strong men. image. When people encounter setbacks, it will not help to hold their breath and feel depressed, or to be depressed and despairing. It is even worse to engage in anti-social retaliatory behavior. This is all about punishing yourself for the mistakes of others. The correct attitude is: turn setbacks and failures into motivation, rise from psychological difficulties, and become a strong person in life.

Newcomers in the workplace get out of their psychological dilemma

After the peak recruitment season, a group of newcomers in the workplace have started to work. Faced with the role change from students to "social workers", some newcomers in the workplace have not yet "graduated" psychologically. They are either overly nervous or too sharp. Most of them are anxious about their career prospects... How should they actively adjust their mentality? ?

Too much pressure, stuttering when seeing the boss

Xiao Jiannan, 23 years old, occupation: None

When I graduated last year, I unexpectedly got a position as an online editor , worked very hard, but in the end still lost his job. The reason is that as soon as I saw the leader, my heart beat faster inexplicably, my tongue seemed to have something wrong, and I stammered when I spoke. At work, due to excessive tension, I often make inexplicable mistakes at critical moments. Later, when I looked for a job, I always failed in interviews. When I see the interviewer, my mind goes blank, my palms sweat with nervousness, and I often answer questions incorrectly...

Expert comments: Everyone has nervousness, and the severity is different. The reasons are lack of confidence in one's own abilities and "fear" of strangers (environment). There are two ways to eliminate this negative emotion:

1. Strive to improve your own abilities to enhance your self-confidence;

2. Communicate more with others, try to transfer negative emotions, and improve your communication skills . If none of the above methods work, you should see a psychologist and receive professional treatment and help.

She is too sharp and becomes a thorn in the side of her colleagues

Yuntong, female, 22 years old, occupation: clerk

I am a confident girl. From the moment I entered the company, I set my sights on the position of office director, so I always tried my best to express myself: actively making suggestions for the company's development; proposing office rectification plans to the general manager; taking the initiative to take over the work of colleagues... leadership I received more and more praises, and at the same time, my colleagues looked at me more and more strangely. Sometimes, everyone is chatting together, and as soon as I get close to them, they disperse...

Expert comments: There is nothing wrong with showing off. Being too sharp and sharp on the one hand reflects their subconscious lack of self-confidence and the need to increase their sense of self-worth through the affirmation of others; on the other hand, "shineing out" too early and excessively will make people around them feel threatened and subconsciously You become an "imaginary enemy". Smart people should know how to restrain their sharp edges when necessary and avoid becoming the "target" of others.

With a restless heart, job-hopping has become a habit.

Yuhan, male, 24 years old. Occupation: graphic design.

After working for two years, I changed seven jobs. Every time I changed jobs, I secretly made up my mind: This would be my last job-hopping.

But it often doesn’t take long for my heart to start to stir again: sometimes it’s because the recruitment advertisements from other companies are too tempting; sometimes it’s because I see some “salary-showing” posts on the Internet and I feel psychologically unbalanced; sometimes I feel that the existing work environment is too Depressed... I don't want to be a flea in the workplace, but I just can't control my restless heart...

Expert comments: Every "thousand-mile horse" is eager to meet a "bo Le" who appreciates him. . This stems from a strong desire to realize one's own value. Some job seekers have too high a self-positioning and frequently blindly change jobs, reflecting their inner instability, which may be related to their personal growth process. You must know that growing from a newcomer in the workplace to an elite in the industry requires time and endurance. Please think twice before "jumping".

How do people with withdrawn personalities get out of psychological difficulties

Being withdrawn is what we often call unsociable, which refers to the psychological state of being unable to maintain normal relationships with others and often living in isolation. It accounts for about 5% to 8% of middle school students. Unsociable people generally have an introverted personality, which is mainly manifested in their reluctance to contact others and their indifference to others. Often feel bored, despised or wary of the people around them. People with this personality are highly suspicious and like to work alone, but they are inevitably troubled by isolation, loneliness and emptiness. Therefore, isolation is very harmful to the physical and mental health of middle school students. Lonely people lack joy and friendship among classmates and friends, and their need for communication cannot be satisfied. They are depressed, depressed, and depressed. They cannot feel the warmth of the world, cannot see the beauty of life, and are prone to depression, decadence, and dissatisfaction. They are gregarious, lack the support of the group, are worried, and prone to fear. This kind of negative emotion is troubled for a long time, which not only affects learning, but also damages the body.

The withdrawn character is generally caused by the lack of necessary social communication skills and methods, and by being rejected or attacked in interpersonal interactions, such as ridicule, complaints, and reprimands, and when the autonomy is harmed, the person will Close yourself up. But the less you have contact with others, the less your social communication skills will be exercised, and the result will be more lonely. So how to overcome loneliness?

1. Correctly evaluate and understand yourself and others. On the one hand, we must correctly understand the dangers of isolation, open our closed hearts, pursue the joy of life, and get rid of the entanglement of isolation; on the other hand, we must correctly understand others and ourselves, and strive to find our own strengths. Lonely people generally fail to understand themselves correctly. Some people believe that they are worse than others, always thinking about their own worries and strengths, and only see the shortcomings and shortcomings of others. They are pretentious and think that they are not worthy of interacting with others; some tend to have low self-esteem and always think that they are inferior to others. Afraid of being ridiculed, ridiculed, or rejected by others, one wraps oneself tightly to protect one's fragile self-esteem. Both types of people need to understand others and themselves correctly, exchange ideas and feelings with others more, and enjoy the friendship and warmth among friends.

2. Learn communication skills and optimize your personality. You can read some books about communication and learn communication skills. At the same time, participate in more legitimate and good social activities, and gradually develop your cheerful personality during the activities. You must dare to interact with others, listen to other people's opinions humbly, and at the same time have the desire to become friends with anyone. In this way, you will gain something from every interaction, enrich your knowledge and experience, correct cognitive deviations, gain friendship, and be happy physically and mentally. Then you will rebuild your image in everyone's mind. If things go on like this, you will like to interact with each other. Grouped together and became easy-going. You can start by making a friend with a cheerful personality and noble interests, learn from him in everything, and ask him to support you.

3. Cultivate self-confidence. Self-confidence is the correct understanding and grasp of oneself. It is recommended that you try the following methods to improve your self-confidence:

　① Re-examine yourself. Have you ever tried to list your strengths and weaknesses on the left side of a piece of paper, and your weaknesses and shortcomings on the right side, without thinking, and then sort them into categories. At this time, you will definitely find that you have so many strengths that you have not paid much attention to at ordinary times, and the number of advantages far exceeds the number of shortcomings.

② Motivate yourself in a timely manner. In the JS face-to-face class, did the teacher ask each student to stand up and say a self-motivating sentence loudly? This is actually to improve the students' self-confidence. Rousseau once said: "I am no better than others, but I am who I am." I am very inspired by this sentence. When I am indeed not as good as others, I will say to myself: "I will work hard to train myself and embark on my own path to success.

"When I encounter difficulties or setbacks, I will say to myself: "As long as I try my best, I won't be ashamed of myself; with this experience, I will do better next time. ”

③ You should give up when necessary. You should give up unnecessary comparisons with others, unrealistic goals, and 100% perfectionistic standards. Use the “28/20 rule” to measure your own Ability, that is, you should feel happy and satisfied if you can do eight out of ten things.

④ Cultivate a certain interest among your strengths, expertise, and interests (when you first start, the same thing). It is enough) to specially cultivate and develop it to become your own expertise. Although you are not an expert yet, in a small circle, when it comes to something, everyone recognizes that it is you. The expertise does not have to be too difficult. Playing the piano and Qigong healing are so profound and inscrutable, it can be as simple as making cakes, cutting hair, swimming, watching stars, memorizing the Chinese and English titles of movies... it can be anything. With expertise, you will have the opportunity to be the protagonist, be the protagonist, Naturally, you are in high spirits!

⑤ Identify 3 things you can do successfully every day. Don’t think of “success” as something as big as landing on the moon. Success can be a smooth appointment with the doctor. The treatment time is exceeded, the traffic to work is smooth, there is no error in the documents and files processed, etc. Daily life work can be divided into "successes" and "frustrations". How can I do at least 3 things smoothly in a day? How can you say "nothing is achieved" or "nothing is good"? Knowing that you can do things well is equal to the affirmation of your ability.

⑥. Count what you have done. There are always more things that people have not done yet than things that have been done. If you keep thinking about what you have not done, you will become more and more frustrated. People will feel that their abilities are low, ineffective, and very frustrated. However, the tasks that have been done are listed side by side, but it is a long list. Their abilities are really high. If they can think like this, their self-confidence will immediately increase.

4. Get rid of timidity in relationships: First of all, you must always think that you are an independent and upright person, and that you and others are equal in personality. , there is no need to "have never said anything". Everyone has their own advantages. Through communication, you can learn from each other's strengths and weaknesses. As long as you have confidence, you will be more courageous. Secondly, you must establish "confidence to win", that is, take the initiative. Talking to someone once, or taking the initiative to invite someone to do something, you can treat it as a victory. You can imply to yourself that if I take the initiative to interact with you, even if you ignore me, I will win. Exercise, once you often taste the taste of "victory", your timidity will gradually be overcome.

In short, you must face reality, take the initiative to interact with others, build confidence, and enhance self-esteem. In this way, you will realize that interacting with others is a common and normal thing. The more you are confident, the less timid you will be. ;