Why didn't Song Dandan marry Zhao Benshan?

Essay Partner Song Dandan: Among all Zhao Benshan's partners, Song Dandan should be the most famous one. Their cooperation in Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow, Planning, Xiao Cui Telling Things and Working by the Hour are also classics in the essay, and their cooperation is also a perfect match.

Before they cooperated, they had family affairs long ago.

Zhao Benshan's ex-wife is working alone.

Zhao Benshan married him at the bottom of his life and became a good wife and mother wholeheartedly. When Zhao Benshan's fame rose rapidly, the gap between husband and wife became wider and wider, and communication became more and more difficult, she left him silently with her children and sincerely wished him to find a new partner ... such a woman is Ge, Zhao Benshan's wife, an ordinary rural woman in Northeast China. In a blink of an eye 14 years have passed, and Ge has never been "hyped" by her famous ex-husband, nor has she said a bad word about her ex-husband, and disappeared from the "lively" media field of vision without a trace ... Where has she been and what has she done in the past 14 years?

Recently, our special correspondent finally learned that Ge has been single since 199 1 divorced Zhao Benshan and has been working hard! Is she forced to do this, or is she opinionated and self-reliant? What kind of enlightenment can it give divorced women? Next, please see an exclusive interview with our special correspondent-

Divorce into a "rich woman" and lead a "tight life" with children.

1960, Ge was born in Shilong Village, Lianhua Township, Kaiyuan County, Liaoning Province. Because her family was poor, she dropped out of school in the third grade of primary school. At the beginning of 1979, she was introduced to Zhao Benshan, a "poor boy" in Lianhua Village, Lianhua Township, and soon got married. After marriage, Zhao Benshan played erhu everywhere, while Ge did all the farm work and housework.

/kloc-at the end of 0/979, Ge gave birth to a smart and healthy daughter. However, in 1982, she gave birth to her son Zhao Tiedan. After birth, she was saddened to find that Tiedan was deaf and dumb, and suffered from rickets, emphysema and heart disease. Zhao Benshan swore to his wife: "I will work hard to make money, and I must cure my son's illness!" In order to realize his promise, Zhao Benshan began to work hard, stick to his true colors and make rapid progress. 1983 participated in the first rural drama rehearsal held in Liaoning province, and became an instant hit with the image of blind Zhang Zhi in Wrestling Three Strings.

1at the end of 984, Zhao Benshan was transferred to Tieling Folk Art Troupe. Soon, Ge moved into Tieling city with her husband and a pair of children, and lived in a spacious and bright house with three bedrooms and one living room. After entering the city, Ge became a housewife, washing and cooking every day, taking her son to the hospital to see a doctor, and keeping the house in good order. However, although life is much better than in the past, he finds it more and more difficult to communicate with his husband.

1987, Zhao Benshan successfully entered the CCTV Spring Festival Evening, which became popular all over China overnight. On the one hand, Ge Shuzhen was happy with her husband's success, on the other hand, she began to worry about the future of this marriage. In order to narrow the gap with her husband, the only thing she can do is to learn from the women in the city to draw eyebrows and dress herself up to win her husband's favor. However, these "minor repairs" cannot fundamentally solve the problem. The gap between her and Zhao Benshan is getting bigger and bigger, and the same language is getting less and less.

1991on may 7th, the marriage between ge and Zhao Benshan finally came to an end. At 4 o'clock in the afternoon, Zhao Benshan and her came to the Workers Street Office in Yinzhou District, Tieling City, and handled the divorce procedure calmly. After consultation, the two children were raised by Ge, and Zhao Benshan paid her and her two children a lump sum of 250,000 yuan for living expenses, support and medical expenses; At the same time, he also left all the Li Xia cars, three-bedroom commercial houses and indoor facilities to Ge ".

After the two broke up, Zhao Benshan said to Ge with tears, "I only have so much savings at hand. When I have money, I will take care of everything such as children going to school and getting married. If you need anything, just call me. I will always treat you as my sister. " Ge Shuzhen said sadly, "You are alone now. Be nice to yourself. Look forward to your finding the right one as soon as possible ... "

In the face of great family changes, Ge's children seem to have grown up overnight. My son Iron Egg consciously takes medicine every day, which is very "quiet" and basically doesn't matter. My daughter, Yu Fang, studies hard and always gets good grades. Ge Shu is very satisfied with this. Although she became one of the few "rich women" in Tieling at that time, the monthly bank interest alone exceeded the salary of the mayor of Tieling, but she thought that even if she was guarding a golden mountain, she would live on the mountain, so she set foot on a hard road to work regardless of her family's opposition.

Ge looks ordinary, introverted and has a low education, so it is difficult to find a job. After hitting the wall many times, she worked as a dishwasher in a new hot pot restaurant. Daughter Zhao Yufang hugged her mother's leg and said, "Mom, don't suffer. If dad knows, he will definitely object. "

Ge Shuzhen shook his head and said, "I can not only earn some money to supplement my family, but more importantly, I can learn to cook some special dishes from the chef." After that, she repeatedly told her daughter not to tell anyone about her part-time job. Since then, Zhao Yufang, who is smart and sensible, has taken the initiative to take care of his younger brother, washing clothes and cooking. In order to lighten mom's burden.

In the first month, Ge got the salary of 150 yuan. She was reluctant to spend a penny for herself, and spent all that money on buying medicine for her son.

One night in June, Ge came home after a whole day's work. Due to overwork and trance, he accidentally bumped into the wall and immediately fell to the ground, groaning in pain. Zhao Yufang, who was doing her homework in the house, heard her mother groan and ran to the living room to help her up. She stroked the big bag on her mother's forehead and couldn't help crying. While crying, she advised her mother never to go out to work again, but Ge Shuzhen comforted her daughter and said, "If I stay at home all the time, I will definitely have problems. Moreover, now that prices are rising rapidly, we can't eat all the old money, but also consider the future! "

1992, Zhao Benshan entered the marriage hall again, and Ma Lijuan, a female teacher of Liaoning Opera School, became his second wife. After learning the news, Ge Shuzhen was quite calm. After seeing the "new mother", daughter Zhao Yufang said to Ge Shuzhen, "Mom, dad is married again, so it's time for you to consider personal issues." Relatives and friends around her also advised her in this way. However, in order to raise children, Ge Shuzhen insisted on not considering remarriage.

After Zhao Benshan remarried, her acting career was in full swing. Maybe he feels guilty about his ex-wife He gives Ge tens of thousands of pocket money every year, but she is always reluctant to spend it indiscriminately, spending every penny where it should be spent.

"Strong mom" doesn't believe in life, and undercover is eager to be the boss.

/kloc-in the winter of 0/994, Zhao Tiedan died of a heart attack, and Ge He cried her eyes out. Zhao Benshan, who is rehearsing 1995 Spring Festival Gala in Beijing, immediately asked for leave to go back to his ex-wife's house to handle his son's funeral.

After the death of his son, Ge Shuzhen suddenly fell ill because of grief and had to stay at home for a while. As soon as her health returned to normal, she ignored her daughter's opposition and embarked on the road of working again-working as a clerk in an individual store in Tieling City. But she hasn't been working for a few months, because the store mainly went to other places to develop, transferred out, and immediately got off the job.

Since then, because Ge couldn't find a suitable job, he had to go to the wholesale market to buy some socks, hats and red ropes and set up a stall in the street. As it is the first time to do business, she can't attract customers at all, and she simply shouts at you. As a result, she stood down and earned only two or three yuan a day.

Later, in order to open the situation, she began to boldly shout: "Come and see, everyone, the things here are authentic and cheap!" "Shouting for several days in a row, ge's business began to improve, but was expelled by industry and commerce, urban management law enforcement personnel. She just hid in hiding like a guerrilla, and finally sold out all the inventory at home.

Unable to set up the stall, Ge had to go to a dumpling shop to do odd jobs, working 10 hours a day with a monthly salary of more than 200 yuan. One night, when she was cleaning the table, there happened to be a sketch performed by Zhao Benshan on TV. Several guests talked loudly and said, "It is not easy for us to have a Zhao Benshan in Tieling." "Yes, Lao Zhao's family used to be too poor to open a pot, but now the salted fish has turned over and is rich." At this moment, an elderly guest suddenly stood up and said, "Alas, Zhao Benshan is red and Ge is miserable. I don't know where she went after her divorce from Zhao Benshan. Is she married? "

Hearing this, Ge Shuzhen slipped and knocked over a set of plates. The shopkeeper rushed over and asked her what was wrong. She said covertly, "It's all my fault. I was distracted by Zhao Benshan's sketch just now." With that, she took money out of her pocket to compensate the owner for the loss. Unexpectedly, the shopkeeper said generously, "It doesn't matter. Zhao Benshan is a comedian who walked away from us. It's not wrong that you like him. " When I heard that, Ge didn't know whether to be happy or sad. On the way home from work that night, Ge Shuzhen couldn't help crying. She asked herself, "Zhao Benshan can go all the way to the morning. Why can't I? "

From then on, Ge began to work with peace of mind and spent all his hard-earned money on his daughter. 1September, 1999, my daughter was admitted to the English Department of Dalian International Studies University. Since then, Ge has become a "accompanying mother". After learning this situation, Zhao Benshan entrusted his friends in Dalian to spend nearly 200,000 yuan to buy a second-hand house for Ge He near Heishi Reef in Dalian.

After settling down his daughter, Ge, who has nothing to do, can't stay at home. He has to go out for a walk every day. Before long, she met He, a female shopkeeper who opened a small department store in the community. He and Ge from Heihe, Heilongjiang had a similar experience: after her husband had an affair, he kicked her out of the house. Since then, she has worked in restaurants and construction sites ... After many twists and turns, she finally became a small boss. Two unfortunate women with the same experience finally came to the same conclusion: "Women have to rely on themselves, and it is difficult for women raised by men to get ahead ..." This heart-to-heart talk with He touched Ge very much, and she had the idea of being a boss for the first time.

That day, after her daughter Zhao Yufang came back from school, Ge Shuzhen told her the idea. Zhao Yufang smiled and said, "Mom, don't be ridiculous. Not everyone can do business well. " Ge Shuzhen said, "Don't scare me. I'll do whatever I see."

After a period of observation, Ge Shuzhen felt that he was best suited to open a restaurant. Then, she began to look for a suitable hotel to transfer. After more than half a month's search, she finally found a restaurant that she wanted to transfer in a neighborhood near Dalian International Studies University. The owner of the restaurant is a kind person. When he learned that Ge had never opened a restaurant, he suggested that she work in a restaurant first, learn from other people's experience, and then open a shop, so the risk would be less. Ge Shuzhen accepted his suggestion.

Subsequently, under the introduction of this kind boss, Zhao Benshan went to work in a seafood shop in the suburbs of Dalian. In the shop, she works hard every day, and always asks herself if I am the boss here, what should I do? Ge Shuzhen has been "undercover" for two or three years, and finally gradually found some "feelings" of being a boss.

Is kindness hard to make money? Northeast silly sister-in-law stood up again.

In June 2003, after graduating from Zhao Yufang University, I found a job as an office clerk in Dalian Public Security Bureau. Ge Shuzhen is glad that her daughter has finally gone to work. Having no worries, she decided to open a restaurant and try to be her own boss. She smiled and said to her daughter, "Xiao Fang, your father is the big boss of the company, and I want to be a small boss." You can't let your father look down on you. "

Zhao Yufang is against her mother's business, fearing that she will take risks, but Ge Shu Zhen has made up his mind. Zhao Yufang couldn't dissuade her, so she had to go.

It happened that there was a restaurant called "Delicious" near the community where they lived, and it had to be transferred because of poor management. Ge immediately bought the loss-making shop for 20 thousand yuan. After that, Ge Shuzhen did not change the name of the store, nor did he re-recruit the kitchen workers, so he opened it with the original team.

Ge learned that the original restaurant could not be opened because the boss was too stingy and the amount of food cooked was obviously insufficient. The guest was cheated once and never came back. So, she "prescribed the right medicine" and asked the chef to increase the weight and put more oil and salt. The dishes made in this way are delicious. In order to make the taste delicious, she also bought an old hen and ribs and boiled them into the original soup. In addition, Ge Shuzhen asked people to write such a promise in the store: "Northeasters are straight, Northeasters are cool, and the dishes cooked by Northeasters are really fragrant." She also took out the northeast kimchi at home and gave it to the guests for free.

One day, the chef cooked a plate of fried pork with potatoes for the guests. The waiter was about to serve when Ge stopped him: "Why can't I see shredded pork?" The chef told her that fried pork with potatoes has always been like this. She said, "No! There must be a lot of shredded pork in my shop. " The cook warned, "If you do this, you will lose money!" ! You have to put all the rent, water, electricity, taxes, fees and salaries into every dish so that you can make a profit. "Ge Shuzhen said," I am the boss, so you have to listen to me! " "At the request of Ge, the chef had to cook a new dish-fried shredded pork with shredded potatoes, and the number of shredded pork was equivalent to that of shredded potatoes. This dish makes the guests very satisfied. They said to Ge Shuzhen, "Your customers will definitely increase."

Sure enough, the number of guests in the delicious restaurant gradually increased, and the original two chefs and four waiters were as busy as a bee. Ge Shuzhen was so happy that he quickly hired three chefs and two waitresses. In order to upgrade the hotel, Ge Shuzhen not only bought disinfection cabinets, drinking fountains and other equipment, but also required all kitchen workers to wear plastic gloves and white overalls to operate. Although the cost increased obviously, Ge Shuzhen did not increase the price of vegetables or reduce the quantity of vegetables.

Half a year has passed, and the 50,000 yuan reserve fund prepared by Ge is running out. She feels strange: the hotel business is so good, where has all the money gone? After Zhao Yufang knew it, he went to the restaurant to help his mother count the goods and fix the property, and found that it was 6,543,800 yuan less. She helped her mother analyze: "Business is good, and many guests are good, but you can only sell 3 yuan money for two dollars. Can you not lose money? " Ge Shuzhen said: "Just starting to lose money does not mean that it will continue to lose money in the future." Zhao Yufang saw that her mother was so stubborn and shook her head with a wry smile. After that, Ge took out another 50,000 yuan and smashed it into the restaurant.

At the beginning of 2004, Benshan Art College of Liaoning University was established. Under the arrangement of Zhao Benshan, Zhao Yufang resigned from Dalian Public Security Bureau to work in Benshan Art College. Zhao Yufang asked her mother to go back to Shenyang with her, and advised her, "You can't make much money doing business from morning till night, so come back to Shenyang with me. I can come forward to find my father and let you find a decent job in Benshan Art College. " But Ge Shuzhen refused her daughter's kindness and insisted on opening the hotel.

Zhao Benshan learned from her daughter that Ge's hard work experience over the years was quite sad. He immediately took out 654.38+0.5 million and asked her to plug the hole. He also called Ge Shuzhen: "You'd better close the hotel. You are too kind to make money ... "Ge's attitude is very firm:" Kindness can't make money? I don't believe it! "

To the surprise of General Motors Shu Zhen, the booming "delicious" restaurants have annoyed the surrounding competitors. They began to dig corners and hired chefs from GM Shu Zhen at a higher price. This delicious restaurant had to close because there was no chef for some time. However, indomitable Ge Shu Zhen quickly followed the advice of some friends and started a fast food company with his existing employees. Her principle is: other fast food companies earn 1 yuan per box lunch, and "delicious" only earns 50 cents, in order to make small profits but quick turnover. She also specially hired a nutritionist to guide her, so that every box lunch is delicious, hygienic, fresh and nutritious, so that guests can eat well and enjoy themselves. Now, she sells more than 500 lunches every day.

Every Spring Festival, when Ge returns to her hometown to pay a New Year call, the villagers all suggest to her: "You should make use of Zhao Benshan's fame, so that you can make a lot of money." Ge was indifferent to this and said, "Zhao Benshan belongs to Zhao Benshan, and I belong to me. I can't smash his brand, and I can't smash mine. I don't have too high a request, just want my daughter to remember that she has a strong and unyielding mother ... "

At present, with the simplification of divorce procedures, the rapid transformation of society and the change of gender concept, modern people's eternal concept of marriage has faded, and the gap between husband and wife is growing, so divorce is becoming more and more common. In the face of marital changes, what should women who are the disadvantaged do? How to deal with the relationship with ex-husband, children and career? After some women divorced, everyone accused the man of being a playboy Chen Shimei, collecting evidence everywhere, complaining and discussing opinions, which made a fuss about it; Some women are stubborn, lack of fighting spirit, give up on themselves and live in sadness all day; Some women still wrangle with their ex-husbands after divorce, trying to save the shaky "mismatch marriage"; Some women treat the changes of life with a normal heart, look for a new focus of life, and realize their own life value through self-struggle. Gershon is the last type of woman. After she left Zhao Benshan, she didn't live on Zhao Benshan's fame, nor did she speak ill of Zhao Benshan. Instead, she lived with a normal heart, worked hard and finally found a way of self-reliance. Her virtue and spirit are admirable. Although her success in career is far from that of Zhao Benshan, her success in life is no less than that of Zhao Benshan!