Those years of youthfulness

Wedge

On Saturday, Jier went home. After hastily finishing dinner, she fell into a pile of books. In order not to disturb her, I sat on the sofa with a glass of water. Looking at her young back, a ponytail was dragged messily behind her head, and the large school uniform could not hide her thin and thin body. I went to kindergarten at the age of three, leaving early and coming back late. Now I am in the second grade of junior high school. I go to boarding school and come back once a week. I come and go in a hurry. I am not attached to this home and the people in it. It is no wonder that I have been in the group since I was a child. In life, her closest family members pushed her out of the house. After more than ten years, it is no longer possible to bring her back to the Oedipus and home complex she had when I was my age. As she grows older, her education level increases. , with the renewal of the times, I am afraid that the body and mind are getting farther and farther away from this home and family...

1

Life is a winding road, and everyone Everyone's curvature is different. I didn't start school until I was 9 years old. I drank my mother's breast milk until I was five years old. I often got addicted to breast milk while playing outside with my friends, and I ran home all of a sudden. No matter where the mother is, she lifts up her top and goes in to suck. In fact, there is milk there, but it is just for fun. After three or two mouthfuls, she immediately goes out and continues to play wildly with her friends. Only once did my uncle come to my house. I was playing outside and got addicted to smoking again. At that time, my mother was sitting on a low stool talking to my uncle. I always didn’t care about anything. One day, I knelt down on the ground, lifted up my mother's clothes and started eating, but I accidentally saw my uncle's eyes staring at me fiercely, with silent anger in his eyes, as if he wanted to beat me. I feel that my uncle is usually a very serious person. He taught in a private school when he was young. Later, because of his bad family background, he was criticized and beaten. He suffered a lot and almost lost his life. None of the four brothers and sisters in the family were afraid of him. They would hit him if they wanted to, and scold him if they wanted to. It was the first time in my life that I saw my old uncle being so cruel to me. I was so frightened that I quickly turned my head away from him. That was when I I gave up my milk addiction, and I felt what humiliation was, an indescribable shame that was brought to me without words, only with my eyes and expressions. I pretended to be calm on my face, but I didn’t know that I wanted to go underground and start shooting in an instant. This crack made me slip in and never come out. From that time on, I never touched my mother's breast again. I was five years old that year. As an adult, I once asked my mother why she didn’t wean me, which made me ashamed for so many years. I remember that my mother was sitting on her little bamboo chair, with one hand on her knees, supporting her chin, and placing her little finger between her upper and lower teeth. This was her habit of sitting in silence in her old age, as if she was in a daze, or in her spare time. Thinking about it, I squatted in front of her and put my hands on her other leg, listening to her recall and narrate my story from that era: "As the old saying goes, grandma is most used to having children who live forever, and I am most used to having children at the end of the world. When you were born, Everyone inside and outside the house sighed: "Oh! Another girl, no hope." But your father didn't think so. You were born when it was dark and he was so happy that he stayed up all night. He was poor at that time. There is not enough nutrition. You are only the size of an old hen when you are born. He is afraid that you will die. He turns on the flashlight to take a look. He is not worried and turns on the flashlight again to take a look. He makes a fuss all night. He is so happy that he never mentions it. He says to everyone: "Haha! I'm getting married now." Outsiders looked at his joy and were also happy, making noises about eating wedding eggs and drinking wedding wine. There were three tables of banquets, and it was a lively affair all day long! I’m so spoiled for you that I can’t bear to wean you off, so I’ll let you drink it for as long as you want.” When my mother told me this, my father had been away for a long time. It has been a long time ago, and as I write these words today, I can only count on my fingers how many years my mother has been gone.

My childish thinking was really pitiful and ridiculous. One time, an old man in the village passed away. For several days, their house was lively and beautiful. Many people gave them big and beautiful gifts. The wreath is made of flowers folded from pieces of wrinkled paper, including red, pink, blue, green, black, and purple. In short, there are all kinds of colors, and there are also many white ones. Just a piece of wrinkled paper costs several cents. , there are also people playing gongs and drums and blowing trumpets, and some are giving away bright red and green silk quilts. The family members are all dressed in white, and the heads are covered with white cloth, which is very long. Visitors will kneel down and cry. Some people were really crying and some were pretending to howl. There were no tears. We children could tell. We secretly pointed out which one was really crying and which one was fake crying without squeezing out tears. We stopped crying when the person left.

The envious person in my heart rushed home and hugged my mother who was cooking: "Mom! Mom! Don't you always say you are going to die? Why haven't you died yet? When will you die? You will die too. Ah! You're going to die!" I have forgotten my mother's expression at that time. I only remember that she didn't scold me or hit me. She dragged me to Grandma Four's house next door for judgment. Grandma Four was really a good person and understood my heart. If I hadn't Grandma, I'm afraid no one can solve this mystery. She said to my mother: "His sister-in-law, her child thinks the playing is fun and lively, and the wreaths and satin are beautiful. She has never seen it, but she thinks it is fun and beautiful!" My mother also laughed. Later, whenever I met people in the village, they would ask me: "Zhizi, when will your mother die? It's true, why hasn't she died yet? We Zhizi have been waiting so impatiently It’s broken!” I was so ashamed that I hid at home every day, afraid of seeing people.

One summer morning, I went out to catch cicadas with my friends. I didn’t catch any of them, and my face was covered with sweat. I quickly came back to drink water. I saw a big teapot on the table and drank it. It was something my mother had brewed early for my father to drink when he came back from work. The mouth of the teapot was very big. I drank so hard that I swallowed a piece of tea. This was terrible. I crawled on the ground and rolled around, screaming to death. Live: "I can't survive, I'm going to die! I swallowed the tea leaves in my stomach, I can't survive! Wow wow wow wow..." Teacher Hu from Murakami just happened to pass by my door and saved me. Teacher Hu, a big girl, She is so beautiful, with two long braids that reach down to her buttocks. She is also a literary and art publicist. Whenever there is a literary and art promotion, large multi-thousand-watt light bulbs are lit on the threshing floor at night. , Teacher Hu is here every time, performing, singing, and model operas. She is good at everything. The whole village likes her. She is said to be a good teacher. She is a teacher. What she says is true. She doesn’t know how to do it. That's right, she picked me up from the ground, patted the dust off my body, and said to me so kindly: "Zhizi, don't be afraid, you won't die. Think about what we usually eat." Green vegetables, pickled vegetables, etc. Sometimes when you defecate, don’t they come out together with the stool? The same goes for this piece of tea. We regard it as the vegetables we eat, which is used when defecating. Then it came out, right? "Yeah, why didn't I expect that? I came back from the death line all of a sudden, and I didn't cry or make trouble anymore. Thank you very much, Teacher Hu, for saving my life. , I wonder where Teacher Hu is now? He is an old man in his late 70s, right? Like me, do you occasionally think of me, who was always full of jokes?

There were no electric fans in the summer at that time, only thin fans and banana leaves. The adults would put mats on the ground to take a nap at noon, and wait for the scorching sun to pass above their heads before going to work. We just came back after the moon was rising. We little guys couldn't sleep anywhere at noon, and we were all playing wild outside. But why did we feel that something was wrong today? It seemed that something was missing. I counted, and there were two missing. We had to go look for them separately. See if they were there. what? And we had to do it secretly without being noticed. We worked in pairs, Fengping and I, and looked for the places we often go to, but couldn’t find them. I asked the adults in their families, and they all said, "We went out to play, no?" Are we playing with you?" Then I looked again. This time I walked out of the back door of my house. Before I opened the door, I heard two voices talking. I listened carefully: "One mouthful for you, okay, another one for you." It's my turn to take another bite." I opened the door and saw that these two ghost girls were eating alone. They were sitting opposite each other, with a half-empty watermelon in the middle, and the red layer inside had been used by them. A piece of bamboo strips surrounding the vegetable field was almost finished. No wonder you took a bite and I took a bite, eating happily. "Where did it come from? Tell me!" The two of us asked in unison: "Xiaoqun used that bamboo strip. Pointing to a ditch in the rice field: "It floated from that ditch.

"That canal is where water is released from the reservoir above to allow farmers to irrigate the rice fields. The gurgling water flows quietly into the distance. There are colorful candy wrappers floating on it, as well as oil paper for wrapping things. These are all. The workers in the factory dormitory across the street threw away the half of the watermelon as well. Only they can afford to eat big watermelons with a monthly salary from the state, and they are not willing to waste it. I don’t want so much red and thick meat. My friends and I were all shocked. We decided to watch this canal every day to see if we could get lucky and get a large semicircular watermelon floating on the water. It was also very thick and red inside. layer, especially me, other friends have gone home. The back door of my house is opposite the canal. I sit here and wait for rabbits every day. It is much more convenient than other friends, but I have never seen a watermelon floating on the water again. Only that time it became a

I can’t describe myself as a child. Was it naughty? Or stubborn? I remember that at the beginning of the first year of the year, I was only seven or eight years old. , in the first month of the year, relatives in the family come and visit each other to pay New Year greetings. My father is the second oldest, and an uncle died when he was more than ten years old. Every year, the uncle and his family come to my house first, and then we go to his house. , our family went away for a day that day, and we had to come back before it was too late. It was more than five miles away, and my uncle and aunt refused to let me come back. They asked me to stay here for a few more days, which made me miserable at home. I didn’t have anyone to accompany me. My uncle’s brothers and sisters even grabbed my clothes and refused to let me go. I didn’t want to leave either. It was so busy here. I just looked at my parents’ eyes and waited for them to say something. Mom told me Once they passed, it was nothing more than being obedient and not being naughty. I nodded my head like a chicken pecking at rice. When they left, we four siblings (the eldest brother was already old by then and no longer played with us) There were many squibs in each pocket, all of which were picked up on the ground and had not exploded. We agreed to take matches and set them in the rice fields, so as to avoid the adults nagging at home that we would burn our hands and start a fire. In the empty rice fields, one of us took out the squib from our pockets and broke it in half, but don't break it, just keep it connected and let the gray gunpowder be visible. The other one chirped. , draw a match, light the gunpowder, the gunpowder emits blue sparks, we succeed, laugh and jump, if one of them cannot light, or disappears with a sudden sound, we say another one. , here comes another one, it was almost dark at that time, a group of us were playing here, and attracted a fat girl who was about the same age as us followed by a big black dog to join in the fun. She looked like she just wanted to play with us. We wanted to play together, but my siblings pulled me away, leaving her and the big black dog watching us from a distance in the wind. I quietly asked my siblings: "Why don't you take her to play with you?" ? "No one is playing with her. She has a nickname called 'Leech Dazi'. She won't let anyone bark at her, and even beats her when barked, so no one takes her to play with her." "The siblings said angrily. I stood up from where I was squatting and looked at her. I didn't know where I got the courage to shout to her: "Leech Darzi! "The siblings were all shocked by my unexpected move, but the one named "Leech Dazi" did not come over to scold me and hit me. Instead, she bent down and said something to her big black dog. , that big black dog rushed towards me with all its strength, I ran away, using up all the strength I had gained from feeding for five years. The straw piles under my feet were pierced into my big cotton trousers, and my ankles. My chest hurt, and I ran desperately. I glanced around, but it was useless. The big black dog was behind me. I couldn't run anymore. I couldn't care about anything. I held my head and fell to the ground. I squatted, closing my eyes and not daring to think about anything, but I only heard a whistling sound flying from the top of my head. I didn’t know how long I was stunned. I only heard my siblings calling me and pushing me, so I dared to open my eyes. Wow, wow. Crying, a dozen steps in front of me, the big black dog was panting and looking at me with its tongue hanging out. The "Leech" behind me was probably frightened, and barked for something unknown, and the big black dog started to cry. He passed away from me, and one person and one dog disappeared into the night where the figures could no longer be seen clearly. My younger brother said, "Sister, when you squat down, that black dog is so powerful. It just jumped over your head and rushed towards you." It's a long way out, but it scared us to death! "The more they said this, the more I cried. It was like a hero on the battlefield being helped by his siblings to go home and complain to his family. My aunt was the same, groping in the dark and trying to find someone to argue with, but they were reasonable. Very sorry, I sent my aunt out. I felt really embarrassed thinking about it.

If I hadn't squatted on the spot that time, the black dog flew over my head due to inertia. If I was chased by it, how would it bite me? ...

The wild fun of childhood has finally come to an end like the four seasons.

Two

When I was eight years old, my sister took me to school to register. At that time, the teacher just asked about the class composition of your family, how many people are in your family, and how old are you this year? This is equivalent to the problem faced by today's three-year-old children. They have been taught well at home, but when standing in front of the teacher, they just keep their mouth shut and remain silent. This year, I failed to go to school and was severely beaten by my sister when I came back. . On a dark night when school started in the second half of the second year, my uncle and my father knocked on the door from outside. My mother hurriedly opened the door. I climbed on the bed and peeped out from the gray curtain, and saw my uncle. Wearing a bamboo hat and a raincoat, my father was alone in the rain and looked a little shivering from the cold. The old uncle took out the folded note from his pocket and handed it to his father and said : "Just bring this to Principal Chen tomorrow. There is no need to embarrass the child. The name, home address, and population have been written down. You don't need to say much. The principal will accept it after reading this note." The father used a pair of The trembling hand carefully took the note and put it away. After the old uncle finished speaking, he hurried back in the dark. There was still five miles to go. The mother wiped the rain off the father's body with a dry cloth, and the two of them whispered something. , my eyes gradually dimmed, and the sound of rain pounding outside gradually became far away from me.

When I was nine years old, I was in the first grade. This was a prestigious school in the county. One of my uncle’s classmates was the principal of another school. That rainy night, my uncle and my father were fighting for this. The four children in my uncle's family all go to school in their own village. My sister, who is one year younger than me, only dropped out of school after the second grade. My father had dreamlike hopes for me. He hoped that I could pass the normal college entrance examination, take over my grandfather's uncle's class, and become a famous teacher. My father didn’t know a word of Chinese characters. He spent his whole life with his face turned to the earth and his back to the sky. He was loyal and honest. Every time he talked about his second brother while drinking, he would burst into tears: “Every time I go to study, it is my second brother who helps me carry the books.” It had to take a whole day to walk, and we were poor at that time. We didn’t have anything to eat even if we walked for a whole day. We just brought a few corn cakes from home and beat our shoulders with the water in the river. At that time, Brother Ku was waiting I’m so good. Every year at the end of the year, a calendar is given to my family. It’s only a dime a piece. It’s only as big as dried tofu. I get a few cigarettes if I have one. I’ve never been blessed for a day in my life!”

My father is a kind old man who has high expectations for me. I am his little Qiugua and he loves me very much. But when I was young, I really didn’t understand anything. Every time it rained, my father would go to school. He gave me an umbrella and rubber shoes, and the classmates in the class shouted together: "Your grandpa gave you an umbrella!" "Your dad is the grandpa!" He took the umbrella from his father's hand without even looking at him. I hate it, but I still make a big fuss when I get home, and I don’t want my father to go to school from now on: "My classmates all say you are my grandfather, you are embarrassing me." What does it mean to be embarrassed? Only now do I really understand that only those who say this are really embarrassed. Since then, my father has never been to my school again. When giving umbrellas, rubber shoes, clothes, etc., he would stand at the school gate and ask others to take them in. His hope for me was still in full swing. I was very attached to my father at home. I was not allowed to go to school. I loved my father very much. My father’s love was like a mountain. There was no tuition fee. My father let go of a paulownia tree that had been at home for many years and sold it for 8 yuan to pay for my tuition. I once went to sell my pond with my father. The lotus roots dug out are used as my tuition fees, and my father weighs me and settles the accounts. When my father is there, there is hope, and when my father is there, there is happiness.

My father’s health is getting worse and worse. He has only been addicted to oral cigarettes all his life. He was poor at that time and smoked the cheapest and cheapest cigarettes, which cost a few cents a pack. My father’s lungs became worse and worse. It was not good anymore. I listened to him coughing all day long, and he still had blood. I went to the hospital. The doctor said that there was something wrong with his lungs and he had to be hospitalized. My father didn’t want to, and the family didn’t have any spare money. In the following days, I stayed in bed all day long. I got up early. When I went to school, he called me to the bed and stretched out the sleeves of my coat, which was close-fitting. I was huddled together in a mess, wearing small clothes on the outside and then wearing them on the inside, in front of the cold. , turned my collar layer by layer from the inside, and pulled out the pants underneath from top to bottom. My father is a very clean and serious person, and everything in his hands will be carefully adjusted.

When I came back from school that day, the sky fell. I could no longer talk about school things with my dear father, and I could no longer hold my father’s hand and jump around. I crawled into my father’s arms and screamed. It was still hot inside. I said that my father was not dead. My father’s chest was hot. The people in the village pulled me away from my father. I held my father’s hand and didn’t let go. After that, I didn’t know anything else... My father was gone. , leaving behind a 15-year-old me and a 55-year-old mother. My mother told me that on the afternoon when my father left, she asked her to go find my sister and brother-in-law who were married in a village, and asked them to take care of me in the future. He said a lot about being unable to do farm work, just because he was worried about me and couldn't let me go.

From then on, my mother and I depended on each other, and our lives got worse and worse. A mountain in our family collapsed. My mother and I struggled to survive. Facing the difficulties of our family and my mother's illness, I could no longer continue to go to school. I have to support myself and take care of my mother. For the first time in my life, a 16-year-old girl is faced with the adversity of making a living. I have to drop out of school to make a living. I want to eat and support my family. Although my father is gone, we still have nothing to lose. But the house cannot collapse.

A construction company was recruiting people, and I went to sign up. The recruiter said that I was too young and weak to pick up tasks and couldn’t carry them. Such a little girl who had just finished reading couldn’t bear the hardship. Don't want to accept me. I reasoned with them: Men and women are equal, and strength comes from training. You can let me do it first, and if it doesn't work, you can stop me. I followed them around and argued hard, and they also understood some of my family's situation, so they agreed to let me do it first. The price was one yuan and twenty cents a day. Who knows, I was wearing a safety helmet and yellow clothes. Wearing construction site shoes and white gauze gloves, he becomes a little bricklayer, handing bricks, making mud, carrying ash buckets, carrying cement, lifting bricks, and standing on several layers of single bricks to water the newly built wall. , her little face was tanned, her clothes stuck to her skin when she lifted her shoulders and couldn't be torn off, she hit her finger with a hammer when she was smashing a steel bar and had to change her nails, she didn't feel any pain or tiredness, she just had a good night's sleep. Well, after working for only 36 yuan a month, I am living a happy life with my mother. My mother grows some vegetables, takes care of the housework, is frugal and frugal, and has simple meals. There is laughter in the midst of hardship, happiness in poverty, and the poor live the life of the poor. , the happiness index is high. I worked as a bricklayer for 11 months. A textile factory was recruiting workers. I passed the exam and went to the factory, where I worked for fifteen years.

In the mid-1990s, state-owned enterprises closed down one after another and employees were laid off, which brought me the second livelihood dilemma in my life. I also went from a 16-year-old girl to the age of motherhood. Life, I abandoned my children and my mother, left my hometown, and followed my husband thousands of miles away to make a living. I stayed there for 20 years, which made the whole family miserable. My mother was too old to be old, and the younger one was about to get married in the blink of an eye. When it comes to getting married, life is a cycle that goes on and on over and over again. My mother also completed her life in the cycle of time.

My parents’ life was a miserable one. I don’t think they had any material enjoyment in their lives. They spent all their time in poverty and hunger. The kindness of parents is deeper than the ocean, and it is difficult for their children to live their whole lives. Repay your parents for their kindness.

My sister is 17 years older than me, but she doesn’t like me at all. She always beats me, hits me on the head with eating chopsticks, twists my face, always mocks me or ignores me at all. Anyway, she never looked at me once. I remember one time during lunch, she was hitting me on the head with a pair of chopsticks outside. My mother happened to see it, so she got angry and beat her several times. I remember she and her mother were having a huge quarrel. When my mother beat her, she would beat me, and she was angry for many days without talking to her mother.

Another time she was beating me at home, and my father just came back from slapping the grass in the seedlings. When I saw her beating me there, I didn’t dare to resist. I held my head and kept crying. I think my father must have been there at that time. I was so angry that I gave her a hard slap without any reason. A girl in her twenties was slapped all over her face by her father without saying a word. She was really ugly. I felt so grateful to my father! She was so embarrassed and so kind that she immediately ran into her room and locked the door. Later, she heard from her mother that her sister and her father had been angry and hadn't spoken to each other for several months. She once remembered that my father bought me a pink gauze scarf. How much did it cost? I don’t remember it. I seem to remember it a few years ago, but I can’t remember it now. It was so soft and beautiful. My father tied it around my neck. I jumped happily like a butterfly. I was ignorant when I was a child. Why didn’t I know to keep it? This was also a thought given to me by my father. My sister was so angry that she twisted her nose and didn’t even look at him. She ignored my father for many, many days. I saw at that time I feel scared when I see my sister, and she is always far away from her. It wasn't until she got married and had children that my father bought me a rose-red nylon sweater with flowers on the chest and a high collar. I clearly remember it cost eight yuan and sixty cents. Sisters in the late 1970s will probably remember it. This kind of sweater was newly released at that time. In my photo album, I also took a photo with my cousins ??wearing this beautiful sweater in the first month of the year. The photos developed at that time were in black and white. I had such a beautiful nylon sweater. Why can't I see the bright rose red and the beautiful flowers on my chest? How can I make it colorful and look as beautiful as what I'm wearing? After thinking for a long time, I finally figured out a way. I took out only one five-cent coin from my private matchbox and ran to the stall where people were coloring photos, and told him what color should be painted where. , there was this kind of business at that time, specializing in adding color to people's photos. Black and white photos became color, but they were not as beautiful as the ones my father bought for me. I remember my sister saw it when she went back to her parents' house, and she had a big quarrel with my father. , her mother scolded her from the side: "You are already married, and you are the mother of your children. Why can't you just let her be your little sister? She is a thorn in your side." Later she went back by herself. I bought a green one. In my memory, she never gave me warmth. I don’t know how many injustices my father and mother suffered for me. When I was young, I was so ignorant. If it were now, I would never let my father buy things for me. What should I do? No, you don't want to be upset because of me. At that time, my sister and my father were arguing so much that I couldn't give in, and I was still complacent and complacent: "Just buy it for me, not for you, huh!" This made me feel jealous. , but don’t dare to show your mouth or expression at all, otherwise you will be beaten. My sister doesn’t dare to hit my parents, but if she dares to hit me, I have to be careful! Now I also have two daughters, 12 years apart. Why does my elder sister love her younger sister so much? I saved my money for breakfast in the morning and bought a bunch of candied haws for my sister after school at noon. The 10-cent bag of shredded radish must have some kind of cyclamate or coloring added in it. Both sisters like to eat it, so the elder sister will let her do as much as she can. Eat, my sister ate until she got shredded radish in her mouth, and she pooped out shredded radish. She couldn't pull down the long shredded radish, and she had to pull it down. She took better care of her urine and feces than I did. She often says: "Jie'er, you are so lucky. You have such a good sister. Mom is so envious of you!" Jie'er's sister treats her like a mother treats her own children, and Jie'er treats her sister better than she does. love me! I am lucky because my misfortune has not happened to them again. They are happy and innocent, and I am happy too!

When I grew up, I once asked my mother why my sister disliked me so much when she was a child, but my mother’s answer made me laugh and laugh. My mother said, when you were a child, you were thin and unwilling to take good care of yourself. When it comes to eating, I'm afraid that you won't be able to feed yourself, so I asked a blind man to tell your fortune. The blind man said that you were born in the year of sheep, and she was born in the year of tiger. Sheep are the food in the tiger's mouth, and your little lamb is a one-horned sheep. It's very powerful. If not, it's very powerful. If you can't live to be 12 years old, you will be eaten by a tiger. It's such nonsense and ignorance! Now I think I should understand why my sister hates me so much. My parents were married in their later years. Maybe my sister feels that I shouldn’t have her. She is afraid that I will become a burden to her when my parents get old. Maybe it’s because if Without me, the home belongs to her, and no one can stand in her way.

As time passed, I did not become a burden to her, nor did I hold her back. Instead, I only left an everlasting impression on me. Now that we are both old, I am always enthusiastic about her. I can’t help but feel bad about her. The time I spent with her made me feel cold towards her. I also knew more or less what she did to me secretly from my mother’s words before she was alive. I also learned about her treatment of me from my niece-in-law. She is dark and ruthless. I don’t hate her, and I can’t even say I love her. To hate someone is to torture yourself. Think about it, between us two sisters, she is the one who suffers the most. I am stupid and have no scheming. Life is like this. Guests, we really shouldn’t waste our thoughts on meaningless things.

My mother is not as upright as my father. In many things, my mother does not advocate justice and impartiality. I think she may have her own reasons. I don’t know, but I don’t want to be with anyone. I don't like fighting by nature. I inherited this from my father. I just want to live a simple life and be a simple person without so many thoughts.

Three

The moon sets in the west, the stars change, half a hundred years of life, looking back and smiling, it is a moment of eternity; looking back again, there is still a long way to go, and we have to continue. As you become more mature, experienced and knowledgeable, you will be less immature! Look away, calm down, the road will be more stable, have a mind like the sea, accommodate all rivers, live for your own heart, live for your own life process, live a more wonderful and beautiful life, live up to your life, never let it down. Being ashamed of one's own life, wouldn't it be a great enjoyment in the later years of life to be an octogenarian!