How to write the marriage and love guarantee?

In order to be a competent husband, I solemnly promise to XX as follows: 1. My wife is always right; 2. If not, it must be my fault; 3. If I didn't think wrong, I must have misheard; 4. If 2 and 3 don't match, then I promise according to the first one: all housework (including mother-in-law's); Pay all income (including gray); Listen to all your wife's words (including hair dia); Accompanying the whole shopping process (including men who stop) has the following additional commitments: 1. When the wife takes a bath, she should measure the water temperature and scratch her back, and must not have lust; 2. The wife should be brave enough to pay the bill when shopping, encourage more, and must not have unwilling behavior; 3. When the wife gives money, she should be grateful with tears, save money and not be extravagant; 4. When the wife admonishes, her hands should be close together and stand at attention, and there must be no distraction; 5. When your wife is away, you should think so much, keep your body as jade, and don't steal chickens and touch dogs; 6. If the wife is angry, she must kneel down and beg for mercy, and she must not ignore it; 7. If my wife hits me, let her step on it. Thank you, Ron. I promise not to look back. I promised myself to do it. Please supervise me. Hereby certify! ! ! Guarantor: XXX year x month x day