The Classic Lines and Sources of Degang Guo's Crosstalk

(Dare not take a bath) Our village head has a bad temper. He watched the child shit there, called the dog to eat, and ate himself after three barks!

1. Where is this fart? Tick the box and call it shit!

Animals (people) have discerning eyes.

He farts. He can break white shorts into chrysanthemums.

9. (Back to the meeting) They lost things when they went out.

10. (Back to the field) A dung truck passed by their house to go out and taste the salty water.

12 (front pad) You don't need to speak louder!

14 (ditto) Crosstalk is good! Attack ugliness, Huoxiang is healthy.

15 (on the status quo of cross talk in fifty years) There are always more than one thousand pieces of traditional cross talk left by the old gentleman. After years of continuous efforts by our actors, there are now more than 400 pieces left. There are still 300 paragraphs that are not allowed to be said. 100 is in conflict with building a harmonious society.

16 (on the status quo of cross talk for 50 years) There is a child near our home who can speak seven or eight foreign national languages, such as English, Japanese, Korean, Yugoslav, North Slavic and West Slavic ... Anyway, he can sit with Eight-Nation Alliance and curse the street!

17 Our home is riddled with holes. When it rains, it kills us: it rains outside, and it rains outside. Sometimes it rains too hard, so the whole family takes shelter in the streets.

18 (give your wife a child) If you are going to die, I am willing to bury it.

19 (song "Just Right") Do you want to listen, do you want to listen, or do you want to listen? I will never insist.

20 (I want to be happy) This guy robbed the bank and drove on the North Third Ring Road. 5: 30 in the afternoon! When the police arrived, the traffic jam was very serious.

1 1 Your shameless appearance is like my charm.

12 (just right, on dreams)? You don't know me? I am an artist! I have been an artist for over a week.

13 (on dreams): Brother, I hope the world will be peaceful, and the people in the world will live and work in peace and contentment, and there will be no war, okay?

God thought about it. Let's tell the truth about this difficulty. I'm not that capable. Really, brother, I'm not refuting your face. I won't tell you anything else. Can you change it? Let's discuss something else.

When I touch my body, I bring other people's photos. Brother, look at this. This is my other disciples. His name is Yu Qian. He looks cold and can't find anyone. Please make him more beautiful.

God: (thinking) Let's talk about world peace (tearing up photos).

Degang Guo: Hey, why did you tear up the photo, huh? I don't agree. I don't agree. Why tear it? I still keep it to ward off evil spirits!

14 (I entrust my son to my wife for life) I have money at home and drive a Cadillac 13. You can tell by the sound that it is a good machine, imported from Germany, "chug chug", oh, triple jump. At first, half of Beijing was smoking black smoke, and the traffic police shouted at you, "Elder Sun, take your magic."

15 (Xizhengmeng) From today on, I will never eat lobster again.

16 grenades are expensive. If there are six grenades for one dollar, I'll throw you a hundred dollars first. If the law didn't care, I would have killed you!

17 ("just right") The young man looks like an actor. ...

How about 18 (Xizhengmeng)! This plane, like Dafa, has a rocking glass! ..... sitting on a big hat, Li Xia didn't give the newspaper ... Tianjin didn't make a big hat, but they all went to the United States ... and flew to the United States for half a year, adding more than 40,000 oil.

19 (dream of getting married? ) Guo: What should I do? I'm so rich. I don't know how to spend it Hey? ! Yu Qian, why don't I take care of you?

Will you take care of me? !

Guo: Ah ... no ... No matter how rich we are, we must choose our looks!

20 Shouxing Lao: Jade Emperor Jade Emperor! ~ something has come up.

Jade Emperor: What happened to the birthday girl?

Shouxing Lao: Do you have a hammer and nails? Let me use it. My sika deer bit the railing.

Jade Emperor: Shouxing, what can I say about you? It doesn't matter if you ride that deer, you have to feed it! ~

It's cold in my life. I'll give you a coat. The post office said it was too heavy, so I hinged the buttons and put them in my pocket.

25 (Return)-Wen Shun, what did you get?

I won't tell you that I brought boiled eggs.

-Give it to me.

-No ... guess, guess how many.

-I guess you gave me one.

-If you can guess, I'll give you two.

-..............., I've been thinking about it for a long time, five?

26 (dream of getting married)-It's false teeth.

-Throw it away.

-Don't throw it away. It's too bad.

-Why?

-Tie a stick to it as a tickler.

27 ("just right") "The story told today is not far from now. If there are old people at home, you can go back and ask-during the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period ... "

28 (I want to travel) Flight 90 14, Xizhimen to Daxing Huangcun, fare 5 yuan, please board. How interesting you say this is. The flight attendants will shout when they stand there. Let's go, let's go. There are big seats, there are big seats. Be sure to have a big seat!

29 (I want to fight against the three customs' video') So-and-so was born and his father was ill. After returning to China, his mother is the hardest. Here is the husband and there are the children. We should take care of them. Feed the medicine here, feed the medicine there, feed the milk, feed the medicine. Feed medicine, breast-feed His father is too strong, and the child has taken the wrong medicine. .

3 1 (opening poem) behave yourself, be gloomy, force nocturnal songs, ride a mule to harm others, be fair and just, and starve. Building bridges and roads is blind, killing and setting fires. I went to the Western Heaven to ask my Buddha, and the Buddha said, No way!

32 "The foot of my bed is shining with such bright light. Is it frosty already?"? , looked up and found it was moonlight, (pa! My name is Degang Guo. There are many people here. I am very happy. Thank you for coming. Don't go after the party. Go eat. Whoever goes will pay. Listen to cross talk for twenty, and make a noise of sixteen thousand. Laugh and add money. "

34. Yu Qian: A tooth is still stuffed.

Degang Guo: He ate the lotus root and got it in his eye!

I am a rich man. Today, backstage, I drove here and they all came on foot. Those old gentlemen in Tianjin went out on Tuesday. But my car has had some problems recently, and the speed is a bit slow. At first, I thought the carburetor was dirty. I won't know until I check. It was the pedal that fell off ... "

How can I describe his appearance to you? Have you ever seen baked sweet potatoes? Just baked. It's too hot in your hand. I accidentally failed to hold it and fell to the ground. What about over there? A child came running, wearing spikes, and stepped on this sweet potato. . His face is like this sweet potato. (Bang: He looks like a story. )

You are vulgar-but I like it.

I want to kill myself and jump off a building. I have studied this kind of jump. The second floor is different from the twentieth floor. There are "pa" and "ah" on the second floor and "ah ~ ~" and "pa" on the twentieth floor.

46. (White House) Hearing the news of your father's death, the neighbors cried: "Such a good man, he died too late!"

47. (Return) After midnight, two grandfathers went shopping naked, so Jing Li still wore glasses-if he wore a mask, it would be three points.

48. (Strange treatment) How beautiful these two nurses are: 1.7 meters tall, with sideburns and beards, and a slap to protect their hearts.

49. (Everywhere) Yu Qian's father, Wang Man Sr.

50. (Return) Li Jing has a cousin who can tiptoe under Li Xia in high heels. She looks poor. Her picture is posted on the door to ward off evil spirits and on the bed for contraception.

5 1. (I'm a gangster) Have you ever seen a gangster with a crayon tattoo?

53. (I'm a writer) Everyone in the Single Knife Club knows that Liu Guan and Zhang Taoyuan became sworn friends three times, and the three men hit their heads on the ground like brothers, and then went to protect Tang Priest and learn from the scriptures. There is this story in A Dream of Red Mansions.

55. (Remarks) We all drove back to Beijing. Mr. Yu is taller than us. He watched us drive, watched us, and rode back by bike.

54. The old man has been sweating all over these days, and the smell under his armpit is cumin.

57. (White House) Hit the monk after you finish reading the scriptures.

58. (White House) Degang Guo: Please ask a layman in Jushilin to write a spell for your father.

Yu Qian: Right.

Degang Guo: Can ordinary people invite you? Jushilin's came, Kutokuhayashi's, Zhilin's, McDonald's and Quanjude's also came.

59. (The White House seems to be right, not necessarily) Degang Guo: I have no taste in my heart to see your father like this. I grew up with the old man, grew up in front of him and watched me grow up. Now he is so ill, can I feel it in my heart?

Yu Qian: Exactly.

Degang Guo: Alas ... (pointing) Old man, you ... you have today.

60. (Back to the meeting) Degang Guo: There was a case of dismemberment. The body was dismembered and disassembled into eight pieces, which was terrible. The detective asked Yu Qian, "What do you think is going on?" Yu Qian thought for a moment and said, "I think this is suicide."

6 1. The tower reads "Tongguan" in three characters.

62. You haven't seen my daughter-in-law, beautiful! Tall, with a big face and heavy eyebrows. She has no beard. She should have a beard like Zhang Fei.

This plane is also diesel.

66 (Xizhengmeng) Baijia-Newly painted pulp.

67 (Xi Zhengmeng) There are more than twenty people standing in front of the White House, men and women, and their bags are all ready-reporters! I have to be careful what I say. I don't want to be caught by them and embarrass China people. Next, the gang came over: "Master, would you like a plate?" Sell! What do you think the White House Cultural Bureau does for food?

There is a rockery in the White House with a banner below it: Everyone is responsible for family planning.

If two kinds of feelings depend on each other, are they pork and pork?

70 (Xizhengmeng) How many stops is Tieling from America?

72 (in life) I have difficulties to help, and I have to help if I have no difficulties to create difficulties.

(Entrusting his wife a present) The girl turned around and combed her four hairs.

75 (Yellow Crane Tower) is walking. Ah, there is a question mark in front. When Liu Bei jumped up, "Teng wait for a while wait for a while". Ah, a mushroom came into being. After eating mushrooms, Liu Bei grew taller. Before moving forward, there is still a question mark. When he touched it, a flower appeared. After eating the flowers, Liu Bei raised his hand. "DuDu DuDu" can shoot bullets. With wings, the tortoise came. ...

You know my appetite, and I don't like roast duck, so I can't eat it after eating four. I said, I really can't eat. I have to eat when I get home later.

God, this is so exciting. My heart is about to be torn apart.

8 1 (... so strong that I forgot) spoke before. I thought I was blind.

Degang Guo (Red Cross): "Your grandmother said to your mother,' Jinlian, you go.'

Yu Qian: "Ah."

Degang Guo: "I didn't say your grandfather's surname was Pan.

83 (Returning) Several inhuman hooligans abused Li Qing's cousin in the moonlight. When the moon came out, several hooligans turned themselves in.

84 ("Just Right") People always want ghosts and gods to know that it is too embarrassing for ghosts and gods not to know that we have done bad things.

I like playing the flute. I told my wife that I buried the flute with me when I died. I like erhu. I told my wife that I buried the erhu with me when I died. Recently, I fell in love with chimes ... My wife said: If the country is easy to dig, don't bury it.

Degang Guo: I'm going to steal two terracotta warriors and horses, paste Yu Qian and his father with mud and put them there, then wash them, write down eight honors and eight disgraces and take them to Panjiayuan for sale.

87 pie steamed bread with rice, international celebrities eat fried liver in the morning, stew at noon and stew yeast at night.

Yu Qian: This international celebrity is also very ashamed.

Everywhere, I am a triad, talking about dreams, etc. ) rip off my clothes and slap my heart. There are two hairtail tattoos on this work.

Degang Guo: How many mummies are there? ..... Hey, Yu Qian, are you free? How about I wrap you in a white cloth and lie there?

Yu Qian: No. You forget that my father and I are standing in front of the Terracotta Warriors.

Degang Guo: .................., why is your cross talk like a TV series?

90: Your Majesty: Is this the monster who helped pay tribute?

9 1: Guo: "Say, there are two Japanese people living in our community, and the couple are both quite tall."

Yu: "How high!" Guo: "The male is 1.4 meters and the female is 1.2 meters."

Yu: "This is still high."

Guo: "Hey, you are wrong. This is high in Japan. "

92: This adult was playing in the backyard when he was three or four years old. Suddenly, a fairy fell from the sky, stepped on the clouds and landed in front of him. He wondered, "This is, what kind of bird is this?" This is, ah! "

The fairy was very unhappy: "Stop it!" This child should have great respect for God, you know? Do you know I smoke? "

The child was frightened: "the hooligans in the street frightened me." What do you say you have? " I will steal my father's money for you. "

The fairy said, "You talk nonsense! There are other things this time, and there are other things. "

95: Everyone knows the Water Margin, right? It is a classic literature adapted from TV series.

It rained twice this week, once for three days and once for four days.

97: (all my life) My friend said that he printed counterfeit money for me, and I gave him 50~~ and he gave me 1 counterfeit money. I suspect that he cheated me.

99: (I am a gangster) Little girl, give your uncle a smile. If you don't laugh, my uncle will give you a smile.

100: thousands of books, a nine-legged dragon platform, gave birth to what I thought. I can't serve my country and make the world a better place. Whose husband am I?

I found this on the Internet. There are some classic jokes of Degang Guo on the Internet. I suggest you search them. In addition, I downloaded many videos of Degang Guo from Tudou. I suggest you go to Tudou. Ha ha.