Chen Fangyi, University Tutor: Women's Awakening in 1980s.

In the past, marriages between men and women were introduced by matchmakers and never met. After marriage, women's status is particularly low. A woman's position in the family is like a maid, and taking care of her husband is like serving the emperor. At home, men are always hungry, and whenever they are dissatisfied, they will hit people. Women can't complain, or they will be beaten by men. Couples in the 1970s and 1980s still had a lot of worries. However, after 80s, women woke up and had a sense of self-protection, so they could use legal weapons to protect themselves, rather than submit to humiliation. As long as you are treated unfairly in marriage, you will file for divorce and find someone more suitable for you. In addition, the proportion of men and women is unbalanced now, so it is not difficult for women to find a suitable one. Next, I will tell you a real example, and I will look around for it.

This is a big family. Grandpa gave birth to seven children, six boys and a girl. The son preference of the older generation is particularly serious, so seven children and six men all went to school and graduated from junior high school. Because these six boys don't love school, they all stop at this stage. Going to junior high school was very common in the sixties and seventies. The only girl has never been to school. This girl especially wanted to go to school when she was a child, and she was very smart. So once I went to school secretly (they didn't give the teacher money until they got home), and her father knew about it. Her father took a thick stick to school and brought it home. From then on, he never went to school again, and helped his father (mother died prematurely from fatigue) to work in the fields at home. Finally, she was arranged by her family to marry the son of her father's sister. This is consanguineous marriage, so she just gave birth to two children and died at birth. Now this girl says that she shed tears when she has no education, because as a woman in the 1980s, she suffered a lot because she has no education, and she can't even write her name. But I am very strong. Even if I can't read, I still got a driver's license, bought a car and drove from Xiamen to Zunyi, Guizhou. My husband is too timid to take the driver's license test.

In fact, these six boys are not easy either. Both the boss and the second wife died young (I don't know how the second wife died, but I guess she died of overwork for her family). The boss's wife fell down on a rainy day and didn't find her dead in time. She married a second wife. The boss has two girls and a boy, and the second wife has two boys. It is said that mistresses are not good for three children, and two girls are not married. I went when the boy got married. I met my second wife. At that time, I thought she was very kind to others. I suspect that it is nonsense to say that she is not good to her original three children. So I told the boy that your mother was fine. He said that everything is fine now. I saw a trace of sadness in his eyes, I know. The second wife of the second child has a particularly bad mouth, and there is nothing wrong with the original three girls. However, if the original three girls do anything bad, they will tell outsiders. In fact, she has two girls and a boy, and many other people who have done something wrong will see through it. The third is the most harmonious family among the six boys. Fourth, when I was young, my husband and wife often fought, and my fourth son loved playing cards. The fifth man is also married for the second time, and the second wife is from the same village. When they were young, they fled their original family and took a boy with them. The second wife gave birth to two boys, and they gave birth to another boy together. The second wife was very unfriendly to the boy who had married the fifth wife. They didn't raise the child, but their father raised the child. The child is also very pitiful when he is older. He has no home and can't go home for the New Year. Uncle uncle knows he can't help it. I came back from the Spring Festival last year and lived in my second son's house for nearly a month. My second son's wife has a complaint and sent it to my fifth son's house. My fifth son's wife had a quarrel with my second son and wouldn't let the children in. But the fifth old man bought a house for two children born together. The child has just reached marriageable age this year and will get married. The boy turned a blind eye to the original child and refused to let him in. Last year, he took his four sons and six sons to work in Xiamen. This year, he didn't come back because he knew that his family wouldn't let him in and his aunts didn't want him to stay long.

Now, the focus is the core of this article. Lao Liu's wife has never been to school, but she is very good. Relatively independent, a person works on the construction site, doing men's work. In the past, Lao Liu was a harmonious family and was the richest compared with the other five. However, as the wife came into contact with new ideas and new concepts, there was a rift in the family, and the two always lived apart. I heard that they were getting a divorce, and the woman found one. Others say that women don't like men. In my opinion, there is a reason for this. It is a resistance to the long-term unequal relationship between husband and wife. Why do I say that? Because this family values boys over girls. Even the girls who are the eldest and the second are victims of this kind of thinking, but this kind of thinking is deeply rooted in their minds. The six boys in this family enjoy emperor-like treatment in the relationship between husband and wife, even if they get married for the second time. These six boys, except the boss's practical farm work in the countryside, all work on the construction site, and their wives also work with them on the construction site, but even when they go to work, they all do similar work. When they get home, they lie in bed waiting for dinner after taking a shower. Like Grandpa, their wives have to buy food and cook when they go home, and then serve the food on the table, and then call this so-called "Grandpa" to eat and finish it. I usually get my wife's salary, because my wife can't read, and then my wife is humble when she asks them for money at home, and she is also scolded for spending money too fast. The wife of the only literate sixth son asked for a divorce, and she paid her own salary. Liuzi's wife is fed up with the unequal relationship between husband and wife. She is 40 years old and her children are older. She served three men (husband and two boys) at home for the first half of her life, and one worked at the construction site. When she got home, she couldn't get her husband's pain, so she had to wait on her like an emperor. So others are right. She hates this man now, and even a strong woman needs someone to hurt her. I have no obligation to serve someone who doesn't care about myself. He asked if he was ill and went to the hospital alone. Once she loved her husband deeply, and they got married freely. But I really didn't get all the care, tenderness and consideration. To find a person who cares about himself and loves himself all his life is to be responsible for his own life. Although his six children are willing to support him now, the father is also lonely. Usually he watches TV alone and strolls outside alone. His grandson is not close to him, but respects him. Because I was selfish when I was young, I never cared about my grandson. Maybe he should treat his wife well when he was young, so as not to overwork himself. Maybe he can go out with a person and watch the sunset. Don't give his children a wrong view of marriage. The wives of six sons also have a lot of complaints about him. Living in their house doesn't like cleanliness. They should wait on him, cook for him on time for every meal, and consider his preferences. Others are lucky. Their wives don't have this idea of keeping pace with the times. Even if you are too hard on your wife, if you are sick and alone at home, your wife will worry about whether it is serious or hungry. Therefore, some people say that the traditional divorce rate was low in the past because women in the past forbeared too much and paid too much. For the sake of family happiness, even if they are dissatisfied with their husbands, they will not file for divorce. Now times are different, women have awakened, have the ability to pursue their own happiness, and can live a high life.

In the social relationship with a serious imbalance between men and women, having a virtuous wife is a man's best wealth and greatest luck in the future. Women will also choose to get married without satisfying themselves, and will not succeed. I will choose to live alone, keep a pet alone, or have my own test-tube baby, and then grow old in a quiet life. This is also a wonderful life.