Jokes and jokes are long and short.

Watching jokes or jokes can not only make you happy, but also enliven the atmosphere of the party. Why not? Especially the jokes often used in life. Next, I have carefully prepared "Pieces and Long Articles" for everyone. Welcome to watch!

Joke long (hot) 1. In fact, you are very touching and ready to hit someone. In fact, you are very cute, and no one loves you even now. In fact, you are infatuated, and you are the most stupid in feelings!

2. Lao Wang: My wife and I have been married for 30 years, and we always hold hands in the street. Xiao Wang: You have such a good relationship! Lao Wang: As soon as I let go, she went shopping.

M: Every time I miss you, the star will drop a tear. That's how the ocean was formed. Woman: Every time I think about you, I fart. This is how the ozone layer is formed.

4. Pig said, Brother, go to the hospital quickly. I heard that the hospital opened a department specially for you. ? Wukong:? Oh? What department is stupid monkey! ?

My wife is a nag! She is always talking. Last year, she went to the seaside to recuperate for half a month. Guess what, I came back with a tanned tooth.

6. Old John asked his future son-in-law: When you marry my daughter, what will you give me if I give her a generous dowry? I will give you a receipt! ?

7. The couple are celebrating their tenth wedding anniversary. The wife said to her husband affectionately, honey, talk about your feelings in the past ten years? The husband lamented that marriage is risky and it is necessary to be cautious when obtaining a certificate.

8. The wife who works in the shop gets off work very late every day, and this day is also very late. Dave: Let's eat quickly! Wife: No, I'm not hungry at all today. Because I transferred to the pastry group.

9. Xiao Lv asked the old donkey: Why do we eat hay every day, while cows eat concentrated feed? The old donkey sighed, we can't compete with men. We eat by running errands, and others eat by breasts!

10. Admit it, what lie did you tell yourself last year? Expensive is expensive. How many years can you wear it? Your coat, you pretended not to see it when you opened the closet this fall.

Joke length (classic) 1. A beautiful woman found lipstick too heavy, wiped it with a wet tissue and threw it on the road. An old man picked it up, looked at it for a long time and suddenly woke up. He caught up and said, girl, this ultra-thin one is easy to fall off!

When the hunter saw a bird in the sky, he fired three shots and missed, but the bird still fell. It turned out that the bird patted its chest and said, scared to death, scared to death.

3. A couple are in love. Do you know what my favorite movie is? Woman: What's this? Man: An incomparable bra. W: Do you know which one I like best? Marry a rich man.

4. A friend said that the water leakage was serious during the heavy rain, and called the property to say: The leakage is so serious that the washbasin can't be taken away! Come and fix it! ? The considerate property immediately sent a big washbasin.

A Jiangnan man went to Beijing, lost a handkerchief in the city and asked a rude soldier, have you seen me? The soldier was furious: I have seen thousands of things. What are you afraid of?

6. My cousin is over forty years old. Starting from the text, I failed in the exam for three years. Then I practiced martial arts, and as soon as I made a move in the martial arts field, I was fired from playing drums. Change the medicine, write the prescription, eat it, and die.

7.？ Mom, I got paid this month and I'm going to travel. ? What a great trip! What a waste of money! ? I went with a girl! ? Is there enough money? Do those girls have boyfriends?

8. The real reason why men dare not marry beautiful women: the management fee is too high! Maintenance costs are very expensive! The use value is not high! Durability is not strong! Once used, it is difficult to replace.

9. Someone was bitten by a dog and went to the hospital to take medicine. The doctor is getting ready to leave work: look at the time. Don't you know when you should come to work? The man said: I know, but the dog doesn't understand!

10. Advertising is a great power. Hens always bark loudly when laying eggs, while geese lay eggs quietly. So people buy eggs, and almost no one buys goose eggs.

A man tried to kill the rooster at home, but he couldn't catch it. The man was furious and scolded: If you don't come down, I will kill all the hens at home and make you a bachelor for life!

2.？ Is there no heating in your ward in winter? No need. We just need to line up patients with high fever and take them to each ward in turn. The room temperature will come up soon! ?

3. A couple quarreled in the street, and the woman asked? Why don't you men understand women? The man replied? Do men who really understand women fucking like women? ! ? I was stunned.

4. Lady: My husband went out to buy potatoes a year ago and never came back. What do you think I should do? Policeman: I said, why are you so stupid? Don't wait for his potatoes to be replaced with other dishes.

Two unruly young monks argued for a long time about what meat was the best. When the master was invited, he smiled and said, The best food must be the Tang monk meat! All the young monks fainted.

6. Seeing a MM hair Weibo: I am not the Mona Lisa, so there is no need to smile at everyone! A friend is very talented and even got a bottom line: I'm not L 'Oré al Paris, and you don't deserve it!

7. My colleague's QQ was stolen and cheated by a liar 1000, so I called the police. The police said that the case would not be filed until 2000, so I immediately called 1000 to the liar's account. I'm so fucking witty.

8. A blind man is riding a bicycle, and a lame man is sitting in the back watching the road. Suddenly, the lame man found a deep ditch in front of him: ditch, ditch, ditch! Hearing this, the blind man sang back: Oh, joy, joy, joy. They fell into the ditch together.

9. A student with poor homework said to his English teacher before graduation: Thank you, teacher. Please don't hesitate if you want me to do something. The teacher said: You must never say that I have taught you English.