Humorous circle of friends copy

1. I asked him the other day, "What is our romantic relationship?" This is an idiom.

2. An ant got lost. Ask another ant who is walking: How did you get back to the nest? The other ant thought for a moment and said, smile or silence?

When I was a child, I always felt that someone was following me, so I got into the habit of turning around after a few steps. Ten years later, I became a tango teacher.

Just now, someone asked me what brand of lipstick I was wearing on my mouth. I showed her the way: go straight and turn left at the first crossing. Remember to tell my boss to put more peppers.

A drunk accidentally fell from the third floor, attracting passers-by to watch, and a policeman came over: What's the matter? Drunk: I don't know, just arrived!

6. Take the train. The girl sitting next to me was very cute, so I went up to strike up a conversation and decided to start with the constellation. "Well, which seat are you in?" The girl looked at me and said, "You are blind, hard seat!" "

7. I woke up and found an extra 100 million in my account. At that time, I knew I hadn't really woken up.

Eight. You add me, don't chat with me, don't praise me, don't hook up with me. Are you looking for opportunities to plot against me?

Doctor: "Can you see the words on the wall?" Patient: "What word, where?" The doctor stamped his foot with a bang and said, "You passed the listening test."

10. One of our colleagues is allergic to mutton, and his face is swollen when he eats mutton, so everyone takes him with him every time he eats mutton skewers. The more swollen his face is, the more authentic his mutton is.

XI。 I asked a child to dance, and he said weakly, "I can't." I said, "Boys should be confident and bold". As a result, he shouted, "I won't."

12. A fashionable woman walked lightly on the bus. When she saw an empty seat, she took out her napkin and wiped it for a while before sitting down. Unexpectedly, she farted. A man next to him said with a smile, I'm Cao, so clean, I'll blow it after I wipe it!

13. As soon as I emphasize keeping a low profile, you have to give me applause and scream.

14. It suddenly occurred to me that the title of outstanding young pioneers won in primary school was probably the peak of my political career.

15. Express: Excuse me, does "Little Black Dog" belong here? Me: Are you ...? Express: I'm from JD.COM. Me: Xiao Mo, there's a delivery for you.

If you don't cherish me, I will wait for you in the next village after this one.

Seventeen. When I fell on the street and people around me laughed at me, I got up and fell several times, laughing them to death.

Eighteen. Today, I took the bus and saw an old woman holding a child. I said, grandma, sit with me. I touched the child's face and asked: Is this a younger brother or a younger sister? Grandma paused and said, this should be your uncle. ...

19. The moment you get serious, it's a bit like a roadside movie.

To sum up, my success in recent years can be divided into three categories: successful login, successful download and successful payment.

Twenty one. A man was bitten by a dog and went to the doctor for medicine. The doctor was preparing to get off work, and he looked unhappy: "Look at the time, why are you here at this time?" "Sorry, I know, but the dog doesn't understand!"

22. Confucius said that if you don't sleep at noon, you will collapse in the afternoon. Laozi said: Confucius is right.

Twenty-three "If the person you like just likes you, do you know what this is called?" "That's called imagination."

24. My wife bought a new sexy lace underwear and walked slowly from the living room to the bedroom door with one hand on the door. She said to me in a charming voice, honey, do you want it? I was overjoyed and said, think about it. Take it off quickly. Let me try.