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1. The sky is gray and wild, and the days when there is no money for the New Year are too long.

2. I was interested in attending classes when I was a child, but I was not interested in going to work when I grew up.

Knights, like other princesses, come to see me with different foods every day. The only difference is that my knight has to pay for delivery.

4. You still have to dream. Otherwise, you're drunk. What are you talking about with others?

How can I transfer the money in my head to the bank card? Wait online, hurry!

6. In a high school group chat, a gay man said, "I often pick up girls when I was studying, for fear that girls would think I was ugly. Now I have figured it out, ugliness is ugliness, and I don't rely on my face to eat. " We: "What do you eat now?" Boy: "Depend on my dad."

7. If a boy's mobile phone wallpaper is you and all his social passwords are told to you, then you can take his money and go.

Eight. The Chinese New Year is coming, and my eyes seem to be nearsighted. You can't see the money when you open your wallet.

9. Black boys explain to their girlfriends why they are black: first, because I am not superficial, and second, because I am secretly protecting you.

I have a low IQ. Don't bully me. " "Never mind, I count the sun with you during the day and the moon with you at night."

1 1. White shirts turn yellow easily, and ordinary washing powder is difficult to wash off, which makes many people feel headache. Here's a hint: take some painkillers before washing your white shirt, and your head will be less painful.

12. You think the disadvantage of a thing is that it is too expensive. Maybe that's not its shortcoming, but yours.

Thirteen. Today, you love to ignore me. Tomorrow, I will have hyaluronic acid injection, face-lifting needle, whitening needle, double eyelid cutting, nose pad, eyebrow tattoo, eye corner opening, breast augmentation, body shaping and hip lifting. You can't afford it.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. What's more, one garlic a day can drive everyone away.

15. Nowadays people are more and more self-righteous. How can you never think of others and be self-centered, as if the whole world revolves around him? All for me!

16. I admire Madame Curie. She is not disturbed by her beauty, but immersed in her scientific career. Because I'm sure I can't do it, she is often carried away by her handsomeness.

Seventeen. If you are not full, you have only one worry. There are countless troubles when you are full.

Eighteen. I have learned many skills, and found that the most useful skill is "modesty".

19. If I meet you again, I will definitely pull you into the bedroom, lock the door, press you on the bed, cover our heads with a quilt, roll up our sleeves and tell you that my watch is luminous.

20. At that time, when the Titanic set off, I screamed so hard that I wouldn't let it set sail. Nobody listens to me, and nobody scolds me. Finally, I was released by the security guard in the cinema.

2 1. The exam is a person's business, but the score is a matter of seven aunts and eight aunts, Lao Wang next door, and a bunch of other people.

22. I went to get a haircut. The barber asked me where to cut it, and I said I cut my chin. Then he looked at it for a while and said, "What floor?"

Twenty-three My girlfriend embroidered a pair of shoe pads for me and put them on with joy. My girlfriend asked me sadly: Does it look good? I'll show it to you myself! I quickly agreed: it's convenient and comfortable to wear, but what the hell is that unified retail price?

24. My mother looked at a relative's beautiful daughter and said to me: Her face looks like it has been done. Your face looks like someone has sat on it!

Twenty-five Women are over forty, and men can still hold your little face and look at you patiently for half an hour. Maybe it's just the dentist!

26. I went home by taxi last night. On the way, I saw a beautiful woman waving and stopped the car. The master driver slowly stopped the car. I was very happy when I thought that I could sit with this beautiful woman. I saw the driver turn to me and say, "Go on, I won't charge you!"

Twenty-seven The chief's daughter stole something, and everyone wanted to punish her. The head quickly stopped and said, "Who hasn't made a mistake yet?" If you people dare to say you are innocent, you can punish her. "The drunk slapped him:" I'm not drunk! " "