A hilarious classic funny copy

1. My wife suspects that I have a mistress outside. I was so angry that I wanted to yell at her, "You are so suspicious!" As a result, I accidentally said, "You are so redundant!"

2. Boy: "Sir, I really hope to come to your100th birthday next year." Old man: "Young man, you are so young and strong that it should not be a problem to live until next year."

3. My girlfriend embroidered me a pair of shoe pads, full of joy. My girlfriend asked me sadly: Does it look good? I'll embroider it for you! I quickly agreed: it's convenient and comfortable to wear, but what the hell is that unified retail price?

In junior high school, one of my classmates made a mistake. When he went to the training center for criticism, he secretly took the seal of the training center and stamped it on the white paper. When he came back, he wrote on the paper: "The student can cut in line when eating because of special circumstances." If he hadn't been reported by the dean's daughter, he wouldn't have to wait in line to buy food for three years in junior high school!

The head teacher confiscated six mobile phones yesterday and smashed them in front of us. After smashing, he found that there were seven mobile phones on the ground ... The class teacher was willful and never let go of his own.

6. I made crabs last night. After the water boiled, I threw the crabs into the pot one by one. Crabs are fresh and walking around in the pot. My wife couldn't hide this no matter how careful she was, so she hid behind me and covered her eyes and didn't dare to look. I said with relief, Jia Jia, are we too cruel? Wife: hmm ... did you put salt in it?

7. Actually, looks really don't matter. Love cares about feelings, but I don't feel ugly.

8. The company's food is terrible. In order to let the boss know, all our employees eat a little in the canteen every day, then throw it away and go out to get a fast food. After many efforts, I finally got the attention of my boss. At the meeting this morning, the boss said: I won't cook in the canteen in the future, and no one will eat it anyway!

One night, Xiao Ming got up and saw a cockroach. So I squatted on the ground and talked with cockroaches for a long time. Then I stepped on it and said, "You know too much."

10. I am a famous local beauty. How small is it? At present, only I know.

1 1. The biggest pain in life is that I experienced a super storm, not only didn't see the rainbow, but also caught a cold.

12. The world was born after 90 or 00, but in the final analysis, it is still thick-skinned.

13. I have been favored by teachers since I went to school. I said that the teacher must be in contact with rain and dew, but the teacher scolded me and scolded me if he didn't listen.

14.2000 yuan Nobody rents a girlfriend to go home. Our agreement is to eat and not to do anything out of line. At first, it was nothing. Later, relatives at home began to give her gifts. A week later, she looked at me seriously, tears welled up in her eyes and said, just make do ... I don't want to return these things. ...

15. Why there are so many people who get something for nothing in the world, but I am missing one!

16. "Doctor, you see I was beaten like this by my husband. What's the point of living? " "Don't worry, skin injury, deal with it. Didn't your husband come? Don't come and watch you get beaten like this? " "He is in the emergency room."

17. I originally wanted to eat my own sorrow bit by bit, but I became fat bit by bit.

18. My father and I said, "Don't smoke. You see, smoking is harmful to health. " He gave me a white look and said, "Didn't you write Happy Holidays in winter vacation homework?

19. Sometimes punctuation is really important. A girl took a selfie just now, and my comments were good. Then I wanted to send it with an exclamation point, and then I accidentally clicked a question mark. Now it has been pulled to more than a dozen discussion groups.

20. Is the daughter-in-law more important or the game more important? Of course, the daughter-in-law is important, so I only dare to play games, not my daughter-in-law.