How to avoid the differences between the two generations by asking the elderly to look after the children?

To tell the truth, I don't quite agree with asking the old man to look after the children. First of all, the concept of parenting will be different. Secondly, liberate the old people and let them live their own lives.

If there is really no way and the elderly really need help, then remember one sentence, who is in charge!

Old people and parents will basically have differences in parenting. At this time, if you ask the elderly to take care of you and you don't have much time to manage, then listen to the elderly. Of course, you can communicate with the old man and tell him that you may have a better way to solve this problem. It may be more scientific for children to take it like this.

Watch your attitude. If you have a good attitude, the elderly will generally respect and pay attention to your methods. Pay more attention to filial piety for the elderly, the family and everything. With this attitude, the old people will depend on you when they are happy.

On this issue, first of all, we must understand that the differences between the two generations in parenting are inevitable, even if you are raising children alone, you will encounter this situation, so what we need to do is how to deal with the differences between the two generations in parenting.

Appropriately "turn a blind eye"

Naturally, we can't compromise on the principle of giving salt, leggings and quilts to babies under one year old, but small problems such as children eating too much sugar and occasionally using adult tableware can be properly ignored.

In fact, children are not as fragile as we thought. Mothers don't have to worry too much. Without affecting the overall situation, letting the elderly take care of their children and affirm their experience and dedication can not only make the elderly feel respected, but also avoid many family conflicts.

If you must make some suggestions, you must be tactful. You can refer to the following strategies.

Let the husband be a "middleman"

Tao Tao's mother next door complained to me about such a thing:

My mother-in-law always cooks rice porridge for her baby in the morning. Tao Tao's mother wants to make her baby's taste more nutritious. So I suggested my mother-in-law add some spinach and lean meat to the porridge. Who knows her mother-in-law is unhappy? She also asks Tao Tao if she doesn't like that she can't take care of her children.

Later, Tao Tao's mother asked her husband to make this suggestion to her mother-in-law, but she didn't expect her mother-in-law to fully accept it and praised her husband for his thoughtfulness.

Therefore, it is effective to make her husband communicate as much as possible, and it is not easy to cause misunderstanding. I believe that every treasure mother can understand the mystery.

Make good use of "experts say"

Bao Ma has basically had this experience: regarding parenting, the elderly would rather believe what doctors, TV and community aunts say than you.

Since "experts say" is so effective, why don't mothers make good use of it?

Shortly after her birth, Grandma Yuan made up her mind to milk her, saying that she would have good milk when she grew up. Yuanyuan's mother naturally disagreed and listed many disadvantages of milking her baby. Grandma is stubborn and insists on milking.

So the two embraced for a long time. Later, Yuanyuan's mother collected many articles and videos about the tragedy caused by milking babies, and showed them to Yuanyuan's grandmother intentionally or unintentionally. During the physical examination, Yuanyuan's mother specially brought the old man and communicated with the doctor in advance, so that the doctor could tell Grandma Yuanyuan about the dangers of milking. Grandma Yuan Yuan finally gave up the idea.

Let children express themselves.

No matter what the behavior of the elderly is, its original intention is to love children, and some things make children express their effects with half the effort.

For example, the elderly are always afraid that their children will be cold, so let them put on more clothes, but if the children feel hot, they can let them express themselves.

In fact, whether two couples take care of their babies or the elderly take care of their babies, differences in parenting are inevitable. The most important thing for a mother is to seek common ground while reserving differences, because a harmonious family is also the best education for her children.

1, respect the elderly. The old man sacrificed his old age to help his children take care of their children. Children should thank the old man, but not in a proper way. Only when the elderly are respected can they have better communication.

2. muddle along. Two generations live together, and there must be many differences in life concepts, so there is no question of principle, so don't go online. Although the elderly have many bad habits in raising children, as long as it doesn't involve principled issues, don't always blame the elderly. Always being accused, the old man must have an emotional influence.

3. Stick to the principle. When you meet something that you think is very important, you should stick to it and take a stand at this time, but you should have methods and skills to let your family know your bottom line.

4. Old people mainly do housework. Old people mainly do housework, and parents mainly educate their children. The help of the elderly is really helpful, and there will be less interference with parenting.

Ask the elderly to help look after the children, pay attention to the following points:

First, since you want the elderly to take care of the children, you can rest assured on the whole, but there may be differences in some details, but since you have given it to the elderly, it is her right to take care of it. And the wisdom of the elderly also needs respect. Generally, there is no conflict with the elderly.

Second, if she has some problems with the care of her children, it depends on whether this problem touches the bottom line. If it is a problem of eating habits, then even if I work, I still want to spend more time with my children and cook for them at home. The children ate well and the old man saw it. This is also a subtle influence. Maybe some old people have no idea about eating. When you were young, you ate well, and she followed you.

If it is a problem of living habits, then we should communicate with the elderly and tell her the consequences of some bad habits. Of course, don't talk about it with emotion, but make it clear whether it would be better to change it in another way.

Third, take the elderly to learn parenting knowledge together. Sometimes parents say that the elderly don't listen, and authoritative experts will be more convinced.

Fourth, grandparents and grandparents can't take care of children at the same time, because it is easy to have differences in life when you protect your daughter and your son.

Fifth, the husband should play a role in the middle. After all, sons can communicate better than daughters-in-law.

Finally, it's actually better to bring your own. If you really don't have time, try to get in touch with your children and do more things for them in your spare time.

Many families have various puzzles in disciplining their children because of their different educational concepts and parenting styles. In order to avoid some differences in family harmony, we can consider it from the following three aspects.

1. Clear division of labor. In the process of disciplining children, conflicts are inevitable. Old people feel that they have experienced and experienced, and they will do it in their own way. As a novice mother, she will also raise her children by learning parenting knowledge. Inconsistent views lead to various problems. In order to avoid conflicts and do a good job of division of labor, which aspects of children the elderly can be responsible for and which aspects the parents will be responsible for.

2. Maintain a good close relationship. It is very hard for the elderly to take care of their children, and the arrival of their grandchildren has disrupted their lives. Of course, many old people are also willing to help enjoy family happiness. As the younger generation, we should always care about the elderly, understand their needs and pay attention to them. A good relationship helps to communicate in the future.

3. Establish equal exchanges. Communication is the best way to avoid conflict. It should be noted that communication should be carried out on the basis of respect, accept the other party's behavior mode and thinking mode, put forward their own views and find suitable solutions. Focus on solving problems.

I mean, since we have chosen to let the elderly take care of the children, then some unprincipled minor problems have to be ignored. For example, the elderly give their children snacks, and these minor problems should not be too serious. If it's a matter of principle, such as telling your child's mother not to want you, which will affect your child's mood and sense of security, you must communicate with the elderly.

Old people and young people have different ideas, and differences are inevitable. If grandparents take care of the children, then if there are any differences, let the father of the child talk more, which will be better. Then spend more time with your children and try not to rely too much on the elderly. It is best to educate children and influence the elderly with your own practical actions.

My mother took care of my children for a short time. Although there are differences, as my mother, of course, I talked to her personally. Mom is also a reasonable person. There is no gap between mother and daughter, so there is no contradiction. In fact, when you get along with the elderly, you sometimes have to be coaxed like a child. Don't put on airs After all, they are elders, and we should consider their ideas. All for their children. After all, we are all family. Why are they so nervous?

If possible, I hope to accompany my child to grow up before he is three years old, participate in his first time and record every first step of his life. But the dream is beautiful and the reality is cruel. In order to give him a more secure future, I had to return to the workplace after he was one year old. I have to ask my mother-in-law to look after my children. So about two generations later, the concepts of traditional parenting and scientific parenting began to collide.

When my mother-in-law first came, many of our ideas were different. For example, in case one, the baby's rice should be less oily and salty, without any seasoning. I always cook it alone. When his grandmother came, she asked him to follow the adults, saying that children eat neither delicious nor fragrant, and children eat less. Case 2: The baby doesn't like drinking water recently, and the mother-in-law adds sugar to the water she drinks. It turns out that I only gave him boiled water. Case 3: Let the baby wear open-backed pants at home or outside. Wait a minute. Some parenting ideas that I don't agree with. At first, I would object directly and argue with my mother-in-law. This result just ended in discord. My mother-in-law thinks I have too many things to do, and I blame her for not taking care of the children, which makes everyone unhappy. In the constant collision and running-in, I gradually understand how to take better care of the children with my mother-in-law. Although it is not very good, we have all benefited a lot from this change.

First, respect the elders. Very simple four words, but it is not easy to do, especially for mother-in-law. There have been many contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law since ancient times. Two women who had nothing to do, because a man became a family. One is because my lucky son was abducted, and the other is because the person I care about most wants to share love. This is the fuse of discord between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law Coupled with some trivial matters, in the end, there is only disharmony, but for the sake of children, the two women have to compromise. At this time, we should learn to bow our heads and sincerely thank our mother-in-law for taking care of the children in our leisurely old age (the children are our own, and no one has the obligation to take care of them for us, no matter what the reason, as long as the mother-in-law takes care of them, thank you first). This is the first one.

Second: learn to be reasonable before fighting. Because we are at work during the day, we don't know much about the process of mother-in-law taking care of children. At this time, no matter right or wrong, we must first understand the whole process and judge whether it is appropriate, so as to convince people with reason and move people with emotion!

Third: communicate more and learn to recognize. Only by getting to know each other and learning good parenting methods from each other can we live in peace for a long time. Just like I told my baby to eat lightly and cook for him. Mother-in-law thinks trouble is not delicious. At this time, I will tell her why, only you communicate well and methodically. I think as long as it is good for children, most old people will accept it. Only mutual recognition can achieve good goals. If my mother-in-law loves to sing folk songs to her children, no matter how she sings, I think it is a good thing. If it is passed on to our next generation, I will recognize it. Everyone is the same. Only when what we do is recognized by others will we be happy and happy. When you decide to let your mother-in-law take care of the children, you should recognize this. You should be able to recognize her when she takes care of your children. Only in this way will you not feel uncomfortable in the future.

These are all my experiences in raising children with my mother-in-law. I was deeply moved by them. Although it is not perfect, I still hope that everyone can feel something.

Asking the elderly to help take care of the children is the status quo of many families, because parents are busy with work and have to let the elderly take care of the children.

Because the elderly and the younger generation are different in age and education methods, they often have differences with young people because of taking care of children.

So how to avoid this disagreement:

First, I have an advantage in taking care of children. For example, when the elderly take care of their children, both parties are at work. If they have time, they should try their best to take care of themselves, which is conducive to the establishment of good feelings between children and parents.

The second is to tell the old people that children are your children and you should educate them in your own way. Pay attention to personal communication with the elderly. For example, if the children don't eat, grandparents will feed them. At this time, you can tell the elderly about the dangers of breastfeeding and remind them not to do so. Speak your mind and communicate with each other more.

First, please ask the elderly to take care of the children. The old people helped us. This must be made clear first.

Mentality will affect our attitude of speaking, and a grateful attitude will make us communicate smoothly with our elders.

Secondly, there will be differences and it is difficult to avoid them completely.

But parents' parenting knowledge does not come out of thin air. When learning parenting knowledge, you can let your elders study with you.

This can effectively avoid differences in parenting.

Thirdly, don't talk about elders in front of children when there are differences.

Correct the children according to the problems, and don't blame the elders.

Although the elderly take care of the children, it does not mean that parents can let go. The elderly are responsible for "nurturing" at most, and parents are responsible for "nurturing".