Short and humorous classic copy

1. You can show other people's shortcomings better than the mirror, you are more knowledgeable than Zhuangzi, and you are more resourceful than your grandson, so everyone calls you the grandson of Jingzhuang!

2. If you can't hatch chicks, you are a bad guy. If you cook an egg in the oil pan, it's fuck off. The turtle's son is an illegitimate child. You're an idiot at best. Shake it yellow and you become an asshole!

3. You see a lump of poop on the ground. Go up and smell it. It seems to be poop. Put your hand in your mouth and taste it. It seems to be poop. You are happy to say: It's a good thing you didn't step on it.

4. During the self-study class, the director of the Academic Affairs Office came in and asked the monitor, "Help me find two people, I want class flowers", so the monitor organized the whole class to vote for two class flowers to find the director, and the director said, "Come with me to the Academic Affairs Office, I want to move flowers."

5. Are you full today? Did you sleep well? Will it be cold late at night? I really want to be by your side quietly. I know you never take care of yourself. Whenever I leave, you jump out of the pigsty!

6. Raise your face so that I can't see your eyes. I feel a pair of small eyes staring at me. It turned out to be a nostril eye.

7. You are as kind as a cat, as loyal as a dog, as lovely as a bird, as knowledgeable as a horse, as brilliant as a butterfly, as diligent as a bee, and like everything. No wonder everyone calls you an animal!

8. Dear users: Due to the ugly appearance of your mobile phone, which seriously affects the city appearance, the center will send a strong message to destroy the mobile phone within ten minutes. Please forgive me.

9. When you are away from home, your wife tells you to drink less, eat more vegetables, and stand up if you can't catch it.

10. Please note: hurry to the eighth floor, catch your breath to the seventh floor, want to struggle to the sixth floor, want to be disabled to the fifth floor, want to be hospitalized to the fourth floor, simply want to scare people to the third floor and jump to the second floor, just want to watch the excitement to the first floor.

1 1. How satisfied I am to know you, like a sow climbing a buttonwood tree. How lucky I am to meet you, like a chicken feather growing on a duck's ass.

12. The director and the section chief take the elevator. After farting, the director said to the section chief, You farted! The section chief said: I didn't put it there. Soon, the section chief was dismissed. The director said at the meeting: you can't afford to take care of big things. What's the use of asking you

13. Your smooth skin, rough figure and broad mind can contain everything about me. I really can't live without you, my toilet.

14. Eat fat, pretend to like it, have a fat head and big ears, have strong limbs, carry a pen, can't settle accounts, buy a computer, can't surf the Internet, sleep at night, and definitely pee on the kang.

15. Tell you a top secret way to attract a thousand-year marriage. Please go to the nearest telephone pole and say loudly to the advertisement above that my illness is saved!

16. The wife and husband discussed: "I want to put a statue of a master musician on the piano. Who do you think is the most suitable? " Husband: "According to your level, I choose Beethoven." "Why?" "Because he is deaf."

17. A toilet couplet: Heroes of the world all bow down here; A virtuous woman, a virgin in the world, came in to untie the bandwidth skirt; Horizontal approval: heaven and earth are upright.

18. This is the last short message I can send on my mobile phone. Finally, I'll leave you the most precious thing, because there's something I've always wanted to say to you, but I didn't say it-help me recharge!

19. Speaking of your appearance, I don't want to hurt you. Go to the zoo to see if there is a job suitable for you. If you run around the street like this, it's easy for the police to shoot you.

20. A mosquito stung his left arm and drank a lot. You were awakened by a sting. At the moment when you waved your right hand to hit the mosquito, the mosquito said to you, "Your blood can flow in my body!" "

2 1. Men become bad when they have money. Be a good man and give me all your money! I am willing to sacrifice everything for you!

22. The eagle chased the rabbit, but because of the rabbit's words, it fell and died. Know what the rabbit said? It shouted, you're not wearing a bra! Hearing this, the eagle quickly covered his chest, and as a result, ...

23. When I arrived in Beijing, I realized that I was a small official. When I arrived in the northeast, I realized that I was timid; When I arrived in Shanghai, I realized that I was not well dressed. When I arrived in Shenzhen, I knew I had no money.

24. I heard that you were sentenced to ten years for swimming. Didn't you accidentally fart while swimming, and a lot of dead fish floated up, plus 20 divers and a nuclear submarine? Experts say you have weapons of mass destruction!

25. After the Tang Priest drove Wukong away, he met the monster again, so he had to read a spell to call Wukong back for help. Soon, a new voice came from the air: Sorry, the subscriber you dialed is not in service area, please redial later.