[Urgent] Who can tell me where there is a sketch script about safety?

Time: modern.

Venue: at the entrance of Forest Park.

Character: Zhao: sketch actor.

Security guard a.

Security guard B.

(The curtain rises, put on the security armor and look back behind you.

Security A: I am also a regular employee of a state-owned enterprise. Half an hour before I get off work, I'm the only one left at the ticket gate. They all went to pack their things and get ready to go home. But do I dare to leave as a security guard with an appointment system? Deduct the money when you leave!

(Zhao wants to enter from the other side.

Security A: Show me your ticket, please!

Zhao: Huh? Are you asking me? Everyone who walked in front of my ticket has already paid.

Security A: Show me your ticket, please!

Zhao: Oh, the ticket gate is empty, and it's getting dark. If there is someone here, may I ask, did someone buy me a ticket just now?

Security guard A: Did someone buy you a ticket? If someone buys you a ticket, someone will marry me! I tell you, such a good thing can only happen in dreams. I dreamed about it several times.

Zhao: What I said is true.

Security guard A: I didn't lie either.

Zhao: I said that I did buy a ticket, which was signed by CSI.

Security guard a: then take it out! Then call them out. I don't think so. Tell you, every day at the gate of our forest park, there are many people like you who want to go in. Why didn't they succeed? It is because I have a pair of eyes that all kinds of monsters can't escape from my palm.

Zhao: Hey, who are you talking about? Open your eyes and see, am I the kind of person who can't afford a ticket? Will it? Isn't it just a hundred million small security guard?

Security guard: What happened to the security guard? Security guards keep one party safe and do their duty. I want to see who you are today. What's the big deal? Cowhide is nothing. (Looking around Zhao carefully) Gee, this old lady's face is a bit like the one that amused Zhao in those days.

What does Zhao mean, a bit like it? Take a closer look!

Bao An A: His legs are a little lame, like Zhao's.

What does Zhao mean, a bit like it? Take a closer look.

Security guard A: There are such strange things in the world. This stupid buddy looks a bit like Zhao. I heard that a Gansu native who looks like Li Qi made a lot of money in the advertising industry. Man, you are so lucky. Your parents gave you a face like Zhao. You can pretend to be Zhao to earn money. Maybe you can go on TV and have a TV addiction.

Zhao: What do you mean by an impostor? I'm Zhao, known as the sketch king, a famous comedian, and even Americans have invited me to cooperate in filming!

Security guard A: Are the Americans looking for you? He is a garbage collector in America. These days, everyone says that they are related to foreigners and that they are stars. No matter how bright your star is, it's useless for us to use electric batons now.

Zhao: I am really Zhao.

Security guard A: You must be Zhao. Look who I am.

Zhao Sam: (Looking at the security guards around. ) The face is a bit like Guo Xilin.

Security guard A: Take a closer look!

Zhao: The figures are the same.

Security guard A: Take a closer look!

Security A: Take a closer look. Sing: "Oh, one two three four five six seven" ...

Zhao: Do all Shaanxi people look like this? Everyone is like Guo Xilin, a natural film, video and music star!

Security guard A: To tell you the truth, if you are Zhao, I am Guo Xilin. Zhao Sam, please show me your ID card to prove your identity.

Zhao: Didn't I just tell you? I went out to travel and climb mountains with Mr. and Mrs. Fan Wei. They were afraid that I would take off my clothes when I was hot, so they put it in my travelling bag and let Fan Wei carry it on her back.

Security guard A: No! Zhao, please show me your work permit.

Zhao: The work permit is also in the travel bag.

Security guard A: Still no wow! Zhao, please take out your ticket.

Zhao: Didn't I tell you everything? Wei Fan took all these things with him.

Security A: You didn't. We invited you to visit the forest park, but you couldn't get the ticket. Why should I let you in?

Zhao: Hello! Isn't Fan Wei my apprentice? He bought a ticket. I saw a small station at the door, so I let them go in first. I went to the bathroom by myself and got separated from them.

Security guard A: Why do you want to go in without a ticket?

Zhao: I'm famous for sketching. When I went there, everyone knew me and no one stopped me.

Security guard A: I tell you, I can't let you in without a ticket. Go and buy tickets!

Zhao Sam: (touching his pocket) Oh, my God, they actually put my wallet in my travel bag. It seems that this man has lost a lot of weight today.

Security guard A: If I am cheated by you like Zhao today, my people will be really lost.

(two-person transmission)

Zhao: Brother, do you think this will work? I'll sign your name, Zhao's name, fifty! Then, you asked me to go up the mountain to find Mr. and Mrs. CSI and Fan Wei. I want to buy tickets and ten tickets. ...

Security guard A: You sign it for me again, and I'll sign it for you. Sign Guo Xilin's name, one hundred copies. To tell the truth, others say I look like Guo Xilin. I have practiced the word Guo Xilin for three years, and my hands still itch. But you can't enter the mountain without a ticket.

Zhao: Gee, it's strange that some people don't want the autographs of stars. All right, I'll give you a solo performance. (Imitating the old lady, singing) "Today, I will show you a meadow,' There is no fragrance of flowers, no height of trees ...'"

Security guard A: Forget it. You gave me a performance of grass. Let me show you the change procedure. (Singing) "Oh, one two three four five six seven ..."

Zhao: (Great White) He can act himself. No wonder he doesn't like my performance! Brother, tell you, Lao He recently wrote a TV series called Liu Xiaogen. If you cut me some slack today, I will recommend you to play the security guard in the play.

Security guard A: Are Liu Laogen's two sons named Liu Xiaogen?

Zhao: Didn't he just get married on TV? If family planning work is not done well, two more sons will be born. ...

Security A: Just make it up. Can a man who is almost seventy still have a son? I'm telling you, you just made up a flower today, and you can't enter this door without a ticket!

Zhao: I didn't make it up. It's true.

Security guard A: No, no! Then call it blowing! I'll tell you again, the real need needs to be proved. Csi wrote a TV series. Take out the script. Can you take it out? Put it in the travel bag! Can you take it out? It's in the travel bag again. You want to shoot the TV series "Liu Xiaogen". Please show us the approval from the Radio and Television Bureau. It's an eye addiction. I know, your approval is in that travel bag again ... I tell you, all scammers have one thing in common: first, write you a bad check that can only be realized in an infinite future, and exchange this lie that you can go to heaven after death for immediate tangible benefits! I won't be cheated by you! I told you to scream. You see that baby won't hit you. Go and play with that baby.

Zhao: Hi, what happened today? Last time I was a judge of Golden Eagle Star in Hubei TV Station, so many handsome guys and Indian girls pressed for my autograph and called me Uncle Sam. ...

Security guard A: That's because people went to Hubei TV Station for Golden Eagle. They left Hubei TV Station and Golden Eagle Star. If you say you are Zhao, I don't care about you!

Zhao: CCTV, what a big scene. I, Lao Zhao, performed there. I have acted in at least a dozen Spring Festival Galas. Why doesn't this Shaanxi person know me?

Security guard A: At that time, people went to CCTV and the Spring Festival Gala. Believe it or not, if you don't want to go, you will be replaced by Zhang and Wang. Everyone will treat them equally and like them equally!

Zhao: So you say that Lao Zhao is worthless in your eyes? Ten years of artistic creation was in vain?

Security guard a: that's not true either. Zhao is just liked by many people. What everyone likes is the ten minutes when Zhao concentrated on his creation when he performed the sketch. If he can't create excellent sketches in the future, it's like a hen who doesn't lay eggs and is regarded as a rooster. YiWen Zhao Sam didn't perform a few good sketches, so people have to respect him all their lives and regard him as a god forever. What's more, you can't even prove whether you are Zhao or not.

Zhao: If this remote forest can call, I will definitely call CCTV and ask them to prove it to you.

Security guard A: Save it. Even if there are telephone and mobile phone signals, you can't enter the forest park without buying tickets with the word Zhao. Besides, look at you like that, you are still far from Zhao.

Zhao: I, Lao Zhao, lost a lot today. The handsome sketch king was regarded as a tramp who wanted to blend into the forest park by a small security guard like Guo Xilin. I'm not going in, okay? I'm not going shopping, okay? (To be continued)

Security guard A: Stop! Stop there.

Zhao: Why? I'm not going in. Isn't that enough?

Security guard A: No, according to your performance just now and what you are doing now, I have reason to think that you can't cheat and take the opportunity to slip away.

Zhao: If I can't go, then I won't go. (Squatting aside)

Security guard A: Get up, you get up.

Zhao: What's the matter? Can't you squat and rest?

Security guard A: No, if you squat like this, our leader will think that someone is squatting at the gate of the park and taking a shit. They must be criticizing me for being irresponsible! Get up, you get up.

(Zhao stands up. )

Security guard A: You can't stand behind me so furtively.

Zhao: What's the matter?

Security guard A: You stand like a terrorist. It was either an attempt to set fire or an explosion. You stand in the front.

(Zhao walks up to the security guard. )

Security guard A: Look at you standing in front of me like this, planted like a telephone pole. Those tourists think that the workers are playing an attitude and quarreling with their dear tourists!

Zhao: What do you want me to do to be comfortable? Go ahead! Go ahead.

Security guard A: Get down! (Zhao crouches down)

Security guard A: Put your head in your hands. (Zhao baotou)

Security guard A: Take off the belt.

Zhao: You treat me like a prisoner! What crime have I committed?

Security guard A: Crime? I didn't say that. If you think you are guilty, tell me honestly before it is too late. Be lenient in confession and strict in resistance!

(Fan Wei's voice behind the scenes: Brother Sam, where are you? )

Zhao: I am at the gate of the park. Please take out my travel bag quickly!

(Voice behind the scenes: You answer it! Zhao came out from behind the scenes with a big bag on his back. )

Zhao: (while unpacking, talking to himself) This is the ID card, this is the work permit, and this is the membership card of the Dramatists Association. Hey, where's the money? Where is the wallet?

(Security guard B gets on the bus and exchanges batons and sleeves with A. A wants to get off. )

Zhao: Oh, my God, I finally found it. This is the ticket and this is the wallet. You see, I'm the kind of person who mixes tickets. Am I really Zhao?

Security guard A: (bottom answer) Sorry, I'm off duty, and I'm not in charge of business. (below)

(Voice behind the scenes: You can continue what we just discussed with my brother. )

Zhao Sam: (packing my travel bag, trying to catch up) You've been bothering me for a long time, and now you don't care. No, I have to see if I'm a liar today and if I'm really Zhao. (catch up. )