Funny copy of amazing friends circle

1. 1 A couple fell in love under a tree, and suddenly 1 bird droppings fell on the man's head. The man shouted to the bird, can't you see there are two people here? The bird smiled: I saw it, but my shit was only 1 tuo!

2. Me: "You weren't like this before. How did you spend so much money recently? " Friend: "Got gynecological diseases" I: "Your sister, you are a man, what gynecological diseases can you get?" Friend: "Online shopping!"

The new cleaning aunt in the company is very enthusiastic and works fast. After the meeting in the conference room, she put away the mineral water that the leader had drunk and put it in other bottles if she was dissatisfied. I asked, "Auntie, what are you doing?" Aunt: "It's a waste not to drink this bottle of water. I will fill it up and give it to them at the next meeting! " "

4. The teacher visited the home and asked the students: Is your family happy? The student proudly replied: happiness! Father came over and slapped him in the face. "Boy, who let you change your surname!" "

5. At the gate of obstetrics and gynecology operating room, the wife nervously took her husband's hand: "Husband, do you like boys or girls?" The husband calmly said, "I like both." If it's a girl, I'll pay for your online shopping. If it is a boy, then we will pay for your online shopping together! " "

6. Today, the leader asked me if I had a driver's license. I said yes. He asked if there was a car. At that time, my chicken was frozen and I thought it was the rhythm of giving me a special car. Arrive at once: no leader said: Great, I broke the rules, just need to brush ten points. I ... seven. The teacher teased Xiao Ming and asked him, Xiao Ming, you have grown up and married a wife. What should you do if your wife treats you badly? Xiao Ming thought about it and said quietly, I made her a widow.

8. Pass the security check with a cup of milk tea. Security inspector: "What's in your hand?" Me: "milk tea." Security inspector: "Have a drink!" I quickly squeezed milk tea: "I want to buy it myself!" "

9. Grandma exclaimed after watching the Olympic 100-meter race: How scary! Several coal diggers knelt in a row, one with a gun to shoot. They shot without aiming, and the children scared that one away! The rope can't stop!

10. My friend is a middle school teacher. On Christmas Eve, her status was updated to: "Students give me endless apples and I give students endless homework."

1 1 ... I used to go out for dinner with my leaders. In order not to drink, I said I was going to have a baby, and everyone wouldn't let me drink. After talking like this for a year, once the leader advised me to drink again. I said I was going to have a baby, and the leader suddenly said to me: Xiao Chen! This disease can be cured.

12. How serious is this smog? Let's just say that Xiao Liu's wife got lost in her own community and finally found it at Lao Wang's house next door.

13. Just now, I was dancing in a disco. The man said to the woman, honey, marry me. The woman said, I want you to marry me in a big sedan chair. Then the man ran away. After a while, a waiter came running and said, Miss, a gentleman said loudly in the bar that he would marry you. ...

14. Water has been cut off for several days, and everyone can only use bottled water for everything. A female colleague thought bottled water was expensive and useless, and said, "I just opened a bucket to wash my face, and there was only half a bucket left!" " Another colleague said, "water is still very useful, but your face is big!" " "

15. Men should have more girlfriends, because you can learn a lot from them. For example, my last girlfriend taught me to cook, and this girlfriend taught me to wash clothes. God replied: The next girlfriend will teach you to wear a hat.

16. I went to the grocery store and bought a bottle of iced black tea. Half drunk and found it was fake. I already drank it, and I didn't say anything. Look at the bottle cap and have another bottle. Tell the boss at once that he won the lottery and send another bottle. The boss said quietly, look carefully. Let me see: buy another bottle!

17. One day, my son asked me: Dad, why is Donald surnamed Tang? Me: Because he loves candy! Son: Why is Mickey Mouse surnamed Mi? Me: Because he likes rice. Son: Dad, I don't want to take your last name. Me: Why? Son: Dad, you like eating shit, but I don't!

18. Never play mobile phone again. Look down at the mobile phone today. Just when the boss came, I quickly said, "Good morning!" " At the end of the year, I have to look for a job again.