What will you do if you are old and your children don't like you?

Birth, old age, illness and death are natural laws. Just as the sun rises in the east and sets in the west every day, people also have a day from young to old. This is the normal state of life. But when people get old, all kinds of problems come out, such as life, body, mind and so on.

For example, body movements begin to slow down, body functions gradually deteriorate, thinking can't keep up with the times, caring for children becomes repetitive nagging, and physical illness becomes a drag on children. ...

In the end, it may lead to a bad relationship with children, resulting in unpopularity, unloved, unfilial and so on. It not only leads to self-stagnation, but also makes children feel uncomfortable. What should I do at this time?

In fact, there is no need to worry and panic in the face of these problems. As long as we do a good job of "four don't do" and "five don't do", we can solve the problem and improve the relationship to a great extent. Not only you can feel comfortable, but also your children will feel comfortable. Finally, your family can live in harmony and you can enjoy your old age.

1, four don't be the first, don't live with children.

There is a generation gap between people of different ages, and the old people and their children will have great differences in thinking mode, behavior mode, living habits, work and rest time and so on. Often collide, there will always be some sparks. In the end, you don't like him, he doesn't like you, and they don't like each other.

At this time, the best way to solve this problem is not to live with children. As the saying goes, "distance produces beauty." As long as we don't live together and don't give the "generation gap" an opportunity, many contradictions and quarrels can be avoided.

This is not only for parents, but also for children. As long as conditions permit, parents can take care of themselves, live apart as far as possible, live closer, keep in touch and take care of each other, but don't be together every day, otherwise it is really easy to have conflicts.

Second, don't interfere in children's family affairs.

Parents must put themselves in a correct position. Ta belongs to you before the children get married. You can care about this and that, no problem. However, once Ta gets married, she will not "belong" to you, but to her own family and her spouse. At this time, you should not interfere and worry too much about Ta, or you are asking for trouble.

Many parents just don't understand the change of this relationship, thinking that their children are the same before and after marriage. What we did to them in the past, what we do to them now, what we shouldn't care about, and what we shouldn't worry about are also worrying about. This has caused some family conflicts and disputes, such as some tragedies of "mother-in-law", "helping brother-in-law" and "mother-in-law", most of which are caused by parents' failure to put themselves in a correct position.

As the saying goes, "Children and grandchildren have their own blessings, so don't be cattle and horses for them." Now that the child is married, the responsibility and mission as a parent will be completed. You grew up with Ta, but you are not the one who accompanied Ta to the old age. Don't be so demanding about this and that as she was before she got married, or she will be in a bad mood.

Third, I don't promise to take care of my grandson.

Nowadays, many young people have no one to care about their children. It seems to be a common social phenomenon that children are abandoned by their parents as soon as they are weaned or even before weaning. Of course, they can't be completely blamed. Many are forced to choose, some have to go out to work to earn money to buy milk powder, some have to go to work without anyone, and some don't know how to bring it. ...

At this time, parents can promise to help them, but they must not promise to take full responsibility. If they promise responsibility, it will be a huge thankless task. The advantage of this is that, to say the least, if you don't do well and are unhappy, you can leave, because you didn't do it on your own initiative, but your children invited you to do it, and the initiative is in your hands.

Remember, don't promise to do everything from the beginning. The main power and responsibility for taking care of the child must be given to his parents. You only need to do the auxiliary work well, so there is not such a big burden. Secondly, don't worry too much about children's diet, health and education. Everything depends on his parents.

Fourth, don't get your children into trouble.

Although people are old, they can't lose the ability to distinguish things, don't trust others, don't be greedy for petty gain and cheap, and don't be superstitious. Some old people believed the advertisements of "special price" and "no money" and were cheated as a result. Some old people have a "health class" today and a "health class" tomorrow. They spend 500 yuan to buy a pot and 200 yuan to buy a box of medicine ... and finally buy a lot of "useless" things back. Can children not feel distressed when they see it?

Secondly, when you are old, you should know how to relax and let go, and don't quarrel and contradict with your neighbors for a trivial matter. This kind of thing is more common in rural areas. Some old people often quarrel with their neighbors over three melons and two dates, and finally there is nothing their children can do to mediate. Actually, why is this? People who have lived for most of their lives. It's time to let go!

This kind of thing, whether on TV or in real life, is not uncommon. In the end, not only did the old people suffer losses themselves, but they also caused many unnecessary troubles to their children. When you are old, don't be confused, let alone do stupid things.

2, five first, correct bad habits.

It is no problem for the elderly not to live with their children, but if they live together, they should remember to restrain and adjust some bad habits, such as good personal hygiene, not smoking indoors, not eating leftovers after a long time, and not interfering in their children's affairs. Although these things are very small, if we don't pay attention to them, conflicts will often arise because of these small things.

There are many differences in living habits between young people and old people. If their children are sensible, they will choose to understand and tolerate, remind them appropriately and avoid conflicts. If his children are indifferent, he will be impatient and express his dissatisfaction directly, causing disputes.

Either way, you have trained and educated them. What can you do? If you cannot change them, change yourself.

Second, keep a good attitude.

When people are old, they should not only keep a young mind, but also keep a positive mind.

Don't worry about uncertainty, don't worry too much about children, don't worry about trifles … but learn to enjoy your retirement and old age.

Can cultivate an interest that is beneficial to physical and mental health, and can complete the unfinished dream when I was young. Don't feel old and dying, but keep your enthusiasm and hope for life.

The so-called "mentality determines the state", as long as the mentality is good and the heart is not old, life will always be sunny.

Third, exercise regularly.

When people get old, a healthy body is the most basic guarantee for a high-quality life. Many old people's "bad old age" is not conducive to their health. On the one hand, suffering from illness, on the other hand, dragging down children.

As the saying goes, "a poor family has no good wife for a long time, and there is no dutiful son before the bed." The words of our ancestors can be described as human bitterness.

Therefore, when people are old, we should try our best to keep healthy, and some bad habits and hobbies must be changed, such as smoking, drinking, staying up late and so on.

Maintaining healthy exercise habits, eating habits, hygiene habits and schedules, as long as you are healthy, is the best gift for yourself and your children.

Fourth, have your own circle.

Old people often feel lonely, because they have no hobbies and circles, no place to pass the time and release their feelings, and no fun and meaning in life.

That's why I feel idle, bored and lonely. This is the status quo of many old people.

The solution is to have old friends. Old people should have their own circles and partners. In such a circle, you will do some interesting things with your partner and feel relaxed.

Because people with the same age and experience will have the same topics and feelings. If you understand and enlighten each other, you won't feel lonely again.

Fifth, learn new things.

Old people should have a little attitude of "not accepting the old". Don't think that when you get old, you are out of date, out of date, and behind the times. Just keep your distance from new things, be afraid, and set limits for yourself.

Instead, you should actively try and learn, starting from the basics. Anyway, you have plenty of time. Why don't you study?

People should never give up the ability to learn. The so-called "never too old to learn" is not empty talk, but to practice.

If you want to improve your relationship with children and integrate into their lives, you must understand their way of thinking and lifestyle before you can have the same topic, which is the premise of harmonious coexistence.

Written at the end: As the saying goes, every family has a difficult book to read and everyone has a difficult song to sing. The relationship between parents and children, like the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, is an unchangeable law for thousands of years, and it is also a difficult subject to overcome.

As the older generation, we can't change the laws of nature, nor can we change future generations, so we can only change ourselves to a certain extent. What did you say?/Sorry?

One weekend last winter, I got up in the morning to buy breakfast. When I walked to the west gate of the community, I suddenly saw a group of people around the door. The red and blue lights of1120 flashed silently in the cold wind. I was busy. I didn't look at the son of a bitch, so I leaned in. I stood outside the crowd and vaguely saw a white sheet on the ground not far away. A figure stood out in the middle of the cloth, surrounded by blood and yellow-white solids. I was surprised and turned and ran away. I am naturally soft-hearted, and I can't hide other people's sufferings, let alone accidents, so I don't want to see such excitement at all.

But the voice of the crowd behind me still reached my ears.

"I heard that is the old lady in the 8th floor? Why did you jump off the building? ! "

"It's the eighth floor! Oh, it's so sad, my brains have been smashed out! "

"Nonsense, jumping from the 33rd floor, everyone fell down, it's terrible ..."

The crowd screamed and chirped from time to time, like a flock of sparrows buzzing, and there were more sparrows in the distance, as if the place was full of food.

I took a deep breath of air conditioning and walked quickly, and finally I couldn't help running.

I ran home in one breath and collapsed on the sofa for a long time. At that moment, I felt that I was probably pale and bloodless

Aunt Zhou's community is so big that the news that someone jumped off the building spread quickly.

I don't want to inquire about it, but everyone is talking about it in the square, in the vegetable market and in the small supermarket at the gate of the community. After all, a living person jumps off a building and belongs to this community. Nothing is more exciting and fun than this!

The jumper surnamed Zhou, in his fifties, comes from the countryside and has been working here as a nanny for his son. Everyone calls her Aunt Zhou.

Aunt Zhou is a very ordinary rural woman. She has a slight hunchback, a small figure and is not good at words. She likes to laugh at others first.

There are not a few such aunts in the community, all of whom are here to take care of their children. Nowadays, young people are busy with work, and the important task of raising the next generation is often handed over to grandparents or grandparents.

Aunt Zhou has a little grandson, who is regarded as the apple of her eye and usually takes care of her children.

This aroused strong dissatisfaction from her daughter-in-law, who felt that the old people spoiled their children too much. Nowadays, many young people pursue the educational concept of "wolf father and tiger mother", as if two or three-year-old children have to dress and eat by themselves.

To this end, the daughter-in-law had a conflict with Aunt Zhou, and later even yelled at the old man directly in the community square.

Aunt Zhou is a bad karma born and bred. His wife just died the year before last. She is helpless and has no income, so she can only go to her son, so in the face of such a loud roar, she usually doesn't dare to talk back.

Her son has a hard time, too He didn't buy a house when he was old. Later, Aunt Zhou stamped her feet and was cruel, so she sold the house in her hometown, pieced together some things and bought a house for her son with her life savings.

Aunt Zhou naively thought that her son and daughter-in-law would be good to her if they gave everything so piously, but at worst they would not abandon her. Otherwise, are they still individuals?

What's more, she is very good to her little grandson.

After spending the night on the rooftop, the police seized the monitoring of the property and found that when Aunt Zhou jumped off the building, she actually stayed on the rooftop of the building for one night.

That night, she may be trying to convince herself, or she may be reluctant to part with her little grandson. After all, who will take care of the children after she leaves?

But in the end, somehow, she took the last step.

The night before jumping off a building, Aunt Zhou had a fierce argument with her daughter-in-law in the square. Accurately speaking, she was scolded by her daughter-in-law in front of everyone.

The reason is nothing more than that Aunt Zhou is too important to look after the children, and she will follow her little grandson wherever he goes. The daughter-in-law told her not to worry, saying that the children must remain free.

Aunt Zhou said inexplicably that he was only three years old. There are so many people driving on the road. What should I do if I fall and touch it?

"What can't a three-year-old child do? Our Tao Tao (the name of the child) is so delicate that you are used to it! " Daughter-in-law's voice is high and shrill.

So many people, Aunt Zhou blushed and muttered something.

This has stirred up a hornet's nest. The daughter-in-law is very excited. She grinned and shouted for Aunt Zhou to get out of her house and let her go back and forth from where she came from. Don't hurt her children again.

Aunt Zhou bowed her head and said nothing. When all the houses in her hometown are sold, where can she go?

Moreover, she is an old man in the countryside, leaving the land cultivated for generations and having no income at all. Every penny she spends has to be asked by her son and daughter-in-law. At this time, she can only bear it silently.

This could have ended here. Aunt Zhou continues to drag out an ignoble existence and can live day by day.

But things in the world are such coincidences. The next day is the weekend. Originally, it was agreed that the family would go out for two days, but the daughter-in-law was angry and refused to take Aunt Zhou.

Aunt Zhou's son is also cowardly and hateful. He hesitated for a long time, and finally the family of three drove away, leaving Aunt Zhou alone at home.

The little grandson cried and cried for grandma, but his mother slapped him to death and dragged him to the elevator.

What's more tragic is that when Aunt Zhou's son left, he didn't leave her a penny!

That night, Aunt Zhou knocked on the neighbor's door, borrowed 20 yuan, and smiled and said that her son forgot to give her money, and he had no money to eat, so he would pay it back when his son came back.

These contradictions, these misfortunes, these grievances, and the accumulation of sadness that cannot be resolved in life finally made Aunt Zhou come to a dead end.

Hesitated all night on the rooftop, and finally jumped down from the 33rd floor!

When we get old, I don't believe in raising children to prevent old age. It is good to raise a child without gnawing at old bones.

From what happened to Aunt Zhou, we can see a cruel reality:

It turns out that people are old and relying on others is so unpopular.

Especially when there is no money, this aversion will directly turn into disgust!

Even if you use your life savings to buy him a house, even if you wait on them to eat and drink day and night, even if you give them all your efforts to look after their children, they seem to take it for granted!

As long as you spend their money, you owe them!

Decades of deep affection for the calf can't match the reality of daily necessities.

We thought that the unbreakable blood relationship was vulnerable to the contradiction of life.

Therefore, don't have any illusions, don't think about entrusting your old age to your children, we can't afford to gamble.

Then from now on, we need to be prepared to fight a protracted war for the elderly.

Aunt Zhou's case may be a special case, but the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and family discord is a normal state of modern families.

In the process of urbanization, the collision, friction and blending between the old people in rural families and the young people in the new generation of urban families are always not so easy, and most of them are very difficult.

So be sure to plan ahead and be prepared for danger in times of peace. In order to be happy in our later years, we must make the following preparations.

1, you must have your own house.

No matter when, there must be a place to live, in case the children are kicked out of the house, No Country for Old Men.

I'm afraid sleeping on the street is not a good experience when I'm old.

2. Have a coffin book and a little pension.

Take someone else's hand short and spend someone else's money to see this person's face, even if this person is his own close relative.

When you are young, you must save some pension money, and it is best to have a pension, so you don't have to ask your child for a penny when you are old.

In this world, having money in your pocket is always a person's greatest confidence.

3. Take care of yourself.

Good health is your own blessing, and it is also the blessing of your child.

It is said that there is no filial son in bed for a long time, so we should take good exercise from now on, get sick less when we are old, and use fewer people.

A healthy and rich old man is a beloved old man and a poor old man who needs help when he is sick and everywhere.

If you are really old enough to need someone, if you have the ability, I suggest hiring a nurse and entering a nursing home.

Don't bother children easily, because everyone knows.

4. If you can't get together, don't be forced.

Young people and old people have different thinking concepts and living habits. If you really can't go on, don't force it.

It is not sweet to twist a melon, and the family that is forced into it is not happy. It is better to be apart than to hate together.

The children come to see you on holidays, and everyone is happy, that's all.

After all, no one in this world can be with anyone forever.

Everyone is born lonely, lonely in old age and lonely in death.

After all, loneliness is the normal state of life.

Conclusion Life is not easy, so don't make it harder for yourself.

When you get old, cats hate dogs. Just be alone. Everyone wants to be quiet.

Good health, a little money, flowers, birds, fish and insects, life is not necessarily boring.

It's disgusting to have to lick an old face to get together with the children. What's the point?

My aunt is 7 1 year old this year, my teacher is retired, my uncle is 75 years old, and my state-owned enterprise is retired. Both of them have high pensions. It stands to reason that they should be comfortable, but in fact, the old man's suffering is only known to him.

15, menstruation suffered a stroke on the train and was sent to the hospital for emergency treatment. As a result, she still has sequelae and can't walk well, so she can only rely on a wheelchair.

During menstruation's hospitalization, her cousin let his wife wait on her because of her gender inconvenience, and she was even more reluctant to part with it. Although she seems to take care of her, only she knows about it.

I remember that when my mother and I went to visit my aunt, my aunt looked at her with tears and said why she didn't have a daughter. She hasn't bathed for days. The nurse basically helped her urinate, changed clothes without washing, and even her underwear was thrown away by her wife. Later, her mother stayed to take care of her sister until she was discharged from the hospital. During this period, neither my cousin nor my wife have been here.

/kloc-in 0/8, my uncle had difficulty breathing and was sent to the hospital for examination, saying that he needed a heart stent. When my cousin sent my uncle to the hospital, he called his mother and said that he was busy and couldn't leave. He hoped that his father would take care of him.

My father did go, but during the time when my father took care of my uncle, my cousin didn't see anyone until he left the hospital.

The atmosphere at my cousin's house has changed since my uncle was discharged from the hospital. My cousin and my wife have all kinds of dislike for my aunt and uncle. They feel that the two old people can't help them anymore and need their help, so they are very uncomfortable.

I don't want to eat with them when eating, help them wash clothes when washing clothes, and don't want to chat with them when chatting. Even when my children are with them, I will tell them that they are sick and contagious.

So after more than a year, Uncle menstruation couldn't stand the atmosphere, so he discussed with his cousin that the two old people lived in the countryside and were completely separated from them.

What if I am old and my children dislike me?

1, old people and children live separately.

The best way for old children to dislike is to be apart, out of sight, out of mind. Even if they live together, all kinds of dislike will make them unbearable. Why do they put up with this anger?

2. Strengthen physical exercise and keep in good shape.

What is the most important thing when people are old? Of course, health is the most important. If you are in poor health and need to trouble your children, you will dislike your children and yourself.

Having a good body not only leads to a comfortable life, but also saves children's worries and natural conflicts.

3. Cultivate your hobbies.

If you have good hobbies, you won't pay attention to children. Even if they don't like themselves, you can adjust your mood through your hobbies and make yourself more comfortable.