How to get along with 8-year-old children

First: wait-wait for children to do their own things independently with love and patience. We are not born to be quick and decisive. When children are slow, please wait patiently and look at them with the warmest eyes. Every healthy child grows up with warm gaze.

Second: Listen-when your child wants to talk to you, no matter how busy you are, please put down your busy work or housework, bend down and listen carefully to what your child wants to say to you. Please don't refuse the request that the child wants to tell. Good communication with children is based on such small things.

Third: Ask questions-make time for family conversation every day, and actively ask children about their activities, moods and feelings outside school, so that children can feel cared for and build a trusting parent-child relationship.

There are ten knives hidden in China's parents' bodies, and parents often use them unconsciously, which makes the child's natural innocence disappear step by step.

The first knife: cut off democracy and plant the seeds of power.

For thousands of years, the people of China have become accustomed to living under the dictatorship of the emperor. In the traditional China family, parents are emperors. They don't compromise, they force their children to decide what to do and can't do anything. Children may not kneel now, but have we achieved the most basic democracy in family life? For example, have parents ever asked their children for advice on matters involving their interests? When there is a dispute within the family, will you solve the problem in a democratic way?

Parents are always used to making decisions in the name of "everything is for your own good", using simple and rude methods instead of children. And this kind of behavior is a knife, cutting away the democratic consciousness in the child's heart and making him feel that power can overcome everything.

The second knife: cut off love and plant selfish seeds.

Have you ever noticed that when you fought with your sister for how to support your elderly parents and brother, and for the inheritance of your parents, a pair of frightened eyes were looking at your performance in disbelief?

When you saw a thief break into a neighbor's door, but you hurriedly pulled your son away, did you find that his other hand was a fist?

When your daughter told you that the faucet in the community garden was broken, did you pick up the tools to repair it or call the property right away, or told her to mind her own business?

You pretended not to see the old man who couldn't stand on the bus. When the child wanted to get up and give up his seat, you stopped him with your eyes.

Your performance is part of the subtle family education for your children. Every move you make, in his young mind, cuts off the love for children and plants the seeds of selfishness.

The third knife: cut off honesty and plant the seeds of lying.

Once a child knows how to lie, he can avoid being beaten or scolded, or let the physical pain come as late as possible, and he may gradually become an expert in lying.

Children are forced to lie. If telling the truth can benefit, who is willing to risk lying?

Many children have a puzzle-why do adults lie and children don't? When the child thinks about this problem, it shows that he has found that adults often lie.

We often explain to children that our lies are "good intentions", but for children, whether they are good intentions or bad intentions, they are all lies!

The fourth knife: cut off adventure and plant the seeds of mediocrity.

The child wants to swim in the river, not to teach him how to keep himself safe in the water, but to simply refuse-the reason is of course dangerous.

It is also safe and not allowed for children to climb mountains.

Children are in their teens, so they dare not go to the canteen to buy a bottle of soy sauce alone, because the street is dangerous. Children don't peel apples themselves because knives are dangerous.

20-year-old children can't cook with fire because gas is dangerous.

Yes, the society is a little chaotic now. It's dangerous to go out and not safe at home. But how can they grow up if we hold them all the time? A child who has never experienced any danger must be mediocre. Danger is everywhere, and hiding can't solve the problem The key is to teach children to know the danger and deal with the crisis!

The fifth knife: cut off discipline and plant illegal seeds.

Children who cross the street by themselves rarely run red lights. Children will also ride bicycles on bicycle lanes in an appropriate way. When children are in kindergarten, they recite the formula "stop at the red light and go at the green light". But when they go shopping with their parents, they are always dragged by adults not to take crosswalks, underpasses or footbridges, but to cross the railing and cross the road.

The excuse of adults is that I am busy and in a hurry, but I don't know that this knife makes children realize that rules can be disobeyed, and their own interests outweigh the seriousness of rules. There are many people who have got on the bus, with children on board, with no traffic rules in their minds and no traffic signs in their eyes. They won't stop until they see the police uncle.

This teaches children that the rule of man is greater than the rule of law, and we can trample on laws and regulations for our own interests without the eyes of the executors of laws and regulations.

Who is born the most guilty? Don't they all start from taking advantage of small things and step by step on the illegal road?

The sixth knife: cut off the good and plant the seeds of evil.

The ancients said: don't do evil, don't do good.

We don't want to take our children to donate clothes to the disaster area because we have paid taxes, which is the government's business.

We won't give alms to beggars on street corners because they are dirty.

When a child wants to donate money to a classmate who is too weak to pay tuition fees, you ask him if the school requires it, and ask the school at least how much to donate. You are chipping away the good nature of the child bit by bit.

People give you too much change when you buy things, so you should drag the child away quickly.

Your colleague offended you, and you instructed the child to secretly unplug the valve core of his bicycle.

There are few green onions when cooking at home. Instead of borrowing from neighbors, let your children "take" some in the corridor. You sow the seeds of evil on the children bit by bit.

The seventh knife: cut nature and plant the seeds of destruction.

When playing in the park, take the children to climb branches and pick flowers. When you leave, the children will take the garbage away. You said you didn't have to worry about the cleaners. In order to make the children happy, feed the monkeys in the cage regardless of the forbidden sign on the railing. You throw bottles after drinking and cigarette butts after smoking.

The child's nature is to love nature and animals, but we killed her favorite fish, chickens and ducks in front of the child. Let the sad children never want to eat these animals again.

When we convince children, we use the logic of "everything is for my use" and tell them that we can harm all living things for the survival of mankind!

The eighth knife: cutting innovation and planting mechanical seeds.

Our poor children, under the double destruction of school and parents, have no idea what innovation is.

When a child asks why, we may be too lazy to answer because of work fatigue, or we may be perfunctory because his questions are beyond our knowledge, or we may ignore him because we are worried that the mahjong tiles are not harmonious.

And our usual trick is this "you will understand when you grow up!" " "This doesn't need to be mastered, just remember!" "This will not be tested!" Self-righteous rhetoric such as "no why". I don't know that this has gradually turned children into test animals, and their brains are mechanized and they can't think.

China's greatest sorrow at present is that it has knowledge but no property rights. This is the result of decades of exam-oriented education. In fact, exam-oriented education is largely the result of parents' coercion. When we choose a school for our children, isn't the primary consideration still its enrollment rate? We don't care what our children have learned, as long as they can go to Tsinghua Peking University!

The ninth knife: cut off appreciation and plant the seeds of jealousy.

When children are young, they always make no secret of their appreciation of a person or a thing, and they will express their love without scruple.

When a child tells his parents how good a classmate is, parents always compare the child's shortcomings with the people he admires, or say, "Look at how smart and hardworking people are!" " "Where are you so lazy!" Or "learn from him and win glory for your parents!" "This critical comparison can easily dampen children's enthusiasm and greatly hurt their self-esteem.

When a child is ignorant, he will say, "I want to be better than him." However, once and for all, if you can't surpass the object you admire and are laughed at by your parents, your child's good appreciation mentality will turn into bad jealousy. Jealousy, a great public hazard in life, has been learned by our naive children!

The tenth knife: cut off competition and plant the seeds of hatred.

Competition is the driving force of social development, and a society without competition naturally loses its upward momentum. Everyone lives in this highly competitive environment. Humans themselves are superior in the competition of animals, so people are born with a sense of competition. It is normal for a loser to learn to hold the winner's hand and congratulate him sincerely.

We may all be overtaken by our colleagues at work and defeated by our opponents in business. Back home, we don't objectively analyze the reasons for the failure and strive for the next victory. We are more looking for objective reasons to insult our competitors. Don't think that your children are too young to understand these adult things. He has learned from you to hate those who surpass him, and to put sleeping pills in the cups of students with good grades in order to get the first place in the exam!

Think about it, every parent should think about it! When we blame social injustice, educational failure and moral decay of others, how do we raise our own children? Put away the knife in your hand, let our children grow up healthily, keep their natural excellent quality and give hope to our society!