Essays by enemies and mother-in-law and daughter-in-law

Most women are destined to have many intersections with the other two women in their lives. It goes without saying that one is a mother and the other is a mother-in-law.

China has a tradition of daughters getting married since ancient times. Once married to someone else's house, most of them can only "marry a chicken with a chicken, marry a dog with a dog", and the husband and wife live their own lives.

If you get married at the age of 25, your daughter will only spend 25 years with her mother, and in the later life, she will often spend much more time with her mother-in-law than with her mother.

However, when you are with your mother, you are loved by your mother. Your mother is the mother who supports you, and you are a pampered princess. You can be willful at any time when you are in a bad mood, and you can be angry with your mother, but you can't be angry with your mother-in-law.

The first time I meet my mother-in-law, I may laugh like a flower, be polite and considerate. This is the meeting of two adult women. Although you want to call her mother, don't treat her as your own mother.

First of all, whether she is in a high position or a common people, you should treat her as an ordinary woman like you. She is bound to have many small faults that women usually have, such as thoughtfulness, willfulness, bad temper and meanness, which vary from person to person and have their own advantages. You must learn to accept this woman, including her shortcomings.

Secondly, when she is without you, her son belongs to her completely. Now that you're here, your son's love is split in two. You should have insight into her inner loss and accept her indifference to you. In front of her, you'd better not be very much in love with her son, let alone flirting or coquettish with her son, otherwise, I estimate that one day, she will give you some color to see see.

Third, in the mother's place, you are a delicate princess; With a mother-in-law, you are an adult woman. So you should be virtuous enough to her son, and you'd better keep your eyes down when talking to her son, and don't contradict him at will. In the eyes of her mother-in-law, her son must be the best and most capable in the world, and what she says is always the most correct. Even if her son grinds people, the right to reprimand should be in her hands. You'd better make it clear, otherwise, you'll never win the favor of your mother-in-law.

Fourth, if you have a baby, you must be a good wife and mother. You should love your children and cultivate them well. Your excellent children are also a reason for your mother-in-law to give you extra points.

Fifth, you should be kind to your mother-in-law's relatives and family. As a woman, mother-in-law is naturally indispensable. You can't just wait to meet your relatives and friends, but you don't welcome her guests. In fact, you should value your mother-in-law's guests more than your relatives, so that your mother-in-law will be happy.

Sixth, pay attention to your words and deeds. You can't be so natural in front of your mother-in-law. Because of your lovely frankness, in her eyes, there may be no mentor. You can't talk to your mother as childlike as you do to her, because it may be "the speaker has no intention, but the listener has a heart." . You can be intimate and outspoken with your mother, but you must be cautious and polite to your mother-in-law. Don't think that everyone is a "mother", you know, this mother is not another mother. Do not believe that you must treat your mother-in-law with the attitude of treating your own mother. Hehe, it will definitely make you feel rejected. At that time, don't blame me for not calling the police!

Seventh, we should pay attention to some of our living habits. Your mother-in-law may not like some living habits you have developed at your mother's place. For example, sleeping late, in front of your mother-in-law, you'd better restrain yourself and don't stay up late in the morning.

Eighth, you should understand that your mother will always be the one who magnifies your advantages. No matter how many mistakes you make, in her eyes, they are "defective". Mother-in-law is always the one who magnifies your shortcomings. It is normal for a mother-in-law to "find fault" with her daughter-in-law.

Of course, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is complicated. Although I listed eight o'clock at once, I haven't finished yet. As an old daughter-in-law who has lived under the same roof with her mother-in-law for nearly 20 years, I think I have a say in this issue.

When I first got married, I was stupid. When I heard my husband tell me that his mother patted him on the shoulder and said with distress, "Oh, look at my baby, he has grown so tall in the blink of an eye." My envious eyes lit up. I thought that with my thin figure, one day my mother-in-law would pat me on the shoulder and say, "Hey, look at my baby, why is it so thin?" However, more than 20 years have passed, and for this family, when I was the thinnest, I was only 95 kg. Once, my friends laughed and called me a kite. My friends said that if you tie a string for me, I can fly like a kite at once, but my mother-in-law never lamented my thinness. Of course, it is not without saying that my mother-in-law usually begins like this: "Although she is thin, she eats a lot and is the best in our family." Of course, what my mother-in-law said is also true. For a long time, I really am the unique king of eating in my family.

At first, I thought my mother-in-law was about the same age as my mother. It should be no problem to talk to her mother-in-law and her mother. However, I soon found that something would happen if things went on like this.

My mother-in-law brought me some bottles of shampoo that others don't use. As soon as I saw that it was all overdue, I scolded, "How to use the expired products?" Note that I used to talk to my mother like this, and it was always safe. )

However, her mother-in-law blushed with anger and said angrily, "How can you speak? How can you talk to adults? "

I naturally dare not make any noise, but also secretly surprised. Sure enough, this woman is different from her mother.

Mother-in-law and her son had an argument over trivial matters, so I quickly made a gesture and scolded her son. I thought my mother-in-law would be happy about it. Unexpectedly, my mother-in-law not only didn't appreciate it, but also said angrily to me, "I am talking to my son." What did you say? " This result made me sad at first, and then I gradually understood that how could she be happy if I scolded her in front of her mother-in-law!

In the first five years after marriage, I always tried to be an important member of the family, always strongly wanted to be the master of the family, but I was always defeated, which made me feel frustrated and often depressed.

My mother-in-law obviously has the upper hand in this battle, because once I have an argument with her, she always shouts at me: "Get out, get out …" And I, no matter how angry, can't point at her nose and yell at her in the same way!

Of course, compared with more pleasant moments, such' shots' are actually rare in my life, so few that I can basically ignore them today. However, every time I heard such words before, I always wanted to get out. After all, I had a husband and children, so in the end, I didn't get out.

Then I thought about it myself. The house I live in was bought and decorated by ourselves, not bought by my mother-in-law. Why should I roll?

However, my mother-in-law told me to get out. Actually, my mother-in-law has her logic. Her son is hers, and so is the money her son earns. The house bought by her son is naturally hers. As for the house, there is actually money earned by her daughter-in-law. The name written on the property certificate of that house belongs to his wife. What does this have to do with her?

Mother-in-law is a woman, you should forgive her for being unreasonable and demanding like a little girl; The mother-in-law is a woman. To get along with this woman, you should learn to be both wise and brave.

Mother-in-law believes that her home is the site she has worked hard for many years, and her son is the result of her hard work for many years. It's hateful that you suddenly come directly as an outsider and want to usurp the power of this family.

And you, as a wife, don't understand her mother-in-law's sadness, and you dream of getting motherly love from her. Daydreaming, of course. After nearly twenty years of personal practice and exploration, I have come to a conclusion: if you want to get along well with your mother-in-law, you'd better treat her as a woman first. Moreover, you should imagine the common faults and shortcomings of all women in the world for this woman. On this basis, it will be much easier for you to treat her as a mother again.

As a daughter-in-law, first of all, in terms of money, you should be generous and your mother-in-law should travel. Don't say anything, but you have to pay. Mother-in-law is ill. Cut the crap and swipe your card. As for the heating fee, property fee, water fee and electricity fee at home, you must pay them in advance if your mother-in-law is willing to buy food. I want to do this because many women love money, and my mother-in-law happens to be a woman.

Secondly, as a daughter-in-law, you'd better be diligent, help with cooking, wash dishes and mop the floor after meals. You can do more as long as you have time. Because after all, who doesn't like hard-working people? My mother-in-law is no exception.

Third, you'd better find out your mother-in-law's preferences. For example, if she likes raisins, you should buy her more raisins. If she likes to wear red clothes, you should buy her less green ones.

San Mao has an article "Mother-in-law", which imagines her mother-in-law as an "imaginary enemy", and treats her mother-in-law with wisdom and cunning in dealing with the enemy, and finally achieves the ideal effect. After reading that article, I was deeply inspired. It's a pity that I watched it a little late. Why else would I feel depressed in the first five years with my mother-in-law?

However, although I left Sanmao's theoretical guidance and took more detours, the advantage is that these gradual moves have also taught me a lot. In short, there are the following points:

First, although your mother-in-law is also a mother, although you call her mother-in-law, objectively speaking, no matter how old you are, you are still a child in your mother's eyes, and no matter how young you are, your mother-in-law treats you as an adult. Therefore, to get along with your mother-in-law, you must first position your role.

Second, there is no love conflict between you and your mother, and you and your mother-in-law are both in love with the same person. This man you call a husband was once a favorite of her mother-in-law, but after you came in, you cut off a big piece of this love cake alive, so your mother-in-law was unhappy, so you should understand. If you don't understand this, you can expect your mother-in-law to give you a big piece of her love. To be honest, you are really greedy.

Third, it is natural for a mother-in-law to serve her son, but it is somewhat unreasonable to serve you. Therefore, you can be jealous when your mother-in-law cooks and arranges clothes for her son, but you should learn to be grateful.

Writing here, I remembered an interesting thing: a few days ago, I had dinner with several girlfriends. During the dinner, a girlfriend said, "Oh, mother-in-law, that's too much. I made breakfast this morning and gave her son an egg and her grandson one, but I didn't. It really pissed me off. " Another girlfriend, who is also obviously battle-hardened, wisely said, "What a fool! What's the point? " ? Well, think of it this way. If there is no mother-in-law, you are responsible for making breakfast for your husband and son. Now, your mother-in-law happily takes the initiative to help you share these jobs, and you don't have to worry about your husband and son. On the way to work, buy whatever you want and take care of yourself. Isn't it much simpler? "

Another girlfriend said, "My mother-in-law, all the dishes have been cut. Her son called and said that he would work overtime at night and would not come back for dinner. She immediately put all the dishes in the refrigerator and asked me, "Do you eat? "

Speaking of this, my girlfriend said with emphasis, "Listen, she actually asked me if I would eat. Seeing this, she obviously doesn't want me to eat it. So, I had to squeeze out a fake smile and say,' If I don't eat, I'll be thin.' Then sneak downstairs and eat like crazy. "

There is another one in the girlfriends circle who is now considered to be a daughter-in-law for many years and has become a woman. Just this spring, she became a mother-in-law happily, but when it comes to daughter-in-law, she is also full of complaints.

She said, "Oh, my wife is so lazy. She is not only lazy, but also greedy. She doesn't get up in the morning and wants to eat mutton. She actually ordered my son to buy it for her ... "

In fact, she may not know that her daughter-in-law may have stayed up until midnight for a manuscript the night before, but as a mother-in-law, she can see nothing but her laziness. The new mother-in-law told us angrily, "I didn't let my son go." Look at her! " "

Because this mother-in-law is our best friend, we can't stop nodding and echoing her words: "Yes, yes. You said this wife is really ignorant. Why can't she be more diligent? " But in our daughter-in-law era, we are naturally much lazier than our respective mother-in-law, so it is completely understandable to think about our dissatisfaction with our mother-in-law. There is an old saying: since ancient times, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have been enemies, and these enemies happened to meet because of the narrow road, so the world is a little more lively and interesting.