Domineering classic funny copy

1. I am content with the status quo and secretly forgive myself.

Money is a good servant, but also a bad master.

I asked my mother: I fell off you. Why don't you sympathize with me at all? My mom says shit still falls off you. Why don't you feel bad?

4. Take cucumber as dinner, but it's hard to swallow. After eating, it is difficult to fall asleep. I want to eat stew and say good night. The doctor said, honey, it's too difficult for me to eat meat every day.

There are always a few grandfathers every month. His face changed from red to green, then to yellow, then to blue, then to purple, then to blue, and finally left me.

My daughter-in-law, 150 kg, likes to go to the square and dance square dance with her aunt. I have to watch it. After dancing, she asked me how she danced. I said, you dance like a swan. Just as she was happy, a young man next to her took it and said, big brother, are you talking about the cygnet drum washing machine? Anyway, this young man was beaten by my wife in the hospital. ...

Seven. When I was a child, my father told me that I picked it up next to the trash can. From then on, whenever I am unhappy and sad, I will sit next to the trash can because it smells like home.

My sister always rudely educates her children. After watching the news, the child ran away from home, and she was a little scared. So she changed the education mode, and as long as the child made a mistake, she ate some snacks from the child. Yesterday, she made a mistake and ate her children ... so we should try to educate our children. ...

9. Every time I watch you eat pork, I feel very sad. We are born from the same root, so why should we speculate with each other?

Every time I don't want to study, I tell myself in the mirror that I must study hard when I grow up, otherwise others will say that I am just a vase.

If you can't find someone, don't always complain, but think more about your own reasons. Maybe it's because you are too kind to everyone.

12. My girlfriend wants to break up with me. In order to save this relationship, I sent her plain photo to my circle of friends. Sure enough, she not only contacted me actively, but also vowed to say to me, "I am not finished with you!" " "

Thirteen. These days, the chances of finding true love are similar to those of being struck by lightning.

Fourteen. My family was poor when I was a child. I remember when I was in the third grade, my deskmate was a female man, which was very bad! Once, she ate bubble gum and it stuck to my head. At that time, I was very angry and got into a fight with her ... After the fight, another man ran to a place where no one was there, grinning, dug bubble gum off his head, and chewed it into his mouth while crying and laughing. ...

15. If you have a friend who wants a snack package, please click on the avatar and talk to me privately about what you want to eat. If you look good, send me a link directly. By twelve o'clock this evening, I will draw three friends and announce who is so thick-skinned.

Sixteen years old. One day, a student in the class failed the Chinese exam. The teacher called him to the podium, ready to criticize him and said, what do you usually do in class? You can't even do such a simple topic. Then he raised his hand and slapped him in the face. As a result, the idiot didn't know which muscle was out of order, so he raised his hand and clapped his hands with the teacher and said, Right … ...

Seventeen. I got ten points in the exam and was questioned by my parents. Father kicked me first: disappointing thing! Mom went on to say, you were kicked by a donkey by that score.

18. What is long-distance love? God replied: Long-distance relationship is like keeping an electronic pet in your mobile phone.

19. I have a classmate, Lei Ge, nicknamed Poisonous Tongue. Last time the dormitory owner worked out for a month, he went to the clothing store and bought a low-cut V-neck tights to show off his chest muscles. After returning to the dormitory, the boss was very excited to put on this dress and go to see Brother Lei and ask me how I was. Rego: Very special! The boss was very proud, stood up and asked, what's so special? Brother Lei: It's disgusting!

20. You have been doing good things for others. They may not care, but once you make a mistake, they will never forget it. 2 1. When I was a child, I was beaten by my father because I made a mistake. When I was desperate, I heard the background music of Qiao Feng's appearance! My cousin came to the rescue with a stereo! When I looked at my cousin with adoring eyes, my cousin said to my dad, Uncle, I'll play some music to help you entertain ... Then, my dad cooperated with me to play the eighteen hands of the dragon. ...

22. If you can't tolerate me, either your mind is too narrow or my personality is too great.

I have a laptop. I usually play games and watch videos. My brother wants to play computer as soon as he doesn't do his homework after school. I wouldn't let him play, so I put it in my computer bag and prepared to take it to the company. At the company meeting, the manager asked who had a laptop to borrow, and I quickly said yes. As a result, I took out a chopping board from my computer bag in full view. ...

24. The little panda cried and said to his mother, in fact, my father is uncle bear in the mezzanine, right? Mrs. Panda quickly covered her son's mouth: Don't talk nonsense, your father will be upset when he hears it. My father told me, said the panda. He said I was Xiong Haizi. ...