I had a high fever and didn't want to cook or order takeout, but my mother-in-law complained behind my back. what do you think?

When it comes to mother-in-law relationship, many people may think of family and marriage.

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has always been an enduring topic around us. No matter how successful you are outside, no matter how successful your career is, you are still an ordinary person at home. You can't avoid getting along with your family, and you can't avoid possible conflicts with your mother-in-law.

Many people around me get along quickly with their mother-in-law after marriage; Before marriage, my mother-in-law was very polite and friendly to you, but after marriage, her mother-in-law interfered excessively with her son's daughter-in-law's original life.

A female reader sent me a private letter. She said that she ordered a takeaway and was scolded by her mother-in-law and felt particularly wronged.

First of all, the female reader spoke:

Let me talk about my family background first:

29 years old, married for 4 years; When I first got married, my husband had no money and couldn't afford a house. After marriage, I lived with my parents-in-law, in a small, three-bedroom "old, shabby" house.

In the second year of marriage, we made enough down payment together, and my parents and his parents each gave half of the money; The new house I bought is 5 kilometers away from my in-laws' home.

After buying a house, my husband and I decided to have children. Now that my child has just turned 18 years old, I have to take care of the child at home, so I quit my job and plan to wait until the child goes to kindergarten before going out to work.

The mortgage is more than 3,500 yuan a month, and the husband's monthly income is 6,500 yuan. We only have a living allowance of 3 yuan per month, and we have to raise children, pay utilities and property fees, and have human relations. Sometimes a month's income is not enough.

I don't think so. It is too difficult to support my family by my husband's own work, so I found a part-time job with my friends, working at home, almost 2000 yuan a month. While taking care of the children, this money is enough for our family's living expenses.

Usually I cook at home, and my husband doesn't go home for lunch. In order to save money, I will get up early in the morning to cook lunch for my husband and eat it together at the company at noon.

My son is just 1 year old, and no one can take care of him. My mother-in-law will buy food and come to my house to cook every once in a while, which can be regarded as helping me share some pressure. But my mother-in-law is very stingy. She buys rotten food and expired pure milk.

Every time she came to our house, whenever she saw that we had bought new clothes and expensive snacks, she began to mutter, I really can't live any longer, and I don't expect to earn more money myself.

I laughed off all this and didn't want to say anything. Not to be taunted, I can only keep silent.

The contradiction is because I had a high fever at home a few days ago, and I really didn't have the strength to cook, and my husband had to go to work. I can only lie in bed, and my husband calls my mother-in-law home to help with the children.

I felt a little hungry at noon, and my mother-in-law just came over, so I thought about ordering takeout and stopped cooking at noon.

It took 50 yuan to order a takeaway, two dishes and one soup. After it was delivered, my mother-in-law saw the above consumption list and immediately stopped talking. Her expression on the way to dinner was very cold, as if I owed her something.

A few days later, my husband asked me: Did you order takeout that day?

I said yes, and then my husband said, I know what his mother is like. She is a relatively poor person. You shouldn't order takeout. She told me that you were too wasteful to live.

I was very angry after listening to it. I earn my own money and eat whatever I want. Why should she mind her own business?

I owe her nothing. Why should I look at her face?

Finally, when I saw my husband in a dilemma, I couldn't say anything, but it became a knot in my heart. From that day on, I told my husband: Don't ask your mother to come to our house. She can come whenever she wants, but she doesn't want to come. Just right and clean.

In fact, I especially resent my mother-in-law's excessive interference in our own lives. If she doesn't want to see it, she can't come. Why can't I spend the money I earn?

Second, the author doubts:

1, many mothers-in-law can't find their own position and always cross the line.

Now that your son is married and has a small family of his own, as a mother and mother-in-law, you should not interfere too much in the children's own life.

As the saying goes, children and grandchildren have their own children and grandchildren.

As long as there is no big emotional contradiction between the young couple, then you can live your own life, be happy and quiet.

Originally, the young couple's life was very happy and comfortable, but you just wanted to get together and create conflicts for them. What's the point?

The relationship between yourself and your daughter-in-law will also be offensive.

No matter which side it is, it is a bad ending. If you want to avoid contradictions, you must reduce the chances of contact.

For example, it's enough to have dinner together during the Chinese New Year and give my son and daughter-in-law meals at home several times a month.

They don't need your help with their grandchildren, so don't interfere too much.

When everyone can find his place in the family, it will reduce a lot of unnecessary troubles.

Daughter-in-law should do what daughter-in-law should do, be filial to her mother-in-law, but keep her distance; Mother-in-law also does her own thing and can provide help and advice to her children, but don't interfere too much in their marriage life.

Men play a more important role in the family, and it is necessary to do a good job of reconciliation between mother and wife.

If men can't reconcile the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, then the family will become unstable and there will be more contradictions.