The essay on the proposition of "housing difficulties" is urgent ~ OK, add 500 points.

rent a house

Uncle Jia: Landlord. A carefree image of an old man in Beijing, but more conservative and smooth.

Dagang: Tenant male, 2067 years old. North drifters.

Xiao Fang: Tenant female, 2067 years old. Dagang's girlfriend

Uncle Jia (carrying a birdcage): Time makes people old and keeps their families at home all day. I don't have to worry about food, clothing, housing and transportation. I say hello to the audience. I am Jia. Although I am ugly, I am not stupid at all. The son is married, and so is the daughter. My wife left the journey of life early, leaving me alone in this spacious two-bedroom apartment. Ahem! I want to rent out one of them to serve the young people drifting in the north and get out of the cradle of loneliness. The point is that I can still get two spare money for my monthly rent. Yesterday, a young man said to see the house. I wonder if he can come? Well, I will find some information from the newspaper to realize my important purpose of renting a house. (reading the newspaper)

Dagang: I graduated from college for two years and didn't have much money in my pocket. I have to find a house today-annoying!

Xiao Fang: Hey! Hey! What are you talking about?

Dagang: I, I said, looking for a house for several days in a row-difficult!

Xiao Fang: I found them all. How do you feel? This should be it?

Dagang: Probably, maybe almost.

Xiao Fang: Then Uncle Jia lives on the fifth floor. Let's go up.

Dagang: What's the hurry? You have to rest your feet after a long walk. What happened? Unhappy?

Xiao Fang: I knew you were wronged from the moment you went out! You don't want to find a house, do you?

Dagang: I said, Xiao Fang, it is enough for us to have a place to wander in Beijing. Why do you have to find a building, but you have to be hardcover?

Xiao Fang: Look at you! Only by daring to consume can the value of life be doubled. Only by spending a lot of money can we advance the goal of success. Or an undergraduate? Don't even understand this economic common sense!

Dagang: OK! It's not that I am reluctant to part with the money. I mean, if we live in the same place all the time. I can still save a little money every month. If I live here, I will be the light in the Guanghan Palace-moonlight.

Xiao Fang: Are those square meters small enough for you to be so attached?

Dagang: Yes, without the convenience provided by that hut, how can I break through your psychological defense? I really miss the day when I first met you.

Xiao Fang: I don't care that much. You promised to make me happy all my life. Now listen to me. Come on, let's go upstairs.

Dagang: OK, OK, let's go.

Xiao Fang: Remember, if this fits. We'll rent it. Don't be picky and make excuses.

Dagang: Well, it's up to you. Oh, this bus is not crowded in vain, and the sweat is not flowing in vain. In an instant, I came to the fifth floor. This is the house.

Xiao Fang: Listen to me. Don't mind your own business

Dagang: OK, it's up to you. I'll keep an eye on it. You choose the house, I'll pay. Not yet? This is really a big change in social atmosphere, and lesbians have turned the sky upside down. I can't help it, Yin flourishes and Yang declines!

Xiao Fang knocks at the door: Is there anyone inside?

Uncle Jia: I'm coming. Oh, no, it was a gay man who called last night. Why did a woman knock at the door today? I didn't expect that at my age, compatriots of the opposite sex could come to visit me at home, which really made my moldy heart see the sunshine again. What exactly does it do? I have to open the door. Alas! Wait, I'm coming. (Open the door)

Xiao Fang: Are you Uncle Jia?

Uncle Jia: It's not Jia's. Really, it's the real thing. Are you-

Xiao Fang: Don't you have a room for rent? I want to have a look. I called you last night to make an appointment.

Uncle Jia: No, it was a gay man last night.

Dagang: Yes, yes, yes, I called Uncle Jia.

Uncle Jia: There's another one! I thought it was a single woman who came to share the room, which made me nervous. I never thought there would always be a silent man behind a beautiful woman. Come on, come in, come in.

Dagang: Uncle Jia, you flatter me. Is silence golden? I kept calling you last night. The key is to look at the layout of your house. If it is suitable, we will decide to win it today.

Uncle Jia: Hehe, don't worry, young man. Although this is an old house, it has been decorated now. I live in this room, which is open to the public in exchange for rent.

Xiao Fang: Uncle Jia, how much are you going to rent this room?

Uncle Jia: Every month 1500. Pay for half a year

Dagang: Oh dear! This is 9000. Xiaofang-

Xiao Fang: You get what you pay for. You see this room is clean and tidy. It's much better than where we live now.

Dagang: Well, if I live in this house, I have to pay half of my income.

Xiao Fang: Dagang, this rent is nothing. If you have a problem, bite the bullet. You bite your teeth.

Uncle Jia: What happened to the young man? Toothache?

Dagang: I have a toothache when I hear about spending money.

Uncle Jia: What?

Xiao Fang: He said that flowers are nothing. It will be useful.

Grandpa Jia: So you two have settled down?

Xiao Fang: Uncle Jia, we have settled down. I'll take this one. Life! The pursuit is an environment. As the saying goes, an elegant environment cultivates noble sentiments.

Dagang: It's just that the price is a little high.

Uncle Jia: What?

Xiao Fang: He said that the place where he used to live was terrible.

Uncle Jia: Oh! That's right. As the saying goes, life is like dandelion. If you drift again, you have to find a place to stay. Such a nice house is hard to find now. Miss, you are lucky to find my house.

Dagang: Uncle Jia, can you-

Uncle Jia: Just now, a young couple came to see the house. Now that you have made a decision, I have to call the back room quickly and ask people to cancel the plan. (Step down)

Dagang: Xiao Fang, we should just hold our horses. I just-

Xiao Fang: That's enough! People's houses are so popular that if you don't rent them, others will want them. At what price? That's settled. A man of your age really doesn't have the courage. I am reluctant to spend some money.

Dagang: OK, OK. Listen to you. Floating in Beijing, the consumption level has improved. The quality of life has not improved, and today we have to pay for it. Ahem! Poor thing.

Xiao Fang: Well, didn't you say silence is golden? Think of it as Jinshan now.

Dagang: You reach out for me when you spend money, and you take all the money I earn. I have always been your golden hill, and my resources are exhausted.

Xiao Fang: Come on, you are a broken coal mine at best.

Dagang: What happened to the broken coal kiln? Those kilns-

Xiao Fang: What kiln?

Dagang: No, those kiln owners-

Xiao Fang: kiln owner?

Dagang: No, it's the cave owner.

Xiao Fang: Come on, he is the mine owner. Lord of the cave? You think people are monsters.

Dagang: Not to mention, some mine owners made a lot of money by logging indiscriminately. The coal mine collapsed due to environmental damage, and the coal miners were crushed to death. In my opinion, these people are worse than monsters and more terrible than wolves, tigers and leopards.

Uncle Jia: If ginger is still old and spicy, I know this young man wants to bargain. Run to the back room and make a fake phone call to be resourceful. All is fair in war. In fact, I have long seen that this young lady still has the right to decide! I said, young lady, since you have settled down. Stay with me. I still have a few conditions.

Xiao Fang: Uncle Jia, what qualifications do you have?

Uncle Jia: That's it! First, pay attention to hygiene, and don't litter the peels. Second, pay attention to work style and sleep quietly at night.

Dagang: Don't worry, we don't snore.

Uncle Jia: Who said you snored? I'm afraid your lingering love will affect my midnight sleep. Where were we?

Dagang: It's time for the third article.

Uncle Jia: This is the third and most important one. I must emphasize, emphasize and emphasize again. We must bear in mind the importance of the Constitution and must not violate the relevant provisions of People's Republic of China (PRC).

Dagang: This uncle Jia is really the city manager on duty on the airstrip-so generous.

Xiao Fang: Uncle Jia, no problem.

Uncle Jia: Let's sign now. What's your name?

Dagang: My name is Dagang.

Xiao Fang: My name is Xiao Fang.

Uncle Jia: Why are your names so vulgar?

Xiao Fang: Secularization? My mother named me Xiaohong. My father said, "Xiaohong" is a common name. The name is the trademark of a child's life, which affects the cells he grows up. He is racking his brains. Finally remembered a particularly nice name-Xiao Fang.

Uncle Jia: Ouch! I thought your father had some advanced cultural level.

Dagang: Uncle Jia, there is also a director named Xiaogang. Just because I'm old is vulgar? Like what the East blows snow, Simon is unbeaten, Zhuge Liang, Ouyang handsome. Isn't that a good name?

Grandpa Jia: Yes, I haven't heard of it.

Dagang: Of course you didn't. I just made it up. All I've heard of is the worm in my stomach. Stop it! People are like a product. Names are like trademarks. How the product is, not the design of the trademark, but the development of life depends on people's efforts. Uncle Jia, although our names are very common. However, we are law-abiding, love the society, make positive progress, never back down, oppose corruption and waste, have a good style and have a clear conscience.

Xiao Fang: Yes, Grandpa Jia. We are good citizens.

Uncle Jia: I can see that this place is quite suitable for you young couple to live in. Take out the marriage certificate by the way. Let me have a look.

Xiao Fang: What? Do you still need a marriage certificate?

Grandpa Jia: That's right. Now this society. Men and women, husbands and wives. It's quite close, really not much. I have it here. It is a serious review. It is everyone's responsibility to maintain the atmosphere.

Xiao Fang: Dagang, what shall we do? We're not married yet. Where is the marriage certificate?

Dagang: Otherwise we won't rent it.

Uncle Jia: Ouch! I can see that. You two are not married, are you?

Dagang: Yes, Uncle Jia. We have everything, but that's what we need. Don't worry about this, we will go home to get the certificate at the end of the year.

Grandpa Jia: Oh dear! I really didn't see it. Are you living together unmarried, or are you hiding in the golden house?

Dagang: Uncle Jia, we are. We really love each other. Really, it's only a matter of time before you get a license.

Uncle Jia: Come on, I'm here to give you a serious warning. You can't be a man with your tail between your legs. You should be an upright person. You are all old, aren't you? Why don't you get married? This must be Confucius' bookcase. There are many articles in it. According to my childhood experience, you must still have one hidden at home, right? Do you want to be Chen Shimei in the new century? And you, girl. I'll give you a sincere suggestion, but you can't be fooled by his sweet words. In the end, women will lose in such an informal game!

Xiao Fang: Grandpa, where do you want to go? We are in free love. Both parents have met and agreed that we should be together. What do you always care about?

Uncle Jia: Who knows if what you said is true or not? In my opinion, you are illegal. There are many things about mistresses and lovers these days. You said that you are a pure relationship between men and women, and you need to prove it.

Dagang: Grandpa, I also solemnly tell you. We won't rent your house.

Xiao Fang: Alas! Dagang-

Dagang: Let go, I must be the host once today. Grandpa, why don't we get married? Why don't we want to get married early? My mother in the country likes having grandchildren very much.

Xiao Fang: It's not that serious.

Dagang: For example. Uncle Jia, have you ever thought that our university has just graduated for more than two years? If we want to stay in the capital, we must work hard and save money desperately. We want to get married, buy a house, support the elderly and have children. There's enough pressure. Nowadays, the soaring prices and house prices have made it even worse for us north drifters. Why don't we want to get married? Why don't you want to have your own living space? But after marriage, we will face more pressure from society and family. Have you always understood these things?

Xiao Fang: Dagang, stop it. We won't rent it. The space of love is not rented. Let's scrimp and save, work hard and buy our own house.

Dagang: Yes, Xiao Fang. You're right. Difficulties are the cornerstone of love.

Xiao Fang: Struggle is the guarantee of marriage.

Dagang: Diligence is the way to save money.

Xiao Fang: Going with the flow is the status quo of life.

Dagang: Create a world that belongs to us.

Xiao Fang: Pursuing our dreams.

TISCO: Small square.

Xiao Fang: Dagang.

Dagang,

Rent is a funny story about the landlord racking his brains to rent out the house.

Personality: Landlord and tenant: 1, which is typical of Shanghai people's hypocrisy and ostentation.

2. A group of young, dynamic, fashionable and energetic HIP-POP dance groups (male/female) in Kazakh and Korean costumes.

3. A pair of disgusting young people who are deeply in love.

4, swearing and outspoken words have considerable affinity.

Opening remarks:

(Landlord): I finally had a rest today. I want to have a good sleep. No, I was smashed by the phone early in the morning, saying that someone wanted to rent a house. Well, there's nothing I can do. Who said that the house price is so expensive because of the demolition everywhere now? Where can ordinary people afford it? Everyone is looking forward to the decline in house prices, and now they can only rent it. (Eyes suddenly change) But let me tell you the truth first. I'm not a saint. I will give away my house for free. This is an opportunity to make money. I want to make a good profit! (ecstatic)

Scene 1,

A beautiful lady, dressed beautifully and elegantly, habitually put on an invisible shelf and came to the landlord's house (wearing a pair of black-rimmed glasses) (slapping the dust on her clothes) and said with a Shanghai accent, "Oh, what a bad environment you have here!"

When the landlord saw the business coming, he quickly came to say hello: "Well, there are often no people living here, but it is a little damp. But don't worry, this house is sunny, just one day, just one day. "

Shanghai G: "I'm looking for a friend. I don't live here often, otherwise, I won't come here. " After that, I walked around with my hands covering my nose.

The landlord was speechless and just followed the back of Shanghai G in circles. When Shanghai stopped, the landlord accidentally bumped his head into Shanghai G. At this time, Shanghai G said excitedly, "Hey, be careful, I am a famous brand, you can't buy it!" "

After that, I have been filming the place where the landlord just hit.

The landlord was at a loss and nodded again and again.

Shanghai g picked up the dust and said, "I wouldn't have come if I hadn't seen your good geographical position." Say, how much is the monthly rent? "

The landlord replied: "1500. No bargaining!

Shanghai G: "Oh, it's really dark. Is such a small house so expensive? " ! "Shanghai lost his posture and assumed a very surprised look.

The landlord is "cocky": "In our house, we don't look at the size of square meters, but the location. Here, I have a prime location-there is a shopping mall in the east, a supermarket in the south, a school in the west and a kindergarten in the north, and all the household appliances are good. Help yourself, stay with me and go wherever you want, which is very convenient ... "

Shanghai G obviously couldn't stand the monthly rent of 1500, and began to make excuses to leave as soon as possible: "Hey, your house is quite close to my friend's house, but such a small shack costs 1500. I'd better go one step further, rent an apartment and enjoy a high-end life. Oh, I'm so dirty. " Say that finish, covering her nose and ran away immediately.

As soon as the hypocritical Shanghai G left home, he called his friend Xiao Yu: "Xiao Yu, your house here is very expensive. Don't book a small house 1500 yuan. Where did I get so much money? " Help me find a house within 450, just a bungalow! …"

After eavesdropping at the door, the landlord said, "Apartment? Wooden fish! ! It is obviously a beggar-no money to pretend to be rich! And ...' Oh, it's so dirty!' (making trembling movements) Really? I can't stand it! Hey! 1500 yuan seems a little expensive, so lower the price ... "

Scene 2,

Several young men and women who were dancing hip-pop rushed into the room. First, they did a little hip-pop dance, and then they asked, "Hey, man! Rent, how much? " Then two people continue to HIP—POP.

When the landlord saw that it was two students, he had the idea of bargaining at random and asked, "Are you all from this city?"

B Young man (male): "Oh, no! We come from Beijing and go to university in Tianjin. We have the same dream, that is, to always create the most fashionable HIP—-pop music. We don't want to be confined to the dormitory, so we rent a house, you know? " Two people continue HIP-POP

The landlord said, "I'm in a prime location. Can you afford the price? "

Two young people wearing HIP-POP connect: "To tell you the truth, we are listening ..."

The landlord said helplessly, "It will be bad if you can't catch up with these young people, or you won't make any money." Look, you haven't spoken your mother tongue since you came in! " ... 1250 yuan, no bargaining! "

B: 1000？

G:250？

"Oh, no!" they said in unison. Say that finish, HIP—POP began again.

Seeing this situation, the landlord said to himself, "it's over!" When the electricity came, I stepped on the switch again ... "

After saying his word, the two men said, "Hey, man! Are you kidding? ! "At this time, the HIP—POP has stopped, but the dance is still there, pointing the finger at the landlord with a" gun "action.

"What's the matter, it's too expensive! Do not bargain! " The landlord took one instead.

B: "Oh, yes, if there is no one here, there must be room for someone."

G said to B, "Why don't you talk to him?"

B: "What are we talking about? He's not one of us. Oh, yes. "

G: "So ... we ..."

The two men said in unison, "Let's go!"

Two hip-pop youths continued to dance hip-pop and "rock" to their heart's content.

Landlord: "Now college students can't learn well, and they can't even speak Chinese!" " Hey, man! There is no money to play music, and 1250 is still expensive, so ... lower it! "

Scene 3,

A pair of lovestruck men and women, hugging each other (face to face, hand in hand), entered the house in tandem, without talking to the landlord, but read each other their love declarations:

G: "The fish said to the water that you can't see my tears because I am in the water ..."

B: "Water says I can feel your tears because you are in my heart ..."

G: "I am an overly romantic screw. Only your precise and perfect nut can fasten me tightly. In addition to you, the others are either too big or too small ... "

B: "I'm the P pole and you're the N pole. We will never separate and form the best poles ... "

G: "I am a strong alkali and you are a strong acid. Let's get together so as not to accidentally hurt others ... "

B: "You are the wind and I am the sand ..."

G: "You are Hami and I am Melon ..."

B: "honey, we agreed to go to the grave that day, and then there was a little twist." I was the only one who went, and I couldn't see you. I am very unhappy. The more I think about it, the more wrong it is. I sent you a text message, why didn't you call me back? "

G: "Oh, honey, I'm still talking. Your message makes me so sad! "

B: "Why? Did I say something wrong? ! "

G: "You sent me a message saying,' Dear, I went to the funeral home to see you yesterday, but I didn't expect to see you. I'm so sad …' We've only been in love for a few years, and you expect me to die so early?"

B: "Oh, dear, I was carried away by love and made a grammatical mistake, but I really love you! Even though we all know in advance that Titanic is a sinking ship, I am still willing to embark on a journey of love with you. You lean on the railing of the bow, spread your wings and listen to the call of love. (Emphasis) Even if the crisis comes, I will protect you with my body, hold my hand and let us believe that the power of love is endless, and he can solve many difficulties for us ... "

G: "Oh, Jack ..."

B: "Oh, Ross ..."

G: "If you were asked to compare' love', how would you interpret her?"

B: "Love is like ... (Speaking of love, B let go of G's hand! )

G immediately called B: "Oh, Jack, hand, hand, hand ..."

B immediately went back to G, held G's hand and said, "Love! Love is like investing in stocks! Secret love is to grasp the news; The pursuit is to buy fast; Love is to overweight into the market; The beloved holds the capital; Love at first sight is a homeopathic operation; If found inconsistent, immediately sell; Lovelorn is to buy a fund; I've lost many times standing up, so save it!

G: "Then where are we now?"

B: "Of course, we are in love-overweight!" With that, he took out a lot of RMB with different denominations from his pocket …

B: "I love you, just like RMB 1 yuan. art paper is like the first time you appeared, witnessed by the Great Wall of Wan Li ..."

G: "I love you, just like 2 yuan's RMB, the light green background is just like the grass when we hike, and our vows stay at the ends of the earth ..."

B: "I love you, just like 5 yuan RMB, light brown, bitter like the coffee we drink, and the Three Gorges of the Yangtze River like our winding feelings ..."

G: "I love you, just like RMB 10. Gloomy is simply the sadness I missed, and Everest can't stop me from missing you ... "

B: "I love you like 20 yuan, and Brown is like you ..."

The landlord has put on thick clothes and put all the RMB thrown on the ground by two people into his pocket. Later, when he couldn't stand them, he said, "Are you ... that couple in the wrong place?" This is not a church, I am a resident! …"

"Isn't it renting a house?" B asked, but his eyes were still on G.

Knowing that they also came to rent a house, the landlord quickly replied: "Yes, yes, yes! Come on, look around ... "

B and g are in love again …

B: "Honey, our favorite cabin is right in front of us ..."

G: "Oh, the price hasn't been asked yet. How do you know this is our house of love? …"

B's tone suddenly became very horizontal, turned his head to the landlord and asked, "Hello! How much is the rent? " After asking, he immediately turned back.

The landlord immediately replied: "1000 yuan, golden zone, well-equipped, no bargain!"

Gentle and considerate G suddenly changed his image: "Hey! Dude, you are daydreaming, you are crazy, you want this price ... (pause) I am dizzy! " Then he returned to his previous state and said to B Xiaoyao, "Dear, I think our love house needs to find another house. I can't accept the condition of 1000 yuan without bargaining ... "

B: "Never mind, I know you are doing it for my own good. With a good wife like you, I feel the warmth of love ... "

The two men hugged each other and went out. The landlord said: "I don't rent them for 300 yuan. I feel disgusting. " As he spoke, he took out the RMB in his pocket and said, "Hey! I didn't come for nothing all day, and I got dozens! " Just after that, G went into the house and looked out. He came to the landlord and asked for the RMB they had just declared and put it in his pocket.

The landlord looked at his watch and sighed. "Well, I didn't do anything all morning. I stayed here for nothing all morning. It's almost 12 o'clock I walked first ... "Just as he was talking, an old man came from the outside.

Scene 4,

The old man came in with a big kitchen knife in his right hand and slapped the landlord with his left hand. The landlord turned to see the big kitchen knife in the old man's hand, immediately made a martial action and said, "What are you ... what are you doing?"

The old man looked at the kitchen knife in his hand and said with a smile, "Young man, don't get excited. Just sharpening the knife, passing by. Don't be afraid, don't be afraid! " "

The landlord just came to his senses and said, "Oh, well, it's up to you. Where do you live now? "

The old man ignored him and just looked around the house …

The landlord went to the uncle to continue chatting: "I am in a prime location, warm in winter and cool in summer, and this floor is not high …" "

The old man looked at the landlord and asked, "Young man, how much is our rent this month?"

The landlord immediately casually said, "900!"

The old man opened his eyes wide and shouted at the landlord, "What the hell? 900, you have fun! "

Seeing that the old man was so excited, the landlord narrowed his eyes and looked at the kitchen knife. His voice trembled and said, "What ... What's wrong?" It's ... too expensive, I ... I have a golden land ... area! "

The old man's voice did not fall: "Your home is a palace. It's too expensive. It turns out that houses are so expensive. You still screwed up. Call it a gadget! "

The landlord was frightened by the uncle's reaction and hurriedly reduced the price in a panic: "Uncle, don't be angry, I'm going to fall, I'm going to fall, can't I fall?" 800? "

Old man: "Huh? ! "

Landlord: "700?"

Old man: "Huh? ! "

Landlord: "650? ! "

Old man: "Huh? ! "

Landlord: "500! ! 480! ..... ouch, 450! ! Forget it, grandpa, I won't rent it, okay? I live alone! Ok? "

At this time, the old man took out his certificate from his pocket. It turns out that he is from the neighborhood Committee. The old man said to the landlord in a relaxed tone, "young man, I am from this neighborhood Committee." You have raised the rental price of the house so much. Have you ever thought about renting it out? Have you ever thought about how to let renters look at the quality of residents in this area? Now that everyone is looking for cheap houses everywhere, it is no wonder that you are still doing this kind of thing here ... (There is a pause). You're not the only one who raises prices casually. I came to see you specially today to discuss it with you. There is a saying that if I don't stop you from renting a house, I can earn what I deserve. I can't go too far! Right? " Had said that, left hand mercilessly slapped the landlord.

The landlord listened to the old man's words and said apologetically, "Uncle, your education is right. I am really greedy. I was wrong. I have to change it. We are a civilized society. How can I do this? " ! It's good to have a good cadre like you! "

The old man was very happy after listening and said, "Young man, it is good to know that you are wrong!" " ! Now we must do our best to help, and we can't hit a person when he's down. You said you couldn't rent your house, but you scolded me for going. Do you think I'm right? I'll give you an estimate-450! Is it okay? "

The landlord seemed to wake up from a dream and said, "You say 450, I will say 400, and then 50 is the tuition! Are you all right? "

Grandpa was happy from ear to ear. He looked at his watch and said, "Hey, it's past 12. It's over. After that, the old lady can't worry at home ... "Grandpa turned his head and was about to leave, but was stopped by the landlord:" Grandpa, knife, knife! "

The old man came back with a knife, made fun of the landlord, looked at the knife, looked at the landlord again (the landlord moved back) and said with a smile, "Play!" " ……

end