Face the older colleagues in the company, just like parents.

Face the older colleagues in the company, just like parents.

Compared with their peers, there is no way to talk freely with them.

In this way, the problem comes. Compared with my peers, I can't speak freely with them. Problems at work are also discussed as students and teachers. Even if the mistake is not mine, the final result is that I made the mistake.

Colleagues think I'm mysterious and difficult.

I was worried about this at that time, and I couldn't get out of this so-called identity relationship problem. Finally, my colleagues thought I was mysterious, difficult to get along with and too polite. I questioned my parents, too, and they just told me not to care too much and to continue like this.

I want to get rid of this reins and return to the natural state.

I am very upset now. I want to get rid of this reins and return to the natural state. Because of my status in the company, my communication is restricted.

I hope the experts can give me help and clarification.

Interpretation of professionals in the workplace:

Generally speaking, a lot of confusion in the workplace has the following reasons:

First, the psychological boundary is not clear.

Some relationship problems are because one or both sides have blurred boundaries, or they cross the line by themselves, or others always break through your boundaries, which will hinder your interpersonal communication.

Second, interactive mode, poor repetition function. The normal interaction mode is that both sides can feel respected and will not hurt either side in the interaction. If one party is too cautious and the other party is too aggressive, the psychological space of one or both parties will be squeezed, resulting in uncomfortable feelings.

Under the guidance of your parents, you chose repression and forbearance.

After reading your story, I feel that you wanted to be yourself at first, to be yourself who is natural and unpretentious, but in the end, you chose to be depressed and forbearing under the guidance of your parents. If repression and forbearance are your usual ways to deal with the outside world, then when you bring this model to work, psychological imbalance will naturally occur.

You overuse the child's mentality in the workplace.

Generally speaking, there are three kinds of mentality in interpersonal communication: adult mentality, children mentality and parents mentality. I feel that you have overused your child's mentality in the workplace. When you associate with others with this mentality, you will put others in the position of parent mentality or adult mentality, so the inequality of role status will appear.

Family and company are two completely different occasions.

Everyone plays different roles on different occasions, which is a flexible way of doing things. Family and company are two completely different occasions. Family is an intimate relationship, dominated by emotion, and company is an interest relationship, with right and wrong behavior as the standard. Therefore, a company is not a home, and a home is not a company. Both pursue different behavior and value standards.

Communicate with older colleagues with a child's mentality.

Respecting older colleagues is definitely not a child's attitude towards parents.

Respecting older colleagues is definitely not a child's attitude towards parents. Never take an older colleague as a parent. This is a state of mind confusion. No matter what age you are in front of your colleagues, you are equal in personality. After such a change of thinking, you can confidently safeguard your rights and interests.

Clear psychological boundaries are needed between colleagues.

It seems that you are repeating a bad interaction pattern: you are afraid of being hurt and try your best to avoid being hurt. You are more cautious and more likely to feel hurt, and your efforts to solve the dilemma just let you fall into your trap. Colleagues need clear psychological boundaries, respect others' boundaries and safeguard their own boundaries.

In the workplace, we need an adult mentality.

In the workplace, we need to communicate with people with an adult mentality (rationality, self-confidence, arrogance and calmness), especially with older colleagues. Excessive personal humility, comity and unprincipled (child mentality) will be misunderstood by others as inferiority, timidity and even hypocrisy. I suggest that you have the courage to be yourself as an adult, and you can solve your current psychological dilemma with confidence but not publicity.