How to plan yourself in your forties

Forty years old is a watershed in life. How should we plan? I brought you how to plan yourself in your forties. I hope it will help you.

One, 42 years old, where is the road?

Looking through Sister Ping's case materials, I feel two words, one is heavy and the other is helpless.

Background information: Sister Ping, 42, an employee of a state-owned enterprise. Her work has been repeatedly frustrated and often criticized by the leaders. She feels useless and wants to escape, but she doesn't know where to escape.

Consultation appeal: I look forward to exploring a way so that I can go on firmly.

Sister Ping's document is different from others. The font she chose is Founder Imitation Song Simplified, and the fourth word is bold. It can be seen that her heart is full of anxiety and fear.

According to the data, Sister Ping worked as a high school Chinese teacher for five years after graduating from college. After this experience, Sister Ping's career path was extremely bumpy. She worked as a cashier in a supermarket and logistics in a property management company. Five years ago, she came to a state-owned enterprise as a clerk. With a meager income, she gradually became fragile and sensitive, and even once hated this job.

Other consultants and I quickly combed Sister Ping's situation and found the following problems:

1. What made Sister Ping leave her job as a high school Chinese teacher for five years and go to the supermarket as a cashier? What kind of unknown changes are there in this?

2. In today's clerical work, which part makes Sister Ping feel frustrated?

If she really hates this job as much as she says, why didn't she dare to leave? What is holding her back? Is it lack of ability? Or is there something else?

Second, I want to escape, but I don't know what to do.

At the appointed time, Sister Ping and I started a formal consultation.

Starting from Sister Ping's current job, we inquired about her current job content carefully. It turns out that Sister Ping's job is a bit like that of an office secretary, responsible for writing written materials. Before that, she occasionally drafted a leadership speech.

But it is such a job that makes Sister Ping feel broken.

"Teacher, is there something wrong with me?" Sister Ping was very depressed: "I majored in Chinese at university and worked as a Chinese teacher in high school for five years. Before that, I was confident in my writing ability, but I don't know why. Now this job makes me feel at a loss, and every time I write something, I can't satisfy the leader. "

"As far as we know, there is still a difference between writing and simple writing in enterprises." I said, "Sister Ping, didn't you find the difference between the two?"

"Oh, now that you mention it, it seems a little different. Last time, our leader criticized me, saying that I was not familiar with the company's business at all, and I couldn't understand the materials I wrote. I felt very wronged at the time. " Sister Ping said.

Business thinking is the key behind enterprise writing.

In fact, whether it is an office secretary in an enterprise or a secretary of a state organ in a public institution, these positions are well done and usually can be promoted to the top, but if you just regard this kind of work as a dead letter, you can only say that you think too simply.

An excellent secretary can be affirmed by the leader in words, not only words, but also needs to be familiar with business and grasp the psychology of the leader. Basically, a mature secretary can understand quickly and try to collect and sort out information as long as he leads with a look or a simple instruction. According to your own understanding and grasp of the business, you can overlook the problem from the perspective of the leader before writing the written materials that satisfy the leader.

Sister Ping only has simple writing skills, but her work requires business thinking and the ability to grasp people's hearts. Sister Ping is almost blank, so it is not difficult to understand that she has been repeatedly frustrated and criticized.

Sister Ping said that she didn't want to work long ago, but what can she do if she doesn't do this job?

Third, no choice, or no choice?

"Sister Ping, I want to know, after five years of teaching, what made you go to the supermarket to be a cashier? These are two completely unrelated jobs. " I said.

"Ah, you don't know that in my fifth year as a teacher, my child got a serious illness. The place where I teach is very small and there is no good medical environment. In order to give children a good medical environment, my husband and I came to the provincial capital city. My husband found a good job soon, but I had to take care of the children in the hospital. In desperation, I went to the supermarket as a cashier because the supermarket opened late. Sister Ping said.

From Sister Ping's narrative, I made two points clear.

First, Sister Ping was forced to change careers for the first time. It can be said that this career choice is a helpless choice she made when there was a major change in her life.

Second, to say that this career change is not without choice. After her daughter recovers from illness, Sister Ping can quickly leave the supermarket and find a career related to teachers. But obviously, Sister Ping went to a property management company to do logistics. At that time, Sister Ping had no sense of career planning, and she didn't expect that this step would have a far-reaching impact on her future career.

So Sister Ping's career path was full of twists and turns, so that she later entered a state-owned enterprise to do writing work through acquaintances. Because she was a Chinese teacher after all, according to common sense, it should be no problem to be qualified for writing work, or even if there are some difficulties, it is not too difficult to overcome.

But our sister Ping is not competent for this kind of "complexity" and has no consciousness of actively learning and resolving this kind of "complexity".

"Teacher, I don't know why. Now as long as I write materials, my whole brain will be blank. What is this? " Sister Ping asked.

I told Sister Ping that this was because this setback had dealt a heavy blow to her heart, and her brain was very clever. In order to avoid the pain caused by repeating the failure experience, she will intermittently choose short circuit.

It can be said that over the years, our' Sister Ping' will instinctively try to escape when encountering setbacks and difficulties. However, due to various reasons, she still can't escape, and she has to face the writing work that makes her headache. The more afraid she is, the worse her performance is, and the deeper her fear is.

In the long run, Sister Ping's self-confidence has been worn away bit by bit with the passage of time.

Fourth, people who have no long-term worries must have near worries.

Judging from Sister Ping's current mental model, there is still a long way to go to completely change it.

I found that during the whole consultation process, Sister Ping's voice was always trembling. What is she afraid of?

"Sister Ping, when a job can only provide you with economic security, but it can't provide you with psychological security, have you seriously considered a question, that is, is it really worth it to go on so hard?" I asked.

"To be honest, I have been struggling with this issue for several years, but I don't know where else to go and what else to do?" Sister Ping said.

"However, if you continue to work in fear, what the unit gives is nothing more than a meager salary, but what you put in is the whole life. If this continues, the body will definitely be affected. " I said.

"My body has been affected. I often feel that my chest is blocked and I always have nightmares when I sleep. Dreaming that I can't write materials, I am often awakened at night. I recently went to the hospital for examination. The doctor said I was neurasthenia. " Sister Ping said.

I asked Sister Ping, What do you value more, career and family?

"family." Sister Ping said firmly.

I seem to see a picture of a woman with heavy shackles struggling in the fog. She is wearing many chains. They are-

Work, family, health, security, guilt, self-blame. ......

Fifth, do what you can and face the future.

I talked with her about several points.

First of all, health is the capital of revolution.

Over forty years old, health has gradually become an important factor in our career development. As long as you are in good health, you can work for ten or twenty years, and once you have physical problems, not only your career development will be affected, but also your family happiness will be affected.

Second, confidence does not come out of thin air. Let's start with what we can do.

According to Sister Ping's past experience, even if she resigns from a state-owned enterprise, she can be a teacher similar to a counseling institution in primary and secondary schools. Although there is no guarantee, at least she can go back to her familiar classroom, find her former self and confidence, and find her long-lost happiness.

Third, it's never too late to start.

An ordinary rural woman, also 42 years old, was forced by the pressure of her livelihood to start selling bean jelly and rice tofu with the money she had saved, and used her own lobster sauce as seasoning. Who knew that Chili sauce was super popular, and later she simply sold Chili sauce. This woman is the famous "Laoganma" Tao Huabi.

How likely you are to be in your forties is ultimately up to you.

Fourth, your state determines the future of your family.

From the family point of view, a healthy family needs not only economic security, but also a loving family, which will not happen for no reason. However, if family members are frustrated at work for a long time, they will be very anxious and powerless after coming back, but they will be passed on to their children, which will make them nervous and anxious, which is not conducive to their growth.

The best state of a family is that every member of a family of three can do his best in the unit with a sense of accomplishment and pleasure, so that he can spare no effort to give his family full love when he returns home. Considering a career from this perspective, we should not only look at this job, but also enlarge it to our own family.

How to plan your life before the age of forty?

Before the age of 40, most people go the same way, go to school, lay a good foundation for themselves, and complete basic education under the influence of parents, relatives and friends, social values and mistakes.

When you choose to study, you should cooperate with Qi Xin. Before you enter this industry, you can study as high as possible. After all, when you enter this industry, you are a fresh person in society. But once you have work experience, you are willing to learn. Of course, there are more channels and more relative struggles. Because you don't know your age, qualifications, qualifications ... Is it worth further study? If you decide to be an office worker all your life, your education is very important to you, otherwise time is precious and you are not allowed to go the wrong way again.

At the age of 20-25, you should know how to master and plan your future, which is a point of no return without regret. You just get all kinds of rights given to you by law, so you should do your duty and learn to take responsibility. At this time, you are at war with joy, contradiction and pain. Joy comes from being given certain autonomy at the beginning, contradiction comes from the umbilical cord relationship with parents, and pain comes from trying the wrong oath at the beginning. You should start planning your future, such as further education, employment, feelings ... and get back the control of your life, instead of being dominated by others all the time.

Learn interpersonal relationships and make more positive friends. After ten years, these friends will be the backbone of the industry.

25-30 years old, you are like a sponge. If you want to absorb, you are willing to be squeezed, just for your own growth. At this time, you should be working orientation and salary. Promotion and transfer should be haggled over. Because only by working hard can you dare to fight for it actively. The motivation of fresh people in society will make you rush out of your own sky, and because you have no experience, you don't understand setbacks. Because there are not many resources, I have done everything and resigned myself to fate. Now you: get the salary of others, learn from others' experience, dedicate your youth and build your future.

Learning to accumulate experience and get in touch with opportunities, mentors are a great weapon to improve their growth.

At the age of 30-35, you should learn to judge and seize opportunities, and you should not have the mentality of trial and error. At this time, you should focus on your career and your family, and your work should be transformed from physical strength to mental strength. You should see the future, not the present situation, and face the vast life, not just yourself. Getting married is a major choice for many people for the first time in their lives. In the face of marriage, many people think that marriage is the end of a responsibility, but it is the beginning of learning. Just like some newly listed and OTC companies, thinking that their goals have been achieved, forgetting their corporate responsibilities and neglecting their own business is the beginning of a nightmare.

Isn't a person's career to run his own family? Isn't the purpose of making money to give his family a better life? But that can't be an excuse to ignore his family. A person who can't run a good family will only get superficial applause even if he earns the world. There is always a gap in the circle where he lives. Home should be your biggest spiritual pillar, power source and strong backing!

Time management, changing mood; Work with your mind instead of your body.

35-40 years old, we should enjoy the pattern of giving people hope and boundless merits. At this time, you should be enterprise-oriented, and work is just a kind of leisure, which can be transformed into responsibility to others. If you concentrate on research, you shouldn't just devote your life to it. You should have the ambition to set up a research institute and lead a group of people to do more research and development. If you are a corporate executive, you shouldn't just stay in the camp. You should be able to lead the staff and family around you and lead them to enjoy a better life. The size of the pattern will affect your achievement. Be an influential person, not an affected person.

No matter how beautiful and successful you are now, can you picture yourself in ten years' time?

Meditate! Isn't the purpose of all our efforts now for parents, for the other half, for children ... Work should not be equal to life, let alone something that needs to be managed for a lifetime. What is your motivation for hard work, health, wealth, self-growth, interpersonal relationship and time freedom? I believe that no one deliberately gives up any point. These are the driving forces that push our young people forward. Ten years later, did you finish ahead of schedule? Or give up before it's too late?

I would rather be busy with my dream than lose it.

Allen saw that there were too many friends around me who were many times better than me. Unfortunately, they spend more time, spirit and resources on the camp all day, but they can't enjoy the due price. There is no other reason than finding the wrong opportunity to refuse. Don't let the busyness blind you and look back: Lian Po is too old to eat?

;