Conflict caused by swing fracture

Yesterday, I went to a friend's house. My friend's daughter is about the same age as mine. They grew up playing together and have deep feelings. Every time they meet, they always stick together and are very happy.

In the evening, they take their friends' dogs to play in the community. 10 minutes later, I was chatting with my friends at home, and a quick knock on the door was accompanied by the crying of my friends and children. As soon as the door opened, my friend's daughter burst into tears and pointed to her finger and said, "My ... hand ... finger hurts ... it hurts!" Hey. " The daughter also looked at her little friend with a nervous face. My friend and I took a closer look. My friend's daughter's left middle finger is twisted and tends to fracture. We immediately calmed the children's emotions and asked two fathers to take them to the hospital for emergency treatment. After the child left, we calmed down a little and asked our daughter to tell us what happened. It turns out that two children are playing in the recreation area of the community, their daughter is playing the horizontal bar, and their friend's daughter is playing on the swing. As a result, before swinging twice, one side of the chain suddenly broke, and the child fell off the swing and instinctively supported the ground with his hands. As a result, it is estimated that the force was too strong and the finger was injured. It's terrible that the swing broke after a good swing. Knowing what happened, my friend decided to respond to the property immediately.

The three of us came to the property office together, passed by the swing and happened to see the broken swing hanging on the ground, so we took a photo conveniently. After responding well to the property, the property said that it would respond to the leader, so let us pay close attention to the child's treatment first. When we came out of the property and passed the swing again, we found that the swing was actually restored. We have studied it for a long time and don't know how the swing was restored. At this moment, a child came over, sat on the swing and began to swing. The daughter immediately stopped: "This swing is broken. Just now, when a girl was playing on the swing, the swing broke, and the girl fell and hurt her hand. Don't sway. " After hearing this, the children's father nodded his thanks and left with the children. I don't know who put the faulty swing back. If an unsuspecting child keeps swinging, is it possible to get hurt again? With this in mind, we will report back to the property. The property will still report to the superior, don't worry.

At this moment, the child was injured, and we were very worried. We also needed others to understand our feelings and concerns about safety. So we came to the swing again and thought about how the swing was broken and how it was put back. When I was studying on the swing, a man of about 50 came (it was later learned that it was the director of the engineering department and the property manager) and he communicated with us.

Director of Engineering Department: Is your child injured?

Friend: Yes, I fell off the swing and hurt my finger. I have been sent to the hospital. What we need at this time is to care about the child's injury.

Director of engineering department: the swing itself is fine and can't be broken. In the past, there were six or seven times when people fell off the swing here, but they were basically because they were not sitting properly, fell down, or buckled and swayed. The director doesn't care about people at all. He starts to explain and then passes the buck. His words are a model of conflict. From what he said, we heard that there is no problem with the quality of the swing. People who were injured before were all caused by their irregular swings or naughty swings, so your child's injury must be his own problem. Sure enough, as soon as this was said, my friend immediately exploded. Considering the needs of the director of the engineering department, perhaps as the person in charge of managing the residential project, he is worried that there is something wrong with the residential items and he will bear the responsibility himself, so he will try his best to prove that it is man-made rather than the items themselves. However, evasive and accusatory expressions with tendentiousness can easily lead to conflicts. )

Friend: "I don't like it when you say that." If the swing is good, how can it be inexplicably broken? " Daughter 13 years old, gentle since childhood. She is not the kind of person to fool around. It is a fact that she swings well, but the swing is inexplicably broken. How can you say that this swing is okay! "

The daughter added, "By the way, when Yuanyuan was swinging just now, an uncle was playing with his children. He saw the whole process. Yuanyuan used to swing once or twice before, and the swing broke. She fell, and her uncle picked Yuanyuan up and asked her if she was okay. "

Friend: "to take a step back, if the swing is really opened by the child himself, the swing can be opened by the child at will, which is also a safety hazard and should be removed."

Director of the Engineering Department (especially loudly): "All swings are installed in this way. You can see that this swing is very good. Things are not good now. Why do you want to take it down? "

I said, "Anyway, a child fell off the swing. For the safety of other children in the community, I think it is necessary to remove the swing, so as to prevent unsuspecting children from continuing to play. A few children came to play just now, and we stopped them. "

Director of engineering department: "This swing is fine, so they can play it." (repeatedly stressed that the swing is good and will not be dismantled. )

My friend is too angry to communicate with the director. I took my friend and we went to the property office together. However, the property management office did nothing. I thought that since the engineering department thought it was okay, it should not be a big problem.

At this moment, I felt this feeling. I don't want to judge others. However, I find it really difficult to empathize with others' feelings. We feel uneasy when we see children injured, and we need a sense of security. We need others to pay attention to the safety of the community, and we can pay attention to the swing problem and take measures. However, in the face of children's injuries, the property and engineering departments are indifferent and eager to clear their responsibilities. In the face of their inaction, our needs are not met, and our hearts are full of loss and anger.

With an indomitable attitude, we came to the swing again, carefully studied the interfaces on both sides of the swing, and finally found the problem. The original interface on one side is rusty and loose. When you gently press the connector, the chain will be cut off from the connector and fall out. It is estimated that when Yuanyuan was shaking, during the shaking process, the chain just swayed to the joint and slipped out. The joints on both sides of the chain are rusted, but the joints are completely loose. For such a serious safety problem, in order to clear up your responsibilities, you can disregard safety and insist that there is no problem. This reminds me of another question: What makes people afraid to take responsibility? Will you be punished for taking responsibility? Deducted the money? Be demoted? If you don't admit the facts, you don't exist, so you don't have to bear the consequences? Before every big event, there are 500 small things that are not taken seriously. Later, I compared the swings in my community and found that all swings do have interfaces, but the swing buckles in our community are locked and cannot be unscrewed by hand. )

After figuring out how to open the swing, we took it apart for the safety of the children behind us. However, within two minutes, as soon as we walked away, it was put back to its original state by the director of the engineering department. Finally, the daughter and the community security guard told the story. After the security guard carefully inspected the swing, he found that there were serious hidden dangers. Then he removed the whole swing base and put it in the property office, and things were solved. People can see the essence of things when it has nothing to do with their own interests, but when it comes to their own interests, some people can blind their own eyes and ignore the safety of others. )

Follow-up: Although this article is a non-violent practice, I did not consciously use non-violent communication skills when the conflict occurred. Maybe it's an emergency and I can't practice at home, so my subconscious reaction will come out immediately. Perhaps in the face of real conflict, non-violence is a great test of all comprehensive abilities. The four seemingly simple points are really complicated to use, only reading-practice-reflection-internalization-application.