Take the initiative, choose happiness and live as brightly as the sun.

Successful people are proactive. What successful people often say is: "What can I do for you?" Nothing is impossible in their world. Nicole Kelly, who won the Miss Iowa beauty pageant, is such a positive and optimistic person. Her left arm was only half broken, but she became a beautiful spokesperson.

Little Kelly was born with only the second half of her left arm. Nevertheless, her parents took good care of her, so Kelly developed a lively and optimistic personality. When someone asked her why her left arm was only half, Kelly joked, "It was bitten by a shark." Kelly is always positive and optimistic, and her smile is very bright.

She trained hard for four months in order to take part in the beauty contest. On the day of the competition, Kelly's sunshine and wisdom impressed the judges. During the talent show, Kelly sang the classic song "The Witch Prequel" and "Against Gravity". Kelly sang loudly: "I want to fly against gravity, and no one can stop me again." I don't want to accept my fate, just because others say it should be. " Maybe some things can't be changed, but how can you be sure without trying? "This is Kelly's voice.

Kelly didn't stop after winning the title of "Miss Iowa". Not long ago, Kelly was awarded the Jefferson Prize, which was awarded to those who made contributions to the community and public services.

Maybe you will think, where does Kelly's motivation for success come from?

Stephen Covey, a great thinker in American academic circles, found that parents' meticulous love for their children would lower their self-evaluation. Parents can't cultivate their children's inner security by comparing them with others. Parents convey to their children: "Parents don't need to protect you, you have no problem." Children can affirm their self-worth, gradually become confident and gradually develop their potential.

In children's "getting ahead" achievements, spontaneous factors play a greater role than external influences.

Some people lose their family and personal life in the pursuit of success, their children become disobedient and their marriages become unremarkable.

"Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" will tell you seven efficient rules of successful people, so that you can rediscover yourself, improve yourself and make your life more complete on the road of pursuing success.

Seven Habits of Highly Effective People is the work of Dr. Stephen Covey, the founder of Franklin Covey Company. He is an adviser to former US President Bill Clinton and "the most forward-looking management thinker" recommended by The Economist magazine. His ideological achievements go hand in hand with Carnegie, Drucker and Jack Welch, and he enjoys a long-standing reputation in the fields of leadership management theory, family and interpersonal relationship, personal management and so on.

The first rule of "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" is "Proactive", which changes our previous cognition of things' mistakes, makes us change from passive thinking to active thinking mode, and understands three aspects: actively overcoming passivity, paying attention to circles and circle of influence, and coping with mistakes, so that we can see the power of active thinking transformation.

0 1 ︱ Let the initiative overcome the passive.

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Proactive can overcome all kinds of difficulties. Once, when the owner of a residential area participated in a marketing activity organized by a residential real estate company, the owner's mother and children in Room 302, Unit 2, Building 13 ate the cake provided by the activity and vomited and diarrhea at home. The owner asked the real estate company for compensation, and the real estate company handed the matter over to the property company for handling.

At that time, the project manager and customer service manager of the property management company were responsible for coordinating this matter, and the owner was emotional. In order to safeguard the interests of the company, the two responsible persons who coordinated the matter could not agree to the claim on their own initiative, which led to a confrontation with the owner. The two sides held their own words and were deadlocked. The owner of the car is going to find the news media to expose this matter, and things are getting worse.

Manager Li, who is responsible for handling complaints to the company level, took over this matter, and many people felt that it was an inextricable knot. Manager Li met with the owner together with the project customer service manager after knowing the whole situation.

Manager Li told all employees not to argue with the owner and let the owner finish what he wanted to say. On the day of the meeting, the boss told manager Li everything. At the beginning of communication, the owner was emotional. In the process of communication, Manager Li kept communicating with the owner to let the owner express all his ideas. Two hours later, the owner's ultimate appeal was to let the real estate company compensate, but his attitude was not so firm.

Manager Li greeted the owner's mother and children, enlightened the owner, told the owner that the real estate company and the real estate company were the same, and would provide her with better services in the future, and advised the owner that there was no problem with the health of the mother and children, and the owner had no evidence to prove that the food provided by the real estate company caused their mother and son to have diarrhea. It was meaningless for both sides to make a scene. After listening to manager Li's persuasion, the owner did not pursue it again.

Manager Li and the customer service manager sent the owner out of the property service center together and said to the customer service staff, "This owner should come often in the future and deal with anything in time." The owner's news media exposed the crisis and solved it.

Manager Li was able to resolve the complaint crisis because he didn't take a passive evasive attitude like the first two managers in charge of coordinating this matter, but actively communicated with the other party, guiding the owners to change their wrong ideas in communication, letting them vent their grievances and actively solving their complaints.

In the face of difficulties, everyone has different coping styles. Some people actively try to find a way until the problem is solved, while others just complain, let the problem continue to enlarge and make mistakes again and again. Different attitudes will have different results.

Proactive people have positive energy, they can self-motivate, take responsibility spontaneously, solve problems without giving themselves various reasons. A proactive person will not be influenced by the external environment, and can find the right direction even in a bad environment.

Passive people are easily influenced by weather and environment, and are easily bound by external conditions. What others say, whether the weather is good or bad, will affect your mood. They are easily emotional, driven by environmental conditions, and have no self-confidence and are not strong enough.

Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "No one can hurt you unless you want to", telling us that as long as we are strong inside, nothing can beat us, and active thinking can be trained and changed. Only by actively overcoming passivity can we have a strong will, stimulate potential, transcend pain and environment and make life more valuable.

02% of the attention circle and circle of influence.

When I first saw the terms "attention circle, circle of influence", the "attention circle" that came to my mind at the first time was that you attract whatever you pay attention to, the good attracts the good and the bad attracts the bad, just like the law of attraction mentioned in The Secret. And "circle of influence" means that the greater your energy, the greater your influence, and circle of influence can expand continuously.

Stephen Covey believes that a person pays special attention to issues in his time and energy, such as family, marriage, career, study, making money, aerospace science and technology, international situation and so on. , can be included in the "attention circle", attention circle can control the things that constitute the "circle of influence", there are things beyond the scope of personal ability can't control.

Proactive people pay attention to "circle of influence". They know that they should grasp what they can control, master their own destiny and focus on what they can do, so they are positive and optimistic from beginning to end because they focus on the "sphere of influence". With the improvement of their abilities, their circle of influence is getting bigger and bigger.

Passive people focus on the "attention circle" because they are concerned about things that they can't grasp, will be drawn by the outside world and environment, and will be easily influenced by the behavior of others. If they can't get satisfactory results, they will stare at other people's weaknesses and complain. Focusing on the circle of concern, I am easily subject to external conditions, naturally I will not take the initiative to think about changing the status quo, and I have no initiative.

Stephen Covey's son had some trouble at school. He and his wife Sandra realized that it was useless to worry, because they were worried about things they couldn't grasp, so he and his wife changed their thinking mode, paid attention to what they could grasp, and tried to talk to circle of influence about their thinking mode. They gained positive energy and influenced their son.

Stephen Covey tells us that problems can be divided into three categories:

First,? Problems that can be directly controlled (problems related to your own behavior) can be solved by cultivating correct habits.

Second,? Problems that can be indirectly controlled (problems related to other people's behavior) can be solved by influencing each other without tit for tat.

Lead by example and influence each other.

Third,? Problems beyond our control (problems beyond our control), we should face them with a happy smile and learn to face them calmly.

Not affected by problems.

Since the sphere of influence is under our direct control, we should expand the sphere of influence and improve our influence within our power. No matter what kind of problems you encounter, the solution is in your own hands. We can change ourselves, set an example in circle of influence by correct habits, means and methods, and actively exert our greater influence.

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03 ︱ "Wrong" Coping Style

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Everyone makes mistakes, and how to face them after making mistakes is what we need to focus on.

Once upon a time, there was a magazine editor named Zhang. Many people think that he is a talented scholar in the media field and give him money to support him to start a weekly magazine. During the establishment of the weekly magazine, he led his employees to work hard every day, but the weekly magazine was not well run.

Every day, he constantly studies the content, research and distribution, research and publicity, and has never done it well. The investors have spent all their money. I can't support it when I read magazines.

One day, he said to his employees, "I feel that we have not done a good job for so many years." I'm really sorry for everyone. I didn't take you well. I am sorry for you young people, wasting your precious youth time, and working together with me has yielded no results. It's my failure, my incompetence, all my fault. " We stopped publishing for a month. I don't want to delay your future and waste your time. Think about it. Do we have to do it again? "

A month later, editor Zhang found that everyone had changed. In the past, everyone pretended to be tall and said something that others didn't understand, and everyone was not practical.

Editor-in-chief Zhang realized his mistake and corrected himself. Under his influence, everyone worked hard and sought truth from facts. The weekly magazine is getting better and better, and it has always been the magazine with the largest circulation in the region.

Editor-in-chief Zhang found his own mistakes and was able to adjust his mentality and change himself in time. Just like a mirror, many employees can face up to their mistakes and make changes, thus leading the company to the right development path.

There is nothing terrible about making mistakes. The terrible thing is that in the face of the wrong bad attitude, dealing with the wrong choice will often have great consequences.

If you don't admit your mistakes, you can only put them on yourself, which will get farther and farther away from the right track of your life and bring deep harm to yourself and your family. If parents are people who are wrong and refuse to admit their mistakes, then children will also become people who evade their responsibilities, and the final harm will eventually return to their parents.

When dealing with mistakes, we should deeply reflect on ourselves, realize where we are wrong, have the courage to bear the consequences, apologize to those who have been hurt by our mistakes, and value peace. Only by admitting your mistakes can you learn from the failed results and move towards real success.

The mistakes at the starting point are not terrible, and there is still a chance to correct them. The terrible thing is to carry out the mistakes to the end, and every mistake will last until the next moment, so correcting mistakes in time can make life less detours. In the face of mistakes, we will actively correct them and we will regain our strength.

Changing from negative thinking to positive thinking is in your mind. The first rule of "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" is "initiative", which is the cornerstone of everything. Without correct thinking, everything will be off track. Only when we are full of positive energy will our life be full of sunshine.

Positive people see an opportunity in every worry, while negative people see some kind of worry in every opportunity.

Turn yourself into a proactive person, and you will see a different self. This different self will bring you a happy and rich life.