Why can’t I stick to something that is obviously good for me?

Habit is the daughter of behavior, but the daughter in turn raises her mother and gives birth to her own daughter in the image of her mother, only more beautiful and luckier.

——Jay Taylor

Someone told me: If you like something from the bottom of your heart, you can persist without insisting on it. Instead, it is something that you must grit your teeth and persist in doing. Most of the time it will be nothing.

For example, many of us want to lose weight, and have thought "I must lose weight" ten thousand times, but we have all become fat people in words and thin people in behavior, and have already implemented N in our heads. times, but it is difficult to convince myself in action.

Sometimes we set a small goal and work hard for a graceful figure. I must run eight laps on the playground today. So, you grit your teeth and finish the whole race, as tired as a pug and out of breath. After taking a breath, I feel that today is full of achievements and I have completed my small goal. On the second day, my legs were cramping from yesterday’s run, so I decided to walk a little today. Then every day, the determination to set a small goal gradually faded away, and finally gave up, and I couldn’t stick to it for two weeks.

Bite the bullet and insist on completing your small goals intermittently. It is obvious that you can't bear it, but you still insist on pretending to be fat. Looking back at the things I like, for example, I like English. I have to practice English and read English-related articles every day. I never want to quantify it. Instead, I keep persisting. I never feel pressured or unable to continue, let alone grit my teeth. persist in. These things that I am interested in have become a state of my life. Without them, life seems much boring. They seem to be integrated with me and inseparable.

Since childhood, we have known many famous sayings about "persistence is victory, and you will reap what you sow". We know that they are all correct, but for some reason, it is difficult to develop good habits. However, good habits are not formed at the beginning, and the original intentions vary.

My purpose of practicing English is actually very selfish, because I am an English major. Although I was a member of the good student class in college, I still think that my English is not good, especially in pronunciation. I feel awkward when I am learning English. The "awkwardness" makes me feel that I am not an English major. When others say, "Oh, you are studying English, you must be very good at English!", in fact, I feel ashamed in my heart. So, in order not to lose face, I started practicing my English pronunciation.

First practice on some English dubbing, learn from the strengths of others, follow several high-quality English pronunciation public accounts, and check in with the teacher every day. Sometimes I would practice dubbing software for more than 200 minutes a day, and even when I was most uncomfortable with my pregnancy, I never missed a day. I just persisted for my own sake! ! !

After persisting for more than a year, by chance, a training institution recruited online pronunciation correction teachers. I was still a little confident, so I filled out the form and signed up with the attitude of giving it a try. , and also sent a self-introduction in English. In the end, I didn’t expect that after passing the preliminary test, I became their pronunciation correction teacher! For me, if I can apply successfully, I can continue to consolidate my English, and I can also help more people who need to improve their English. If not, they have a training before I apply successfully, and I can receive free training. Why not?

In this way, from the beginning it was just for my own sake, and finally it became my own interest, and I turned my interest into my job, and now it has become my way of life.

After the whole process, the most difficult part was in the first month, but I also set a minimum practice time for myself. I must spend 30 minutes a day to practice pronunciation. Every time I couldn’t persist. When you want to be lazy, just ask yourself, "Can't you squeeze out even 30 minutes this day?" Every time I answer myself in the negative, I can spend as much time as others scrolling through Weibo, Tik Tok, and Moments. Can be used to practice English.

Wherever time is spent, the harvest will be there. If not, it means that the concentration of time is not enough. Slowly settle, time will give you everything you want.

Now I'm trying to write again. I don't want to get what others call "I've become a writer! I'm so talented." Ignore your true self.

Talking to myself has been the biggest growth for me.

When I was not married and had a family, I always complained about being bored and empty. In fact, I was really free at that time. Only those who had nothing to do or think about would feel extremely bored. Since I got married and had a baby, although I have less time, I still squeeze out all the time I can to study. Because of the baby, I need to spend 24 hours a day except sleeping time. I then divide it into two-thirds to take care of the baby, so sometimes I shorten my sleep time and take a nap at noon. This way I have enough energy for the day, can play well with the baby, and complete my study plan.

My personal feelings about forming habits are as follows. Personal experience, please don’t make false claims!

1. You must find a reason for yourself to insist on it

Even if this reason seems low and selfish to others, as long as it can pluck the string of your motivational nerves Any reason is fine, but think about it conversely, isn’t it an act towards ourselves when we form a habit? It can’t be said to be selfish, at least it’s a very personal thing, as long as it’s good for you and there’s a motivational reason. Of course, nothing is illegal!

2. Next, start setting goals that are not too big.

Don’t think about eating a big fat thing in one bite. Everything starts from bit by bit, and the cumulative effect over time is the most amazing. Know how to proceed step by step, be patient, and don't be impatient. The famous English expert Lai Shixiong once shared his learning experience. One of the points is that "fast is slow, and slow is fast." You can't eat hot tofu in a hurry, not just in studying, but in everything.

3. Don’t pay too much attention to the results, and don’t grit your teeth to quantify the results.

Wang Xiaobo said, "Writing books should educate people and improve people's souls." But I don't seem to have reached this level. Therefore, I have only one purpose in writing, which is for myself.

Some people say that I must write two thousand, three thousand words, etc. every day. I will not sleep until I finish writing. I personally don't agree with it, at least it's not suitable for me.

I have put down writing for many years, but I never expected that I could pick it up again and continue to explore and let go of myself. I just want to write according to my own ideas, to record my own style, not to compare, and to write as the purest version of myself.

Even though I don’t quantify my goals every day, I still insist on reading and thinking every day, and insist on outputting. I can write as much as I can. As long as I express it, I will feel relaxed. When you have gone through this transitional period, all the gritted teeth and perseverance that you originally thought about will become natural, and it will be no problem with three meals a day.

4. Aim at one target at a time.

In the book "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People", the author describes the launch process of the spacecraft Apollo 11 as: "The first few minutes and kilometers of the rocket's launch are spent on The energy is far more than the energy consumed in the next few days and hundreds of thousands of kilometers.”

Every time we set a new goal, the brain goes through a process of resistance, and the energy consumed by the brain is the same as that of a rocket. Similar when airborne. So set one goal at a time and develop a habit for only one goal. Don’t be greedy for too much. Remember, slow is fast and fast is slow.

5. It is what we call a mentality problem.

A good mentality is the basis for habit formation. A weak foundation will shake the foundation. Therefore, before insisting on something, think clearly about the causes and consequences, as well as the attitude you should have, and the later progress will be smoother. My mentality when I started practicing English was that as long as I make a little progress every day compared to the previous day, my task for today will be completed.

Little by little, step by step, keep going steadily.