Deer bump: how to chat with girls briefly

I found a very interesting thing recently, and chatted with girls. Some buddies met some sister papers for comfort, family changes, and broke up, and they became overwhelmed. They kept asking what was going on and kept comforting. It is also mentioned in the classic article "Bad Boys Tell You How to Attract Girls". However, these days, I found that my sister paper's reaction to myself became cold, and it was even pulled to the spare tire area by my sister paper. Let this issue of love know to tell you in detail, the state of mind when sister paper confides, and how to comfort correctly. First, the reason why girls get cold when talking to you. What topics to talk about with girls? I often see such a situation. Girls may be wronged in work/study/life, so they start complaining to some men, and these men will do some interesting things in the process of complaining, and these problems may be the reasons why women become cold to you. 1, Men's Inertia Thinking "If It Were Me" jane doe University has just graduated, and because of its beautiful figure and excellent comprehensive quality, it was quickly accepted by a large enterprise, and it was well paid and well treated. At the beginning of her work, female A had a smooth journey and was very satisfied with the job she found. Later, a woman's department had a new boss. The boss always takes Xiao A out to socialize with customers every once in a while, and always touches Xiao A when he is slightly drunk. When Xiao A repeatedly expressed his opposition, the new boss began to make things difficult for Xiao A at work. Little boy, I'm in a bad mood at the moment Going home at night, he mentioned his work experience when chatting with Xiao B, a boy who has been chatting with him recently. Little B began to talk big. "Don't pay attention to him. If I were you, I would report a series of behaviors to your boss. " "Yes, I see. If I were you, I would …" Men's thinking mode is usually intuitive, and they like to solve problems for girls. Because in our men's eyes, talking equals asking for help, because we men are rational animals, love face and don't want to look worse than other men, so we have strong self-esteem. Usually, unless they are close friends or need help, they don't want to talk about their troubles to others. They like to play games and drink alone to vent their depressed mood. So when we men meet women and talk to us, we think women need our help. So I started: "If I were you, I would …" Get up. But the girl at the moment, what she wants is not your help, but to listen to her quietly. You will find that when women talk to you, the questions they ask are illogical, and they always vent all their dissatisfaction. If you solve the problem for her, you will stop her from talking to you. But in a woman's view, if you stop her behavior, you hurt her. What a woman needs is not your advice, but listening to her quietly, understanding her and standing on the same side with her. Because in women's world, they pay more attention to feelings, and they always put feelings first. 2, don't let yourself become an emotional trash can. I know that many buddies should have this idea about what to talk about with girls. When girls talk to themselves, they will think that this is an opportunity, and then try their best to comfort, enlighten and unconditionally obey some requirements of sister paper. Your behavior will only make you an emotional trash can and a spare tire. So what is the correct way to comfort girls? Second, how to comfort girls? First of all, how should I treat my sister-in-law when she talks to you? In my opinion, comfort only needs three or two sentences of understanding and * * *. Make her happy. Write here, Bian Xiao, I might as well tell you the way to comfort girls. As I am a staff member around Andy, I am very lucky to often see the chat messages between Andy and my sister. There is such a passage that I suddenly understand the true meaning of comforting girls. Because most of the news about Andy's chat with his sister is that Bian Xiao can't take a screenshot, so let me type out the record of Andy's chat with his sister in the form of words. Andy: "What's the matter?" Girl: "I just had a quarrel with my parents, and now I am very unhappy." Andy: "You know, my relationship with my parents is very bad, so I can understand how you feel now." Andy: "We will feel that our parents are so annoyed and don't understand me, and we feel as if we have been greatly wronged." Girl: "Yes, my mother just said I # @! @ # After the girl sent two or three paragraphs in succession, Andy said, "Well, don't be unhappy. I'll show you something good. The girl was curious and asked, "What is this?" "Andy sent her a photo. The girl said, "isn't this me?" Andy said, "Yes, you see how charming your smile is." I can't recognize an erection every time I see it. I can't help thinking how distressed I am by your sad face now. So, don't bother, honey, okay. The girl was obviously in a good mood and couldn't help saying, "Only you can talk." Andy joked, "OK, now, do you want to give me one?" The girl asked, "Why?" Andy said, "I'll go. I even put you off work to comfort you. You still don't give me a sigh of relief, all kinds of sadness ... "Is this kind of chat worse than your boring comfort? After reading this chat record, Bian Xiao once asked Andy, why did you come back like this? Andy gave me an incisive answer: "Why do you want to chat with your sister?" At that time, Bian Xiao was called innocent, and I simply replied, "Talk to her." Andy asked, "Don't you want to pick up girls?" "If you want to pick up girls, you have to have an affair with her. If you want to be friends with her, you should comfort her. Obviously, I want to marry this girl, so it's awkward to be with her. Bian Xiao asked, "Then I guess you didn't comfort her?" "Andy said," do you want me to talk to her for an hour or two? It doesn't make any sense. The meaning is that it is not difficult for my sister now, and we are embarrassed now. That's the point. "Few men can accurately grasp the psychology of women and talk about what topics with girls. For example, now a sister paper is talking to you, and you are constantly comforting and persuading, which will make you look very depressed and worthless, and it is easy to become an emotional trash can. Obviously, a more effective way is to tease her, tease her, or even ask her out directly, and then eat something. This is more meaningful than your comfort. By contrast, who will give her a better feeling? When you keep comforting, you have entered a woman's spare tire area. I, on the other hand, brought her different feelings and made her have all kinds of mood swings. Then you must have a very intuitive feeling after seeing this at this time. We should listen and give approval occasionally. For example, you can say to a girl, "I have had this experience before, what I thought at the beginning, and so on." "In a woman's mind, love also includes listening, understanding and understanding her. So is this the right thing to do? No, no, no, it's not just that. When sister paper confides in you, it already means that she trusts you and has a certain affection for you. So at this moment, what we need to do more is to speed up the relationship between you. I believe many buddies say thank you or something after comforting women, and then the your conversation ends. Then after two days or so, you will find that your sister's reaction to you is relatively cold. The reason is that she didn't give you a good position because you didn't close the relationship and missed a good point to close your relationship. Besides, I believe many buddies will definitely send messages to sister paper. One of your needs has brought her some pressure, and she will choose to escape. So what should we do? If it were me, I would say, "Well, well, be happy, then I haven't had a rest with you yet." Do you have to invite me to dinner next time? Or, "should you call it?" "or" come and ask dad to listen. It is mentioned in the famous First Date: How to Attract Girls.