The funniest sentence in the world is 50 words.

If I don't beat you, I will turn against you.

A tailor who doesn't want to be a cook is not a good driver.

3. Lobster, sea crab! I like to eat shells! Waiter, bring him a plate of melon seeds.

4. Beef noodles and home-cooked meals-what will the Japanese eat when they come? Well, the Japanese pointed with their hands: cow shit!

Some actresses are shameless in order to get on the stage and have a male director. There are too few female directors, what should I do as an actor?

6. The house we live in is full of holes. It is fatal when it rains: it rains outside the rain house, and it rains outside the rain house. Sometimes it rains so hard that the whole family goes out to take shelter from the rain.

7. Your shameless appearance bears the charm of my youth.

No one who doesn't know him has ever eaten pork.

9. Help if you have difficulties, and help if you don't create difficulties.

10. What's your name? Stop it! Saying it is a curse!

1 1. The story told today is not far from now. If you have an old man at home, you can go back and ask, during the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period. ...

12. Tired of walking, he sits here, and the dog sits here, one side is high. People who come over wonder: Whose twin is this?

13. I want to buy 50 good cars-Alto, Alto, Alto! Get up with a dart and drive like a train!

14. Ten years of primary school and twelve years of middle school were rated as the most familiar faces in the whole school. When the new teacher came, he asked me the inside story of the school. ...

15. I ordered shark's fin fried rice, but I couldn't find shark's fin in three pairs of chopsticks. Can you tell me where the shark fin is? The chef said, my name is shark fin.

16. Don't hit him or scold him. Just asking for money, so we can discuss it. But to put it bluntly, more than 100 yuan can kill the ticket.

17. Jumping off a building will kill more cocaine. I studied it. The twentieth floor and the second floor have different effects. Second floor. Bang! Twentieth floor. Yeah ~ ~ ~ Bang!

18. If you are willing to die, I am willing to bury it.

19. Degang Guo: Brother, I hope that the world will be peaceful, and the people of the world will live and work in peace and contentment without war, ok?

God thought about it. Let's tell the truth about this difficulty. I'm not that capable. Really, brother, I'm not refuting your face. I won't tell you anything else. Can you change it? Let's discuss something else. When I touch my body, I bring other people's photos. Brother, look at this. This is my other disciples. His name is Yu Qian. He looks cold and can't find anyone. Please make him more beautiful. God: (thinking) Let's talk about world peace (tearing up the photo) Degang Guo: Hey, why did you tear up the photo? I don't agree. I don't agree. Why tear it? I still keep it to ward off evil spirits!

Degang Guo: As soon as I arrived here, I got a good job, building a chimney more than 70 meters high!

Yu Qian: Not bad!

Degang Guo: Get up early and get the job done. People come to check and accept, but they won't give us money anyway!

Yu Qian: Is the quality not good?

Degang Guo: I turned the drawing upside down and they told me to dig a well!

21-Wen Shun, what do you have?

I won't tell you that I brought boiled eggs.

-Give it to me.

-No ... guess, guess how many.

-I guess you gave me one.

-If you can guess, I'll give you two.

-..............., I've been thinking about it for a long time, five?

Hearing the news of your father's death, the neighbors cried: "such a good man, he died late!" "

23. Degang Guo: I'm sorry to see your father like this. I grew up with the old man, grew up in front of him and watched me grow up. Now he is so ill, can I feel it in my heart?

Yu Qian: Exactly.

Degang Guo: Alas ... (pointing) Old man, you ... you have today.

24. You haven't seen my daughter-in-law, beautiful! Tall, with a big face and heavy eyebrows. She has no beard. She should have a beard like Zhang Fei. .

Degang Guo: Your daughter-in-law is crying. Yu Qian: I feel distressed ~ Degang Guo: My leg hurts ~

I like playing the flute. I told my wife that I buried the flute with me when I died. I like erhu. I told my wife that I buried the erhu with me when I died. Recently, I fell in love with chimes ... My wife said: If the country is easy to dig, don't bury it.

27. Degang Guo: A director asked me to shoot nude scenes, and my beauty was gone. I came back crying like Liu Bei: naked, naked, playing with more than 20 grandfathers in the river, freezing me to death.

The next day, he told me that there was a kissing scene without me, and we went back and cried like Liu Bei: it was a kiss with a hippo, and the hippo's mouth covered my head.

Later, he told me that there was a beautiful scene on the bed, and I went to cry like Liu Bei: the scene on the bed was sex, and I had to have passion to play cotton on the bed. Almost made me dizzy.

How are you? -Why are you?

How old are you? -Why is it always you? 1. The kid next door finally vowed to lose weight-at the graduation job fair, someone said to him, "Sorry, buddy, you blocked my cell phone signal."

Lei Feng did a good deed without leaving a name, but everything was recorded in his diary.

I skipped classes too much. I wanted to go to class yesterday. Seeing the professor, the professor was surprised and said, I haven't seen you for so long, and I have grown so big.

I have a left Qinglong, a right white tiger and a Mickey Mouse tattooed on my shoulder.

5. Yuanyang played in the water and was drowned by his mother; Fly with me, you fucking fell dead.

Although I can't be a descendant of the rich, I must be an ancestor of the rich.

7. God didn't give me much responsibility, but it still made me heartache and tired.

8. Who held my hand and made me crazy for half my life? Who, kiss my eyes, cover my half-life displacement.

9. The crowd searched for her for thousands of Baidu, and suddenly looking back, that person still disdained me.

10. What is happiness? Happiness is that cats eat fish, dogs eat meat, and Altman beats small monsters.

1 1. Are you a dung ball that was once rolled by a little retarded dog, and a cockroach that was adopted by a mentally retarded master in Shaolin Temple, so-called pear blossoms crush Haitang?

12. I received a mobile phone message. There is a monkey in the zoo, so ugly that everyone vomits. One day I went there and I threw up. One day you went there and the monkey threw up.

13. Say that money is evil and everyone is fishing; Say beauty is a disaster, everyone wants it; It is said that the height is too cold and everyone is climbing; Say that alcohol and tobacco hurt the body and don't quit; Say heaven is the best, don't go!

14. Strongly protest against commercial TV series!

15. Although the famous flowers are taken, I will loosen the soil!

16. Sorry! I'm already dead! But thank you for coming to see me! See you tonight 12!

17. I drown my sorrows in wine, but I learned to swim in this damn pain.

18. Data show that in 2008, men accounted for 52% of the total population in China, while women accounted for 43%. (Tianya-Chai Ge's classic, so fucking tough)

19. Do you want to get rich? Do you want to get lucky? Do you want to be an official? Do you want to become famous overnight? Do you want to be young forever?

-Stop dreaming and study hard!

20. The fool stole the beggar's wallet and the blind man saw it. The mute gave a loud roar, which startled the deaf. Camels come forward and lame people fly. The wanted man wants to take him to the public security bureau. Asako said, look at my face.

2 1. Loneliness is a person's carnival, and carnival is the loneliness of a group of people.

22. Dreaming about dream of eating spaghetti, I woke up in the morning and found my shoelaces gone!

24. The green hills remain the same, and the firewood remains the same.

I don't want to eat porridge every day. I went to the vegetable market yesterday. I think I'll continue to eat porridge.

26. My principle is: if people don't attack me, I won't attack; If someone attacks me, I will be angry!

27. If something goes wrong, look for the reason from yourself first. Don't blame the earth for its lack of gravity when you are constipated.

28. Although I am not very handsome, when I was a child, someone praised my left nostril as an idol.

29. Old advice: Daughter, eat a little to lose weight.

30. I am also the seed of infatuation. It rained ... and I drowned.

3 1. Never leave the wall and pull it out resolutely.

Even if I were a toad, I would never marry my mother toad.

When we were young, we often made faces in the mirror. In old age, mirrors are flat.

34. When I have a son named "Shuai", people will say "Shuai Dad!"

35. Fish said: I always open my eyes to leave your side. Water said: I have been flowing tirelessly all day, trying to surround you and hold you tightly. The pot said: it's almost cooked, and there's still so much nonsense. .

The 36.5-year-old daughter asked her father to do something for her. Dad: "Dad is very tired. Give me a compliment, and I will be refreshed again. " Daughter: "Lao Zheng!" Dad: "Hey!" Daughter: "Your Niu Niu is really beautiful ..."

37. When I was a child, I didn't study. My mother said, "When I grow up, I will let you marry a bachelor who sells pork." Now educate my daughter: "study hard and grow up to marry a bachelor who sells pork."

38. Who says crows are as black as crows? In fact, one is darker than the other!

39. Even if you look like a piece of shit, why do you have to be a piece of shit?

40. Get up every morning and shout, "Fuck Japan." This is not only good for health, but also can cultivate patriotic moral sentiments!

4 1. Miss's beard looks so euphemistic, she must be a good family!

42. The innocence of love in college lies in being able to eat instant noodles together and drink soup with an open mind.

43. Big Brother … I swear to the lamp … I really smoked …

44. One day, a mother-in-law took a bus … didn't know the way halfway … spanked the driver with a stick and said, where is this? The driver said, this is my ass …

45. People have a lot of backgrounds, but I only have my back.

46. The doll asked her mother, "How to make sentences with ABCDEFG?" Mom: "A! Is this child B from the C family? Standing barefoot on D, EF wears nothing, and there is a small GG…… ... "

47. Pigs have gone up in price these days, and they want me to reduce the price! ?

48. If you do this again in the future, don't blame me for being inhuman!

49. What are you unhappy about? Say it to make everyone happy.

50. I am used to the end of the world: a dozen friends just went up the stairs on the second floor for dinner and saw a man holding a pregnant woman downstairs. The buddy who walked in front quickly gave way to the side and turned around and said, "Stay in formation downstairs!" "

5 1. Red beans don't grow in the south, they grow on my face. I really miss them!

52. The head on the left is flour, and the head on the right is water. When you think about a problem, your head is full of fat.

1. Don't cry at my grave, it has stained my path of reincarnation.

I never hold grudges, but I usually report them on the spot.

Well, Mr. Zhang, you can't press CTRL+C on the home computer and then CTRL+V on the company computer. Not even the same article. No, no, it's not even an expensive computer.

If you were a flower, cows would not dare to shit in the future!

If you choose to look up at others at 45, don't blame others for looking down at you at 135.

6. My father expressed his opinion about my obesity: Han Hong didn't die, but Han Hong was ill.

7. Now you scold me because you don't know me yet. When you get to know me later, you will definitely hit me.

8. People in the past, don't be sad for my death. If I live, none of you will live-robespierre's epitaph.

9. "Do you like my angel face or the devil's figure?" "I just like your sense of humor."

10. Broadcast gymnastics begins now: ╔ ╗ ╔ ╝ ╚ ╚ ╔ ╔.

1 1. Love is a very strong word. The upper part of it is taken from Metamorphosis, and the lower part is taken from Metamorphosis.

12. The girl is wearing cool clothes, but she looks depressed.

13. When I arrived at a temple, I heard the monk say, donate some money, just 3500 yuan. Answer: I really don't have that much money with me. Maybe next time. The monk replied: you can swipe your card.

I can resist anything but temptation.

15. People always want ghosts and gods to know when they do good things, but they always think ghosts and gods don't know when they do bad things. We are too difficult to be ghosts.

16. I'm sorry to make you laugh.

17. There are too many liars, but obviously not enough fools.

18. The physical education teacher in junior high school said: Whoever dares to wear a skirt to my class again will be punished for handstand.

19. The furthest distance in the world is not the ends of the earth, nor the parting of life and death, but that I am in my motherland, but I don't know what happened inside.

20. Time is the best teacher, but unfortunately-in the end, he killed all the students.

2 1. The death of one person is a tragedy, but the death of millions of people is only a statistic.

22. How long is a minute? It depends on whether you are squatting in the toilet or waiting outside.

23. A Beijinger lamented that the subway in Beijing is really crowded. Last Monday, a pregnant woman was squeezed to have an abortion. People in Shanghai don't cut it: the subway in Shanghai is very crowded. Last year, a girl was squeezed pregnant.

24. Even if it is a piece of shit, you will meet dung beetles one day. So you don't have to worry too much about yourself today.

25. People are not smart and bald like others.

The teacher teaches students to read poetry in class. "It doesn't rain when it snows, and it turns into rain when it reaches the ground. It is really troublesome to turn into rain. Why didn't it rain at first? " The students answered, which made the teacher very angry. Do you know what he said?

Teachers don't eat shit. It's really troublesome for them to turn into shit when they eat it. Why didn't they eat shit in the first place?