Confusion is the normal state of life

Last weekend, I was lucky enough to attend a new book sharing meeting in Yu Xiuhua, a one-way space bookstore in Aegean Shopping Center. Yu Xiuhua had a long talk and exchange with readers about her third book, We Loved and Forgotten. Because of congenital cerebral palsy, she is not good at words, but the humor and wisdom between words are impressive.

During the reader's question time, a girl stood up and asked her-I have lost interest in everything recently, and I feel that I can't love all aspects of my life, and my life is empty and confused. What should I do?

Yu Xiuhua smiled. She adjusted her glasses and said, aren't you interested in coming to my new book sharing party? Doesn't that mean you still love life? Young people always like to talk about confusion, thinking that confusion is a stumbling block on the road of life, and they can't go on until they are eradicated. As we all know, everyone is confused sometimes, just like me, who is forty years old and still has many problems. Like loneliness, confusion is the normal state of life. Don't struggle with confusion, learn to adapt to it and get along with it.

After listening to this passage, I was caught in a crowded crowd, endured the suffocating air, and suddenly felt an unprovoked relaxation, even a faint pleasure. It turns out that in this world, you and I are the same, confused and growing up.

After signing the book, I left the bookstore, walked down the stairs, opened the door of the shopping mall and watched the traffic in Beijing. At that moment, I felt warm and self-sufficient about life for the first time.

02

When I was in college, I met an associate professor. On the one hand, we are fellow villagers and have the natural feeling of seeing fellow villagers. On the other hand, because I like literature, I have attended several of his classes, and I am deeply impressed by his simple storytelling style. After a long time, we will get familiar with it.

In my senior year, I was faced with the dilemma of taking the postgraduate entrance examination and finding a job. Like most of my classmates, I am confused and helpless. I can't seem to find a way out except to waste the rest of my time. In that state, I met him with a smile on the way to the canteen. Yes, whoever you meet, he always smiles. It seems that life has always been dull for him.

Look at me moping. He guessed. So, go to the canteen with me, sit at the table face to face and talk to me about that year.

He said that in the third year of research, he also had a period of confusion in facing exams and looking for a job. At that time, he took part in the recruitment examination of a magazine, and the written test and interview went well, but his salary was meager. In a big city like Shanghai, it is a problem to support yourself. Between his interest and his livelihood, he had to choose his livelihood, took a doctor's exam, graduated from a doctor's degree and successfully taught in colleges and universities. Through my own efforts, I was promoted from a lecturer to an associate professor.

He said that over the years, the feeling of confusion in not fade away. Many times he wakes up in the middle of the night and asks himself, what if he had entered the magazine society? Will life be different? No need to write another headache paper, no need to rack one's brains to prepare lessons, just review the manuscript submitted by the author, and the rest of the time can be used for reading and writing? Did you choose the wrong road from the beginning?

Ask too many questions, and gradually understand that there is never a standard answer in life. Behind every glamorous life, there is its darkness, and everyone who understands the world will be confused. It is against the laws of nature to eliminate the confused life. As he spoke, he couldn't help laughing.

Many years later, I will still think of that night, his gentle voice, the dim lights in the canteen and the heavy night road outside. Every time I think about it, I feel that the heavy life has been diluted, and even the surrounding air seems to be lighter.

03

Xiaohai is one of my readers. Two months ago, he sent a private letter saying that he was tired of his present job, and he repeated mechanically day after day, playing games after work from nine to five. Such days seem to be over at once, which is a waste of life. He said that he wanted to quit his job and live in go to dali for a while to find his old self.

There are probably not a few people like Xiaohai. People living in cities, living in a fast-paced and efficient state for a long time, are prone to confusion. You don't know why you live if you live. In your mind, you subconsciously started the game between money and yourself, struggling between material life and spiritual life and falling into a dilemma.

Such confusion is the normal state of life. In fact, everyone is looking for a balance in life, especially young people. I told Xiao Hai that go to dali could quit his job, and he didn't have to. He has been far away, maybe he found the most beautiful one around him. Why don't you take this opportunity to take an annual vacation and go out to relax?

Xiaohai accepted my suggestion, took a leave of absence, and set foot on the journey of go to dali alone.

During that time, I often received photos from Xiaohai's private letters. On the streets of the ancient city, I was fascinated by the singer's singing. The small sea in the sunset squinted gently. On the edge of butterfly spring, Xiaohaitou wore a beautiful garland, with open arms, wide mouth and unbridled smile; On the shore of Erhai Lake, Xiaohai quietly looked at the calm lake, and a yellow cat dozed off beside it. At that moment, the whole world seemed quiet.

Before Labor Day, Xiaohai returned to her original city and resumed her previous job. He told me calmly that go to dali would be confused, especially in the dead of night. Being in a foreign land will make you feel suddenly lost in life. Sometimes awake, sometimes confused, this may be life.

04

Liu Tong has a book called "Whose youth is not confused". I want to say, whose life is not confused? Confusion is the normal state of life.

Many times, the reason why you are in a confused mood may be because you take confusion too seriously and exaggerate its weight.

In our long life, confusion is really a negligible part. Everyone will encounter their own confusion period more or less, and everyone will find their way sometimes. At this moment, don't be afraid, stop, close your eyes, take a nap and move on. Your vision may be clearer.

Yes, confusion has never been the background of life. It's just a dark cloud over your head. As long as you walk past, you can see the clear Wan Li. Dark clouds will gather and disperse, and so will confusion.