Are there really no friends in the workplace?

To be honest, I am still skeptical about whether there is such a relationship as "friends" in the workplace. I dare not say so absolutely, but the chances of a relationship between colleagues being successfully upgraded to friends are too small. .

Peng Ye’s point of view: Friends are not so easy to make. We say that the essence of social interaction is value exchange, so making friends in the workplace involves more interests than pure reliance. Personal preference. The so-called "similar interests" are nothing more than "complementary values", each getting what they need. Many times what we think is a good relationship is just an illusion brought about by the environment.

First, friends can have interests, but interests cannot be the basis for communication.

First of all, you need to understand the fact that you are in the workplace and working in a company. What is the most fundamental and direct purpose? Make money, support your family, and meet the necessities of life, right? Even if you can say that it is for personal growth and there is nothing wrong with training yourself, the most essential need is to make money and make more money.

So no matter what the purpose, as long as you are in the workplace, the word "interest" will never be thrown away, and most of the conflicts between colleagues are due to the violation of interests.

We come to the workplace just for the purpose of making money. This is an absolute premise.

So when facing anyone and anything in the workplace, you will be subtly affected by it. The first thing you think about is whether your own interests may be infringed, and the second thing is thinking about how to get closer to your colleagues.

Also, anyone who sacrifices his own interests to gain other people's attention and curry favor with others is called pleasing, not making friends, and such people almost always end up dead. miserable.

For example: The company organizes an event, or a dinner party among colleagues. Under the influence of the atmosphere, everyone is very happy. After drinking and eating, it is an AA system according to regulations. At this time, a colleague If I said I didn't bring any money or my wallet was lost, it meant that the remaining people should share my share equally. What will other colleagues think? You won't say anything on the surface, but in your heart you will definitely feel what this person's character is like, he likes to take advantage, and you should stay away from him in the future.

If it is a dinner party between friends, you will not have such an idea. Even if the person is cheating on you and lies about not bringing any money, the feelings between each other will lead to subjective judgments. I believe what he says, and will even find reasons to explain for others. Maybe there is something unspeakable, and he needs to use the money elsewhere. Forget it, he is not a bad person anyway, so I will pay for it.

True friends never rely on interests, and they never use interests as a reference. There are really very few such relationships in the workplace.

Second, we were not familiar with each other before, but now we come together with the same goal to achieve a win-win situation. This is not a friend, but a cooperation.

This is very common in the workplace. It is very common for colleagues to work together and complete a project together. If something goes wrong, the entire team will be implicated. If the project is completed well, the entire team will be rewarded. .

The relationship between colleagues is basically cultivated gradually in this way, but there is a problem. The team's sense of goal is too obvious. This kind of group of "everyone is prosperous and everyone suffers" is not In the environment of making friends, once one party makes a major personal mistake and the team needs to start over from scratch, without the coordination of systems and leaders, the team will soon fall apart.

The reason is very simple. Because of your mistake, other people's efforts have also been wiped out. As a result, you will not make any money, and your wages will even be deducted. In this case, you think it will Are you easily forgiven by your colleagues?

Another point is that when being fired from the company, no matter how good the relationship between colleagues is, few people will go to the leader to plead for mercy. In fact, this is not because the chance is too small, but because The relationship is not yet in place. If it is an emotional dependence, he will not think so much. If it is an interest relationship between colleagues, he will think about the consequences of doing so.

For example: It was not long after I graduated. Since I couldn’t find a job, I asked my rich second-generation roommate in high school to work in a restaurant owned by their family for a while.

My roommate agreed immediately and arranged a position as an intern store manager for me. I worked there for less than three months and my colleagues got along very well.

But after all, I can’t always be taken care of here, so after I found a job, I told my roommate that I wanted to resign. He didn’t stop me, but gave me an extra month’s salary when I paid my salary. And he told me that it is inevitable to suffer some hardships outside. If you have more money, at least you won't let others lead you.

To this day, I am very grateful to my roommate. After my job stabilized, I spent more than 2,000 on the Internet to buy a zippo as a gift for him to express my gratitude. When he saw the gift , said to me half-jokingly: "A person like you is not suitable for being a friend, but he will be a good partner."

I didn't understand what he meant at the time, but later I learned more about it. , I have experienced all kinds of storms, and suddenly I remembered what my roommate said, and I realized that I had done something wrong.

Write it at the end.

Is there any friend in the workplace? In fact, there must be some, but it is too difficult to "cultivate" friendship without any impurities in a place full of competing interests. Nowadays, people He will not reveal his true feelings easily, because once he is taken advantage of, the consequences will be serious.

Anyway, everyone is doing their own work and each gets what they need. Making money is the real thing, so why bother to deliberately build friendships? If you are an excellent "collaborator" , there is no need to worry about finding “friends” in the workplace.