I want the most classic joke. Who can show it to me? (No troublemaker) Thank you! ! !

You can never beat the people who make the rules.

The fox walked along the street and met the old wolf head-on. The old wolf reached out and gave him a big mouth, "Let you not wear a hat".

The fox came home depressed and found a hat to wear.

The next day, I met an old wolf and got a big mouth, "Let you wear a hat".

If so, you will be beaten all the time. The fox thought, it's not a problem to be beaten often. No, I have to complain to the tiger.

No sooner had I arrived at the tiger's door than I heard the tiger talking in the room.

"You can't always be so unreasonable to hit the fox. The fox came back to complain to me. I can't protect you. At least we can get by on the surface. I'll teach you a trick.

Next time you see a fox, tell him: Bring me some clothes. He brought you soap, so you beat him up and said I wanted washing powder, but who told you to get the soap? He brought washing powder, you can call and say I want soap, but who told you to bring washing powder?

Why don't you tell him to find me a woman? He finds you a fat one, and you beat him up and say I want to be thin; I'll find you a thin one, and you can beat me up and say I want to be fat.

If it doesn't end like this, you can hit him, which makes sense to me. "

Hearing this, the fox said, well, let's stop complaining and go home.

The next day, the fox met the old wolf in the street again. The old wolf shouted, "Go and find me some clothes."

The fox took his time: Do you want washing powder or soap?

Hearing this, the old wolf, huh? Very good at it. He said, find me a woman.

The fox is still in no hurry: do you want to be fat or thin?

The old wolf flew into a rage and reached out and gave the fox a big mouth.

Let you wear no hat!

A man saw a beautiful woman in a bar and got up the courage to strike up a conversation. But this man is very nervous, so he is tongue-tied.

He said, "Little sister, I, I, my last name is ... Wu, can, can, can I talk to you? Can I talk to you?" 」

The young lady's understanding answer: "impotence has nothing to do with it. Maybe there are other ways to cure it!" " 」

I was chatting with a group of female colleagues this afternoon, and suddenly someone said I was not a man.

& ltBR & gt I'm angry, I said, you say I'm not, I'll show you.

& ltBR & gt The girls all laughed, and one of them was the best, saying, you pay.

& ltBR & gt I took out my ID card.

Aunt of the neighborhood Committee: "son, what are you doing standing at the door in cold weather?" Why don't you stay in the house? "

Child: "Dad, Mom quarreled."

Aunt of the neighborhood Committee: "What a shame, who is your father?"

Child: "This is why they quarrel."

In the early days of liberation, a team conducted political theory education in a mountain village.

Teachers and comrades give lectures: "Revolutionary instructors teach us that labor creates people ...

A villager puzzled and asked, "Comrade, what is' labor'?"

Comrade teacher explained: "Labor is work. In other words, people are born through labor. "

The result was laughter. Just now, the villager even laughed his head off: "My ancestors have known this for eight generations! ! ! "

Near the New Year Festival, gift companies distributed many beautiful leaflets to the company to attract business, which was caused by a beautiful leaflet from Juck Zhang. . .

The stingy Xiao Wang took a beautiful leaflet to her female colleague and asked her to fax it to her brother who works in the north, and wrote a small line on the leaflet: "Brother, this thing looks very good. I'll fax it to you. Please buy it and take it home for your parents to enjoy! " The next day, Xiao Wang received a message from his brother: "Brother, this thing looks really good, but I can't go back to my hometown in the south this holiday." . . So I'll fax you two thousand-dollar bills, please cut them and buy them yourself! "

In the street, a young woman walked up to a passerby and said, "Excuse me, sir, you must have noticed that I have been paying attention to you.". This is because I feel like you are the father of one of my children. "

"What?" Passers-by opened their eyes in horror and said, "Me? This is absolutely impossible! "

"Please don't worry, you know, I am a female teacher in a kindergarten."

Two neighbors across the building bought binoculars, and each praised his own good. You came and I went, and we quarreled.

A neighbor said, "I recently looked at your house with this pair of binoculars, and I can clearly see what you and your wife are doing in bed."

Neighbor B replied, "Really? If your binoculars are really the best, you should see more clearly, because that woman is not my wife, but yours. . . . . "

Playing games with colleagues in the summer vacation is a game of handing cups while singing. Whoever sings to the end will be fined if he has a cup. At the scene, only a female colleague and I had a drink with disposable cups, so we handed the cup over. At the end of the activity, I want to say, "No! Two people use the same cup. How do I know which one is mine? " I saw the girl who just graduated from high school blushing and saying without any breath, "Never mind, my background is different from yours!" " "When everyone laughed, she said innocently," Yes! I squashed it as a souvenir.

The wife of Cen Junhou in Shaoxing is pregnant. One day, the county magistrate went out to travel, and a man blocked the way and was tied to the house. Hou Jun asked him, "What do you do?" The man replied, "fortune teller." The county magistrate said, "My wife is pregnant. Please have a look. What about Nongzhang? " (Is it a boy or a girl? The man didn't understand the meaning of "making tiles" and casually said, "Zhang should also make tiles." Hearing this, the magistrate thought he was talking nonsense and severely scolded the fortune teller.

However, it was not long before Mrs. Hou gave birth to a boy and a girl twins, which made the fortune teller famous.

A tour guide showed the delegation around the museum and said, "The fossil in this glass box has a history of two million years."

A man asked enviously, "How can you determine the date so accurately?"

"It's very simple," replied the guide. "I have worked here for nine years. When I first came, it had a history of 20 thousand years. "

One afternoon, my sister and brother and I were sitting under the pomegranate tree playing cards when a pigeon landed in the yard. It fluttered for a long time but couldn't fly, so it was hit badly. We looked around, and it turned out that it had been shot, with a serious gunshot wound and bloody bones. My sister and I both cast our eager eyes on our younger brother.

My brother immediately came to his senses and flew into the room to "flush" the books.

"I must be looking for a book about how to treat it." I think so.

My sister disagreed: "I don't think so. He must be looking for an anatomy book. "

After a while, my brother shouted excitedly and came out with a book. When he saw it, he was surprised at page 28 of the cookbook, how pigeons do it! !

Three turtles decided to have coffee. Hardly had they reached the gate of the coffee shop when it began to rain.

So the biggest turtle said to the smallest turtle, "Go home and get an umbrella."

The smallest turtle said, "If you don't drink my coffee, I'll go."

"We don't drink," the other two turtles promised.

Two years later, the tortoise said to the tortoise, "well, I guess he won't come back." We can drink his coffee. "

Just then, a voice came from outside. "I won't go if you drink it."

After doctors, prostitutes and thieves died, they all came to see Yan at the same time. The prince asked them what they did before their death. The doctor said, "Little people practice medicine. If others are sick, I can cure them and bring them back to life. " The prince was furious and said, "Every time I send a ghost pawn to hook up with a sinner, you always have to fight with me to make trouble and send you to the frying pan to suffer!" " "

The second asked the prostitute, and the prostitute said, "I take guests without wives." Rebecca said:' You are convenient for single people, and you can extend your life by twelve years. "Asked the thief again, the thief said," I am a thief. I'm going to pick up some other people's clothes and some loose money. "The prince said,' This is to help others, increase their life span by ten years, and bring them back to earth! "

Hearing this, the doctor quickly pleaded, "Your Majesty, if you make such a judgment, all you want is to let me go and return me to Yang. I still have a son and a daughter at home, let him be a thief and let her take guests! "

Two cannibals were recruited into IBM, and the personnel director of the company knew that these two groups would eat people every day, so he warned them: "If you dare to eat someone in the company, you will be fired immediately!" Two cannibals reluctantly agreed that they would never eat people in the company. Two months have passed and the company is safe.

Suddenly one day, the company found that the cleaner in charge of cleaning the company's hygiene was missing. So the personnel director was very angry, found two cannibals to denounce and fired them on the spot. Out of the company gate, a cannibal immediately complained to another person: "I have been warning you not to eat people who are doing things, but you just won't listen!" " We ate a manager every day for two months and no one found out. You see, if you eat the cleaners now, they will find out right away! You are really an Agger pig! ! ! "

Two explorers crossed the desert tired and hungry. Suddenly, they found a body in front of them. Explorer a offered to share. B would rather die than follow, so A has it all. After walking for a while, A felt extremely uncomfortable in his stomach and finally could not help vomiting. B was beaming and knelt on the ground and said, "I told you not to eat it long ago." You see how cool I am, and I can eat something hot! " "

A: Alas! Didn't sleep well last night!

B: What's the matter?

I killed a mosquito!

Then you should sleep better!

A: That's what I thought at first, but who knows that a large group of mosquitoes came to hold a memorial service for it, so forget it, but I even ate dinner later! Alas!

A graduate student can't find a job for a while because he has no money in his pocket. When he saw that the circus was recruiting staff, he had to apply.

His job is to pretend to be a monkey. Although he was unhappy, he had to reluctantly agree because of his livelihood.

During the performance, the head of the delegation asked him to put on a monkey fur coat and walk a tightrope on the lion cage dressed as a monkey. When he walked carefully to the center of the wire, the wire suddenly broke and he fell into the lion's cage.

Seeing the lion coming slowly, he broke out in a cold sweat. At this tense moment, suddenly a word came out of the lion's mouth: "Don't be afraid!" " "

The black chief was very angry because his wife gave birth to a white child and because the whole village was black.

The village chief thought it must be caused by a white doctor outside the village, so he got even with the doctor in a rage.

White doctors know that disaster is imminent and argue irrationally that white skin is not necessarily genetic, but may be a genetic mutation.

For example, he said, you see, although all the sheep in your village are white, didn't they give birth to a black one these two days?

Hearing this, the chief immediately rang the golden bell, quit and said, I don't care about you and my wife, and you don't tell anyone about me and the white ewe! Okay？

Four retired people are playing golf. The first one hit the ball into the Woods, so after he went into the Woods to look for the ball, one of the other three began to ask, "Bob, how is your son recently?"

Bob replied, "My son got the right to sell a brand-name car, and his business is doing very well this year. He sent a car to his friend. "

The second man asked, "Bill, how is your son?" He replied: "My son got the yacht franchise, and this year's business is better than before. So he sent a yacht to his friend. "

The third man asked, "George, how is your son recently?"

George said, "You know my son is a real estate agent. The real estate boom is good this year. He even gave a house to his friends. "

At this time, the guy who went to the Woods to find the ball came back, so his companion asked him, "Sam, how is your son recently?"

Sam replied, "I'm not sure, but you know my son is gay, but he must be very lucky recently because his comrades gave him a house, a car and a yacht."