Are there any jokes about pigs?

A man kept a pig. He was annoyed with it and wanted to throw it away, but the pig knew the way home and threw it many times without success. One day, the man abandoned the pig and took a bus. He called his wife that night and asked, "Does the pig return?" His wife said, "Go home." The man was very angry and shouted, "put it on the phone quickly, I'm lost." On your way to xishuangbanna tourism, you were besieged by a group of wild boars. The tourists took out food and money, and the wild boar was unmoved. You took out your only ID card, and the pigs knelt down and cried, brother, we found you! A toad pursued a swan, and the swan disdainfully said, If I grew up like you, I would have died! Toad refused to accept, and said why the pig was still alive! The pig feels very wronged. I was just reading the post. Who did I piss off? A young lawyer appeared in court for his first case. His client's 24 pigs were run over by a train and killed. In order to emphasize the huge loss, he said excitedly, "gentlemen, think about it, 24 pigs!" " 24 heads! Twice as many as our jury. One day, three boys went to a food stall to eat snacks, so they all decided to order "pig brain soup", but because there were too many people in the shop, the waitress shouted, "pig brain!" Pig brain! Three pig brains ... "The three boys replied in unison:" We, we ... here, here, here. ! "The hunter met a wild boar in the mountains, and he fired a shot in a panic. The wild boar suddenly heard a gunshot and was startled. He thought he had been hit and fainted on the ground. A peddler happened to pass by here and bought the wild boar from the hunter. He looked at it carefully and said to the hunter, "why is there no bullet hole in this wild boar?" "Maybe he died himself, and the meat is definitely not fresh!" "No, not old!" Two people were arguing, and the wild boar woke up and got up, and ran away while they were not paying attention. The hunter pointed to the escaped wild boar and said, "Look, how fresh it is!" Zhang went to the blackboard to do a very simple problem. He didn't do it for a long time, and the students below shouted derisively. Pig, pig, "Zhang turned around and said angrily," pig is still smart. "You are an adult, pay attention to your image, don't be the same as before, drink less. Last night, someone saw you chasing the pig with a glass in your hand and shouted, are you your brother? If you are a brother, do it! A bird and a pig are on the plane. The bird said to the stewardess, "Give me a glass of water", and the pig also said, "Give me a glass of water". After a while, the bird said, "Give me something to eat", and the pig followed suit. The stewardess was very unhappy and threw them down. Then the bird said to the pig, "idiot, I can fly." "You stand on the lotus leaf and dance lightly. Passers-by shouted, "The pig is standing on the leaf. "Are you full today? Did you sleep well? Will it be cold at night? I really want to stay by your side quietly. I know you can't take care of yourself. Every time I leave, you jump out of the pigsty. Portrait of your life: at the age of ten, learn to bathe yourself-pigs wash themselves; Twenty years old is radiant-when the pig is young; Looking for a job at the age of 30-starting a pig-raising career; At the age of forty, I hired a servant-a pig's servant; Learn to play basketball at the age of fifty-throw pigs! I haven't heard from you for a long time I wonder if you are all right now. I passed by your house the other day and went in to have a look. I saw you asleep, and I didn't have the heart to wake you up. Hey, only you have a litter of pigs! Toad pursues swan, and swan disdainfully says: If I grow up to be like you, I will die long ago! Toad refused: that pig is still alive and well! Hearing this, the pig felt very wronged: I was just reading the short message. Who did I piss off? You seem to have lost weight recently. Can you tell me what happened? You know, pork is eight yuan a catty on the market now. You lose a catty, I lose eight dollars. I have always had a soft spot for you, and your face has always appeared in front of me! But I am too poor to expect, and now I have money! You can say loudly: boss, cut that pig head in half for me! How can I bear to see you leave? How many warm and happy times we spent together, but today we are going to break up! Looking at your sad eyes, I shouted: wait a minute, I'm not selling this pig! I don't want to sell it When I turned to leave, your endless crying and heartbreaking pain behind me suddenly made me understand how much I love you! I suddenly turned around and cried and hugged you and shouted, "I won't sell this pig." "Compared with pigs, if I have to compare you with pigs, I think you are at least two different from them: 1, and it is smarter than you. 2. You can eat more than it. If I leave in autumn, I will wait for you in the snow; If the world goes, I will love you in heaven; If you leave, I will miss you with tears; If I leave, I will let her take care of you. PS: Her pig-raising skills are really good! Don't be crazy with me, don't be crazy with me, my eldest brother Qin Shihuang, don't pretend with me. I have the background of the CPC Central Committee. I don't believe you don't give up. Bin Laden is my uncle. I'll blow it up first, then poison it. I won't accept your suit. I changed my hukou to throwing pigs. I haven't heard from you for a long time ... I've been thinking about you for two days, and my heart is in a mess ... I've searched all your favorite ponds, dining huts, sleeping lawns and looking for pigs. On the way to xishuangbanna tourism, Yunnan, you were besieged by a group of wild boars. All the passengers took out food and money, but the wild boar was unmoved. You took out your only ID card, and the pigs knelt down and said painfully, "Boss, we found you. "Break off diplomatic relations with us! Please forgive my selfishness. I know it will break your heart. Everything we used to spend together will be engraved in my heart forever, but I really can't live with you anymore, because pigs are not allowed in the city. Zen bamboo, Zen bamboo, Zen bamboo, Zen non. Warm the flowers and paint the pool. Planting in the dark bamboo is a good way to lure people into the pool. Zen bamboo, Zen bamboo, Zen is not bamboo! Congratulations on learning Shandong dialect ... Happy April Fool's Day! Meteor There will be a meteor tonight. It is said to belong to the constellation Big Pig. A pig will fall from the sky. Too bad I want to sleep. You're gonna be okay. There are so many people watching you fly. There are six kinds of pigs in the world: domestic pigs are kept at home, wild boars are wandering outside, dead pigs are barking in the market, stupid pigs are reading information, harsh pigs are angry, stingy pigs want revenge, and even pigs are not as good as people who don't reply to information! Pigs are strange. I said, "You are a pig. "You said," I am a pig. "From then on, I will call you a pig. One day, you finally couldn't help shouting at me in front of everyone: "I'm not a pig." "pig's ideal pig's ideal: all fences in the world have fallen down, feed has fallen from the sky, butchers all over the world have jumped into the river, people all over the world believe in Islam, pigs go to school since childhood, and people and pigs vote equally. People say that the ideal is beautiful. The pig laughed while watching. The price increase of pork is due to your negligence before! So from now on, I will treat you well. When you are tired, I will massage your back. When you are bored, I will accompany you to relieve boredom. When you are sick, I will give you medicine and injections. You lose weight, I gain weight. Why? Who made the price of pork rise? Pork stewed vermicelli has a history of more than 20 years, so you should know something! The sky is used for wind and rain; The land is used to grow flowers and grass; I used it to prove how great human beings are; What about you? Used to stew vermicelli. Draw a pig and write your name on the paper. The first word letter M is capitalized, with E written on the left, W written below, W written below the surname, and Q written on the right. Each letter is connected by an arc. Isn't it fun? Not every flower in a pig can represent love, but roses can; Not every tree can withstand thirst, but poplar can; Not every pig can read text messages, but you did. A section of Longevity Heart Sutra recently discovered by Dharma in Shaolin Temple. Reading aloud once a day can prolong life. The content is as follows: lying like a bird's heart rock, lying like ice, lying like a hundred feet, lying like an old wood and bamboo! Be sure to read aloud! I saw you wandering in the supermarket on the day of the price inspection. You put your hand into the machine that can check the price, and the result shows: trotters, 8 yuan. You thought there was something wrong with the machine, so you stuck your head in it. I almost died laughing when I saw it. It says: pig head, 18 yuan. Raising pigs is about to say goodbye to you. I am sad to see innocent written on your face. Why do I choose deeply, but I have to give up in a hurry? I want to keep you by my side forever, but my mother said "there are no pigs in the city". Congratulations on getting the mobile phone photo function. Please point your face at your mobile phone, press the down button, and the photo will be taken successfully. Please see the photos >) ". . "(< (..)) You are so beautiful! I always wanted you. Your face, your lips and your ears are always in front of my eyes, but I am too poor to support you. Now that I have money, I can say loudly, "Boss, that pig cut me in half!" " "Before, I was just an ordinary knight-errant, until I met you, the most mysterious person in the Jianghu, and a strange coincidence called out your name. Since then, I have become a "pig man" admired by everyone in the Jianghu. The tortoise and the rabbit race, and the pig is the referee. Do you think the tortoise runs fast or the rabbit runs fast?