Requesting a hilarious sketch script for 5 people, including catchphrases and the life of middle school students

"Applying" - a comedy sketch script for 5 people (hilarious)

Characters: 2 examiners, 3 applicants

(A company is recruiting a sales manager)

Applicants: Long Min: an agricultural farmer, Tai Youcai: a talented student with no social background, Zhen Wenquan: a son of a government official.

Tai Youcai (backing this hand, walking, raising his head and thinking): Time leaves no one behind, time flies by, and in today’s market, I am here to compete

Zhen Quanquan (suit and leather shoes, striding forward): According to my investigation, in this increasingly competitive market, it is indeed difficult to find a good job. Comrades, I have also come here to apply for a job in order to survive.

The first examiner said: You are all here to apply. What our company is looking for is marketing talents, either with academic qualifications or experience. You are all academically qualified. .

(Suddenly a man in tattered clothes rushed in from outside the door. He ran too fast and almost fell down)

The farmer who rushed in scratched his head and said honestly: Sister, I’m sorry. I'm late

(The deputy examiner was furious): Who is your eldest sister? This girl is only as old as a flower! ! Eh? How could such a person suddenly appear! # Ceba网

(Long Min looked at the examiner in surprise and said): Sister? There are no flowers in my village, only bunches and bunches! (Exaggeratedly, using a hugging posture to describe the abundance of flowers)

(The deputy examiner clenched his fists to suppress his anger and said): Okay. Now start introducing yourself and give your name, address, age, ethnicity, birthday, gender, marital status, and education. . . . Submit it

(Three applicants expressed surprise) (The examiner smiled and said): No need to go so far, just submit your names, education and experience

Zhen Quanquan : That’s about it, otherwise I would have thought we were at the police station!

Tai Youcai: My name is Tai Youcai, from Thailand. I graduated with a master's degree. After being influenced by school culture, tempered by society, and tested by life, I came to your company to apply. I will use my knowledge to promote the company, use my culture to promote it, and bring the world view, values, and concept of honor and disgrace to the overall interests of the company. . . .

Assistant examiner: Stop, stop, wordy, next one! (Tai Youcai adjusted his glasses, raised his head and stepped back)

Zhen Quanquan: My name is Zhen Quanquan, Zhende’s Zhen. I graduated from that H university. Due to the competition in the society, well, right, I came to this company, and then, I wanted to apply for this position. I have finished my words, thank you for copyright Ceba.com

(The examiner in the middle adds his own movements)

Long Min: My name is Long Min, a dragon (the whole audience burst into laughter) I have nothing but rich experience. Please tell me what experience you have. Back to decomposition.

Zhen Quanquan: After all, he is a dragon citizen, and his name is so peasant

Examiner: Okay, okay, let’s start asking questions

Deputy examiner: If a beautiful girl appeared in front of you, how would you promote yourself and make her accept you?

Long Min: Examiner, can you not do it? I already have a daughter-in-law, and I'm afraid that my daughter-in-law won't let me sleep in the bed.

(Angry) Assistant Examiner: Hypothesis, hypothetical do you understand? ! !

Long Min: Assumption, oh.

Tai Youcai: Hey, I feel really sad for the ignorant people.

Tai Youcai: I will recite a very emotional poem to make her surrender to my literary talent. Long Min: Although I am still afraid, I must seize the opportunity. I will say: Big Girl, I can cook, I can wash, I can farm, and I can take care of a baby, but I can’t have a baby. Can you help me give birth to a fat baby? This article comes from Ceba.com

Assistant examiner: Tai Youcai, do you think a poem can impress that girl? If that's the case, then many old ladies will fall in love with you every day because you say a lot of things every day.

Now go and recite a poem to see if you can get the aunt across from you to accept you.

Deputy examiner: Zhen has the right, you said you can call her All the traffic police will help you. Well, first go to a girl on the street alone and say loudly that you love her, and see if she will say you are crazy!

Deputy Examiner: Long Min, hey, you’re such a bear and you still want someone else’s girl to give you a baby? Do you think others are your own pigs? Give birth to a child if you want to.

Assistant examiner: Since you are promoting yourself, you should attack the other party as a fortress.

Long Min: Examiner, this is a time of peace. Where is the fortress? If we were to attack the Japanese fortress now, the strong men in my village would have already picked up hoes. Is it my turn? ?

Deputy Examiner: Hey, you, this is still a hypothesis, a hypothesis! ! Hey, I'm just wondering, Long Min, why did you get admitted as one of our applicants?

Long Min: I have experience (patting his chest, holding his head high, showing pride) #ceba网

Deputy examiner: Do you have experience? Then how come you are so ignorant?

Long Min (expressing grievance): No, I really have experience. Look, I have sold chickens at home, pigs in the village, cows in the countryside, and so on. I have sold blood in the city, isn’t this all based on experience? Oh, by the way, when I was selling cattle, a young man in his early 20s said to me, uncle, how dare you sell cattle on the road, you are really awesome. The one in the middle with the awesome one, I wondered what it meant. Later, when I was caught by the urban management, the urban management officer said to me, "You are really awesome." I'm still wondering, how come when I buy a cow, it becomes cow ABC?

(The deputy examiner lowered his head and was silent for a while) Then he raised his head and said: I think you can go home and sell blood again

Long Min: Examiner, what you said is wrong. I sell blood in the city, not at home. I don’t have the equipment at home

Deputy examiner: Oh! (Shaking his head)

Examiner: Now, can you seriously talk about how you think you should promote yourself so that the girl can accept you?

Long Min: I think so. . .

Deputy Examiner: Nonsense, if there is no problem, can it be called a problem?

Tai Youcai: I think this question is of great value for discussion. If you allow me to call my tutor and ask,

Examiners: You. . . .

Examiner: Why do you think this question is so difficult?

Long Min, Tai is talented, Zhen has the right,: This question is not good {Long Min stood up from the edge of the stage}

The deputy examiner said fiercely: Who is called Long Min? When you get up, go back and squat down

Long Min squatted down dejectedly, holding his head in his hands

Deputy examiner: Why is this problem bad?

(Long Min stood up again and walked to the stage) Long Min said: Examiner, are you willing to sell yourself? Ceba.com

Deputy Examiner: Who told you to sell yourself?

Long Min said: Doesn’t promoting oneself mean selling oneself? Examiner, are you willing to sell yourself?

(The examiner was angry, the other two applicants laughed)

Zhen Quanquan: I called all the traffic police to shout loudly where the girl appeared: Beautiful girl: Zhen I have the right, I really love Long Min: Although I am still afraid, I still want to seize the opportunity. I will say: Sister, I can cook, I can wash, I can farm, and I can take care of the baby, but I can’t have a baby. Can you help me give birth to a fat baby? This article comes from Ceba.com

Assistant examiner: Tai Youcai, do you think a poem can impress that girl? If that's the case, then many old ladies will fall in love with you every day because you say a lot of things every day.

Now go and recite a poem to see if you can get the aunt across from you to accept you.

Deputy examiner: Zhen has the right, you said you can call her All the traffic police will help you. Well, first go to a girl on the street alone and say loudly that you love her, and see if she will say you are crazy!

Deputy Examiner: Long Min, hey, you’re such a bear and you still want someone else’s girl to give you a baby? Do you think others are your own pigs? Give birth to a child if you want to.

Assistant examiner: Since you are promoting yourself, you should attack the other party as a fortress.

Long Min: Examiner, this is a time of peace. Where is the fortress? If we were to attack the Japanese fortress now, the strong men in my village would have already picked up hoes. Is it my turn? ?

Deputy Examiner: Hey, you, this is still a hypothesis, a hypothesis! ! Hey, I'm just wondering, Long Min, why did you get admitted as one of our applicants?

Long Min: I have experience (patting his chest, holding his head high, showing pride) #ceba网

Deputy examiner: Do you have experience? Then how come you are so ignorant?

Long Min (expressing grievance): No, I really have experience. Look, I have sold chickens at home, pigs in the village, cows in the countryside, and so on. I have sold blood in the city, isn’t this all based on experience? Oh, by the way, when I was selling cattle, a young man in his early 20s said to me, uncle, how dare you sell cattle on the road, you are really awesome. The one in the middle with the awesome one, I wondered what it meant. Later, when I was caught by the urban management, the urban management officer said to me, "You are really awesome." I'm still wondering, how come when I buy a cow, it becomes cow ABC?

(The deputy examiner lowered his head and was silent for a while) Then he raised his head and said: I think you can go home and sell blood again

Long Min: Examiner, what you said is wrong. I sell blood in the city, not at home. I don’t have the equipment at home

Deputy examiner: Oh! (Shaking his head)

Examiner: Now, can you seriously talk about how you think you should promote yourself so that the girl can accept you?

Long Min: I think so. . .

Deputy Examiner: Nonsense, if there is no problem, can it be called a problem?

Tai Youcai: I think this question is of great value for discussion. If you allow me to call my tutor and ask,

Examiners: You. . . .

Examiner: Why do you think this question is so difficult?

Long Min, Tai is talented, Zhen has the right,: This question is not good {Long Min stood up from the edge of the stage}

The deputy examiner said fiercely: Who is called Long Min? When you get up, go back and squat down

Long Min squatted down dejectedly, holding his head in his hands

Deputy examiner: Why is this problem bad?

(Long Min stood up again and walked to the stage) Long Min said: Examiner, are you willing to sell yourself? Ceba.com

Deputy Examiner: Who told you to sell yourself?

Long Min said: Doesn’t promoting oneself mean selling oneself? Examiner, are you willing to sell yourself?

(The examiner is angry, the other two candidates laugh) Examiner: Don’t you think you are like a commodity now? Living in this highly competitive environment, there are too many people with academic qualifications and backgrounds. There are more experienced ones. If you can’t sell yourself well, do you think any company will accept you? The examiner just used an analogy. In fact, that girl is the job you are looking for. If you can't get that girl to accept you, it means you can't get the company you are looking for to accept you. In the end, you will still have nothing. Hope you can understand. In fact, we have conducted a detailed investigation on you before you came to our company to apply. We already know something about you, and our company is in need of talents like you. Tai Youcai: with profound academic qualifications, can make a great contribution to the company in persuading customers. Zhen has power, is calm in situations, and is very good at using personal relationships to achieve promotional purposes.

Long Min, although you are a bit naive and lack knowledge, I believe that most bosses still like to do business with honest people, and at least they will be honest. So we will temporarily hire the three of you with a trial period of 2 months.

(Long Min, Tai Youcai, Zhen Quanquan was surprised)

Tai Youcai: Sorry, examiner, I think this is too unfair and I believe in my knowledge, so I I hope the four examiners can give us another chance, and we must convince them to hire us

Examiner: Very good, where does Zhen have the right to do so?

Zhen Quanquan: I have never known how to write surrender. I agree with what Tai Youcai said

(The examiner smiled): Well (4 examiners and the first 2 A job applicant looked at Long Min with suspicious eyes)

(Long Min raised his hands in fear): My wife told me when I went out that I should learn more from the people in the city after I came out. You guys listen to my wife's words very much, so I followed the footsteps of the two urban college students in front of me.

(Everyone laughed)

Examiner: Then we will examine three people again at the same time tomorrow. (Applause)

[End]