Apply for classic quotations

Apply for the classic quotation 1: "Do you want to recruit?"

A company is well paid and the booth is crowded, so many candidates are directly rejected. A man fought his way through the crowd, squeezed into the table, waved his fist and shouted, "Are you going to confess or not?"

Apply for classic quotations 2, "two-way choice"

When you go to the job fair, you will submit your resume when you see the booth. One of the booths really didn't vote and voted for the vice president directly. The recruited MM looked at me and said, "Do you think we can still entrust this company to you now?" I said, "What are you worried about? We are a two-way choice! "

Apply for classic quotations 3. "We don't want notebooks."

When I came to the job fair, I handed in a thick stack of resumes, which were carefully produced and printed by laser. The other party knocked me to the bottom in one sentence: "Sorry, what we want is a resume, not a notebook!" "

Apply for classic quotations 4. "The temple is too small to hold the big bodhisattva."

Going to a job fair with my classmates, both of them voted for the same company, but it seems that people are not interested. After he came back, he complained that MM, who was in charge of recruitment, was ignorant of Mount Tai and could not see his strengths. I sneer: "People are well-informed, how can you not see your strengths?" However, people think that your strengths are not long enough ... "He paused, and then retorted," Aren't you the same result? "

I took a break and answered, "How can I be like you? Didn't you hear what people finally told me? " I cleared my throat: "People say,' There is no room for a big bodhisattva in a small temple!'" " "

Apply for the classic quotation 5: "Learn from foreigners to control foreigners"

When I applied for a job in a foreign company, people asked me why I chose it. By some strange coincidence, I even said, "Control foreigners like foreigners!" He was kicked out on the spot.

Classic Quotation 6: "Are you from a famous university?"

Last June, 5438+065438+ 10, I learned that a job fair for news system talents was being held in Shanghai, and I rushed there non-stop. I hung up my clothes and held them in my hand for fear of being crumpled in my suit on the train. When I arrived in Shanghai, I found a bathroom to change clothes, adjusted my hair and went straight to the job fair. There are more than 20 resumes in the bag, one after another. I didn't expect the other person to look up at my resume and ask me, "Are you from a famous university?" I can't wait to tell her the glorious history of the school in the past hundred years, but under the attention of everyone, I still disappeared in despair.

Apply for the classic quotation 7: "Boss, do you want to recruit coolies?"

Although I just want to be a coolie, I have to dress up before I can find a job in the biggest talent market in Beijing! You can't make a fool of yourself in public. So I wore a suit and tie, polished my shoes and went on my way. When I arrived at the talent market, I saw a sea of people, which was impenetrable. I didn't squeeze in, thinking, "With my conditions, finding a coolie is also a piece of cake!" " "So I waited and waited, and the sun went down, and no one came to recruit me. It's almost hopeless At this time, a man came quickly, and I quickly adjusted my hair. As long as he asks, I will agree to whatever conditions.

He came over and said only one sentence: "Boss, do you want to recruit a coolie?"

Apply for classic quotation 8: "Tell a joke!"

A famous entrepreneur personally presided over the interview. I turned in my resume with trepidation. The entrepreneur asked nothing but, "Tell a joke!" "I talked for a long time, and finally came up with a joke about parrots:" A man went to a pet store to buy parrots, and the owner said to him,' We have three parrots, the blue one can speak four languages, which costs 1000 yuan, the red one can speak six languages, which costs 3,000 yuan, and the yellow one can't speak, which costs 5,000 yuan. "How did this happen?" the man shouted. "It can't do anything!" "Well," explained the shopkeeper, "we don't know, but the other two call it the boss." "After I say that finish, my face is blue. I know it's over this time!

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