Come sketches with 5 people, three men and two women. Please recommend, good points will be added

The first one

2 examiners, 3 applicants

(A company is recruiting a sales manager)

Applicant: Long Min: an agricultural farmer, Tai Youcai: a talented student with no social background, Zhen Quanquan: a son of a government official.

Tai Youcai (backing this hand, walking, raising his head and thinking): Time leaves no one behind, time flies by, and in today’s market, I am here to compete

Zhen Quanquan (in suit and leather shoes, striding forward): According to my investigation, in this increasingly competitive market, it is indeed difficult to find a good job. Comrades, I have also come here to apply for a job in order to survive.

The first examiner said: You are all here to apply. Our company is looking for talents in sales, either with academic qualifications or experience. You are all academically qualified. .

(Suddenly a man in tattered clothes rushed in from outside the door. He ran too fast and almost fell down)

The farmer who rushed in scratched his head and said honestly: Sister, I’m sorry. I'm late

(The deputy examiner was furious): Who is your eldest sister? This girl is only as old as a flower! ! Eh? How could such a person suddenly appear!

(Long Min looked at the examiner in surprise and said): Sister? There are no flowers in my village, only bunches and bunches! (Exaggeratedly, using a hugging posture to describe the abundance of flowers)

(The deputy examiner clenched his fists to suppress his anger and said): Okay. Now start introducing yourself and give your name, address, age, ethnicity, birthday, gender, marital status, and education. . . . Submit it

(Three applicants expressed surprise) (The examiner smiled and said): No need to go so far, just submit your names, education and experience

Zhen Quanquan : That’s about it, otherwise I would have thought we were at the police station!

Tai Youcai: My name is Tai Youcai, from Thailand. I graduated with a master's degree. After being influenced by school culture, tempered by society, and tested by life, I came to your company to apply. I will use my knowledge to promote the company, use my culture to promote it, and bring the world view, values, and concept of honor and disgrace to the overall interests of the company. . . .

Assistant examiner: Stop, stop, wordy, next one! (Tai Youcai adjusted his glasses, raised his head and stepped back)

Zhen Quanquan: My name is Zhen Quanquan, Zhende’s Zhen. I graduated from that H university. Due to the competition in society, well, right, I came to this company, and then, I wanted to apply for this position. I have finished my words, thank you all

(middle The examiner’s actions will be added by himself)

Long Min: My name is Long Min, and I am a dragon (the whole audience burst into laughter). I have nothing but rich experience. Please listen to the next chapter to explain my specific experience.

Zhen Quanquan: After all, he is a dragon citizen, and his name is so peasant

Examiner: Okay, okay, let’s start asking questions

Deputy examiner: If a beautiful girl appeared in front of you, how would you promote yourself and make her accept you?

Long Min: Examiner, can you not do it? I already have a daughter-in-law, and I'm afraid that my daughter-in-law won't let me sleep in the bed.

(Angry) Assistant Examiner: Hypothesis, hypothetical do you understand? ! !

Long Min: Assumption, oh.

Tai Youcai: Hey, I feel really sad for the ignorant people.

Tai Youcai: I will recite a very emotional poem to make her surrender to my literary talent

Zhen Quanquan: I will call all the traffic policemen there Where the girl appeared, she shouted loudly: Beautiful girl: I have the right to be honest, I really love you

Long Min: Although I am still afraid, I must seize the opportunity. I will say: Big sister, I can cook. I can do laundry, I can farm, and I can take care of a baby, but I can’t give birth to a baby. Can you help me give birth to a fat baby?

Deputy Examiner: Tai Youcai, do you think a poem can impress that girl? If that's the case, then many old ladies will fall in love with you every day because you say a lot of things every day. Now go and recite a poem to see if you can get the aunt across from you to accept you.

Deputy examiner: Zhen has the right, you said you can call her All the traffic police will help you. Well, first go to the street alone and find a girl and say loudly that you love her, and see if she will say you are crazy!

Deputy Examiner: Long Min, hey, you’re such a bear and you still want someone else’s girl to give you a baby? Do you think others are pigs raised by you? Give birth to a child if you want to.

Assistant examiner: Since you are promoting yourself, you should attack the other party as a fortress.

Long Min: Examiner, this is a peaceful era. Where can there be a fortress? If we want to fight against the Japanese fortress now, the strong men in my village will have already picked up hoes. Is it my turn? ?

Assistant examiner: Hey, you, this is still a hypothesis, a hypothesis! ! Hey, I'm just wondering, Long Min, why did you get admitted as one of our applicants?

Long Min: I have experience (patting his chest, holding his head high, showing pride)

Deputy examiner: Do you have experience? Then how come you are so ignorant?

Long Min (expressing grievance): No, I really have experience. Look, I have sold chickens at home, pigs in the village, cows in the countryside, and so on. I have sold blood in the city. Isn’t this all experience? Oh, by the way, when I was selling cattle, a young man in his early 20s said to me, uncle, how dare you sell cattle on the road, you are really awesome. The one in the middle with the awesome one, I wondered what it meant. Later, when I was caught by the urban management, the urban management officer said to me, "You are really awesome." I'm still wondering, how come when I buy a cow, it becomes cow ABC?

(The deputy examiner lowered his head and was silent for a while) Then he raised his head and said: I think you can go home and sell blood again

Long Min: Examiner, what you said is wrong. I sell blood in the city, not at home. I don’t have the equipment at home

Deputy examiner: Oh! (Shaking his head)

Examiner: Now, can you seriously talk about how you think you should promote yourself so that the girl can accept you?

Long Min: I think so. . . < /p>

Deputy Examiner: Nonsense, if there is no problem, can it be called a problem?

Tai Youcai: I think this question is of great value for discussion. If you allow me to call my tutor and ask,

Examiners: You. . . .

Examiner: Why do you think this question is so difficult?

Long Min, Tai is talented, Zhen has the right,: This question is not good {Long Min stood up from the edge of the stage}

The deputy examiner said fiercely: Who is called Long Min? When you get up, go back and squat down

Long Min squatted down dejectedly, holding his head in his hands

Deputy examiner: Why is this problem bad?

(Long Min stood up again and walked to the stage) Long Min said: Examiner, are you willing to sell yourself?

Deputy Examiner: Who told you to sell yourself?

Long Min said: Doesn’t promoting oneself mean selling oneself? Examiner, are you willing to sell yourself?

(The examiner is angry, the other two candidates laugh)

Examiner: Don’t you think you are like a commodity now? Living in this highly competitive environment, there are too many people with academic qualifications and backgrounds. There are more experienced ones. If you can’t sell yourself well, do you think any company will accept you? The examiner just used an analogy. In fact, that girl is the job you are looking for. If you can't get that girl to accept you, it means you can't get the company you are looking for to accept you. In the end, you will still have nothing. Hope you can understand. In fact, we have conducted a detailed investigation on you before you came to our company to apply. We already know something about you, and our company is in need of talents like you. Tai Youcai: with profound academic qualifications, can make a great contribution to the company in persuading customers. Zhen has power, is calm in situations, and is very good at using personal relationships to achieve promotional purposes. Long Min, even though you are a bit naive and lack knowledge, I believe that most bosses still like to do business with honest people, and at least they will be honest. So we will temporarily hire the three of you with a trial period of 2 months.

(Long Min, Tai Youcai, Zhen Quanquan was surprised)

Tai Youcai: Sorry, examiner, I think this is too unfair and I believe in my knowledge, so I I hope the four examiners can give us another chance, and we must convince them to hire us

Examiner: Very good, where does Zhen have the right to do so?

Zhen Quanquan: I have never known how to write surrender. I agree with what Tai Youcai said

(The examiner smiled): Well (4 examiners and the first 2 A job applicant looked at Long Min with suspicious eyes)

(Long Min raised his hands in fear): My wife told me when I went out that I should learn more from the people in the city after I came out. You guys listen to my wife's words very much, so I followed the footsteps of the two urban college students in front of me.

(Everyone laughed)

Examiner: Then we will examine three people again at the same time tomorrow.

(Applause)

Second

A: We have to perform today;

B: Ask four of me to perform the show;

C: Thinking hard for a long time;

Ding: (Clenches a fist with his left hand above his left eye socket, lowers his head) Cool!

A: Not good at singing and dancing;

B: Can’t perform the cross talk sketch;

C: The performance is about to start;

Ding: (dumbfounded) Mu!

A: It’s useless to complain again and again;

B: It’s better to go online for help;

C: There are so many works online;

Ding: (showing surprise) Blush!

A: Hurry around and click;

B: See where there is a way out;

C: The jokes and riddles are really good;

Ding: (thumbs up) Accept it!

A: There’s a really good joke;

B: I’m sure you’ll laugh your ass off after hearing it;

C: Make it into a three-and-a-half-sentence sentence;

>

Ding: OK?

(Stop and ask everyone if it’s okay, then continue)

A: Since everyone says it’s okay;

B: The four of us will take it It makes a show;

C: Let’s perform at the party;

Ding: It’s a mission!

A: It is said that a certain girl is ugly;

B: She has grown to thirty-nine;

C: She has never been able to get married;

Ding: Worry!

A: I heard that people are kidnapped in a certain place;

B: Sold as women into the valley;

C: The thought of an ugly girl is really good;

Ding: Let’s go!

A: As expected, I was stared at as soon as I left;

B: The ugly girl had her head covered;

C: Caught in the car and started driving;

Ding: Drive away!

A: The car stopped halfway;

B: The trafficker was so frightened that he fainted;

C: Who wants such an ugly woman;

p>

Ding: Turn around!

A: The car returned to the old place;

B: The ugly girl refused to leave;

C: I was willing to be sold as a woman;

Ding: Rare.

A: The trafficker is worried this time;

B: I don’t know how to drive her away;

C: Suddenly Hengxin roared;

Ding: Leave the car, let’s go!

A, B, C: (looking at Ding) Huh? ! (End)

The third one

Service attitude

A Actors must have a certain spirit when they go on stage.

B Really? No matter what you do, you must have the right service attitude.

A Hey, it’s the same in any job.

B Really?

A For example, if you are a salesperson and you have a bad attitude, is that okay?

B’s bad attitude made all the customers angry.

A Well, are you angry? Then you are happy.

B Hey, what?

A Then things will be easier without you as a customer. Then you will still get your monthly salary. How can that be a good thing? Well, you don’t want others to give you advice.

B That pair.

A Have you ever seen anyone who stood up against people in the old society being unhappy?

B No.

A Have any customers become so angry that they ran away?

B That’s not the case.

A Still yes. In the old sociology business, you have to learn this first.

B What to study?

A The shopkeeper will teach you.

B Yeah.

A You have to be patient when doing business.

B Hey, that’s right, I can endure it.

A Hey, the apprentice must learn that song first.

B What?

A Geer.

B Geer?

A Well, it shows that this person is very patient in doing business.

B Well, I haven’t heard of that.

A Never heard of it?

B Then can you tell me what the words of this song are?

A "Buying and selling can be tolerated, and harmony makes money. No matter whether you are rich or poor, you will be treated equally. When the familiar owner of the business comes, he will come to the counter with a smile. Don't be sleepy. Don't be in a daze. Why don't you do business like yours?" Get rich."

Yum! What kind of theory is there for doing business?

A In the past, apprentices would sing this. String 1

B Well, sing?

A Ah, sing.

B How to sing?

A (singing) "Buying and selling can be tolerated, and harmony brings wealth. No matter who is poor or rich, we should treat him the same. When the familiar owner of the business comes, he comes to the counter with a smile. Don't get sleepy. Don't worry. I'm in a daze, how can I not make a fortune in this business like yours?"

Oh?

A For example, you go to a shoe store to buy casual shoes.

B Hey.

A "Here are some thousand-layer loafers."

B Yes.

A "It's a dress." Let's see how big your feet are -

How about B?

A When he looked at it, he saw that it was about the same as ninety-eight.

B Oh, wearing 98’s.

A took a pair. "You try this pair." The person tried it -

How about B?

A "Tighten it up."

B Ah.

A "Tighter?" OK, I'll get you another pair.

B Oh.

A took another one foot, and the one said: "No, it's big." What do you think we should do? Those who are one foot tall wear big clothes, and those who are ninety-eight meters tall wear small clothes.

B What about the one with ninety-nine points?

A doesn’t have that number.

B What should we do?

A If I get the third pair, it will still be 98, and I can sell this pair to you.

B Which one is suitable? Can people buy it?

A What he said is right.

B Oh.

A He will deal with you in a different way, so that you can buy the shoes with satisfaction.

B Look at it.

A Look at this pair of shoes. Isn’t it smaller for those wearing 98-8 shoes? I'll give you the handle of the duster to support and knead it first. "Try this." "This won't work. It's better to be tighter." "Yes, this is how you wear new shoes. If you buy new shoes, they will fit you right away. They will be too big after two days." String 3

What about B?

A "Why don't you wear them tighter now? If you step on them for two days, won't they become looser? They must be suitable." "No, I don't really like the look of these shoes. , The face is long." "The face is good, it hugs the feet. It will save you trouble if you step on it!" "That won't work, the bottom is too thick. It’s so thick, it doesn’t hurt your feet when you wear it!”

Look!

A If he has all the words, he can sell this pair of shoes.

B Oh.

A: Let’s talk about his method. It doesn’t matter whether you are dressed appropriately or not, he will sell you with his words.

B Look, hey.

A But now you want to be a salesperson and this won’t work!

B Ah.

A Being a salesperson not only requires a good service attitude.

B Yes.

A: Never get tired of asking questions. It has to be this way, to take care of people's practicality, you can't just talk nonsense, sell it casually, roll it out without replacing it, that won't work.

B Seek truth from facts.

A Hey, look at how nice this waiter’s attitude is now.

B Yes.

A Which cooperative or department store did you go to? What a great salesperson!

B is good.

A But there are also some shortcomings.

B Oh, individually.

A Hey, almost. He never felt at ease at work and didn't love his business.

B Look.

A He always wanted to be a salesperson. What future would he have? ah? It would be great to do something else: construction department, factory or mine, even if I do administrative work, in the future I can...ah, I should be a leading cadre!

B Look.

A You said this guy works as a salesperson in a cooperative. Who do you think is the leader? Leadership bananas, apples, rubber shoes? There is no future! You said a salesperson should have this in mind and have a good service attitude? String 2

B That’s right, there’s something wrong with his thinking!

A just said yes, he always thought, "Whether I do two and a half kilograms, I can do it somewhere else, and I can eat no matter where I do it"!

B Look, what kind of thinking is this!

A This is broken. Once I went to the cooperative to buy rubber shoes, and I met that comrade, who was not very happy.

B Oh.

A I saw a pair of rubber shoes in the window. They were very good. "Hey, comrade, I'm buying rubber shoes." "What kind of shoes do you want?" "Just like the one on display." I took it over and took a look. It's size 37, nine inches tall. It fits me perfectly.

B Then buy it.

A Yes. I said: "Then you can give me two more pairs to choose from." "No more, just this pair!"

B You are lucky, this is the only pair left.

A Who said that? He is afraid of trouble.

B Ah!

A I said: "Okay, just buy this pair."

B Yes.

A pulled out another one from underneath, put it in a box, bundled it, issued a ticket, and I took it back. When I got home, I opened it and took a look. I couldn’t wear it!

B What, is it bad?

A Not bad!

B Then why can’t I wear it?

A Both of them are left-footed!

B Ah! Is this smooth? !

A Ah - what do you think we should do?

B Then change it quickly!

A: No, I’ve been busy for the past two days and haven’t had time to change. I’ll think about it in a few days. A week later I went to exchange it again, and when I got there, it was sold out.

B Look at it.

A I said: "Then what should I do...I can't wear these - you can't sell out these two left-footed ones, you still have two right-footed ones. "No, I'm not sure who bought it!"

String 1

Well, that one can't wear it either!

A I said: "Then what should I do if I wait to wear it? You change it for me." "Change it at the warehouse!" Well, I ran several miles to the warehouse to ask. There are full boxes of them there!

B That’s right.

A "You still have to go to the sales department to change."

B That's right.

A ran back and forth four times without changing his shoes. It was raining that day. It rained heavily and my casual shoes were completely damaged.

B, what do you do?

A As soon as I think about it, I won’t wait any longer. I'll buy a pair to wear first. Another co-op.

B Well, how about this salesperson?

A Hey, great! Compared with that comrade, it is very different! That's great! I said: "Comrade, buy rubber shoes." "Oh, how big do you want them to be?" "One foot eight."

B Huh? Don’t you wear nine-inch ones? !

A Ah, that’s not...two.

B Liang...does anyone talk like this?

He was also happy and took it out: "Take a look, how does this look?" I said: "Okay, it looks good just like this." "Can you try it? It doesn't suit me." Change it." I said, "Okay, I'll just wear this size, don't try it on." He said, "You'd better give it a try. If it doesn't fit, you can change it. If it gets muddy in the future, it won't be good." Changed."

B is right. Then try it.

A I can’t do it, my feet are covered in mud even in my slippers!

B There is no other way.

He said: "It doesn't matter, I have a footbath here." He ran to the back, gave me some water, and took an old towel: "Wash it. It's a good idea to wash it. Try."

String 6

Yi ho!

A You said this kind of service attitude is so good!

B That’s great!

A Hey, so, the people will praise this person with a good service attitude.

B That’s right.

A Representatives from the National Activists Conference came to Beijing for a meeting. How lively it was!

B Yes.

A comes from different jobs, and they are all good servants of the people.

B Of course, how about being elected as a representative?

A Yes, people like that person with a bad service attitude can also attend the meeting.

B Huh?

A Participate in the review meeting.

B Cough! That's not honorable!

A There is something wrong with this service attitude.

B Yes?

A Yes, service attitude. Sometimes when you encounter people with this kind of service attitude, you feel even more terrible.

B Oh, what?

A There is such a kind of "judge-style" salesperson.

B "judge-like"?

A. When he stood there, there was no smile on his face at all.

B What is this for?

A probably means he is serious?

B Why should the salesperson be so serious?

A That’s it. You haven’t even spoken to him yet, and if you say a few words to him, he’ll make you angry! There is such a person.

B We are here to buy things, why are we angry with him?

A You can’t help but be angry, he is irritating! He's irritating!

B I don’t believe it, how could such a thing happen?

A If you don’t believe it, you are the customer, and I am the salesperson. You will definitely make you angry if you say a few words to me!

B Really? Well, let’s try it! String 1

A row.

B You are the salesperson.

A Yes.

B I am this customer.

A Yes.

B "Hey, comrade!"

A "What are you doing?" (pretending to be impatient) This first sentence sounds ridiculous to you, but when you look at it, you say: "What are you doing? "What do you want people to do in cooperatives? Just buy things. Can people go to cooperatives if they want to see a doctor?"

B Yes, the cooperative doesn’t have an outpatient department either.

A Yes. Just listen, you are still angry! "What are you doing?"

B "I'll buy bananas, okay?"

A "Who do you discuss with? Make up your own mind!"

B "It's not a discussion, let me ask if it's okay?"

A "We don't sell bad ones here, all the good ones."

B "I'm afraid it's not familiar."< /p>

A "Cooked! The cooked ones are rotten here! Go to Guangdong for the cooked ones! Do you want to buy it? If you don't buy it, don't waste your time, I can give it to others!"

B "Buy it!"

A "Yes. How much do you want?"

B "You give me two kilograms. Hey, pick something bigger."

”

A “Well! Do you want a big one? Who will sell the remaining ones to? You are selfish! "

B "Who is selfish? I'm afraid the little one won't be sweet. ”

A “There is nothing that is not sweet.” Bananas are sweet, not salty. This is a banana, do you understand? This is not pickled radish! "

B Oh, this is quite irritating. "How to sell cantaloupe? ”

A “Eight cents of cantaloupe.” ”

B “One?” ”

A “Give it to you for free?” One pound. ”

B “A pound?” Why is it so expensive? ”

A “Expensive?” air transport! Do you know? Do you understand air transport? Stronger than you! Been on a plane. " String 2

B "Okay, give me a pound, and I'll try the cantaloupe I've had on the plane. Okay, how much does one *** cost? ”

A “One-six cents, three cents and two, one dollar and one cent.” ”

B “Okay, give me five yuan.” ”

A “No! Those who take change have no change! ”

B “I don’t have zero votes.” ”

A “No zero?” Waiting here, I’ll find you when I’ve sold enough! ”

B “That’s not possible, I’m still waiting to go to work!” ”

A “Going to work?” Can't wait? ”

B “Can’t wait. ”

A “Bought them all!” "

B "I... I bought a banana for five yuan, how can I eat it? ”

A “Then who are you asking?” That's your own problem. Who asked you to buy things without bringing zero coupons? ”

B “Hey! Comrade, please have a better attitude. Look at your face! ”

A “Aren’t you buying something?” Do you see what's happening on my face? Oh, you are here to be my matchmaker! Oh, what's the point of dissatisfaction? Give me your opinion! If there are any comments there, please write them up! I still want to give you some advice! What's your last name? What's it called? Which unit are you from? What are you? Which unit are you from? What are your ingredients? ..."

Is this ridiculous?

A is good or bad. How do you think this compares?

B is it? , too far!

A also has this Coca-Cola thing!

B, what’s the matter?

A, let me tell you what happened to me. All special!

B Oh.

A, I met something during the Spring Festival, that was so exciting!

B, what’s going on? /p>

On the 30th night of the Spring Festival, I took three bottles and went to the cooperative to buy sesame oil, wine, and kerosene. When I got there, there were three bottles, and I said: "Sesame oil, wine, and kerosene." , a pound of the same thing! Fight. "Just because this comrade was careless, I didn't even eat the dumplings.

String 4

What about B?

A is careless. He is careless. It's all wrong!

Why did B make a mistake?

He poured the sesame oil into the kerosene bottle! He poured the wine into the bottle! It’s in the sesame oil bottle!

B, is it all wrong?

I didn’t even look at it at the time. I took it back and found out the next day.

B, then ask him to change it!

A can’t do it! He has a holiday from the first to the fifth day of the new year!

B, let’s talk about it on the sixth day of the lunar month.

A, I don’t want to eat this dumpling.

B.

< p>A, isn’t he working there attentively? When he saw me, a cross talk actor, he teased me: “Hey! Which? Oh, kerosene, sesame oil, wine. OK, hey! How about you come here for a while? Talk about Duan'er, talk about Duan'er's cross talk, it's interesting! " - Bian'er was teasing, while he was playing (learning the movements of drinking): "How about you come to the part of "Buy the Monkey"? "Buying Monkey" is great! "Buy the Monkey" is very interesting, it's so carefree, carefree, and laughing. "He was so funny, it was all wrong!

B was also confused!

A and I didn't eat the dumplings.

B Yes.

A is looking forward to the sixth day of the lunar month, so I went to see him early in the morning.

B must talk to him.

A: "Comrade, how do you do this job?" What is on your mind? You pour the wine into the sesame oil bottle for me, and I just drink it. Do you see this? What do you think of these two bottles? This is kerosene, you put it in the bottle! This is a kerosene bottle. You can make it into sesame oil, complete with oil and bottle. What do you think we should do? He said: "Oh, you blame me for this!" This is a kerosene bottle. I thought it was a sesame oil bottle, but I was mistaken. Oh, this...this is a wine bottle. I filled it with kerosene, and I still thought it was wine.

I was just thinking about asking you to do a cross talk, and that’s why I messed up when I was talking! "Dong dong dong dong...

String 7

Did B pour the kerosene into the oil barrel?

A poured the kerosene into the wine vat!

p>

B...

You didn’t say your age level, so I can only post it this way, please give me extra points~