What are men most afraid of when they are down and out?

When a man is at his most depressed, what he fears most is betrayal and separation. I think that when a man is at his lowest, even his parents, who he usually respects and loves, betray him, this should be the most terrifying thing.

There is a man in his 40s, let’s call him Afeng.

He started from scratch, worked hard in the city to build his own business, and became famous in the villages near his hometown. Because of this, he was recognized by his parents.

Afeng is the third child at home. According to his parents, Afeng should not have come into this world. This was purely an accident. In that era when there was not enough to eat, if it weren't for his grandfather's intervention, Afeng would have become an outcast long ago. My parents' love was all taken away by my eldest and second brothers, and I had no trace of it.

A Feng, who had not finished elementary school, chose to come to Guangdong after he turned eighteen. Like many bloody dramas, Afeng, who has not been home for more than ten years, has worked hard to build his own career and is considered a small success. He returned home and immediately proved himself to his parents, who accepted him. It's just that my parents became the conduits for the eldest brother and the second brother to suck blood from Afeng. The old house at home, the second brother's house in the small county, the eldest brother's son's wedding gift... all were borrowed from Afeng by his parents. But more than ten years have passed, and every time he goes home for the New Year, he has no intention of paying back the money.

The year before last, Afeng’s business failed and his company went bankrupt. After trying every solution, Afeng chose to go home and ask his eldest and second brothers for help. Almost all the family expenses and large items were borne by Afeng. For expenses, there should be some savings at home.

My mother saw Feng that day. She was polite and charming as before. She just thought that Feng would go home to see his old parents when he had time. But early the next morning, someone saw A Feng walking away dejectedly like a dog in mourning. He looked haggard, his eyes were dim, and his beard was messy. He had never seen such a decadent and depressed Afeng. Since then, various versions have been circulated by the tongue-tied women in the village.

I haven’t seen Ah Feng back in the past two years. I don’t know what Ah Feng has been through. I think that when a man is at his lowest, even his parents, who he usually respects and loves, betray him, this should be the most terrifying thing.

When a man is at his most depressed, he is afraid that no one will understand him. He is most afraid that the people he trusts the most and the people closest to him will not understand him. When he is depressed, he must have failed and must have no money. We are kings and losers, and we are not necessarily tigers when we are bullied by dogs. The incomprehension and psychological gap after being destitute are very big.

I don’t know how to answer you, so I will tell you about my own experience. I hope it will be helpful to you. I started doing business in 2009 and it has ended in failure. The consequence of failure is that my family is in ruins. I am currently in debt of 8 million and my family is in debt of 2 million to me. The original intention of starting a business was not to be mediocre and to live a life of mediocrity, but my educational level was very low. I graduated from elementary school, and my abilities were limited. Apart from serving as a soldier for five years and learning a few things, I had no business experience. The biggest pain you face after a business fails is the blame and lack of understanding from your family. I admit that most of the reasons for business failure are because of me personally. But after a real failure, the blame from your family makes you suffer. I even thought about committing suicide in exchange for accident insurance and paying back the Canadian money, but when I think about my children, wife and a few people who have always supported me, I feel that it is really irresponsible to do so. If a person lives for himself, he may choose to commit suicide, because there are so many worries that you don't even dare to think about death. This is the thing I feared the most after I fell into despair. Now I don’t dare to face my family at all. I can withstand the pressure from outside, but this one really almost collapsed several times.

The second is that the quality of life of my wife and children’s elderly parents has been severely reduced due to my failure. At six years old, the child doesn't understand many things, but the invisible harm is already there. The whole day of running around with bill collectors has an impact on the child. My parents, who are sixty years old and have debts with me, have to go out to make money to share the burden with me after retirement. This feeling really makes people feel like living in purgatory. My wife is being chased for debt and cannot live a normal life. Thinking about this makes my soul tremble. I just don’t want to talk about this topic too much and I don’t want to think about it.

Another one is the gap between psychology and life. In 15 and 16 years, when the business was the best, my monthly income was more than 100,000 yuan. The 300-square-meter house with three cars, BMW, Volkswagen, and Land Rover, attracts looks of respect and envy everywhere. Even jealous looks are a kind of enjoyment. After falling into despair, my current means of transportation is a broken tram. I don't have the luxury of escaping reality. I still face the people I should go to and see, but that kind of look and attitude makes you feel uncomfortable.

He looks down upon and despises all kinds of people, and even speaks indifferently. There are also the sarcastic words of a villain who hates the rich and despises the poor. There are always people who say you don’t need to care too much about other people’s opinions. I try to comfort myself, but there are only a few people who can really do it. It will get better after a year of adapting, but the inferiority complex has been engraved in my bones. This is an inner demon that can only be overcome by standing up from an early age. These are the things I fear most after I'm down and out.

Everyone has experienced and will experience depression. What we can do is to change the status quo and stand up again, shoulder our own responsibilities and move forward. I don’t know if any friends are like me. People who are down and out should communicate with people who are down and out. We can warm each other up and create a future.

People are most afraid of losing confidence when they are down.

Most people will be down at times. But don’t be afraid when you are down and out. Be confident that you will be able to turn around and that you are not destined to beg. I have also been in trouble. Eight years ago, my company went bankrupt and all the assets were handed over to the court to pay off long-term debts of nearly 20 million yuan. I firmly believe in myself that if I can lose more than 10 million in a few years, I can also make back more than 10 million in a few years. It turned out that I just wanted to make a little money and live my life easily. After being in huge debt for a long time, they forced me to go to a place with more opportunities to make a lot of money. They insisted on forcing me to become a multi-millionaire or a billionaire. So I never regret anything I did before. If there is an effect, there is a reason. If I were not down, I would not be able to achieve my glory. When water reaches its end, it becomes a waterfall; when a person reaches its end, it becomes a rebirth.

If you lose confidence, your will will collapse and you will not want to make progress. Creditors will lose confidence in you, relatives and friends will also lose confidence in you, and no one will dare to help you. Without anyone to help you, you will really be desperate.

With a strong will, an iron rod can be ground into a needle. If you are confident, in a good mood, you will have good luck, and noble people will naturally come to you.

I wish all the down-and-out people can get out of the darkness and see the light again!

I think this question is very suitable for me to answer. About two years ago, due to investment failure, I was heavily in debt, and whether I had a job or not, I didn’t know what to do. At that time, I was very conflicted and afraid of the market. Ou doesn't want to have so many worries anymore, it's like living alone, not wanting to think about anything!

When it comes to what I am most afraid of, I think it is the fear that my parents will not understand me and blame myself. Children in rural areas like us will find it difficult to get up again after failing once, and people in the village love to watch. It’s a joke. My parents will definitely feel embarrassed. I was afraid that my parents would not understand me. Fortunately, my parents were reasonable and were not affected by the world.

Secondly, I was afraid that my wife and children would leave me. Like the kind of person who is heavily in debt, my wife and children would leave me. There are countless examples. I am afraid that I will become a loner, and I will really have no direction;

The third is the fear of being laughed at by others, the first is the fear of being laughed at by relatives, and the second is the fear of being laughed at by the villagers. In fact, rural areas are not as good as before. You are so down-to-earth, even your relatives are eager to see your jokes. However, this is really unavoidable, and you are treated as an afterthought!

Fourth fear is that I have no direction or goals. When I first came out, I really didn’t know what I could do. It’s still like that now. I can only go to work and hang around. But I firmly believe that if I don’t die, I will always succeed. If I encounter Could anyone please give me some advice? Thanks for this!

Men are most afraid of being powerless when they are down.

I don’t know what is the most down, but I have been down, but I never told my parents, that was in 2005 , our university was an intern, and I worked in a real estate company in Chengdu for three months (I won’t mention the specific company). The first one didn’t have any results, and the second one also wanted to go out on my own, so I worked with my friends to do one. It was a big decision to go to Shanghai. We didn't have much money at that time. I only had about 600 yuan, and my friends had more than 1,000 yuan. I made my decision and immediately bought a train ticket to Shanghai the next day.

We came to Shanghai with good hopes. When the first morning light illuminated the train that was about to arrive in Shanghai, I thought of the song "Have I Ever Told You"

"When the train entered this strange city"

"It was neon that I had never seen before"

I felt that my career was about to begin. Let’s start. The first stop when we arrived in Shanghai was the job market, but the weather didn’t follow our wishes, and there were no jobs that could suit us. Our first consideration was accommodation, so we looked for a few restaurants that provided food and accommodation, and found out What kind of health certificate is required? We didn’t understand these things when we first came to Shanghai, so we passed again.

Finally, I saw in a recruitment newspaper that a KTV was recruiting people, and food and accommodation were included. So I went to give it a try, and the result was approved, but they would not arrange accommodation until the trial period lasted for a week. We took inventory of our belongings. I had about 100 yuan left, and he had about 500 yuan. We thought that if we insisted on sleeping in the bathroom at night and eating two meals during the day, it would be fine for a week.

In the end, I still didn’t persist. I remember that during those five days, we slept in the bathing center for two days, and survived the three days in the park. We ate two meals during the day and steamed buns for lunch. When I feel better in the evening, I add rice porridge. I think that was the most depressed time for me so far. I didn’t worry about the future. What I worried about was that after eating today, I had to think about how to eat the next meal to save money.

I won’t go into details later. In fact, there are many more stories that really happened to me.

People are most afraid of giving up on themselves. It's sad to say that I've been deceived by my friends out of 600 to 700 yuan today. My company was ruined and I sold my RV and it wasn't enough. I still owe 100 to 200 yuan to relatives, friends and banks. My wife got divorced and the family broke up. Since then, Last year, I have been putting off trying to find him for debts. The people outside trying to collect debts from me have driven me crazy. I feel worse than death every day. I don’t dare to stay where I live. Now I am hiding in a construction site in another city and operating a tower crane. But I The phone number still hasn’t been changed. Even though I’m not picking up the phone, keeping it open at least means I’m not dead yet. Even if it’s thousands of dollars a month, I still want to pay it back slowly. I was alone during the Chinese New Year last year, and I almost missed it on the 30th of the twelfth lunar month. I walked alone, but I still couldn’t let go of my elderly mother and son. This year is about to celebrate the New Year, and I don’t know what to do. I’m thinking that if I can’t hold on this year and I leave, I don’t know if I can get the money I lent him. When I come back, if this is the case, I can at least pay back other people's money and use the rest to provide for my mother and my son's education. It should be fine. I really don't want to drag it around like this anymore.

When a man is at his most depressed, he may be most afraid of meeting the person he wants to protect the most.

Let me tell you a story about my friend.

Although he is now more successful than before, he has always chosen to be single.

If you want to ask him why, he will just smile and say, my favorite song is Li Ronghao's "Young and Promising".

Maybe you will be stunned for a moment and don’t understand why the answer is wrong.

Then let me tell you his story.

When he first started his business, he was like all entrepreneurs. Live in the worst house, eat the worst food. I am so busy every day that my feet can’t even touch the floor, let alone something to eat.

Then he met her.

At that time, she was in her best years.

She said, I admire you.

He replied, I don’t have the ability to give you happiness now.

She said, it doesn't matter.

Then they started living together.

Living in the basement, cockroaches crawl through every day, and they are greeted by cockroaches when they open the house.

The humidity caused eczema on her skin, but she still accompanied him in the sun to attract some investment.

She has been accompanying him through hardships.

But later, because of some things, he still lost her.

Later, his career improved. But I still choose to be single.

Just always start looping this song.

The most fearful thing is that there is no hope and darkness in front of us.

When I first went to Shenzhen, my wallet was stolen and I called back because I had no money. I clearly remember digging through the bottles in the trash can and selling them for four yuan and six cents. I called back and asked my family to pay them 500 yuan. come over.

Many people say that Shenzhen is a city with many opportunities, but they still encounter obstacles in finding jobs. They live in Datongpu for ten yuan a night, eat two meals a day, eat vegetarian fried rice noodles in the morning, and then go to San and the talent market, the entry fee is 10 yuan. I rested in Sanhe at noon. In the afternoon, I took the bus to the factory for an interview. After the interview, I came back. I bought two bags of Baixiang instant noodles and asked the boss for boiled water. By the way, there is If you call me, you must come and call me. In fact, it goes without saying that you can call me. It costs 1 yuan to ask someone to answer the phone. This phone number is left for the interview.

It was a very difficult time. I went to the job interview with hope every time, but the last sentence was to go back and wait for the notification. I knew there was no chance. I often dreamed of going home at night and eating delicious meals cooked by my mother. I fall asleep under a comfortable and warm quilt, but often wake up in the middle of the night, sometimes hungry, sometimes woke up from the cold. I will worry about anyone who says there is no winter in Shenzhen in the future. Alas, there is no hope at all during these days, and I am very confused.

Sunshine always comes after the storm

***Mian with the brothers and sisters who worked hard in Shenzhen before and now

I have a buddy who is working out. We have known each other for more than ten years now, and I have watched with my own eyes how he rose to glory and then fell to the bottom step by step

My friend is brave enough to fight, learn to do business, and has failed many times. But one time I went out of town and came back and said that I quit and wanted to go out to do business. I fell in love with fast food and found a partner. Because of his ability, people who were not willing to accept the status quo and invested in him also believed in him. As a result, he became very popular as soon as he opened. I went to more than a dozen stores, and I had a girlfriend at that time. Personally, I felt that I was just trying to save his money. I talked to him several times and still didn’t believe me.

At that time, I lost contact with him due to various reasons. Three years later, my friend contacted me and asked me if I could arrange a job for him. He was immediately confused. I helped arrange a job at the company. It was only when the two of us were drinking at a roadside stall that he spoke his mind.

My friend worked hard every day and looked around for places to open a store. As a result, his girlfriend and his partner got together and kept taking money from my friend. Finally, my friend was fired due to the contract and various reasons. The partner kicked him away and of course his female partner also abandoned him

While drinking, he kept saying how could people be like this nowadays, and now I feel that I was still too young back then.