Write a recruitment application in English with at least 50 words.

Promotion application

I hereby apply for promotion for the following reasons.

1. I like money. Let's face it, when everything comes down to it, who gave a shit about admitting it. You can't buy beer in a bar with it, and it has no resale value.

I can use extra cash. I have a clear purpose for this money. I will spend it. I may spend it in a place where students are hired to do menial and degrading jobs, so as to filter my extra income back into the university coffers-you won't lose it!

I have never asked. Many bastards who apply for promotion are the kind of untalented civil servants who have nothing to do for a year and then apply for promotion. I'm different. I'm one of those incompetent civil servants who have been doing nothing for seven years but want to be promoted. The logic of this argument is undeniable.

Everyone else gets some. If there is free money around and others get some, then it is natural that I want my share.

5. Others don't deserve it. Give me a list of them. Within two weeks, I can find, study or fabricate evidence to prove that they don't deserve a decent raise or be fired.

6. I will leave soon. I'm leaving soon, so it's a good time to give me money so that I can leave in a good mood instead of taking every portable device I can find late at night.

Thank you very much for your time. I expect a favorable response and a raise. Back when I started. Plus interest. Real bank interest, double-digit things.

Note: This application was unsuccessful.