I'm looking for a script for a performance that will be needed urgently for the company's New Year's Day performance. I hope netizens can help me.

Characters: Cleaner (fake manager), Wen Zhouzhou, Jia Diploma, manager

[Add horn sound and engine sound]

Jia: Today is the day of my interview. I have made full preparations before, but I didn’t expect that I encountered a traffic jam on the way. It’s all because of that nasty driver. You said he deliberately took a long distance and took me to visit Guangzhou. Why don’t you avoid it? There's a traffic jam here! ! You tell me how to be honest and honest! ! When I think of the driver's stupidity, I want to shoot him in the head! ! [I am a gangster, who am I afraid of/]

Wen hurriedly walked onto the stage, making an anxious look: Time flies, time flies, he studied hard in a cold window, and finally graduated; he is full of knowledge, has learned a lot, has great ambitions, and wants to develop his ambitions; how can As expected, on the way to apply for a job, I suddenly encountered a traffic jam and the time has passed. What should I do? I am so anxious and filled with emotions! I deliberately wrote a poem to show my heart: "Thirty years of fame and dust, eight thousand miles of clouds and moon, don't wait for a moment, the young man's head is gray, empty and sad...". [Insert Peking Opera gongs and drums in the middle]

Jia: Why do you make a poem? This is obviously Yue Fei's "Man Jiang Hong"! Why is piracy so rampant in China and banned repeatedly? Is it not just because of this feudal remnant, the public enemy of society, and the scum of the Chinese people!

Wen then made movements, holding a knife to kill, and silently recited: The ambitious eat Hun meat when hungry, laugh and drink Hun blood when thirsty. [Insert Peking Opera gongs and drums in the middle]

Jia turned around suddenly: What are you doing?

The movement of the text is frozen and hesitant: I, I... I left quietly, just as I came gently, I waved gently and said goodbye to the clouds in the western sky. (Back while walking, and finally jump away, making a fighting gesture)

Jia: Do you want to fight? You're such a monkey, if I hadn't rushed to apply for the job, I would have punched you down. I don’t have time to waste with you! (Turns around and walks away)

The article is written as a victory gesture: A man who subdues his enemies without fighting is a good person!

(The two of them walked around in a circle, and at the same time the cleaner came out to clear the table. The two of them walked to the door of the company and saw the advertisement)

Jia: Finally here, it’s here... ...

Article: There is no place to go after wearing iron shoes.

Jia and Wen looked at each other. Jia: It’s you again. Are you looking for a fight? (Roll up sleeves)

Article: When we meet on a narrow road, the brave one wins! (Make a fighting gesture)

At this time, the cleaner walked to the recruitment advertisement and looked at his watch: It is so late, it seems that no one has come to apply. Let's put the sign in hand.

The two rushed over, Jia: Wait a minute, wait a minute, I’m here to apply! Text: I am also here to apply for a job!

Cleaner: Oh, you are here to apply. But it is so late now, I am afraid it will be difficult to conduct interviews. I think you should come again next time.

Jia: Come again next time? Don’t come here next time! The manager was blaming me for being late. Alas, it was all the driver's fault. No, it’s so hard to find a job now, I have to bite the bullet this time! I'll give him a tough fight to show him my sincerity.

Article: In ancient times, Edison ground an iron pestle into a needle. Today, I also imitate the ancients and grind it with him.

At this time the cleaner had withdrawn the advertisement and came to the table.

Jia walked over: Sir, I'm really sorry. I'm late. It's my fault. But it was all because of the heavy traffic jam. I hope you will give me a chance for an interview.

Qing: That’s not what I meant, I meant...

Wen: Sir! (Raise the tone) Die before leaving the army, which makes the hero burst into tears. I also hope that your husband will understand our difficulties and give us a chance.

Qing: It’s not that I don’t give you a chance... Alas, it’s that I really can’t do this!

Text: Sir! (Heart-breaking) After ten years of hard work, once I achieve enlightenment, I hope that the roc will spread its wings and the wind will lift thousands of miles. But no matter what, horses with thousands of miles of horses are always there, but old man Bole is not always there! A man dies for his bosom friend, and a woman looks like a man who pleases her. There is no Bole today, and I have no face to see Jiangdong's father grow old. I can only die to thank the world! [Insert Peking Opera gongs and drums]

Qing: Calm down, calm down.

Jia: Sir, look, he is going to commit suicide! Stop him quickly!

Qing: But how to stop him?

Jia: Just give him a chance for an interview.

Qing; But, but I... alas!

Article: Life is what I want; righteousness is also what I want. You cannot have both, and you must sacrifice life for righteousness! [Insert Peking Opera in the middle]

Jia: Sir, if this continues, people will die!

Qing: Forget it, forget it, do you want an interview? Then come in. (Reluctantly)

Jia and Wen looked at each other, each made a victory gesture, and walked to the table

Jia walked to the Qing Dynasty, poured tea and water: Sir, please sit down, sir, You drink tea.

Text: Flattery, shameless villain. (rushes over immediately) Sir, how about you smoke a cigarette?

Qing: OK.

Article... The ancients said: Smoking is harmful to health. Mr. Yuan takes care of his body and stays away from cigarettes.

Qing: It doesn't matter, smoking one more cigarette will not kill you.

Article: Uh..., tell the truth, seek truth from facts, and be sincere in what I say, I don’t smoke. [Insert Peking Opera in the middle]

Qing: After talking for a long time, it turns out you don’t have cigarettes.

Jia snickered on the side: You deserve it if you have a swollen face and pretend to be fat.

< p>Please: By the way, I don’t know what you call me yet? Ah, this gentleman who cannot speak human language, ah, no, this gentleman who cannot speak modern people’s language, what is your surname?

Wen: Wen was born late, with the single name Zhou Zhou, and Wen Zhouzhou is the next one.

Qing: Wen is really just like his name. What should I call this gentleman?

Jia: My name is Diploma.

Qing: What a coincidence, my surname is Wen too.

Jia: No, no, no, my surname is not Wen.

Qing: What's your last name?

Jia: My name is Diploma.

Qing: I know your name is Diploma. Let me ask you what your last name is.

< p>Jia: My name is Diploma.

Qing: Hey, why are you so stubborn? I asked you your last name, why do you keep saying your first name?

Jia: Sir, don't be angry, I said, I said, my surname is Jia La.

Qing: Oh, my surname is Jia, I should have said it earlier. Jia, Jia diploma. Ah! Fake diploma !

Article: Alas! The world is declining, people's hearts are not as old as they used to be, and in broad daylight, there are applicants who show off their fake diplomas openly. Woohoo! How sad and shameful!

Jia Very nervous: Sir, don’t listen to his nonsense, I am Jia Wenping, oh, I am not a fake diploma. Alas, I am indeed Jia Wenping, but I am definitely not a fake diploma. Alas, why can’t I explain clearly all of a sudden?< /p>

Qing: Okay, okay, I know what you mean. Your name is Jia Diploma, but your diploma is real.

Jia: That’s right, that’s it. .

Text: The sun is setting, so we might as well launch it as soon as possible. What do you think?

Qing: Oh, let’s start quickly. Start early and finish early. ...Well, then you two should introduce yourselves first.

Jia: Sir, I’ll come first.

Wen: Sir, I’d like to come first.

Jia: Sir, you see that he speaks strangely and intermittently.

The text should be cadenced.

Sir, don’t listen to the villain’s slander! !

Qing: Okay, okay, don’t argue. It doesn’t matter who comes first. Just Jia Diploma, you come first.

Wen Hysteria: Scholars can be killed, but not humiliated. , I read it clearly when the whole world is drunk, and I am sober when everyone is drunk. I can only die to preserve my chastity. (doing actions)

Qing: Hey, look, he is seeking death again. Stop him quickly.

Jia: Mr. Manager, please be patient and leave this matter to me. (Steps forward and takes out a knife) Brother, you can’t die like this, why don’t I use this? Let me stab you with a knife.

Article: Do you want to harm me?

Jia: Exactly!

Article: Who ordered you?

Jia: No one instigated it.

Wen: Why did you harm me?

Jia: No reason! Suffer death! (Raise the knife and drop it)

< p>Qing: The sword saves the man! (Looking at the sword in Jia’s hand) If I’m not mistaken, the sword in the strong man’s hand must be the legendary...

Jia: Sir You are really insightful. (Kicks the text open) Yes, the knife in my hand is the legendary...

Qing: Jia: Swiss Army Knife!

Wen: Oh, I wonder what’s so great about this knife?

Jia: Each of these Swiss Army knives is made of thousand-year-old cold iron and is durable.

Qing: Not bad. , each one is hand-made by a famous craftsman, and it will seal the throat at the sight of blood.

Jia: It’s really a home trip,

Qing: Kill people and get goods,

Jia, Qing :A must-have tool.

Article: So good? I wonder where they sell it?

Jia: That’s a good question. We are currently holding a big discount event with free shipping. Door-to-door warranty and replacement.

There is also a big discount of buy two get one free, and if you buy a luxury package, you have a chance to win a three-day domestic tour.

Qing: Where are you going to travel?< /p>

Jia: Baiyun Mountain.

Wen: Why are you so familiar with it?

Jia: I am the Swiss Army Knife campus agent.

Qing Yu Jia shook hands: Nice to meet you. In fact, I am also very interested in collecting knives.

Jia: Oh, great. How about we find a place to have a cup of tea and communicate, and ignore Kong Yiji.

The two of them walked out

Text: Sir, stay back. How should the interview be conducted?

Qing: Well, let me tell you, there will be no results if you keep waiting, and the manager is nowhere to be seen, so I think you should go back first.

Jia: Huh? The manager is invisible, so who are you?

Article: Sir, what is the value of your position?

Qing (action): It’s time to reveal my mysterious identity, music (fashonshow)...: I am ---- Qing----Jie----Worker .

Wen: What!

Jia: Woohoo!

Qing: On the surface, I am a cleaner, but in fact, I am a cleaner.

Jia: For you, we have wasted so much time,

Article: An inch of time is worth an inch of gold, but an inch of gold cannot buy an inch of time! (Step by step)

p>

Qing: Be calm and don’t be impatient! Be calm and don't be impatient!

The manager entered, Qing: Manager, you are here, they want to interview!

Jing: You must be Jia Wenwen and Wen Zhouzhou who are here for the interview. I'm really sorry, I got stuck halfway. I'm sorry to have to wait so long.

If there are no questions, we will start the interview immediately.

Wen, Jia: OK,

(Interview)

Jia: Hahaha

Wen: Hee hee hee

Jia: You too

Wen: Dear brother also

Jia, Wen: Got hired! !

Qing: Hehe, congratulations.

Jia Wen: It’s you! (pressing closer and closer)

Qing: What are you doing?

Wen and Jia: (face changed from anger to joy) I will help you more in the future, let’s go drink tea together and study Switzerland saber.

Qing: Okay!

The three of them exited,

Qing Qing came back on stage and took out the billboard - I wish my brothers and sisters find a satisfying job and a bright future! ! ! !

"End" You can contact me for specific changes. After all, I attended it myself. There are some language moves you should pay attention to.

Very funny! At that time, the whole class immediately remembered our funny points. You should be more generous in your performance, and you can add more roles. Add a narration or summary. Say something inspiring. Hope it helps.