A collection of 100 interesting Chinese jokes

The entertainment function of jokes can reduce people’s psychological stress and promote physical health. Next, I have compiled a collection of some interesting Chinese jokes. Let’s take a look.

Funny Chinese Jokes 1-20

1. I called you just now, and the voice prompt said: Sorry, the user you called is going to the toilet, please try again later! Then I pulled it out again, and it said: Sorry, the user you called has fallen into the toilet. Are you okay?

2. What color are ants’ teeth? Hehe, I can’t guess. Let me tell you, Guo Meimei's "Not Afraid, Not Afraid" Ant Teeth Black, Ant Teeth Black, Ant Teeth Black. So the teeth of ants are black

3. "There was once a very simple riddle in front of me: The pig cried and asked me to name a song. I guessed and guessed and guessed. . Until someone told me the answer was: With tears on your face, a puppy climbed up on the dining table and crawled towards a roasted chicken. The owner roared: I will do whatever you dare to do to that roasted chicken. What about you? The puppy licked the chicken's butt! The owner fainted."

4. You met by chance, and I was so flustered that I didn't know what to do. I can't avoid your loving eyes. I understand your heart. I ran away desperately but you followed me closely. I cried: Whose dog is left unattended?

5. When a department store sales girl fell in love for the first time and kissed her boyfriend for the first time, she was confused and infatuated. Asked: Do you want anything else?

6. The mouse was very depressed without a girlfriend. Finally, a bat agreed to marry him, and the mouse was very happy. Others laughed at his lack of vision. Mouse: What do you know? She is a stewardess after all.

7. There was a man and a woman sitting on the bus. When the bus arrived, the man accidentally dropped his cigarette when he got off the bus. When the woman saw it, she said: Sir, you smoke? It fell off! The man was furious: You just castrated it!? Happy weekend!

8. Nine out of ten households in a community have installed security doors, but only one has not. Nine households in one day All were stolen together, but the thief wrote on the door of the house without a security door: Don’t worry about me, and I don’t worry about you! Good night!

9. "Marry to my village, my village is better Rich, communication basically relies on shouting, transportation basically relies on walking. Farming basically relies on cattle, lighting basically relies on oil, heating basically relies on shaking, getting rich basically relies on stealing, and there are basically no beautiful women!"

10. Women: Twenty Age? Football, twenty people compete! Thirty years old? Basketball, ten people compete! Forty years old? Table tennis, two people push it back and forth! Fifty years old? Golf, hit as far as you can

11. One day, Xiaodong and Xiaoming went to play and saw a hole in the pants of the person in front of them. Xiaodong said: That person worked so hard that his pants were torn; Xiao Ming said: That person must have farted so often that his pants were ripped open!

12. Your clothes are neat and environmentally friendly, your body is crystal clear and soft The skin is white and smooth, the heart is rich and colorful, the figure is well-proportioned, and the smell is fragrant. I like you - Zongzi

13. A family of three. The father calls a robber, the mother calls a chopper, and the son calls trouble. One day, the son suddenly disappeared, so the father took the mother with him. I came to the public security bureau and told the police that I was a robber and that I brought a kitchen knife to cause trouble.

14. A, as soon as I opened my eyes, I saw a person. This is C, my mother. Ah, it turns out to be you, stretching your neck, looking at your hands with a proud expression on your face, and grinning like a HH.

15. If you have a mobile phone, I will be your free listening card; if you have a landline, I will be your receiver; if you have a PHS, I will accompany you to roam, dear, Let me be your eyes!

16. The first line: Mahjong poker gold flowers, go home after losing; the second line: The ancient road is westerly and the horse is thin, and the heartbroken people are at the end of the world, horizontal comment: How miserable!

17. .?I searched and searched! I kept searching! What was I looking for? I was looking for dry food, water, and legendary love!!!? You are as kind as a cat, and you are as loyal as a dog. Son, you are as cute as a bird, you know the way like a horse, you are as brilliant as a butterfly, you are diligent as a bee, you are similar in everything, no wonder everyone calls you a beast! Hahaha

< p> 18. The moon is round, the cake is round, the sky is round, the earth is round, and people are reunited; wealth, officialdom, popularity, love, and chance.

19. There is a monkey in the zoo that is so ugly that everyone vomits when he sees it. One day I went and I vomited; one day you went and the monkey vomited.

20. Your mother is really good, but you are so ugly, and she raised you! Your mother is really bad, and you are so ugly, and she let you out to scare people!

Interesting Chinese Jokes 21-40

21. You flash by, making my blood boil and my heart surge. Looking at your back, I really want to keep you, but I tell myself, I can’t If I let you leave again, I will never...catch the thief!

22. Wear other people's shoes and find other people's ways! It not only prevents others from finding their shoes, but also leaves them with no way out. Let's go!

23. The flowers were drunk and cried while holding the leaves; the moon was tired and fell asleep with a piece of cloud; I missed you, drunk, tired of crying, and heartbroken.

24. In the days without you, I am too lazy to look at the mirror in yellow. Without you, three meals would be tasteless. Human nature is that a little separation is better than a newlywed, but I hope that we will be together every day.

25. Mom, although you object, I still can't forget him. He is the only one in my eyes. Silly boy, don't fall in love. We are mice, but he is a mouse!

26. The elephant saw a group of ants walking towards his home, so he asked the ants what are you doing? The ants said that Aunt Elephant was sick, and we were going to donate blood! < /p>

27. An ant was walking in the forest and was stepped on by a snail. As a result, he went to the hospital and was questioned by the police. The ant said, "Everything happened too fast and I haven't realized it yet."

28. I want to go for a breeze with you, but I’m afraid of rain. I want to go swimming with you, but I’m afraid of other people’s envious eyes. I want to watch a movie with you, but I’m afraid of the ticket checker saying: No. Bringing the dog

29. There is more and less in contemporary society: those who talk more work less, those who make more money stay home less, those who do more beauty treatments wear less clothes, those who have more ideas achieve less, and those who work more earn less. He who has many friends has few treats. May you be happy.

30. The little donkey said to the donkey’s mother: “Mom, someone just sent me harassing text messages. Can I reply?” The donkey’s mother said: “The pig only replies. If it’s a donkey, we won’t reply.” ?

31. If you focus on winning money, your eyes will be red, your three meals will be tasteless, your limbs will be weak, your five careers will be wasted, your relatives will be difficult to recognize, your orifices will produce smoke, you will borrow money from all directions, you will be stuck in the quagmire for a long time, and you will be in disaster< /p>

32. Please dial my mobile phone number: If you want to talk about work, please press 1, if you want to talk about love, please press 2, if you want to talk about life, please press 3, if you want to introduce someone to me, please press #, if you want to invite me to dinner, please just say, "Look for me" Please hang up if you want to borrow money!

33. You lean on me lightly, touch my tender skin with your slender hands, and suck my body fluids with your gentle mouth until you are satisfied and then leave! Alas, Damn mosquitoes

　34. Yesterday you went to the mountains to play, and you encountered a wild boar that wanted to eat you. At this critical moment, you shouted: Mom. The wild boar was startled: Baby, don't run around anymore. Look, you're all so thin.

35. The son sang loudly while taking a bath. Mom: What time is it, baby? Keep your voice down, I’m afraid I’ll attract the wolf.

Daughter: You praise him too much. He can only scare the wolf away! Have you ever heard the story of the big pig saying yes and the little pig saying no?

36. Why Your eyes are full of tears, why are you trembling slightly when you look at me? I know, and you also know, we have the same answer in our hearts: you not only miss me, but also? Don’t think nonsense, I am Say you are cold too!

37. One day, the elephant accidentally trampled to death the ant family. Fortunately, one of them survived. It vowed to take revenge. Finally, when the opportunity came, it buried itself in the soil and stretched out a foot and said, "When it comes, I will trip it to death." ?

38. Don’t stop: keep chasing your dreams; don’t give in: after surviving the night, the sun will rise; the road is hard, sweat is a beautiful gift, remember, you will definitely get happiness, because - --You are a pig

39. Your mobile phone has been able to buy rice dumplings since June. To order rice dumplings, dial 110 for delivery and 119. If you have any questions, please contact our center. Happy Dragon Boat Festival

40. Please put a notebook on the table, and then put your chin on the notebook. Okay, this is a holiday gift to you in advance --- Notebook pad! Or a Zhutou brand? I heard that you are moving? The address is No. 520, Xiangai Road, Love City. The landlord is your favorite TA, the rent is your love, and the lease term is for life. Congratulations!

Interesting Chinese Jokes 41-60

41. The soldier called the commander: Report: Commander, the enemy is too cunning, and we did not expect their hiding place. The chief replied: Idiot! Fire at places you didn't expect!

42. "A sparrow said: That day I stood on the wire with her and when our mouths came together, I felt dizzy and numb all over. Numb, yes, that’s how kissing feels, I got an electric shock!"

43. Last night, I asked a mosquito to find you, let it tell you that I miss you, and Ask it to kiss you for me, because I can't get close to you now! It will tell you how much I miss you! You ask me how deeply I love you? The big bag represents my heart.

44. I have been by your side and worried about you again and again. Did you eat enough today? Did you sleep well? Is it cold late at night? I know you don’t know how to take care of yourself. Whenever I walk away, you jump out of the pig pen.

45. You are handsome, you are handsome, you have a nest of cabbage on your head, a sack on your body, and a kelp around your waist. You think you are the invincible of the East, but you are actually the second generation of the declining gods!

46. When my colleague was arguing with someone, he got anxious and said, "Do you think I grew up eating?" I have always wondered what he grew up eating. Your phone has been infected by the latest popular virus. Now I will teach you how to remove it: first throw the phone into a pot and sterilize it at high temperature, then add salt and MSG. Wait until the phone screen appears? Disinfection successful?

47. Don’t ask me why I cry, my tears flow for you, and my heart breaks for you. I hate that man, why did he take you away from me... Dead thief

48. "One day a drunk man took a taxi home after drinking, and stopped an 110 car with his hand. Patrol car, and shouted: Even if you are one hundred and one kilometers, there is no need to write so big!!!"

49. Lovers are roads and friends are pigs. There is only one road in life, and there are countless things on the road. A pig, don’t forget the way when you are rich, don’t sell pigs when you are short of money, don’t get lost when you are happy, feed the pigs when you are resting

50. Four ways to teach you how to identify the quality of a man Great magic weapon: assess his circle of friends; assess his level of love; assess his level of tolerance; assess his work attitude.

51. The kid next door finally vowed to lose weight? At the graduation job fair, someone said to him: "Brother, give me a break, you are blocking my mobile phone signal."

?

52. Your voice came from the valley. I looked down and found you at the corner of the mountain. It was you! It was really you! You were with an old man. I ran over excitedly. Said: Uncle, borrow the donkey!

53. I liked Anita Mui, and she died. I liked Weng Meiling, and committed suicide. I liked Huang Jiaju, and fell to death. I liked Leslie Cheung, and I jumped off the building. If I like you, you can make up your own mind, right?

54. "As the leader of a gang, I am very cautious when sending text messages. Fame is given by everyone, status is earned by brothers, and I must be responsible to everyone! I have dozens of I remind you like a kid every day: It’s time to pay the protection fee. I heard that your mobile phone does not have a text message function, so I sent this text message as a test. If you receive it, it is confirmed that it has a text message function and it was sent by me. Please reply to me. "I have it, it's yours!"

55. A shooting star flashed across the night sky. I quickly made a wish, hoping that you would become more beautiful. Who would have thought that just after I made my wish, the shooting star? Whoosh? He came back from the ground and said to me: Brother! Are you sincerely making things difficult for me?

56. It’s the Chinese New Year, and I’ll give you a couplet! The first couplet: Eat when you should, drink when you should, don’t take it personally when something happens. put. Second line: Taking a bath, looking at the watch, feeling comfortable every second. Hengpi: Just be happy!

57. When a cat encounters a mouse, it asks for protection money. The mouse has no money to hand over, although it is beaten violently. He fled under the wardrobe and turned into a plastic bag, leaving only half of his body exposed. The cat said: "Grandma, she wears a leather jacket even if she has no money." ?

58. I like to crawl around on you, touch every inch of your skin, and lie in your arms. I can’t live without you for a moment. I love you--Sofa< /p>

59. The little pig asked the pig mother sadly: Mom, am I so stupid? The mother pig comforted the pig and said: Silly son, you are not stupid, the person reading this text message is stupider than you!

60. I will build your happiness; I will make concessions for your consolidation; I will make up for your confusion; I will satisfy your greed!

Interesting Chinese Language Jokes 61-80

61. New year, new scenery, new atmosphere, new clothes, new hats, new looks, new tea, new wine, new friends, new poems, new words, and a new chapter. I sincerely wish you all the best wishes from my heart! New Year Happy!

62. "The teacher asked Xiao Ming: Did you do that question? Xiao Ming: Which question? Teacher: 3 times 7. Xiao Ming replied: I don't care about 3721, I wrote it. 17"

63. The head can be cut off, but the hairstyle cannot be messed up! The blood can flow, and the leather shoes must be oiled!

64. "Ducks and crabs race and reach the finish line together. It's hard to decide the winner. The referee said: You guys have to play rock, paper, scissors. The duck was furious: You're going to be tough, but I'm going to play hard? When I'm playing paper, he's always going to be scissors."

65. "Eight points. Why don't you say hello to a cooked steak or a medium-rare steak when you meet them on the street? Because they are both """"undercooked""""~"

66. The most beautiful thing in the world is the process, the most rare thing I know that the most painful thing is waiting, the happiest thing is true love, the most fearful thing is misunderstanding, the most regretful thing is missing out, and the happiest thing is having you as a good friend.

67. "Occasionally when I meet you, your eyes sparkle at me. In this embarrassing situation, I dare not change my stance. I want to draw a clear line with you with my eyes. I don’t want you to open your mouth. Kiss my wish, my God! Whose big wolf dog is not chained?"

68. There are three brothers in a family, the eldest is called a gangster, the second is called a kitchen knife, and the third is called trouble. One day the third child was lost, and the boss took the second child to call the police. When they arrived at the police station, the boss said: I am a gangster who brought a kitchen knife to look for trouble.

69. Xiao Ming was wandering in a supermarket. He put his hand into the machine that can check the price. The result showed: pig's trotters, 10 yuan. Xiao Ming thought the machine was malfunctioning, so he stretched his head over. I almost died laughing when I saw it: pig head, 35 yuan.

70. "I am really desperate: Huaguo Mountain has been developed into a tourist area by the country. Master also got married to Bai Gujing a few days ago. I had no money to eat yesterday, so I also sold the Golden Cudgel." I really miss the days when we studied together! How are you, Second Junior Brother?"

71. A thief was caught by mistake. The judge interrogated him: Why did you break into the same shop three times in one night, each time only Get a piece of clothing? Prisoner: I stole a dress, but my wife was not satisfied and asked me to change it twice.

72. "Congratulations on being admitted to Frog University, Toad Department, Shameless Class, please bring your mental illness certificate, take the 250 bus to Fool Road, get off at the Stupid Street stop, when registering Please stand at the door and giggle!"

73. Dear mobile phone users: Since making calls on your mobile phone affects the satellite communication signal, please stop using your current mobile phone from now until the end of March next year. Otherwise, there will be consequences at your own risk.

74. "Every story is a fate, and if you miss it inadvertently, it becomes an accident. And what can stand the test is a true fate that lasts a lifetime. When you think about me, so do you." When I miss you the most, a silly boy finally plucked up the courage to talk to the girl he liked: What kind of boy do you like? The girl thought for a while and said: I think you are compatible. The boy was very sad after hearing this, and he held it in for a long time and said: The head must be round, can it be flatter?"

75. The wolf was sick, and the rabbit brought carrots to visit. Wolf: Come on, why are you bringing a gift? Rabbit: Come and see, others said you might not like this gift. Wolf: I like your gift very much, Mr. Carrot.

76. A girl is so ugly that she cannot marry and hopes to be trafficked. My dream finally came true, but I couldn’t sell it for half a month. The kidnapper sent her back, but she refused to get out of the car. The kidnapper gritted his teeth and stamped his feet: Let's go, I don't want the car.

77. They said to each other: What, you have become more assertive as an official, and you still have your little hands on your back? Concave to Convex said: Even though our apartments have different sizes, our areas are actually about the same! I say to you: Little boy, don’t contact me if you find a partner!

78. "I saw you that day , you are sitting under the bright sun, feeling so uncomfortable. I ask: What are you doing? You smile mysteriously: Shhh, keep your voice down, no one will call me an idiot when I get tanned. Tips for self-testing vital capacity: Finish After farting, lower your head and inhale sharply, and then observe whether the people around you smell the peculiar smell. If so, you need to strengthen the exercise according to this method; if not, it proves that you are a superman."

79. "Xiao Shenyang" Quotes: The world belongs to us, and also to our sons, but in the end it belongs to those grandchildren."

80. The world is boring, my life is boring, and I am sending a boring message at this boring moment. As my boring greeting, I really want to ask you, are you boring?

Interesting Chinese Jokes 81-100

81. Xiaoli boasts to everyone about how excellent her boyfriend is. Ada Zhenzhen said: Of course, it’s just one of a hundred. Then he said: There is only one bad one out of a hundred good ones, and you picked him!?

82. Distress call: ?Fire-fighting!? The fire brigade operator asked: ?Where is it at my house! ?I mean, how should we get to your house? Don’t you have a firetruck?

83. The steamed buns and noodles fought, and the steamed buns were laughed at, so they went home and asked Hanajuan Baozi to take revenge, but the instant noodles opened the door. , the steamed bun said: ?You have your head permed, and I recognize you too!?

84. I wish you the best in Level 10 English: buy lotus root for zero, buy low, love spicy food without oil, and love silk oil. Search for hemp to eat, Ai Wante spits the dead oil, loves the tiger oil, oh, resists the busyness and is forced, is healthy and busy, happy every day!

85. All mental patients are bathing in the rain, only None of them went, and the doctor asked happily: "Why don't you go?" He said: "You think I am sick, I will wait until the water is hot before going." ?As a lover, you should choose someone who is as gentle as water and as sweet as honey; as an opponent, you should choose someone who is smart, capable, and strong; as a colleague, you should choose someone who works hard and has no temper; as a friend, you should choose someone who is pig-headed and dog-brained and has a runny nose. Stop looking and wipe your nose quickly. .

86. A couple was riding a train. After the train passed through a very long and dark tunnel, the man said, If I had known the tunnel was so long, I should have kissed you.

The woman screamed: You were not the one who kissed me just now?

87. Teacher: Please use "sad" to make a sentence; Student: There is a ditch in front of my house. It is very sad. Teacher's comment: The teacher is more sad than you.

88. My love is empty and my love is empty, and I am wandering in the street; my life is empty and my money is empty, and I am single and working hard; my career is empty and my career is empty, and I go crazy thinking about it; my mobile phone is empty and I have no money to recharge, and life is not easy under pressure. ;

89. All the roosters chased the hen and crowed loudly. One rooster's eyes were red and silent, and the hen's heart beat. Newly married, hen: You are so cool, why didn’t you crow? Rooster: Did you drink too much that day? You were afraid of vomiting.

90. I once thought that if I didn’t know you, there wouldn’t be so much pain, but now I know that without this, what I would lose would be everything I have, because I love you

91. In the bar, a man was blowing in the sea: When I get rich, I will buy a plane and take a ride in the sky! A drunk man came over and interrupted: What are you doing? I am driving around the earth and the universe, and you didn’t buy a ticket. Everything goes down!

92. The landlord is looking at the house with the new tenant. Tenant: It seems that this house leaks frequently. Landlord: No, it only leaks when it rains. < /p>

94. Don’t stop, keep chasing your dreams; don’t give in, survive the night and the sun will rise; the road is hard, sweat is a beautiful blessing; remember, success lies in the next step; take big steps, yeah, Fell into the manure pit.

95. If eating more fish can replenish the brain and make people smarter, then I have to eat at least a pair of whales?

96. A college student was caught, and the enemy took him I tied him to a telephone pole and asked him: Where are you from? If I don’t tell you, I will electrocute you! The college student replied to the enemy and was electrocuted to death. He said: I am the father of TV University, and someone stole our car. Do you recognize that person's appearance? I didn't pay attention, but I remembered the car number!

97. If I give birth to a son in the future, his name will be "Beautiful", and others will know it when they see me. Said: "Beautiful mother!" I gave birth to a son named Xiaosa, and others said: "Xiaosa dad!"

98. When you wake up today, there is a mosquito lying on your pillow, and there is a will next to it: I struggled all night, and your shamelessness made me shameless to live in this world. Lord! Forgive him, I committed suicide

99. What I want to marry most is the Seven Fairies, what I want to buy most is RMB, what I want to climb most is the ladder to heaven, what I want to beat most is God! God today When he is born, give him a good beating while he is still young, or wait until he grows up

100. Dad: What is 1 plus 2? Son: I don’t know. Dad: For example, how many do you and I have in one ***? Idiot! The son immediately replied: 3 idiots!