Liu Yue, a colleague of Fei Du.

I come from a small village in northern Shaanxi, and my parents are honest farmers. My parents said that it was spring when I was born. In that year, the willow trees in front of my house grew lush and more enchanting than in previous years. After I was born, the whole village came to my house to see it. They all said that I took the baby from the New Year pictures. Cultivators face the loess with their backs to the sky for years, and their skin is always tanned. The girls in the village are also used to running wildly, with high plains in winter and small black faces in summer. But I was born with snow-white skin, and I couldn't get a tan, which made me more different from the girls in the village.

The childhood fun of the children in the village is going up and down the mountain, but my fun is reading and writing. I like the smell of ink in books, which is the distant call beyond the mountain. I believe that I will definitely walk out of this mountain and go to the big city I yearn for in the future. When I was 12 years old, my mother begged the gentleman in the village to give me a nice name: "Liuyue".

I am reminded of that sad poem: Last year, on the Lantern Festival, the world was full of lights. The moon rose above the willow tree, At dusk he had a tryst with me.

Just when I was 16 years old, the dog remnant from a neighboring village entrusted our village chief to come to my house to propose marriage. When he was young, his father was also a strongman in the village, having done donkey and horse business and running a brick factory. There are three brothers left in the dog's family, and the dog is the third. The two brothers are married. The village has a big yard, two rows of brick kilns, and one son with two holes. It is an enviable good family in the village. My parents were happy from ear to ear, but I had my own plan ...

It was a dark night, and I left the place where I was born and raised, leaving my parents.

I came to the western capital and was shocked by the scenery in front of me. This is not a city, this is heaven. Those women are wearing beautiful sexy suspender skirts. Oh, those breasts are almost jumping out. They are so shy. I quickly covered my eyes with my hands, but I couldn't help looking. Women's faces are painted with exquisite costumes, just like singers. I can't help but look at them more. The young man hugged the scantily clad woman around him and kissed her from time to time. The woman walked past me with a smile.

I was sleepy, tired and hungry. I looked at the roadside food stalls and thought that I had no money, so I had to lick my lips and leave.

I need to find a job to make a living first. I saw a small restaurant that said at the door: Recruiting waiters requires good image and temperament, and work neatly. I walked in without hesitation. Luckily, my boss left me to help clean up the chopsticks and wash the dishes.

Life in a small restaurant is still stable, except that the hotel owner told me some dirty jokes when he had something to do. At first, I avoided him, but later I got used to it. Once, a few drunken gangsters touched me, and it was the boss who helped me out. Otherwise, I don't know what to do. Later, the boss told me dirty jokes again, and I just smiled. The proprietress usually doesn't come to the hotel, but every time she comes, she will stare at me like a thief. I always feel that I won't stay here long.

One night, Brother Chef and Mother Chef left first, leaving me alone to clean the dishes and clean the kitchen. The boss suddenly appeared behind me drunk, hugged me, and his foul-smelling lips fell directly on my face, mouth and neck, pushing me against the wall. Breathing heavily, he said in a slightly trembling voice, "Liu Yue, Liu Yue, my darling, I miss you so much." Put a hand into my clothes. I was ashamed and resentful, pushed him away with all my strength and ran out crazily.

I'm unemployed again, and walking alone in the street, I feel abandoned by the world.

Those rich people live a luxurious life. They regard money as dirt and people like us as playthings. Why can they ride on my head and dominate? Two lines of clear tears fell on my palm. What should I do?

After staying at home for a few days, I don't think this is a long-term solution. I adjust my state and prepare to try my luck in the labor market.

It's my turn, too. Not long after, I saw a family calling a nanny, making a phone call and talking. The host told me the address and asked me to go home directly. I went to find the address and looked at the house number. It was No.37 Sifu Street. When I entered the gate, I was confronted with a wall, which was connected on both sides. On the one hand, it was "a bamboo pole with a storm" and on the other hand, "I only wrote Qingyun all the year round". After entering the hospital, the residents divided the hospital into a mess, with wire for clothes and a shed for clothes. Everything was staggered, with one face touching the shelf, a sewage bucket and a garbage basket. There was a man wearing triangular underpants, standing there with a glass of water, saying a word, taking a sip of water, and spitting back the tea leaves.

I quickly asked an old lady for the address of the main family. The old lady pointed to a family in the east and said, "That's it. It's weird. His child cries all day, and he doesn't know what to follow?" I thanked my aunt and went straight into the house.

This family just gave birth to a baby. The man is a businessman and earns a lot of money. The woman is an office worker. It's just me and my child during the day. Strangely enough, this child can cry especially, and it's been crying since the moment he saw me. I have cried away three nannies, and I have tried my best to get to know the children a little better, and I am no longer so exclusive. I finally served this bowl of rice.

When the host's family is away all day, I'm bored at home alone. I want to buy some books to kill time, but the unlucky child cries his eyes out. Once, when I was chatting with the nanny next door, she told me that as long as I secretly gave the child a little sleeping pills, the child could always fall asleep. I think that's outrageous, but you can't do that. But the child can cry too much. At the end of the day, I am so tired that my eyes are dim and my back hurts. When the host family comes back at night, I have to cook, wash dishes and clean the house. After a few days of tossing, my body is a little overwhelmed. A woman has a grudge against me, saying that I can't work hard. A man can say something for me, and a woman can enjoy the weather with him for several days.

Later, I tried to add a little sleeping pills to the baby's milk. At first, I was afraid, but gradually I got used to it. Just add a little less and let him sleep for two more hours. Now I have more free time. I bought a lot of books written by Zhuang Zhidie. I like reading his books. I even admire him a little. I can find my own shadow in his works. Maybe we met in the last life.

There lived a big brother named Zhao Jingwu across the hall. It is said that this quadrangle was the ancestor of their family. In about 5 years, the urban poor lived in it, and once they lived in it, they could not go out.

One day, Zhao Jingwu came to the house with a man. They kept whispering and didn't know what they were talking about. Anyway, they were looking at something in their hands. I'm reading Zhuang Zhidie's book across the street, and I'm fascinated. I have to finish reading this book before that little friend wakes up.

At this time, a businessman dressed as a nouveau riche came, and when he entered the courtyard, he shouted, "Jingwu, Jingwu". Zhao Jingwu opened the door and said to the nouveau riche, "Oh, Director Huang, Teacher Zhuang has been waiting for you for a long time." Then the three exchanged pleasantries for a long time, talking about literati, writing and teacher Zhuang, and one of them even wrote a poem. I think it's like writing to me: "The dish comes with wind, and people are bored when they go to the moon." Wait a minute, Mr. Zhuang. Dishes come with wind. Is it him? No, what a coincidence. I was going to read with my head down, but that poem lingered in my ears for a long time. Forget it, just go and have a look.

when I got closer, I heard them talking about whether the written words were valuable or not. I can't delay. Don't dawdle. The child wakes up and goes straight through the door and asks, "Which is the butterfly of the writer Zhuang?"

all three people looked up at me, and one of them gently said to me, "I am the butterfly of Zhuang."

I'm happy, excited and nervous. I actually saw my idol. I was a little at a loss, but I thought that when he left, I might never see him again, not even a thought. It happened that they were writing, and asked Mr. Zhuang to send me a picture, which I will take with me all my life. So he boldly said, "Teacher Zhuang, I am a fan of your books. My name is Liu Yue, and I am a little babysitter. Today is fate. If you don't dislike my identity, you should also send me a painting and calligraphy. " I didn't expect Mr. Zhuang to write two poems with a pen? "how wide the world was, how close the trees to heaven, and how clear in the water the nearness of the moon!."

As soon as I finished writing, Zhao Jingwu told me to help Teacher Zhuang find a nanny in our village. I thought: just those girls in our village? Which one can get on the table? If I can follow Mr. Zhuang, then I can be with my idol every day. How happy it is.

so I said, "then it's just me." I didn't expect Mr. Zhuang to be as happy as a child. He said, "I'm waiting for this sentence.

in the following days, I am suffering and looking forward to it, just waiting for me to leave with this family happily when the contract expires.

However, after all, it's hard to live under the fence. Women keep a straight face on me all day, preventing me from talking to men like thieves and being wronged. One day, when I had my period, I had a terrible stomachache, so I begged a man to help me wash the dishes. As soon as the man started washing, the woman scolded me, which was unbearable. Men are kind to me, help me everywhere, speak for me, and sometimes forgive me, feeling sorry for men for leaving like this.

One day, a woman thought I mopped the floor too slowly, and said that I deliberately dawdled. As soon as I got angry, I left the mop. I don't care who I love.

On this day, I went directly to the Federation of Literary and Art Circles and arrived at their door according to the address given by Teacher Zhuang. After all, the families of literate people are different, and the room is full of books. It happened that their home hosted guests that day, and the guests were very friendly. The hostess Niu Yueqing was a traditional beauty, gentle and dignified, and friendly. I'm glad I came to this family.

Happy families are the same, but unhappy families are different. I found that this seemingly harmonious and happy family has already been riddled with holes.

I like Mr. Zhuang. As long as I have time, I go to Mr. Zhuang's study to read books. In fact, I just want to stay with him, and he likes me around. This is probably called tacit understanding. One day, Mr. Zhuang actually put his hand into my clothes. We rural people were not used to wearing bras, but he caught me. He also laughed at me for not wearing a bra.

I'm shy and surprised. I like Mr. Zhuang, but I can't just give myself to him for nothing. The book says that if you get it too easily, you won't cherish it. Thinking of this, I broke away from him and ran out.

I have to wait for the right time, be firm and firm, and give myself to him when I have the right time, place and everything. I will be Mrs. Zhuang in the future. For the sake of long-term consideration, we should not rush into it.

but, after all, people are not as good as heaven.

On that day, I bumped into Teacher Zhuang and Tang Waner having sex in the study. I wanted to leave quickly, but I couldn't move. Just a few steps later, I fell on the sofa. Teacher Zhuang caught up with me and had sex with me. Is this hush money? This is a great irony to me. I lost to Tang Waner after all.

I have to re-plan my future.

The other day, Teacher Zhuang said that Zhao Jingwu liked me. I thought about it for a long time and thought it was a way out. Follow Zhao Jingwu, at least you won't be short of money. Zhao Jingwu is also a prominent figure in the western capital, and I am not bad in Liuyue. I want to have a good appearance, a figure and a temperament, so I plan to try to get along with Zhao Jingwu first. After getting along for a few days, I found that he really loved me. For me, he is naturally not as good as Mr. Zhuang's, but he can also help me solve the problem of hukou and life. The point is that he is really infatuated with me.

I don't want to go back to the village any more, and I don't want to go back to those days when I was helpless. Now I can wake up in my dreams. I will seize this life-saving straw.

wild lilies also have spring. Just as my relationship with Zhao Jingwu was heating up sharply, Teacher Zhuang and I mentioned the mayor's son Dazheng, saying that he had taken a fancy to countless women and finally took a fancy to me. Teacher Zhuang didn't go on, but I knew what he meant. The mayor's son, Dazheng, suffered from polio when he was a child, leaving a disability in his leg and walking unsteadily.

that night, I couldn't sleep. I compared Zhao Jingwu with Dazheng all night.

I've seen many couples in the world, but when they live, they fade, and when they walk, they break up. Teacher Zhuang and elder sister, if not Tang Waner, there will be others. Director Huang's wife has committed suicide in despair. Ruan Zhifei and his wife's marriage is just a sham. Let's not worry about those celebrities. Even Hongjiang abandoned his wife after he became rich. A small restaurant owner will also eat what is in the bowl and think about what is in the pot.

I don't know how far and when Zhao Jingwu and I can go. If she hates me, where will I go? And Dazheng is different. With the support of the mayor, I will be able to live the life of a master. At least I will have more resources to run my own business. I don't want to spend my whole life guarding a man like Niu Yueqing and others, and finally have nothing.

I see. The next day, I told Teacher Zhuang that I agreed to marry Dazheng.

On the wedding day, it's like a great event celebrated by the whole world, with lights and colorful decorations, drums and music playing together. Teacher Zhuang and my elder sister attended as my mother's family. Unfortunately, Teacher Zhuang left halfway. Of course I knew where he had gone, but my poor elder sister was sitting there on pins and needles and mixed feelings.

after the marriage, I was not happy at home, so I wanted to have sex outside. My mother-in-law couldn't help me, so I told Ruan Zhifei and went to work in his dance hall. I am a princess and a star there.

I really live to be regarded as a person in others' eyes, a talk after dinner, and an inspirational story of a country girl. But ........

Last January night, the flower market was full of lights.

the willow shoots on the moon, and people are about after dusk.

On January night this year, the moon and lights remained the same.

I didn't see anyone last year, and my tears wet my sleeves.