The pleasure of responsibility

Responsibility consciousness, responsibility ability, and spiritual pleasure and pleasure gained from responsibility form a positive feedback cycle, which constitutes the "trinity" of responsibility. On the other hand, a person who can't take responsibility and is used to "stealing security" is not only immoral, but also incompetent and a loser in life.

In the German education system, responsibility is a compulsory course from kindergarten to life. However, our education in China has never realized that this is a course. Our education has always been to instill knowledge and cultivate a little skill at most. It's a pity that China never took the responsibility test in his exams.

Because of the lack of responsibility education in our education system, I especially want to remind friends who run enterprises that when recruiting, the most important thing is whether the candidates have a sense of responsibility and responsibility. When recruiting, we pay too much attention to the skills and energy of candidates, but seldom pay attention to the personality of candidates. This is a taboo in itself, and the principle of employing people is to cultivate people's character and ability. And the standards we adopt now are often employment skills and character cultivation. Why is this taboo? It is because a person's personality is difficult to "train" in adulthood.

A responsible person, when he does not have a certain skill, will have a strong sense of compensation and drive himself to acquire this skill. On the other hand, a person with a weak sense of responsibility, even if he is highly skilled, can hardly take responsibility for his work. Therefore, hiring personality and developing skills are a principle that we should keep in mind when hiring employees, and a very important factor in personality investigation is the investigation of the responsibility of candidates.

However, responsibility cannot be understood only from the moral level. Responsibility can be subdivided into at least three levels: responsibility consciousness, responsibility ability and pleasure brought by responsibility.

The first level of responsibility: sense of responsibility. Responsibility consciousness is the basis of responsibility. Just like Gong Linna's son, when his grandfather emptied the bedpan for him, he immediately realized that his grandfather was depriving him of his responsibility, while children of the same age in our country did not have this sense of responsibility because of the lack of responsibility education.

In Chinese, the word "responsibility" is related to debt. The original intention of responsibility is debt collection. In China, people say that fathers should pay their debts and ask the promisors to pay their promises. The so-called lack of sense of responsibility is a kind of mentality of not paying debts and feeling at ease, as Mr. Qian Zhongshu said: The most important way for some people to manage their finances is not to pay debts.

In fact, in addition to money debt, there are a series of debt relationships and commitment relationships in life, which are the basis of life. With these commitment relationships, transactions and cooperation can be produced. For example, when a person gets paid, it means making a promise. Or if you borrow money, you must try to repay it. If you don't work hard, you are a person who can't pay your debts. If analyzed from this angle, all kinds of people in the world can actually be simply classified into two types: debtors and deadbeats.

An upright and respected person must have a strong sense of debt and repayment. On the contrary, a very bad person must have no sense of debt and repayment. For example, Gong Linna's son, if he realized from an early age that it was his responsibility to empty the bedpan and make friends with quarrelsome people, then when he grew up, cooking and maintaining furniture would also become his responsibility "subconsciously".

The second level of responsibility: responsibility ability. Why is responsibility a kind of ability? We must trace back to the source and start from the etymology of responsibility. The English word for responsibility is responsibility, and disassembly is responsibility. If translated literally, it is the ability to react. Responsibility is a kind of subconscious reaction ability developed through long-term study and tempering. For example, Gong Linna's son not only consciously reunites two people quarreling on the plane, but also knows how to hold their hands, smile and look at them expectantly, and use his kindness to resolve their grievances with each other. In this sudden scene, subconsciously making responsible behavior requires a person to have excellent reaction ability.

This ability to react is not innate, but acquired through continuous learning and observation. Therefore, in Starbucks employee training, employees are not only required to have the awareness of being kind to customers, but also to cultivate their specific reaction ability to be kind to customers with actions. In Starbucks employee training, trainers will list dozens of unruly behaviors of customers and train employees how to treat customers "subconsciously" when facing unexpected scenes. Let employees pass the training and have the ability to immediately resolve the tense and embarrassing situation.

Therefore, responsibility is a kind of reaction ability through continuous learning and cultivation. "The greater the ability, the greater the responsibility." This is a famous saying in the movie Spider-Man. In fact, there is a causal relationship between ability and responsibility: the greater the responsibility, the greater the ability. A person with a strong sense of responsibility will gradually develop excellent reaction ability. Just like in a family with many children, the most responsible person has the strongest reaction ability. A person who is always looking for help will eventually fall into the most depressed life; A person who always helps others is often the richest person in life. This is because he will develop an excellent sense of responsibility when he thinks and pays for others, which allows him to cope with life more calmly.

Therefore, the sense of responsibility or responsibility is the foundation. Without this foundation, there is no responsibility. Responsibility ability is the main body of responsibility, and a truly responsible person will become a person with strong ability. But this inference will lead to a question: if responsibility is always paying, it will always be external coercion, then what is the internal source of maintaining a person's lasting sense of responsibility? Some philosophers are also aware of this question: what is the reward of responsibility?

First of all, the reward of responsibility is to let the responsible person have the habit of taking responsibility. Some people say that virtue is the highest reward of virtue and the behavior of virtue, and the ultimate reward is to let a person firmly possess this virtue. The reward of responsibility is the improvement of responsibility ability. By acting responsibly, you can win the respect of people around you and make yourself a capable person. But responsibility also has intrinsic rewards, and philosophers have given a very insightful explanation: responsibility itself will bring pleasure. The sense of responsibility promotes the ability of responsibility, and then obtains the pleasure of responsibility.

There is still a huge gap between those who are willing to take responsibility, dare to stand out and have the ability to stand out, and those who are used to shrinking their heads and have no ability to stand out, that is, the former will get a kind of spiritual pleasure and pleasure after standing out, which the latter can't fully understand. This is a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction caused by taking responsibility. Moreover, this sense of accomplishment and satisfaction has an addictive magic, which will make people who are used to being responsible in life "addicted" over time. Just like running a marathon, people secrete dopamine during running. After a long time, they will become dependent on this dopamine and will continue to run marathons. This is a positive feedback process.

So when we carefully "split" the responsibility, we will find that there are three levels of responsibility: responsibility consciousness, responsibility ability and responsibility pleasure. Have a sense of responsibility first, then cultivate your own responsibility ability, and get a pleasure that irresponsible people can't experience and understand when performing their responsibilities. This kind of pleasure urges a person to further fulfill his responsibilities. This person's sense of responsibility and ability will enter a positive feedback mechanism, and responsibility has become an addiction for him.

On any occasion (even a temporary tour group), we can always find this kind of "responsible addict": taking other people's business as our own business, willing to take the lead, and willing to assume the responsibility of leadership. Such people are "natural leaders".

I know such a "born leader", who usually gives me the impression that he has long been used to playing the role of "big brother" or leader. He always makes me feel meticulous care and love, so that he won't say hello in a perfunctory way. He would always come and shake hands with me kindly, pat me on the shoulder and sincerely say, "When did my brother arrive?" This is a responsible person, even a small matter like greeting can be quite "extreme".

One day he suddenly received a short message from a famous domestic entrepreneur. The content of the short message made him feel very strange, but a closer look showed that the short message was not sent to him, but to a woman who was obviously not the sender's wife, because the content of the short message was ambiguous and even disgusting.

This kind of thing is difficult to deal with. Because at this time, he knows the privacy that others are most unwilling to expose, and this person usually gives him a very positive impression. He must handle it properly to maintain their relationship and save face for the other party. It is difficult to do this, but it must be done.

His first reaction was to postpone judgment. Because the other person will know that he has seen this message when he makes any response, so not responding before thinking clearly is the best response. He knows that in a few hours, this person will definitely find that the message was sent wrong and will send a second message to explain. He can use this time to come up with a proper solution.

Sure enough, a few hours later, the sender sent another short message, saying, "Sorry, my short message was sent by mistake." "This time he is more bad response, but can't have no response at all. Because at this time, a long silence has shown an attitude, which will more easily cause the sender's guess and misunderstanding.

After several hours, he finally found an appropriate way to solve the problem. About nine hours after receiving the second message, he finally replied to a message:

The other party will feel quite relieved when they see such sincere news. Even if the other party can guess that he saw the news, he just pretended not to see it in order to save the other party's face. But he has expressed his attitude with his own behavior and very serious "lies", making the other party feel that he is willing to take responsibility for the other party and is willing to keep secrets for the other party.

When he told me the story, I had a heartfelt admiration for him. The question arises: why did he come up with such a good and appropriate method? I think this has something to do with him being a particularly responsible and responsible person. Anyone who gets along with him will try his best to make the other person feel relaxed and safe. This long-term behavior of being responsible for each other will naturally create a very good coping ability. Therefore, responsibility is a kind of consciousness and an ability. Of course, I believe that when he sends this short message, he will also have a great sense of accomplishment and satisfaction, and enjoy the high-level pleasure and spiritual pleasure brought by responsibility.

Just like a person who doesn't like sports can't feel the pleasure of a person who loves sports. He believes that exercise is a kind of tiredness and a kind of tossing, which should be avoided. A person who evades responsibility cannot understand the strong spiritual pleasure of a person who is willing to take responsibility. A person who makes fake and shoddy products can't understand it at all, and he has no chance to experience the pleasure of making a product rigorously and responsibly. When I watched Lao Luo busy preparing a sumptuous dinner, I found that his face was full of sense of accomplishment and joy. Cooking has not become a burden for him, but a pleasure. Responsibility consciousness, responsibility ability and responsibility pleasure form a positive feedback cycle on him.

On the contrary, when a person's sense of responsibility is not strong enough, or his sense of debt evasion is too strong, he will regard all responsible behaviors as the burden of life, not the joy of life. Therefore, the third level of responsibility is the spiritual pleasure and pleasure brought by responsibility, which can also explain why some people are willing to take responsibility, because they will find a high-level life pleasure and enjoy a high-quality spiritual pleasure in the process of taking responsibility.

Wilde, a famous Irish writer, famously said, "When something is considered evil, it will always have charm. Even many people will flock to it. When something is considered vulgar and incompetent, no one will chase it again. " When irresponsibility is just immoral, irresponsible people often feel at ease and feel that this is his way of life without any defects. But when we carefully "decompose" responsibility, we will find that irresponsibility is not only immoral, but also vulgar and incompetent, which is the character of losers and has no charm. And an irresponsible person, his life will be very boring, and there is little real happiness, because he is escaping from life and is irresponsible for anything, so his happiness is low-level and will never go beyond the level of "stealing security".

Responsibility is not only related to moral quality, but also related to responsibility consciousness, responsibility ability and responsibility pleasure, forming the trinity of responsibility. Responsibility is a kind of advanced competitiveness and an important source of happiness.

(Source: WeChat WeChat official account Bofan Feichang Road)