Ask 5 people for funny sketches ~

Location: A male dormitory.

Character: Four students.

Boss: oops, oops, oops.

. Another day has passed.

Old three: sleeping in a row in class, playing Warcraft crazily,

Knife tower

I don't know if I'm tired. I owe money, smoke and rub hemp, and send text messages to liquor.

Two bottles are not drunk, skip class collectively, long live college life!

Second child: Good evening, dear audience friends! I am in a hurry. I am afraid that the famous flowers are taken, and I am afraid that I can't loosen the soil. If there is

One day I became a hooligan, please tell others that I am innocent. ...

Boss: People are really tired when they are alive. They want to sleep when they stand, and they have to queue up when they get on the bus. Eating is tasteless, and class is particularly tiring. Ahem! Send a text message back

There is a charge! Sorry, buddy, you're blocking my cell phone signal.

(

Hey, it's still a dormitory. It's comfortable.

Old Three: Big Brother, the greedy bug came out today. Shall we improve the food?

Second child: Crazy people with mental disorders are not terrible. What is terrible is a madman with normal mental health. They just ate an egg fried cake instead of an egg!

The waiter froze: no eggs, isn't it just ordinary fried cake?

Number three: Yes.

. Old.

. Boss, he bullied me.

Boss: Come on, stop it. Are you bored?

Second child: Hey, big brother, can you guarantee that fourth child will help us?

!

Boss: If doctors can guarantee to cure patients, there will be no dead people in the world!

Lao San: What should I do? Besides, Lao Si has helped us so many times, and it's all my fault for failing to live up to expectations. if ...

Boss: Old three worries too much. I didn't grow up drinking boiled water. Look at me!

Laosishang

Old four:

My biggest dream is to become a snail.

I have my own room since I was born!

But the ideal is rich.

Full, the reality is very skinny. Healthy and relaxed; Life is not easy!

!

When the party is in charge, enter the door.

Old four: shout, boss, second and third, you are all here!

Boss: Old Four is back.

Old four: Well, I just went to the college building and found something.

(Sit down and tidy up)

At this time, Old Four was reading a book, and the three men discussed who would go up and talk to Old Four.

Boss: ouch

-

Old four is so serious that he deserves to be a good example for our dormitory.

-

Good character, good study, sloppy work.

Tiger, right?

Second child: Yes, yes, yes! That is definitely a flag of our dormitory!

Old three: Yes, that's absolutely a lie.

Boss: right ... well, go ahead and do something, for example, you can't do it without your old four!

Second child: alas, isn't it a bit too much!

Boss: Go!

Old four:

Okay, okay,

Bring me a tall hat as soon as you come in,

Why did you come back so early today? How many employees do you, uh?

How many times have the executive meeting and enlarged meeting of the President of the General Assembly been held?

Boss: Just closed!

Old four: What are the new instructions?

Second child: I secretly received a text message late last night, saying that there would be a farewell party for seniors and sisters tonight.

Old four: Today (meditation)

Second brother: fourth brother, fourth brother ...

Old Four: Well, I'll be the big brother in such a short time. Now I am stupid. Why did I go early? Who was it before? I'm so skeptical.

I am bored.

Boss: Second child, why are you so spineless and shameful?

(Take away the third child)

Don't go too far, old four, we have something to discuss,

Don't affect the harmony of the dormitory, (rubbing their hands) three people together old four: you. . . What are you doing? Boss: Why are you humming? . . Right away (one in the hand of fourth brother), fourth brother, I knew I was wrong before my brother was sensible. In order to express my sincerity, I decided to sing a song for you. Second child: Brother, don't. . . . . . Third: danger. . . . . .

Boss: I am willing for you, I am willing for you, I am willing for you. . . . . . (Old two, old three spit) Old five: (Heart attack, stumbling around the tunnel boss) Big brother, for the sake of four years of feelings in the dormitory, give me a break. People sing for money, but you sing like hell. Can't I promise? Boss: (rushing back to the third and second) It's done. Take it?

Second child: I admire you, big brother. What you did was despicable. No, it's too powerful. You are an idol. Third child: the same. . Same. . Same. . Second child: Agree (to third child) Third child: Reason. . . Long live Xie. Boss: It's up to you this time. Our brother is very grateful. We can't forget your great kindness to us, and our admiration for you is endless. . . . . .

Old four: OK, OK, no more playing. Say, what can I do for you? Boss: (indignant) Alas, I just don't know what to give my seniors and sisters as souvenirs at the party. . You said, we, uh, have been fooling around in college life. . . Third: Yes. . Yes . Yes, it's almost time for seniors and seniors to get along. We don't know when we can wait. !

Second child: What's the use of saying this? ! Boss, second and third: God, what can we give to express our feelings? Old four, give us an idea! ! ! Boss: If you don't help us, well, we will miss this good commemorative opportunity! Old three: Yes, if you miss it, there will be no good memories!

Second child: I missed it. There is a saying that if you miss this village, there will be no village. (sad face) fourth brother. . . The second child found the fourth child snickering.

Second child: eldest brother, there is something wrong with fourth child. He's laughing at us.

Boss: Old Four, you can't stay out of it without this. Third: Yes, yes. . . A little unkind. This time, Old Four laughed even crazier.

Second child: Is he crazy? Can we still count on him? Third: Yes. . This is a bit difficult.

Boss: His smile is so weird. Why do I think there is a conspiracy? Second and third: mm-hmm. . . . There is a problem. Old four: I won't say anything else. . Three people together: Why?

Old four: Because I have already figured it out. . Three people: Wow! (Touched) It is said that Old Four is the best person! ! What is this? Send what? Old four: Let's send something meaningful. . (Mysterious) Three people: What? Old four: (strangely) Don't worry yet. . . Three people: What is it?

Old four: Send a blessing video. (Proud) Three people: All right. . All right. . . (Applause) Old Four: (Quickly pulls out an exquisite digital camera from the cupboard) Brothers, come on, let's get started. . . In the music, the four people entered a relaxed and pleasant video atmosphere.

Humorous Essay "Selling Storm" in University Dormitory

A- Liar Wang Xiaoer B-C's College Roommate C-B's College Roommate Time: One night Location: University Dormitory A: (A wears a pair of sunglasses and drags it on a bag of shoes secretly) Last time I sold a car, this time I sold shoes, and I did unprofitable business. Last time, I simply described the old broken car as 80% new giant, but I sold it at 850 anyway, and made a net profit of 800 after deducting the cost. [A knocks at the door B: Who is it? A: We have guests! [B] Open the door. A: Will it be unpleasant for classmates to have friends coming from afar? B: Who are you looking for? Relax, classmate. You look like loess, with both qi and blood deficiency. You must smoke a lot, don't you? B: Just socializing occasionally. Judging from your darkness, you must often surf the Internet all night. B: According to statistics, there are only five or six times a week. A: Then you must be lovelorn. That was a few years ago. A: The sequela of falling is not it? You must have dry stool and difficulty urinating now. A dog as blind as a bat, sir, can you help me? A: It doesn't matter. Just use our factory's ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ formalin (take out a box of ointment) for a course of treatment to ensure that you get rid of the disease. B: Is it expensive? A: Not expensive. Can I drink now? A: Of course. Oral or topical? A: Anything will do. [c impatient, stand up. C: I said, You're screwed.? A: (Look carefully at c) Classmate, I see that you are full of spring, with peach blossoms on your face, handsome and natural, and you are really an animal among people! (Laughter) Ha, beast! C: (suddenly awakened and glared at a) Hmm ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ C: That's more like it. A: But, alas, alas. C: (surprised) Oh, what a pity? A: It's a pity that you were bitten by a paederus. Your life will soon be over. C: (touching the wound) I can't help it. The school doctor said it would be fine to apply ointment! He was trying to comfort you. Paederus, also known as Begonia Seven Stars, is extremely toxic. After being bitten, the meridians will reverse, the whole body will fester and die within seven weeks.

Really? B: I heard that Sam next door was bitten and disappeared for several days. I also heard that a rotting body was recently found in Jiulong River. 1 1 B: That's what the newspaper said. Is it stupid to bang your body? A certain ding? Br>c: No way. It's rare that a handsome man from Zhang Deyi will die at the hands of paederus. (Right) This is doom, brother. After I left, my parents had a fight with my boss to take care of me. My girlfriend ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ B giggles) Just leave it to me. C: Just leave it to the second child to take care of me. Xiao Qiang at home (takes a cockroach out of his pocket), so please take more pains to pull B: (Disappointed) Go at ease and remember to contact more in the future. Captain: (sobbing) I will. A: Actually, it's not that serious. If you had hung up long ago, (take out a small bottle) but now you only need to take nitroglycerin produced by our factory for a course of treatment, so as to ensure that you can ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ [c] grab it from me and drink it all at once. Wait, does he have a license to sell drugs? Does this medicine have any side effects? [c Cough and vomiting] A: Actually, I'm here to sell shoes. As the saying goes, "Good shoes, good appetite, take a good look, Naining brand sports shoes." Isn't this an advertisement for toothpaste? C: Just a moment. I've only heard of Nike and Li Ning, but I've never heard of Naining. A: I am ignorant. Naining is the crystallization of love between Nike and Li Ning, and is a by-product of the merger of the two factories. Take its essence B, C: Oh ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ A: Get rid of its dross B, C: Oh ~ ~ ~ ~ A: Beautiful and practical. A: Of course not. If you wear Naining brand sports shoes, men will shed tears of envy and women will shed tears of love for you. B: It's beautiful, it's beautiful. All right, all right. (Right c) How about I buy a pair? C: (whispering) I don't think this man is very reliable! B: At that time, he saved our lives with drugs. Besides, these shoes are very nice. You should buy a pair, too C: I won't buy it if I want to buy it from you. B: I'm a little short of money recently! I bought a car and lost it. A: (monologue, pride) I stole it. B: I bought another one and lost it. A: (monologue) I stole that, too. C: You haven't returned the two packs of instant noodles you borrowed from me last time. B: Remember A: Hey, I think you are all students, so it's not easy. I will sell it to you at a low price. B and c: cheap price! A: A pair of 40, I only sell two pairs 100. Oh, I also send shoelaces (take out a shoelace). C: (taking shoelaces) Look at you. Can I trust you? A (angry) You can look down on my people, but you must never look down on my shoes. B: When I looked at your shoes, I knew you were a noble person, a pure person, and a person who broke away from low tastes. A: Of course, I am also a scholar. A scholar? I also have an English name. C: English name? A: My English name is, um, Wang ~ ~ ~ Xiao ~ ~ ~ Er B, C: Isn't this Chinese? A: If you still don't believe me, here is my business card with my complaint phone number on it (take out my business card and send it to B and C) [C Hesitate A: Oh, what's there to hesitate about? 100 yuan to buy two pairs of shoes for shoelaces. Do you think it's worth it? C: What? Value! That's what you said. B: Whatever you say. C: OK, I'll take it. A: Happy, cash first, delivery first. (B and C each take a pair of shoes) I'm leaving, don't send it far. [A, the lights are dim (voiceover: a few days later)] The lights are on. B: who was it last time? I was asked to buy shoes. I only wore it for two days, and there was a hole. C: You only have one hole. I only have this foot. It has five holes. B: What shall we do? C: Don't worry, I still have his complaint number here. B: How much is it? I want to complain to him! C: 123 15 B: huh? 123 15 b and c: depressed ~ ~ ~ ~ [a knocks on the stage with a badminton racket b: who is it? A: We have guests! B: (opens the door) So it's you. Why am I here again? Wang Xiaoer, there is a way to heaven, but you didn't take it. C: There is no way out of hell. Climb in and close the door! Let the dog go! A: Good dogs don't bite! I'm not Wang Xiaoer. B: Then who are you? I'm Wang Erxiao. Why do they look exactly the same? That's my brother. Well, then take the fall for you. A: Wrong. My brother has not studied well since he was a child. He stole chickens when he was a child and cows when he grew up. That's like me. (to the audience) He only stole tractors when he was a child. B: Then you have made it clear. What are you doing here today? A: I'm here to promote badminton rackets.

B: badminton racket? (To C) This is for you, brother. This is a brand badminton racket produced by our factory. It is made of pure metal. C: pure metal? Why is it so light? A: This is the latest space metal and titanium alloy found in our factory. C: I have to take a closer look. Ah, why is the tape still stuck? A: It's because titanium alloy is easy to get wet. This is a protective film. Oh, how much is this pair? A: A price, 250 C: I say this is outrageous! B: Brother, I heard that beautiful women in teachers' colleges love heroes, so a good marksmanship certainly matches a good one. A: There is an old saying called "Lu Bu, a wild boar". With the brand of wild boar badminton racket, it is just around the corner to dominate the badminton court of teachers college! C: 249, I don't want extra points. What's the difference between 250 and 249? More than 250 yuan B: If I say you are 250, won't you cut him a little more? Ok, it's a deal. [C gives money, while A is looking for change. His business card falls out and is picked up by C: Wang Xiaoer? So you are still Wang Xiaoer! Close the door! Let the dog go! A: Help!

"Application" -5 people funny sketch script (hilarious)

Personnel: 2 examiners and 3 candidates.

(A company is looking for a sales supervisor)

Applicant: Long Min: an agricultural farmer, too talented; a gifted student with no social background; Zhen Youquan: the son of a government official.

Too talented (holding this hand, stepping, thinking with head held high): Time flies, and I will compete in today's market.

Zhen Youquan (suit and tie, striding forward): According to my investigation, it is really difficult to find a good job in this increasingly competitive market. Comrades, I also applied to live here.

The first examiner said: You are all here to apply. What our company wants is talents in sales promotion, either with education or experience. You are all educated people. .

Suddenly, a tattered man came in from the outside recently. He ran too fast and almost fell down. )

The farmer who broke in recently scratched his head and simply said, big sister, I'm sorry I'm late.

(The assistant examiner is furious): Who is your sister? This girl is only the age of flower season! Huh? How can such a person suddenly appear! # ceba.com

(Long Min looks at the examiner in surprise and says): Elder sister? There are no flowers in my village, only a handful! (exaggerated, use the posture of holding to describe flowers)

(The assistant examiner clenched his fist to suppress his anger): All right. Now let's introduce ourselves, including your name, address, age, nationality, birthday, gender, marital status and education. . . . Report it.

(All three applicants were surprised) (The examiner said with a smile): Don't bother, just give your name and academic experience.

Zhen Youquan: That's more like it, otherwise I thought I was at the police station!

Thai Youcai: My name is Thai Youcai, and I graduated from Thai with a master's degree. After the edification of school culture, the tempering of society and the test of life, I came to your company to apply. I will sell my knowledge to the company, use my culture to sell it, and bring the world outlook, values and outlook on honor and disgrace to the overall interests of the company. . . .

Assistant Examiner: Stop, Vilti, next! (Too talented to hold your glasses and tilt your head back. )

Zhen Youquan: My name is Zhen Youquan, Zhen Dezhi Zhen. I graduated from that H university, because of social competition, well, yes, I came to this company, and then I unexpectedly wanted to hire this position. That's all. Thank you for your copyright policy.

(Intermediate examiners will add their own actions)

Long Min: My name is Long Min, and I am the dragon of dragons (laughter). I only have rich experience. Please listen to the next chapter for details.

Zhen Youquan: After all, Long Min has such a farmer's name.

Examiner: OK, OK, let's start asking questions.

Assistant examiner: If a beautiful girl appears in front of you, how can you sell yourself and make her accept you?

Long Min: Examiner, can you not? I already have a wife. I'm afraid my wife won't let me sleep in the bed.

(Angry) Associate Examiner: Hypothesis, do you understand the hypothesis? ! !

Long Min: Suppose, oh.

Too talented: hey, I feel sorry for those who have no knowledge.

Too talented: I will recite a very emotional sentence and make her submit to my literary talent.

Zhen Youquan: I called all the traffic policemen back and shouted at the place where the girl appeared: beautiful girl: Zhen Youquan, I really love you.

Long Min: Although I am still afraid, I must seize the opportunity. I will say: elder sister, I can cook, I can wash clothes, I can farm, I can take care of children, but I can't have children. Can you give birth to a fat baby for me?

Assistant examiner: That's brilliant. Do you think a poem can impress that girl? If so, many old ladies will fall in love with you every day, because you talk a lot every day. You can recite a poem now and see if you can make your aunt across the street accept you.

Assistant examiner: Zhen Youquan. You said you could ask all the traffic police to help you. Well, a person goes to the street to find a girl and says loudly that you love her, to see if she will call you crazy!

Deputy examiner: Long Min, hey, do you want other girls to give you a baby just because you look like a bear? Do you think others are your domestic pigs? You can have them if you want.

Deputy examiner: Since you are selling yourself, you should regard the other party as a fortress.

Long Min: Examiner, it is peacetime, so there is no fortress. If we want to fight the Japanese fortress now, the able-bodied men in our village have already picked up hoes. Is it my turn?

Assistant examiner: Hey, you, this is still a hypothesis, a hypothesis! ! Hey, I want to know, Long Min, why did you join our work?

Ceba.com: I am very experienced (patting my chest, holding my head high and making a proud gesture) # Long Min.

Associate examiner: Do you have any experience? Then why do you say that donkey's lips are not right for horse's mouth?

Long Min (indignant): No, I really have experience. You see, I have sold chickens at home, pigs in the village, cows in the village and blood in the city. Isn't this all experience? Oh, by the way, when I was selling cattle, a young man in his early 20 s told me, Uncle, how dare you sell cattle on the road? You are really the one between A Niu and Niu C, that's why I am. I'm still thinking, how can I buy a cow and become a cow ABC?

(The assistant examiner bows his head and is silent for a moment) Then he looks up and says, I think you can go home and sell blood.

Long Min: Examiner, what you said is wrong. I sold blood in the city, not at home. I don't have that kind of equipment at home.

Assistant examiner: Hey! (shaking his head)

Examiner: Now, how do you think this girl can accept you?

Long Min: I think so. . .

Assistant examiner: Stop and don't talk. Squat aside with me (Long Min pathetically walks to the podium).

Zhen Youquan: I think there is something wrong with this question.

Assistant examiner: Nonsense, no problem. Can you call me a question?

Brilliant: I think this question is worth discussing. If you allow me, I'll call my tutor to ask.

Examiner: You. . . .

Examiner: Why do you think this question is so difficult?

Long Min, Tai Youcai, Zhen Youquan,: This is not a good question {Long Min stands up from the table}

The assistant examiner said savagely, Long Min, who told you to stand up and go back to squat?

Long Min despondently squatted down and put his hands on his head.

Associate examiner: Why is this a bad question?

(Long Min stands up to the stage again) Long Min says, are you willing to betray yourself? Ceba。 com

Assistant examiner: Who told you to sell yourself?

Long Min said: Isn't betraying yourself equal to betraying yourself? Examiner: Are you willing to betray yourself?

(The examiner is angry and the other two candidates laugh. )

Examiner: Don't you think you look like a commodity now? Living in this highly competitive environment, there are too many people with educational background. More experienced, if you can't sell well yourself, do you think any company will accept you? The examiner just made an analogy. Actually, that girl is the job you are looking for. If you can't get that girl to accept you, it means you can't get the company you are looking for to accept you. In the end, you still have nothing. I hope you can understand. In fact, before you came to our company to apply, we had made a detailed investigation on you. We already know about you, and our company just needs talents like you. You are very talented and have a profound academic background, and you can make great contributions to the company in persuading customers. Zhen has the right, is calm when things go wrong, and is good at using personal relationships to achieve sales goals. Long Min, although you have a little knowledge, I believe most bosses still like to do business with honest people, at least they will be honest. So you three are hired temporarily, with a probation period of 2 months.

(Long Min, too talented, Zhen has the right to be surprised)

Brilliant: Sorry, examiner. I feel unfair and believe in my knowledge, so I hope the four examiners can give us another chance. We should persuade four examiners to hire us.

Examiner: Very good. What about Zhen's rights?

Zhen Youquan: I never know how to write "admit defeat". I agree. That's brilliant.

(Examiner smiles): Hmm (Four examiners and the first two candidates look at Long Min with suspicion).

(Long Min bows his hand in fear): When I went out, my daughter-in-law told me that I should learn more from the city after I came out. I'm telling you, I listened to my daughter-in-law and followed in the footsteps of the first two college students in the city.

(Laughter).

Examiner: Then we will visit three more people at the same time tomorrow. (Applause)

[End]

Narrator: Legend has it that Tang Priest and his disciples went to the Western Heaven to learn Buddhist scriptures. On this day, four disciples crossed Heifengling and came to a village, where smoke curled up like a family, and the four of them were tired of running around and rested here.

Tang Priest: There is a poem in the Bible: "There's no way to recover from the doubt. There is also a village with a bright future. " Unconsciously, I came to this charming land of geomantic omen. There are small bridges and flowing water here, and the ancient roads are thin. Empty, I'm hungry, teacher. Go and find some vegetarian food.

Wukong: Master, aren't you losing weight? Those fat burning years cost us a lot of money!

Tang Priest: Stupid monkey, how can you lose weight if you are not full?

Wukong: OK, Master, I'll be right back. Bajie, Brother Sha, take care of our teacher Tang!

Tang Priest: Bajie, what bird language did that monkey say! ?

Bajie: Master, the monkey saw that I had passed Band 4, and my heart was unbalanced, so he worked day and night, trying to surpass me.

Tang Priest: Oh, it's English, eh! Bajie, is there wonder woman coming over there?

Bajie: Master, it's really beautiful.

Tang Priest: Pig, pig, pig, you are rude again. Pay attention to your pig image. Although she is not ugly, her beauty is not obvious.

Bai Jing: I don't want anyone but you! I don't want anyone but you!

Friar Sand: Stop, hello girl. How old are you? What's your name? Where are you from? Where are you going? How many people are there in the family? Do you know there are many monsters along the way? But, hey, hey, I will protect you.

Bai Jing: The young monk is very polite. The young lady's surname is Bai Jingjing.

Wukong: Who is the monster who dares to harass my master? Ah,,,, so it's Jingjing.

Bai Jing: Kong Kong, is that you?

Wukong: Jingjing, is it really you?

Tang Priest: Oh, quack, that's so touching. I haven't seen such a touching scene since I read the story of Jack and Ross.

Friar Sand: Master Tong, don't make people laugh. That's the Titanic.

Tang Priest: Oh, I forgot to go out and give the teacher medicine. My memory is much worse!

Bajie: Big Brother, what's the situation?

Wukong: (expecting) I was a freshman that year. I am a study committee member and Jingjing is a literary committee member. I don't want to be different, but I have outstanding taste. In the end, Jingjing chose me and I turned her down.

Bai Jing: Yes, how many times can I love you in my life? I can choose to give up, but I can't give up my choice. Empty, if time goes back, can we start all over again?

Wukong; No, yes, yes! There is no rehearsal in life, every moment is live, such as now,,,

Bai Jing: If I am fifty cents, I hope you are fifty cents, so that we can be together!

Friar Sand: Alas! The saddest thing in life is that you have passed her countless times, and your clothes have been scraped without a spark. In the end, you have no choice but to go your separate ways.

Bajie: Why aren't you together?

Bai Jing: He said he would take the postgraduate entrance examination. I don't want to miss her future.

Bajie: Oh, ah, no, monkey, you are not human, so Miss Bai, she,,, (shows fear).

Tang priest: beast, no, monster, hit her quickly.

Bai Jing: Relax. I am not a good person. I'm not here to eat your master. I just want to tell you that there is another person in this world who will miss you forever. Since you are bent on seeking Buddha's progress, I can't stop you.

Tang Priest: I remember that day, God arranged for you to meet (singing, this is a song "That Day"). Many people love someone by mistake because of loneliness, but more people are lonely all their lives because of loving someone by mistake.

Wukong: Jingjing, you didn't refuse me that night. I hurt you that night. You said you liked me, but actually, actually, at first, well, I told you that I actually liked myself.

Bai Jing: You know that heaven is unfair. You can choose to love me or not, but I can only choose to love you or love you more. Think long and hate long, until it's time to pay back. It's been 500 years. Do you really miss me at all?

Bajie: Now my brother is escorting my master to fetch scriptures. Please don't embarrass him.

Friar Sand: Times have changed. Big brother is not the same person. Your old ticket won't get on his broken boat.

Tang Priest: Wukong, format yourself and delete her!

Wukong: Now, do you choose to go by yourself, or do you choose me to beat you away?

Bai Jing: Alas! Without loneliness, who will accompany me? Why did you give me two choices, but it ended the same way? Why are sentimental people always hurt mercilessly!

Qi: Actually, this is love, which is unfair. (Jane Zhang sings)

Tang Priest: Constantly missing, easily lost, unconsciously strange.

Bajie: If the relationship is long-lasting, it can't be here sooner or later! Miss Bai, neither of us is happy-at the end of the day, we are still degenerate. Why don't you come with me and I'll give you happiness! (Go up and wipe the oil)

Bai Jing: Let go, can you believe I slapped you on the wall and couldn't pull it out! I have seen ugly people, but I have never seen you so ugly. At first glance, it looks ugly. Look carefully, it's really ugly. Your looks have exceeded the limits of pigs. I despise you!

Bajie: So many people despise me. Who are you? My heart shines on the moon, and the moon shines on the sewer. Then why did you smile at me just now?

Bai Jing: I'm not the Mona Lisa, and I won't smile at everyone. What's more, smiling at you is purely polite.

Tang Priest: Let go, don't be infatuated with Jingjing, Jingjing will only make you sad. She is not L 'Oré al Paris, and neither do you. Even if you stand in the sun, your shadow is black.

Friar Sand: Second brother, there is a kind of love called letting go. Wait patiently. As long as you meet a pineapple, salt can also give off a sweet taste.

Wukong: Don't be sad, Bajie. Even if it is a piece of shit, you will meet dung beetles one day. You don't have to worry about yourself today!

Bai Jing: Asking what the world is like only teaches people to commit themselves to life and death. I'm leaving.,,,,

Wukong: Jingjing doesn't have to cry. Tears are a gift you mailed me, but the address is not very happy. It's okay. I went back to the doctor to prescribe some medicine for regret and drank it with forgetfulness water.

Tang Priest: Su Shi told me that technically, there are plenty of fish in the sea. Disciples, when you choose the cassock, you are doomed to give up the wedding dress. Love is unexpected, you can expect it, but you can't make it. The more lonely you are, the more you should be wary of love! Life is precious, but love is more expensive. If you want to learn from it, you can throw it away! You have learned a lot, Amitabha.

Qi: Amitabha!