Five-person sketch ~ ~ ~ urgent ` ~ ~

Characters: student Niu Niu, Frye, Wang Cai, teacher A.

Wang Cai: People call me Wang Cai, but I call myself a piece of shit. You see, I didn't study hard since I was a child, and I didn't go to college. Now that I am unemployed, it is really difficult to find a job. Go to work, afraid of hardship. Go to work, I'm tired. It is best to be your own boss and start your own company. I found that the best money to earn now is student money. Look! The "burden-reducing company" tries its best to serve students and reduce their burden. The slogan of our company is: all for students, all for students. Hotline: Reduce the burden (959595).

(Little Niu Niu, Shang)

Xiao Niu Niu: I heard that there is a company next to the school that reduces the burden on students and does their homework. Isn't it harmful to start this company?

Frye: Yes! We have a light study burden now. What else should we reduce? Let's talk to the teacher and ask him to think of a way for us.

Xiao Niu Niu: OK, let's go now.

They come to the teacher's office to talk to the teacher. )

Xiao Niu Niu: Let's go now, like this, like this!

Frye: Go ahead!

Niuniu: Wait a minute, I'll make a phone call first.

(takes out the phone and makes a phone call)

Wang Cai: (The bell rings and rejoices) Look, it's great to start a company. Business is coming! (Answering the phone) Hello, this is the burden reduction company. Our company is committed to serving students and friends. (insert: bah! Please press 1 for business introduction and 2 for manual service. (Insert: Select artificial service) Hello, 120 is at your service.

Xiao Niu Niu: Hello, I am a student of our school. I heard that your company specializes in reducing students' burden. Our classmates are not clear. Let me ask you what service you have.

Wang Cai: Good! Let me introduce you!

Xiao Niu Niu: I'm afraid I can't hear you clearly on the phone. I will go to your company.

Wang Cai: Welcome, welcome to inspect! (Busy tidying up)

(They push the door and come in)

Wang Cai: Hello, welcome!

Frye: We are students at school. We want to ask.

Wang Cai: Please sit down, please sit down. The secretary poured a glass of water. (For a moment) Why hasn't it come yet? Oh! The secretary was not invited. The service of our company is of great concern to you.

Frye: (puzzled) 240 hearts, never heard of it?

Wang Cai: Put 120 hearts. Have you ever heard of it?

Xiao Niu Niu: I've heard of it.

Wang Cai: How about two people?

Frye: Two people have 240 hearts.

Xiao Niu Niu: Fortunately, it's not 250. What made you think of starting this company?

Wang Cai: You know what? I am an experienced person in this field, quite experienced.

Frye: You've done this before?

Wang Cai: No, no, I have enjoyed this service since primary school. Every time I ask a classmate a question, I want it. ...

Niuniu: How much is it?

Wang Cai: At that time, it was free, half an eraser. Every time I ask my classmates to do their homework, I drop half a popsicle.

Xiao Niu Niu: Half a popsicle?

Wang Cai: I eat half and others eat half. The biggest price is to ask someone to pretend to be my brother to go to school. Once, the teacher asked my family to go, and I invited my big brother next door. Guess what? He insisted that I buy him a watermelon.

Frye: What was the result?

Wang Cai: I went to the field and stole a watermelon. He eats watermelon and I throw it out. My ass gave my dad flowers.

Xiao Niu Niu: How is your service anyway?

Wang Cai: The company is creating a brand and will announce 3? 15 recommended brands. The quality must be first-class, and it is absolutely confidential for you.

Xiao Niu Niu: Great!

Wang Cai: It's just opened now, and students are given a 20% discount.

Frye: Our future is long-term.

Wang Cai: In the long run, you can become our member. This member can not only get a discount, but also get points for every purchase. We will also hold various activities for our members.

Xiao Niu Niu: Good service is not enough. We need to know how good you are. Which university did you graduate from?

Wang Cai: University? Um ... squatting at home.

Frye: Wow, that chinemys reevesii!

Wang Cai: How can you swear, junior?

Frye: I didn't scold you!

Wang Cai; How can you say I am chinemys reevesii?

Frye: Turtles are returned students, referred to as turtles for short. You are really a sesame seed cake on the street.

Wang Cai: How about this?

Little Niu Niu: The dregs of the earth are falling off. Which country are you squatting in?

Wang Cai: It's in China.

Xiao Niu Niu: Domestic? I haven't even heard of it.

Wang Cai: This ... this ... To be honest, I didn't go to college.

Frye: Which one is squatting? ...

Wang Cai: I just stayed at home and taught myself.

The two chorus: Can you solve the problem of primary school without going to college?

Wang Cai: Solving difficult problems is the main business. Elementary school questions are too easy. For me, it's just a cat catching a mouse-forget it.

Xiao Niu Niu: Then let me ask you some questions.

Wang Cai: Piece of cake.

Xiao Niu Niu: 10 How much is half plus half minus half?

Wang Cai: Isn't it still ten o'clock?

Frye: (laughs) Wrong! 10 plus half is 15, subtract half to leave 7.5!

Wang Cai: Oh, dear! It was careless of you to ask another question.

Xiao Niu Niu: You should listen carefully this time. A man is crossing the river and walking on a wooden bridge. Suddenly, a big tiger walked across the bridge and only heard a plop. Think about it. Why?

Wang Cai: This is a brain teaser. I know that the man fainted with a bang and fell on the bridge with a bang.

Frye: (laughs) Haha, you are wrong again. This is a single-plank bridge. The man plopped into the river.

Wang Cai: Ouch! Why didn't I think of that?

Xiao Niu Niu: No, no, it seems that you can't solve the problem.

Wang Cai: Don't worry, I will try another question, and I will definitely answer it this time.

Xiao Niu Niu: OK, let me ask one more question. Let me guess a riddle for you. Sheep are not afraid of wolves. Guess a song

Wang Cai: (thinking hard) This, this is …

Frye: (Laughter) Wolves like sheep.

Wang Cai: Let me guess another one.

Xiao Niu Niu: Don't be angry if I have another one?

Wang Cai: Why are you angry? Come on!

Niuniu: The pigs are all dead. Guess the title of the song.

Wang Cai: Let me think. By the way, it's the song of the pig.

Frye: Wrong again. At least you are.

Wang Cai: You, how did you? ...

Xiao Niu Niu: Uncle, you just said you wouldn't be angry.

Wang Cai: OK, OK, don't be angry. If you can't solve the problem, just do your homework instead!

Frye: That's even worse. The model school of language and writing in our school is very strict with writing. Everyone's handwriting is different. If your own teacher knows at a glance, who dares to let you change your homework?

Wang Cai: Yes, you are right. This won't do either. What should I do? I solemnly introduce the last business, instead of parents to go to school to accept teachers' home visits.

Xiao Niu Niu: So is this one. ...

Wang Cai: Don't worry, don't worry, I'm telling you, I have a lot of experience. When I was studying, I often went to see the teacher with my father. When parents meet the teacher, they are usually hot-faced, sweating and flustered, and they have to find a stick at once when they go home. Let me show you. ...

Frye: Uncle, listen to me. ...

Wang Cai: Don't say it now. Do you think I look like I'm finished? I will talk about it at approriate time ...

Niuniu: Uncle. ...

Wang Cai: Stop it. You are teachers and I am the parents of the students. By the way, I'll spray some water first, or I won't see the sweat (spray water on my face) then.

Frye: No, uncle, just like the teacher told my father to go to school, I dare not, so please help me once!

Wang Cai: Great. I will show you what I can do. If not, don't come here in the future.

(Two people come to the classroom office)

Frye: Teacher, my father is here.

Teacher a: oh! This is your father. OK, please sit down!

Wang Cai: The teacher smokes!

Teacher A: Thank you. I don't smoke.

Wang Cai: By the way, the teacher doesn't smoke now. If they want to smoke, they will smoke diet cigarettes. Teachers and children have given you trouble at school. He doesn't study well and doesn't behave well. This is our responsibility as parents. Starting your own company is a bit poor. I don't care about children. I know there are 10 thousand reasons why I can't shirk my responsibility. Teachers, parents and students are auspicious three treasures. When I go back, I will have a good education, strive for beautiful myths, make teachers make you happy and make parents laugh. ...

Teacher A: You are so humorous. Where is your lover?

Wang Cai: Lover? Teacher, I'm not married. How can I have a lover?

Teacher A: If you don't have a lover, what about Frye?

Wang Cai: Oh, oh, I can't say good things when I'm nervous. I just got married.

Teacher A: Are newly married children so old?

Wang Cai: Wrong again. I just got divorced.

Teacher A: Wang Cai!

Wang Cai: Hmm!

Teacher A: How do you know Frye?

Wang Cai: He just came to my company and invited me. ...

Trinity: all worn out!

Wang Cai: Teacher, how do you know my name is Wang Cai?

Teacher A: I recognized you as soon as you came in. Do you remember when you stole watermelons and your father dragged you to school?

Wang Cai: I can forget. I regret it now. I didn't study hard. I still try my best to hide from my parents, steal watermelons for others to eat and invite others to pretend to be my brother to come to school. What a pity!

Teacher A: You regret it now. Do you want your children to regret it as much as you do?

(Wang Cai is silent)

Frye: We don't have a heavy study burden now. We don't need to lighten it any more. Since the school launched the "double walk-in" activity, teachers in our school have actively walked into students' families and hearts.

Xiao Niu Niu: Now the teacher is very good, and we are all looking forward to the teacher's visit to our home.

Wang Cai: Think about what you are doing. You are possessed. ,

Teacher A: (The song "Fly Higher" rings) Life is like a river. Sometimes it's calm, sometimes the waves roll, and brave sailors ride the wind and waves. The teacher knows that you got off the job and met some setbacks, but you have a smart mind, a healthy body and hardworking hands. What are you afraid of? Eight honors and eight shames say that hard work is glorious and leisure is shameful. You should try to create wealth with your own hands. You will only harm our students by starting such a company. Miss Min Wei, do you remember?

Wang Cai: Yes, yes, he is my teacher. He is very kind to me.

Teacher A: He always cares about you, too. Let's bring you two words.

Frye "Don't go astray to reduce the burden"

Xiao Niu Niu: If you want to make money, you must take the right path.

Wang Cai: Then I should add that hard work makes you rich.

Trinity: Yes, it is the most glorious to get rich through hard work!