Jokes suitable for performance

Joke 1.

At a company recruitment site, the examiner asked the interviewer a question: What is one plus one?

The first interviewer answered: equal to 2.

Not hired, reason: single-minded and rigid.

The second interviewer answered: equal to 3.

Not accepted, reason: congenital dementia, intellectual disability.

The third interviewer answered: equal to 1.

Not accepted, reason: crazy, mental disorder.

The fourth interviewer answered: It’s not equal to 1 anyway.

Not accepted, reason: ambiguous and too narrow-minded.

The fifth interviewer answered: Equal to king.

Not accepted, reason: Unconventional and difficult to manage.

The sixth interviewer answered: If the calculation is correct, it is equal to 2, and if the calculation is incorrect, it is equal to 3.

Not accepted, reason: Idiot, fall with the wind.

The seventh interviewer answered: Whatever the leader said is equal to the number.

Not accepted, reason: following the crowd and flattering others.

The eighth interviewer hesitated for a long time and did not answer.

Not accepted, reason: hesitant and indecisive.

Joke 2.

I saw a short story that was very short and shocking: a couple in love fell into the hands of a perverted murderer and both faced tragic death. But there is a chance - rock paper scissors between two people, the winner will be released. The two decided to cast stones and die together.

In the end, the girl died. Because the boy produced scissors and the girl produced cloth.

Joke 3.

High math is an entertainment activity for civilized people. You common people, just hang yourself! ——Isaac Newton; If you are serious, you will lose - Washington; No need to study, you just need to savor - Shakespeare; Basically, if you are pretentious, it will eventually become what I said - Plato; That night, I listened to Sanskrit singing all night, not for enlightenment, but just to find a trace of your breath - Sun Wukong.

Joke 4.

There was an ugly girl who always liked to buy a seat behind the basket when watching football games. Her friend once asked: "Isn't the view behind the basket bad? Why do you always buy this position?" The ugly girl replied: "That way I can see the man rushing towards me."

Joke 5.

The stewardess advised passengers to wear seat belts: "The last time the plane made an emergency landing, the passengers who were not wearing seat belts were all bruised and bloody."

The passenger asked: "What about the ones wearing seat belts?"

The stewardess replied: "It's okay, they are all sitting fine, just like when they were alive."