Are you, like me, 30 years old and still on the way to catch the exam? ...

If this article was written yesterday, I'm afraid tears will drown my mobile phone. ...

Yes, I failed again!

30 years old, still taking exams, still writing. I am really a cheeky person.

? This story is a bit long and sad.

? I want to say: once you choose to regress, even if you try harder later, you may not catch up with others.

July 20 13, graduated from university, did not look for a job in the provincial capital, and went back to the city directly. The poverty at home makes me have no desire to take the postgraduate entrance examination. My younger brother and sister are still studying, and the younger sister who failed in the college entrance examination wants to repeat it. My younger brother, who just entered junior high school, is in a rebellious period. After falling in love and racing for several months, my old mother stayed in the corner and sighed, and tears rolled down her withered face ... The collapse of the pillar plunged our whole family into a lifeless world. In this case, I graduated and started my life in a fourth-tier city without flying away. Because at that time, I firmly believed that I could do something for the change of this family. This city is said to be a fourth-tier city, but it is much better than home. That's what I was thinking. However, a few years later, the gap between my roommate and me is very different.

After graduation, at first, I hesitated on the way to find a job. Because I always have no confidence in myself and feel that others are better than myself! Under the introduction of an acquaintance, I went to a property management company to help fill out a meal card and print something. The salary is not high, I barely eat, and I have two days off a month. When I first joined the company, my heart was surging, so I just rolled up my sleeves and worked hard. However, four months later, I realized that this was not a long-term solution. An ordinary waiter can glibly plant and frame people in front of the boss, and he can't solve any misunderstandings face to face. Everyone should form a small group to deal with those who don't obey themselves! I finally found that this is a society, and I was defeated in front of it! So, after I arrived in the first month, I immediately went through the resignation procedures! Yes, I'm in naked resignation! I didn't learn much from my first job, but I witnessed the difficulty of women in shopping malls and the people who lost themselves by pushing cups! Too many people are bound by the shackles of interests, and men and women show flattering smiles when they see them.

After naked resignation, on the first day of the first lunar month, I had nowhere to go. Stay with relatives today, friends and classmates tomorrow, and the cheapest hotel the day after tomorrow. The girl who used to talk like a city dweller in the ivory tower is now on the dark road! Under the introduction of my sister at home, I went to the technical secondary school where she once studied to apply for a job. To tell you the truth, I'm very upset. I know I have no skills and no experience. My sister's encouragement doubled my confidence. When her family was poor, she entered the society and started a part-time job before she graduated from technical secondary school. A few years later, she has been the deputy director of a kindergarten! No one knows how hard she worked and how much cynicism she suffered along the way. My sister's experience greatly inspired me and I successfully applied for admission to this school. I didn't even get a graduate student, but I succeeded. I worked here for half a year, and in the second half of the year, the leader suddenly changed direction and wanted to develop in the direction of Chinese studies. I knew it would be farther and farther away from my future teacher, so I resigned again. Stand firm and never look back. As a result, I lost my job again

When I was still looking for a job, my roommates rushed to higher and farther places one by one. Peking University, Hong Kong University, Auckland University, yes, I am looking for a job in a fourth-tier city, and they are wandering in the ocean of academics. When I entered school that year, the father of one of my roommates looked at my name and said to her, Bao, you should be nice to this girl in the future. You can tell from her name that she must be a girl in the village. Yes, we know that the gap existed before we met. But unexpectedly, a few years have passed and the gap is getting bigger and bigger. In the hot and dry summer, I took the bus and walked aimlessly. When I got off the bus, I found that my wallet was stolen by a thief. Hiding behind the bus stop sign, crying out of breath. Now I recall these pains, and my eyes are still astringent.

I feel very sorry when I am with my classmates and friends. Buy vegetables every time you go, and take the initiative to wash dishes after dinner. This kind of life lasted for some time, and my city finally got the senior high school entrance examination. This time, I chose to go home. Every day, my mother goes to work in the fields, so I stay at home and read books. Naked resignation and the pressure of exams gave me a splitting headache, and I finally failed the list. Later, I stayed in an insurance company for 20 days, and went to naked resignation for the third time, because there was a recruitment exam in the city, and the unit was not bad. In the examination of more than 10 thousand people, I finally got in. Although the salary is not high, at least it should be decent, because when I sell insurance, I will always be laughed at and ridiculed. My short experience in the insurance industry has made me understand that the world is climbing high and falling low, but I also understand that there is no distinction between high and low jobs in the world, and I respect people in the service industry more. I have been doing the job I got through the hard exam until today.

But why should I take an examination of the establishment of provincial capitals? I just want to say that love and dreams are my strength to move forward. I am doing a decent job in the eyes of outsiders in this fourth-tier city, but I am not happy inside the unit! Among them, the intertwined interests and unknown nepotism make me more and more silent. Simple and straightforward, living like a clown. I know there is really no job in the world that can satisfy me. I watched a colleague who came in through a relationship, smiling and driving away in a limousine. I only have a wry smile on my face.

Autumn has passed and spring has come. I have lived in this city for five years. I've dated many boys, tried to get along with one or two, and ended up with nothing. People think I'm stupid. I don't want a boy with a house, a car and a job. I need to find someone who gets along. Which couple can't get along! I explained it to them at first, but then I was too lazy to reply. In the third year, I finally met my current husband! I put the girl's reserve behind me and pursued him desperately. Needless to say, he is fine. I have two days off every four days, but I can only wait until the weekend to go to the provincial capital, because only the weekend units have meetings and have to work overtime. Even so, every time I leave this city, I have to say hello to the leader in advance, because of the nature of my work. If you have to work overtime suddenly, you can't come back. We basically meet once a month/kloc-0. 520 kilometers away, I never tire of it. Everyone thinks it is the power of love that makes me so brave, but they don't know it. I have an idea in my heart: I want my next generation to be born in a big city, so that when he enters the university, he can stand on the same competitive platform with others and shine his own light without being taught Mandarin pronunciation and special care by roommates!

Back to the beginning, in fact, I participated in a lot of preparation, but basically ended in failure, and so did this exam. When my husband sent me to the railway station again late at night, I felt disappointed, self-reproached and uncomfortable. On the way to the exam, when will it end? ...

Many people may say that it's a shame that you still take the exam at the age of 30. I sometimes feel like a failure, but on second thought, I have a stable job at present and a raise is just around the corner. I'm just trying to get closer. People live and don't work hard until they look forward.

To this day, my roommates started higher than me, but I no longer envy them. What I paid was to give back to me in another way: a sister graduated from college and a younger brother was admitted to college last year. I worked as a league secretary in the college, joined the school propaganda department, began to learn photography, and tried new media ... He once said: Sister, if I make money one day, I really want to buy a house for you and my mother. The once bad boy is now growing into an excellent young man. He leads a luxurious life that I envy.

I'm 30 years old, and I'm still on my way to catch the exam. Now I treat it in a different way. In life, everyone is not depressed while trying to live.