The unhappiness caused by attending the funeral

Going to my husband's aunt's funeral was originally a simple mourning, but because my husband didn't follow the common etiquette, he was unhappy.

Because we are all in other counties, it is not easy to go back. My husband didn't buy paper sticks, buns and rice as usual, but gave his cousin 500 yuan directly. This is a relatively heavy gift in the local area, but it has aroused the dissatisfaction of his other aunt.

According to the funeral procedure, the afternoon before burial, relatives will stand at the gate of the main village with bought sacrifices, waiting for the funeral band to meet them. Most of the families of aunts and uncles are greeted by this ceremony, and there are also some special situations where several families meet together.

Because Mr. Wang didn't buy a sacrifice, he planned to go with his aunt. While waiting, I saw my aunt and cousins. Naturally, Mr. Wang went to say hello to his aunt, and I also called. I didn't expect menstruation to be indifferent. He just sighed and didn't look back. He loudly said to his children, Take your own things! The eldest daughter-in-law said that we are a family, so let's fight together, but she scolded us.

I immediately realized that my aunt was angry. She must have felt that her unreliable nephew couldn't stand sending her away empty-handed, and it must have aroused her previous dissatisfaction with her husband.

It's a long story, and it needs to be traced back to the time when my mother-in-law died.

My mother-in-law died three years ago. She had cancer before her death, lived in the hospital three times and spent hundreds of thousands. The husband has been working hard, and the only brother is at odds with his mother-in-law for some reason, so she didn't participate in a series of things after her mother-in-law got sick.

My mother-in-law never got the disease at last, at the age of 78. My brother gave my mother-in-law five thousand yuan of fireworks, and the rest of the funeral was borne by my husband.

Mr. Wang had expected such a result, but he didn't complain. Just at the end of the funeral, let Mr. MC announce to relatives that there will be no third anniversary ceremony behind her mother-in-law and relatives will no longer bother her.

It can be said that this move is the first case in the village, and Mr. Wang did not discuss it with others. He had planned it in his mind, and then announced it directly after the funeral.

Although everyone was deeply touched by this decision, no one opposed it on the spot. Some people even say it's good to simplify the funeral and not engage in form and extravagance, and some people in neighboring counties do the same.

On the seventh day, the seventh day, the seventh day, the seventh day, the seventh day and the first anniversary, we went to a grave with our siblings to burn paper to pay homage to our mother-in-law, but it was calm.

On the second anniversary, two aunts came to the grave with us, and then mentioned that it was wrong and unfilial to announce the anniversary at the beginning. If they say you didn't, our sister will celebrate my sister's birthday, and the cost is none of your business.

Mr. Wang repeatedly explained that it is not a question of money. Every time he goes to the grave, he comes back to pay homage, which is considered filial piety. Besides, my mother didn't suffer before she died, and we took good care of her. After her death, all this red tape was unnecessary. What's more, there is no one living in the house for a long time, there is no requirement, and the dust is old and thick, which is inconvenient.

But menstruation had their own opinions, so they almost quarreled and finally broke up.

At the beginning of this spring, my uncles and aunts called my husband again and again, saying that we should celebrate the third anniversary of my mother-in-law anyway, otherwise people would gossip. As her family, we can't ignore her.

After repeated explanations, Mr. Wang quarreled with them on the phone. Mr. Wang thinks that when he announced to his relatives that he would not hold a ceremony, asking him to change now is tantamount to slapping himself in the face. He wouldn't do such a thing.

They are still struggling to catch up and stick to it. My husband was angry and said that my mother was sick only by me. Why don't you be uncles and aunts and let my mother's other son contribute? When my mother was buried, I didn't see you in charge. I have no regrets. Who told me I was a brother? Later, considering our special situation, I decided not to celebrate the anniversary. None of you said anything at that time. It's been three years, so now you're thinking. All you know is that you want to have an anniversary when you touch your mouth, and you want me to suffer. It seems easy for you to stand and talk!

Finally, there was no ceremony for the third anniversary of my mother-in-law, but there were more uncles and aunts burning paper in front of the grave.

When we came back from the cemetery that day, we invited my aunt and uncle to a restaurant for dinner, hoping to take this opportunity to ease the relationship. But they insisted on not going, and my aunt's face was always ugly.

Later, my husband always planned to visit my aunt, but before he could go, my aunt died. So there was an embarrassing scene of aunt's welcoming ceremony before the funeral. My aunt is still angry and even tends not to deal with us.

I chatted with a relative after the funeral today. He mentioned the practice of mother-in-law's funeral and anniversary. In his speech, he was very critical of her husband.

I explained at first, but later I thought it was more difficult to change people's inherent prejudices than to ascend to heaven, so I gave up.

Just a little sad, for Mr. Wang, a frank person who has contributed to the world but is ungrateful.

The same son, working for his parents, is bound to have problems, and criticism and accusations from others will follow, because you are not perfect. How can you still make mistakes? Why didn't you do what everyone thought? That's why you are so unfilial and unreasonable!

From the beginning, no matter what, no one accused, no one theorized, no one quarreled with him, and even gradually realized his goodness!

Alas, Mr. Wang is not perfect either. He can't be perfect. Can you stop being so demanding? Isn't filial piety not as good as the rituals behind you?

Don't give up training camp