Seek the most classic and funny online mantra of this century. .

1. The kid next door finally vowed to lose weight-at the graduation job fair, someone said to him, "Sorry, buddy, you blocked my mobile email.

Number. "

Lei Feng did a good deed without leaving a name, but everything was recorded in his diary.

4. I skipped classes too much. I wanted to go to class yesterday. Seeing the professor, the professor was surprised and said, I haven't seen you for so long, and I have grown so big.

I have a left Qinglong, a right white tiger and a Mickey Mouse tattooed on my shoulder.

Every time I miss a girl, I put a brick on the ground, so there is the Great Wall.

7. The mandarin ducks are drowned by civilized language; Fly with me and fall to death is civilization.

8. Pure, fictional, chaotic and beautiful.

9. Happiness is scratching when it itches. Unfortunately, it means itchy but can't be caught. More unfortunately, the soul and body have not felt it for a long time.

It itches a little.

10. Although I can't be a descendant of the rich, I must be an ancestor of the rich.

1 1. God didn't give me much responsibility, but it still made my heart ache and my bones and muscles tired.

12. Who held my hand and made me crazy for half my life; Who, kiss my eyes, cover my half-life displacement.

13. The crowd searched for her for thousands of Baidu, and suddenly looking back, that person still dismissed me.

14. After studying for more than ten years, I think kindergarten is better.

15. What is happiness? Happiness is that cats eat fish, dogs eat meat, and Altman beats small monsters.

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Misha's retarded dog Wang Cai stepped on the dung ball cockroach that Xiao Qiang once rolled?

17. I like the first half of your mother's short story. That's all for today. Please continue to enjoy it at the same time tomorrow. I like your mother's story.

one half ...

18. Advertisement on the subway: Is it crowded? Buy a car! Advertisements in taxis: Are they blocked? Take the subway!

19. I received a mobile phone message. There is a monkey in the zoo, so ugly that everyone vomits. One day I went to throw up, and the other day you went.

The monkey threw up.

20. Say that money is evil and everyone fishes; Say beauty is a disaster, everyone wants it; It is said that the height is too cold and everyone is climbing; Say that alcohol and tobacco hurt your health, don't give up.

; Say heaven is the best, don't go!

2 1. Strongly protest against the TV play during the advertising time!

22. Thank you, thank you uncle, thank you family, thank you ancestors for 18 generations. Have you ever seen anyone thank you like this? )

23. Although the famous flowers are taken, I will loosen the soil!

24. Excuse me! I'm already dead! But thank you for coming to see me! See you tonight 12!

25. I drown my sorrows in wine, but I learned to swim in this damn pain.

26. Data show that in 2008, men accounted for 52% of the total population in China, while women accounted for 43%. Tianya-Chai Ge's classic, too civilized to use.

Tough language)

27. Do you want to get rich? Do you want to get lucky? Do you want to be an official? Do you want to become famous overnight? Do you want to be young forever?

-Stop dreaming and study hard!

28. A fool stole a beggar's wallet and was seen by a blind man. The deaf man was startled by a loud roar. Camels come forward and lame people fly.

Feet, want to pull him to the * * bureau, pockmarked said, look at my face.

29. Loneliness is a person's carnival, and carnival is the loneliness of a group of people.

30. Don't pursue the truth … the truth is a bitch!

3 1. Dreaming about dream of eating spaghetti, I woke up in the morning and found my shoelaces gone!

32. Love is a road, and friends are trees. There is only one road in life, and there are many trees on one road. If you have money, you won't get lost; if you lack money, you will rely on trees; if you are happy, you won't forget your way; when you rest, you will water trees.

33. An iron pestle can be ground into a needle, and a wooden pestle can only be ground into a toothpick. The material is wrong, and it's no use trying again.

34. The green hills remain the same, and the firewood remains the same.

I don't want to eat porridge every day. I went to the vegetable market yesterday. I think I'll continue to eat porridge.

37. My principle is: if people don't attack me, I won't attack; If someone attacks me, I will be angry!

38. I slowly discovered that talents are goblins! Some goblins eat people, but people eat everything. If you catch a leprechaun, maybe you can have a barbecue!

39. After listening to your words, saints study.

4 1. Geography teacher: What would our world be like if the earth stopped turning?

Little B: Even if the earth doesn't turn, we will continue to turn around the central government with President Hu as the center.

42. You see, there are always so many things that make you sad in the world: lack of rain or shine, joys and sorrows, impotence and premature ejaculation. . . .

44. The bombarded head was also combed by lightning.

45. Love is a luxury. It's like a fox coat in a Paris window, so dazzling and charming, but the price tag on it will wake people up. Love is also a luxury, you can only look at it from a distance, don't fantasize, don't touch it, because it is indispensable to meet the right person at the right time and in the right place.

46. If something goes wrong, look for the reason from yourself first. Don't blame the earth for its lack of gravity when you are constipated.

47. Although I am not very handsome, when I was a child, some people praised my left nostril as an idol.

48. Old advice: Daughter, eat a little to lose weight.

49. Spring is a season of colds and high spirits. Someone accidentally caught a cold, and someone accidentally fell in love. I belong to the former.

50. I am also an infatuated seed, but it rained ... and I drowned.