Cold joke riddle

1. Why does the silkworm baby have money? = => Because it will cocoon (frugal)

2. Why didn't the white rabbit marry the zebra? = => Because mother rabbit says tattoos are not good children.

When will 3.tw be reunified? = => When buying instant noodles (unified instant noodles)

4. What line does the monkey dislike? = => Parallel lines (because there is no intersection)

5. Chocolate and tomatoes fight. Why does chocolate win? = => Because of chocolate bars.

6. What happens when sharks eat mung beans? = => turned into green bean paste.

7. After the match burned, it went to the hospital. What has it become? = => Cotton swab

8. How did Lin Daiyu die? = => Fall to death (a sister Lin fell from the sky)

9. A pig smashed a dish after saying "Come on"? = => Chocolate

10. The potato stabbed the steamed stuffed bun with a deadly knife. What happened? = => has become a bean paste (killing) bag.

1 1. What animals like to stick on the wall? = => Seal (newspaper)

12. Why do foxes often fall down? = => Because foxes are cunning (slippery)

13.4 people are playing mahjong in the house. Why did the police come and take away five people = => Because the people they played were called "Mahjong".

14. When do you like soda? = => When you are lonely (when you are lonely, you will want soda)

15. An egg goes to the teahouse for tea. What happened afterwards? = => It turned out to be a tea egg.

16. There is a male deer. He walks faster and faster. What happened in the end? = => It became an expressway.

17. One day Mung Bean committed suicide and jumped from the fifth floor, bleeding a lot. What happened? = => has become a red bean.

18. Why didn't the plane hit the stars when it was flying so high? = => Because the stars will twinkle.

19. Corn wanted to pursue fashion and got a perm. What was the result? = => turned into popcorn.

20. What mouse walks on two feet? = => Mickey Mouse

2 1. What duck walks on two feet? = => All ducks walk on two legs.

22. Miss, business is not good now. Why? = => Highly pathogenic avian influenza (HPAI)

23. What kind of people can't work in a gas station? = => A smooth talker (oil gun slips)

24. Is jiaozi a boy or a girl? = => Boys because jiaozi has a foreskin.

25. People in gold clothes = => Shocking (golden) people.

26. A bee stung on the calendar = = > Wind (bee) and sunshine (calendar)

27. A bear is coming. Come prepared (bear comes)

28. The mobile phone can't fall into the toilet = => It's now or never.

29. There are ten sheep, and nine are squatting in the sheepfold = => cadence (one sheep squats wrong)

30. How to make the sparrow quiet? = => Give it a pressure (silence)

3 1. What is a transparent sword? = => Invisibility (Sword)

32. What do African cannibals eat? A: If they eat people, should the chief be a vegetarian? = => Vegetable eater

33. Why are there no dinosaurs now? = => The dinosaur went to make a movie.

34. Xiao Bai looks like his brother. Do you know why? = => It's really like Dabai.

35. How about an egg swimming in Songhua River? = => turned into a preserved egg

36. What about an egg that went to Shandong? = => turned into a (salted) egg.

37. How about homeless eggs? = => became a wild egg.

38. What if an egg accidentally falls on the road and falls to the ground? = => It became an inverted (guided) bomb.

39. An egg fell into the flower. How's it going? = => became Hua Dan.

40. How about an egg swimming in the Dead Sea? = => has become a salted egg superman.

4 1. Xiaoming and Xiaohua go to the seaside to tell jokes. He died after telling jokes. Why? = => Because of the tsunami (laughs)

42. Why don't men go out? = => Because when you go out, you become a layman.

43. Why can't I see God's dick? = => The secret (pheasant) must not be revealed.

44. Why is the iceberg just the tip of the iceberg? = => Because the other horn was broken by the Titanic.

45. How to keep ducks from flying away? = => Give it a wing.

46. Who doesn't have a phone? = => Tianyi (Tianyi Seamless Mobile Phone)

47. Ma Jiajue once told me privately that "a blunt knife is the most lethal". Why? = => Because it is a hammer.

48. Why did Chang 'e go to the moon? = => After nine days of shooting, even the immortals couldn't stand it.

49. Little Black, Little White, Little Yellow and Little Red are flying. Who will get sick? = => White rabbit (vomiting)

50. A fat man jumped from a tall building. What happened? = => Become a fat man.

5 1. Two people fell into a trap. The dead call the dead, what is the name of the living? = => Save someone's life

52. Which is the worst, rubber, tiger skin or lion skin? = => Eraser (Eraser Difference)

53. What are cloth and paper afraid of? = => Not (cloth) afraid of ten thousand, just (paper) afraid of one thousand.

54. The next guest is the pride of China men. He is a singer. Guess who it is? = => Ju Gu Chicken

55. Which song has the lyrics of "CoCo Lee"? = => The moon represents my heart (CoCo Lee, how much I love you).

56. Why does Harry Potter live in a light bulb? = => Because Harry Potter is a wizard (tungsten wire)

57. What Kirin tastes best? = => Ice cream

58. What Kirin runs fastest? = => Michelin

59. The cause of constipation (name a foreign star) = => Stallone (shit is too thick)

60. In cities or villages, where does the river run? = => In the country, because the river in the country is too urgent (why do you have to cook in such a hurry).

6 1.a, b, c, d, e, Ji, g, Xin, which word is the coolest? = => Ding

62. There is a room where pigeons can hide = => I hide your songs (pigeons) on the roof.

63. What should I do at 12 pm? = => cramming, because when it is close to (zero), cramming.

64. Who is the thinnest, police, hooligans or soldiers? = => Rogue (rogue professor-thin)

65. An idiot took down the toilet on the plane and threw it away. Guess why? = => Because he is an idiot.

How many brothers does Aladdin have? = => Three (Ala A, Ala B, Ala C)

67. A group of eunuchs are chatting. Guess an idiom = => Nonsense (no chicken talk)

68. How much is a heart worth? = => 100 million (single-minded)

69. Which is stupid, the sun, the moon or the stars? = => Stars (The stars in the sky don't talk-Lu)

69. What's the name of this pencil? = => Small, sharpen the pencil.

70. What color can best imitate? Red (mill) imitation

7 1. Who will help you eat when you are full? = => Feilong, because Feilong is added in days.

72. A little dog was traveling in the desert and then died. How did he die? = => He suffocated because there was no telephone pole to pee on in the desert.

A puppy was traveling in the desert and found a telephone pole, but it was still stuffy. Why? = => "No peeing here" is posted on the dotted line pole.

A dog was traveling in the desert and found a telephone pole. Nothing stuck on it, but it was stuffy. Why? = => Many puppies are waiting in line.

A dog was traveling in the desert and found a telephone pole. Nothing was posted on it, and there was a queue. The result is still suffocating. Why? = => Because there are two beautiful dogs MM behind him, he is embarrassed.

73. Who will be eliminated, wolf, tiger or lion? = => Wolf, because-Momotaro (elimination of wolves)

74. Which is the most unfair historical figure? = => Suwu Shepherd Cup seaside

75. Which character ran fastest in history? = => Cao Cao

76. Cars can fly. Please guess a drink = => coffee (car fly)

77. There is a steamed bun and a meatball. What happened? = => Changed to steamed stuffed bun.

78. Who gave you the water of forgetting? = => Aha ("Aha, give me a glass of forgetful water")

79. There is a white cat and a black cat. The white cat fell into the water and the black cat saved it. What did the white cat say to the black cat? = => Seagull

80. Xiaoming's grandfather sings while brushing his teeth. Why? = => It's a false tooth.

8 1. How heavy are the stars in the sky? = => Eight grams (Starbucks)

82.tw is a part of China (name a Chinese herbal medicine) = => Angelica.

83. The Jade Emperor is called (name a city) = => Tianjin.

84. Why do geese fly to the south in autumn? = => It's too slow to walk.

85. Farmers have raised 10 cows, with only 19 horns. Why? = => There is a rhinoceros.

86. Pangpang is a famous diver, but one day he stood on the springboard but didn't dare to jump. Why? = => Because there is no water below.

87. A taxi was driving normally on the expressway, but it didn't violate any traffic rules, but it was stopped by a policeman. Why? = => The police want to take a taxi.

88. What chicken has no wings? = => Frog

89. What is hard and comfortable to type? = => doze off

90. What is the product with the same production date and effective date? = => newspaper

9 1. What books are not available in bookstores? = => suicide note

92. Best seller? = => Female secretary

93. The spider fell in love with the butterfly, but the butterfly refused it. Why? = => My mother said that surfing the Internet all day is not a good person.

94。 Pandas love deer deeply, but they are rejected when they express their love. Why? = => The deer said timidly, my mother said that all the people wearing sunglasses are bad teenagers.

95. Who didn't attend the zoo meeting? = => lion (because the lion lost contact)

96. Fat people sit in sedan chairs (name a place) = => Yugoslavia (hard to die)

97. Go to the toilet (enter the name of a Hong Kong female artist) = => Karen Mok (reason: Karen Mok)

98. Grandpa, dad, brother, who will cry after listening to mom? = => Grandpa remembered his mother's words (night after night) and his tears glistened.

99. There are two bees who love each other very much, but later the mother bee married the spider. Why? = => Because this female bee loves nets.

100. Good day, sad night (Gai Lou) = => Single-plank bridge.

10 1. Which star in the entertainment circle stutters? = => Christine (because ... Christine: "Hello, I'm Christine Christine")

102: If there is a car, Xiaoming is the driver and Xiaohong is the passenger, whose car is it? = => "If"! If you have a car.

103: What did Kirin become when it arrived at the North Pole? = => Ice Kirin (ice bullying)!

104: which is the oldest, McDonald's or KFC? = => KFC! Because KFC's image is grandpa and McDonald's is uncle. .

1. A dying man made a will to his wife: "When I die, I hope you can marry our neighbor Mr. Ed." The wife was puzzled, so she explained, "Two years ago, the cow that this bastard sold me couldn't milk at all. Now I want him to feel cheated!"

Dad told the fish that he was often hungry when he was a child. Fish and fish had tears in their eyes: "Well, Dad, did you come to our house because you didn't have food?"

3. A train passed a mountainous area, and farmers came to watch along the way. A female guest on the bus had a holiday and went out of the window after changing the paper.

Flying head-on in a farmer's face, the farmer took it off and said, "Wow! ! ! The train is fast, and a piece of paper can make my nose bleed.

My three-year-old daughter often says to me, "Dad, don't you understand what you are planting?" I said, "Yes, you reap what you sow." The daughter said happily, "Then I grow jelly. I want a lot of jelly."

The two fathers and sons are violent and never let people down. One day, the father ordered his son to buy meat to entertain guests. When I came back, I met a man who refused to give way at the city gate. After standing for a long time, my father ran over: "Good son, you take the meat first, and I will stand next to you!" "

A joke may be just a phrase, a short story or a series of words, which makes the speaker and communicator feel funny or humorous. The difference between action jokes and oral jokes is that action jokes affect people's vision and make people feel funny.

6- When a swimming pool is built in one place, the staff will mobilize everyone to donate. The staff said to an old farmer, what are you going to donate to this swimming pool? The old farmer said, "I donate two buckets of water!" " "

7- Kitten: My mother is a master and my father is a doctor. Xiao Xin: What's the big deal! Kitten: Who are your parents? Xiao Xin: My father is a man and my mother is a woman.

A gecko got lost in front of the securities company. At this time, a big crocodile just crawled over and prepared to eat it in one bite. In desperation, the little gecko hugged the crocodile's leg and shouted, "Mom!" " The crocodile was shocked and then burst into tears: "Son, you just lost half a month in stock trading!" "

At least you.

One day a pig said to another pig, "If all the pigs in the world are dead, then play a song." The pig said angrily, "At least there is you!" " "

10. Can you develop games?

Happy Paradise has a new colleague who graduated from a famous university majoring in computer science. The bear was envious and asked admiringly, "Can you develop games?"

"Yes, I was the president of the student union when I was at school. I often organize various activities. Developing games is too simple. "

"What games have you developed?"

"Well, for example, now let's see who can learn like a rabbit ..."

1 1 inflation

The global financial crisis led to inflation. Money is becoming less and less valuable. The boss decided to hold a staff meeting to deal with the current problem.

"Comrades, because of inflation, money is becoming less and less valuable. Therefore, the food fee of 100 yuan that everyone had to pay every month was changed to 200 yuan every month after research. "

[Edit this paragraph] A joke trick

Jokes don't care about the length, sometimes just a few words can make everyone laugh, such as:

1A: My two marriages failed.

B: What's the matter?

The first wife left.

How about the second one?

She won't leave.

Jokes are made up of words. Most of them are short, and people will laugh.

Push the door and bump into my daughter chatting naked.

We assume that you are the father (I mean hypothetically). What would you do if you came home and suddenly found your daughter chatting naked and pushed the door into her room? ! "

Guess what her father usually says now? Let me guess, Goldbach.

Answer 1: A very unimaginative father would reply, "Absolutely impossible! Because my girl stipulates that I am not allowed to enter the house without knocking! "

Answer 2: A more obedient father: "Generally speaking, before I speak, my daughter will growl at me and shout' Get out!'" " "

Answer 3: grumpy father: "I will rush up and kill her with a folding bench!" " I won't let her give me a good trip! "

Answer 4: Humorous father: "Why don't you turn on the air conditioner? ! "

Answer 5: A father who didn't meet for the first time said numbly, "Come out for dinner after chatting." Or "eat first, then finish eating."

Answer 6: A panicked father rushed in and pulled the plug.

Answer 7: the father of a money addict: "I'll collect the management fee."

Answer 8: A goat's father: "Daughter, what's the charge? Give me a discount? "

Minimum requirements for girlfriends

In the dormitory of college students at night, students often talk about their ideal object at night.

One summer night, the air was sultry and abnormal, and it was difficult for a boy to fall asleep in the male dormitory. Let me help you talk about the requirements for your future girlfriend.

Xiao Yang is a very cheerful handsome boy and is very popular with girls. He proudly said, "Well, I'll find someone who is 1.6 meters tall, slim and handsome."

He is not very handsome, but Xiao Wu, the president of the school literature society, said slowly, "I don't have high requirements for my girlfriend, as long as I am worthy of her, have a gentle personality and have bright long hair."

Xiao Wang is a man with little literary talent and not handsome enough, but he is good at flattering. He sighed and said, "Well, I have the lowest requirements for my girlfriend, as long as it doesn't affect the city."

Finally, only Xiao Wu said nothing in the dormitory. Xiao Wu is short and introverted, and his face turns red when talking to girls. Three other people in the dormitory kept encouraging him that he always refused. Finally, Xiao Yang refused: "We all said, at least tell me your minimum requirements for your girlfriend."

Seeing that there was nothing to do, Xiao Wu blushed, huddled under the bed and squeezed out four words: "Woman, alive."

An elegant beauty, holding her child in her arms and getting ready to get on the bus!

When getting on the bus, the driver found that the beauty's child was really ugly, so he said to the beauty, "It's really ugly!"

Belle was very angry after hearing this, gave the driver a hard stare and angrily walked to the back of the carriage!

At this time, a man next to Belle comforted her: "Did the driver bully you just now? It's okay. I'll hold this monkey for you. Go and settle accounts with him! "